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When was your " think I've settled" moment

When was your " think I've settled" moment

Old Mar 7th 2014, 8:47 am
  #16  
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Default Re: When was your " think I've settled" moment

I have been here for five years and still feel like I am an immigrant - a guest in somebody else's country.

Having said that, I didn't much like the part of the UK that I grew up in - it was very pleasant but also a parochial backwater, and I was drawn to London from my teenage years.

I think that I am too old to enjoy living in London now but I still haven't worked out where I should be instead.

So in summary, the 'not feeling settled' aspect is more to do with me than it is to do with New Zealand!
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Old Mar 7th 2014, 9:15 am
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Default Re: When was your " think I've settled" moment

2yrs and still waiting, hoping a move to another area will help
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Old Mar 7th 2014, 10:51 am
  #18  
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Default Re: When was your " think I've settled" moment

When I showed some Kiwi mates from down south my newly build mancave, they said I was becoming a proper Kiwi now. Felt good.
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Old Mar 7th 2014, 11:21 am
  #19  
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Default Re: When was your " think I've settled" moment

We've been here 3 years and I don't think we'll ever feel settled here, we're never going to think NZ is home as we're just not in love with the place. We like being here and it's been good for us but there's not a cat in hells chance we're staying here for the rest of our lives.

My wife got back from a visit back to England yesterday and we've been talking about many things, one thing we did say was that the last 3 years has been like we've logged out of life in the world, as if we've taken a holiday away from living on earth. And I think that's our problem, living in the kiwi bubble where sometimes the outside world doesn't seem to exist is a struggle. It's ok for a short time but long term isn't an option, we'll end up going stir crazy. So I think it's these reasons we'll never feel settled, we don't really belong here.
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Old Mar 7th 2014, 12:49 pm
  #20  
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Default Re: When was your " think I've settled" moment

Indeed, we’ve been here 6 years and still feel like fish out of water, but we are in our 50’s so maybe that has something to do with it. One incident recently illustrates this for me.

Going into a tyre garage to get two tyres replaced.

Me: I walk in and ask for two tyres to be fitted (I’d called previously to check)
They: When
Me: Now
They: Ah.. come back after lunch
Me: OK

After lunch
Me: I’ve come for my tyres to be fitted.
They: Ah…ok (not impressed)
Me: (Stand there with arms folded until they’re done). Pay. Thank you.

Another customer comes in at this moment…
Gooday how’s it going
It’s goin good how you goin
Good, just droppin off couple o’ tyres
Sweet
Tomrrow sarvo
No probs
Sweet as
Catch ya later
Good as gold

Or words to that effect, you get the idea.

I feel like an alien probably because I am an alien in their world. So you can either like it, put up with it or leave. I put up with it at the moment.
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Old Mar 7th 2014, 1:04 pm
  #21  
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Default Re: When was your " think I've settled" moment

This is interesting....

  • Forethought: This is a positive time as you plan the move to New Zealand. It is important though to have realistic expectations about your new home country.
  • Fun: The excitement of new people and new places means those who arrive feel very positively about their new home.
  • Fright: At some point, something will happen. It might be a big thing or a small thing, but it will make you feel frustrated and/or unhappy.
  • Flight: If something happens and newcomers don’t have a network of friends or family to call on, they may look at moving on or returning to their country of origin at this point.
  • Fight: This is the turning point, when people become realistic about what it’s like to live here and consciously decide to stay and make their life here.
  • Fit: By this stage, the challenges are more about the usual things that people think about every day, not about being in a new country. People have decided to stay and contribute and this leads to a sense of ‘fit’ .This means they believe they have made the right decision and New Zealand is where they want to be.
Almost every person who arrives in New Zealand goes through this ‘curve’ of emotions over their first 18 months to two years.





http://www.ssnz.govt.nz/living-in-ne...ettling-in.asp
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Old Mar 7th 2014, 1:30 pm
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Default Re: When was your " think I've settled" moment

Originally Posted by barnsleymat
......one thing we did say was that the last 3 years has been like we've logged out of life in the world, as if we've taken a holiday away from living on earth. And I think that's our problem, living in the kiwi bubble where sometimes the outside world doesn't seem to exist is a struggle ......
I can relate to this and have often had the same feeling of being 'logged out of life' here; especially when you hear about major events and things that have happened weeks, months and years after they have occurred. I know there's only so many things in life we can know and care about in the world but I miss the chit chat and those snippets of 'useless information' about people and life around the world in general. Those conversations that just don't seem to happen here, due to lack of interest in the world beyond NZ shores.

There's little to talk about beyond the same old news headlines that are on a loop everyday; rugby, house prices, car accidents, drunk driving, p labs, lost tourists and bashed kids.

Just for a larf, I had a look to see what was the number one most popular story in the 'local rag' today:

MOTAT Boss Quits as volunteers walk out


FFS hardly compelling stuff, most of the stories that make National news here would barely make it to the local freebie papers of the UK. Some I daresay see this as a good thing and I guess plenty of people come here to do exactly that and 'log out' of life but even at my age I am certainly not ready to hit the shut down button just yet.
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Old Mar 7th 2014, 1:55 pm
  #23  
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Default Re: When was your " think I've settled" moment

When my partners (Kiwi) workmate popped over the other day for a beer and said "shit bro, you're more Kiwi that I am" when we showed him the new area in our garage dedicated purely to brewing beer
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Old Mar 7th 2014, 2:12 pm
  #24  
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Default Re: When was your " think I've settled" moment

Originally Posted by KiwiDreamer
Going into a tyre garage to get two tyres replaced.

Me: I walk in and ask for two tyres to be fitted (I’d called previously to check)
They: When
Me: Now
They: Ah.. come back after lunch
Me: OK

After lunch
Me: I’ve come for my tyres to be fitted.
They: Ah…ok (not impressed)
Me: (Stand there with arms folded until they’re done). Pay. Thank you.

Another customer comes in at this moment…
Gooday how’s it going
It’s goin good how you goin
Good, just droppin off couple o’ tyres
Sweet
Tomrrow sarvo
No probs
Sweet as
Catch ya later
Good as gold

Or words to that effect, you get the idea.

I feel like an alien probably because I am an alien in their world. So you can either like it, put up with it or leave. I put up with it at the moment.
I could see myself in that scenario, I thought it was a male / female thing, so you've scuppered that idea for me. I always find that car places, tradies and the likes here seem to be unaccustomed to dealing with the lady of the house. I gave one fella a ticking off as he shook my OHs hand and gave him all the sweet as bro, I'll see you right treatment and thanking him for the business of fixing up my bloomin car; er excuse me young man it's my car, I brought the car in, I paid for it and OH had absolutely nothing to do with the transaction.
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Old Mar 7th 2014, 2:34 pm
  #25  
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Default Re: When was your " think I've settled" moment

Originally Posted by Bo-Jangles
I could see myself in that scenario, I thought it was a male / female thing, so you've scuppered that idea for me. I always find that car places, tradies and the likes here seem to be unaccustomed to dealing with the lady of the house. I gave one fella a ticking off as he shook my OHs hand and gave him all the sweet as bro, I'll see you right treatment and thanking him for the business of fixing up my bloomin car; er excuse me young man it's my car, I brought the car in, I paid for it and OH had absolutely nothing to do with the transaction.
That reminds me of the first time I took my car to the garage, leaving it to be serviced etc They called me an hour later and insisted on speaking to my husband! I told them to tell me what the problem was and they were quite patronising in their reply and suggesting my partner call them to discuss! I didn't even have a partner!!
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Old Mar 7th 2014, 2:36 pm
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Default Re: When was your " think I've settled" moment

Originally Posted by Pom_Chch
When my partners (Kiwi) workmate popped over the other day for a beer and said "shit bro, you're more Kiwi that I am" when we showed him the new area in our garage dedicated purely to brewing beer
See it's crap like that that does my head in; people have been brewing beer the world over since ages ago - it's not a Kiwi thing. It's always been a bit uncool and synonymous with 1970s dads, along with manky beards, handknitted jumpers and socks and sandals - so I can see why NZers have adopted it as their own. A bit like having a bar in your garage - euhhh!
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Old Mar 7th 2014, 2:42 pm
  #27  
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Default Re: When was your " think I've settled" moment

Originally Posted by Bo-Jangles
See it's crap like that that does my head in; people have been brewing beer the world over since ages ago - it's not a Kiwi thing. It's always been a bit uncool and synonymous with 1970s dads, along with manky beards, handknitted jumpers and socks and sandals - so I can see why NZers have adopted it as their own. A bit like having a bar in your garage - euhhh!
Kiwis aren't even big beer drinkers, they're well down the beer consumption world league table. You've only got to see the tiny glasses pubs serve beer in to see they're not big beer drinkers, let's not mention the price of the stuff.
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Old Mar 7th 2014, 3:47 pm
  #28  
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Default Re: When was your " think I've settled" moment

Originally Posted by Bo-Jangles
:It's always been a bit uncool and synonymous with 1970s dads, along with manky beards, handknitted jumpers and socks and sandals - so I can see why NZers have adopted it as their own. !
Great comment - and I kinda have to agree!
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Old Mar 7th 2014, 6:43 pm
  #29  
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Default Re: When was your " think I've settled" moment

Originally Posted by MrsFychan
2yrs and still waiting, hoping a move to another area will help
So am I (still waiting)
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Old Mar 7th 2014, 6:56 pm
  #30  
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Default Re: When was your " think I've settled" moment

Originally Posted by jmh
This is interesting....

http://www.ssnz.govt.nz/living-in-ne...ment-Curve.jpg
  • Forethought: This is a positive time as you plan the move to New Zealand. It is important though to have realistic expectations about your new home country.
  • Fun: The excitement of new people and new places means those who arrive feel very positively about their new home.
  • Fright: At some point, something will happen. It might be a big thing or a small thing, but it will make you feel frustrated and/or unhappy.
  • Flight: If something happens and newcomers don’t have a network of friends or family to call on, they may look at moving on or returning to their country of origin at this point.
  • Fight: This is the turning point, when people become realistic about what it’s like to live here and consciously decide to stay and make their life here.
  • Fit: By this stage, the challenges are more about the usual things that people think about every day, not about being in a new country. People have decided to stay and contribute and this leads to a sense of ‘fit’ .This means they believe they have made the right decision and New Zealand is where they want to be.
Almost every person who arrives in New Zealand goes through this ‘curve’ of emotions over their first 18 months to two years.





http://www.ssnz.govt.nz/living-in-ne...ettling-in.asp
And they lived happily ever after....not. I actually know quiet a few German immigrants who have lived in NZ for many many years, but now that they are growing old they feel stuck, having traveled every road in NZ, would like to return to Europe/ move on to other countries, but for various reasons do/can not. So not for everyone there will be a "fit" feeling for ever. For me there never was a fit feeling although I had a decent job, a great landlord and fantastic friends.
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