When was your " think I've settled" moment
#16
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: Auckland
Posts: 463
Re: When was your " think I've settled" moment
I have been here for five years and still feel like I am an immigrant - a guest in somebody else's country.
Having said that, I didn't much like the part of the UK that I grew up in - it was very pleasant but also a parochial backwater, and I was drawn to London from my teenage years.
I think that I am too old to enjoy living in London now but I still haven't worked out where I should be instead.
So in summary, the 'not feeling settled' aspect is more to do with me than it is to do with New Zealand!
Having said that, I didn't much like the part of the UK that I grew up in - it was very pleasant but also a parochial backwater, and I was drawn to London from my teenage years.
I think that I am too old to enjoy living in London now but I still haven't worked out where I should be instead.
So in summary, the 'not feeling settled' aspect is more to do with me than it is to do with New Zealand!
#17
MODERATOR
Joined: Oct 2011
Location: Wellington - I miss Castles, the NHS & English school system
Posts: 9,077
Re: When was your " think I've settled" moment
2yrs and still waiting, hoping a move to another area will help
#18
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2012
Location: St Albans, Christchurch
Posts: 586
Re: When was your " think I've settled" moment
When I showed some Kiwi mates from down south my newly build mancave, they said I was becoming a proper Kiwi now. Felt good.
#19
Re: When was your " think I've settled" moment
We've been here 3 years and I don't think we'll ever feel settled here, we're never going to think NZ is home as we're just not in love with the place. We like being here and it's been good for us but there's not a cat in hells chance we're staying here for the rest of our lives.
My wife got back from a visit back to England yesterday and we've been talking about many things, one thing we did say was that the last 3 years has been like we've logged out of life in the world, as if we've taken a holiday away from living on earth. And I think that's our problem, living in the kiwi bubble where sometimes the outside world doesn't seem to exist is a struggle. It's ok for a short time but long term isn't an option, we'll end up going stir crazy. So I think it's these reasons we'll never feel settled, we don't really belong here.
My wife got back from a visit back to England yesterday and we've been talking about many things, one thing we did say was that the last 3 years has been like we've logged out of life in the world, as if we've taken a holiday away from living on earth. And I think that's our problem, living in the kiwi bubble where sometimes the outside world doesn't seem to exist is a struggle. It's ok for a short time but long term isn't an option, we'll end up going stir crazy. So I think it's these reasons we'll never feel settled, we don't really belong here.
#20
Just Joined
Joined: Feb 2008
Location: NZ
Posts: 28
Re: When was your " think I've settled" moment
Indeed, we’ve been here 6 years and still feel like fish out of water, but we are in our 50’s so maybe that has something to do with it. One incident recently illustrates this for me.
Going into a tyre garage to get two tyres replaced.
Me: I walk in and ask for two tyres to be fitted (I’d called previously to check)
They: When
Me: Now
They: Ah.. come back after lunch
Me: OK
After lunch
Me: I’ve come for my tyres to be fitted.
They: Ah…ok (not impressed)
Me: (Stand there with arms folded until they’re done). Pay. Thank you.
Another customer comes in at this moment…
Gooday how’s it going
It’s goin good how you goin
Good, just droppin off couple o’ tyres
Sweet
Tomrrow sarvo
No probs
Sweet as
Catch ya later
Good as gold
Or words to that effect, you get the idea.
I feel like an alien probably because I am an alien in their world. So you can either like it, put up with it or leave. I put up with it at the moment.
Going into a tyre garage to get two tyres replaced.
Me: I walk in and ask for two tyres to be fitted (I’d called previously to check)
They: When
Me: Now
They: Ah.. come back after lunch
Me: OK
After lunch
Me: I’ve come for my tyres to be fitted.
They: Ah…ok (not impressed)
Me: (Stand there with arms folded until they’re done). Pay. Thank you.
Another customer comes in at this moment…
Gooday how’s it going
It’s goin good how you goin
Good, just droppin off couple o’ tyres
Sweet
Tomrrow sarvo
No probs
Sweet as
Catch ya later
Good as gold
Or words to that effect, you get the idea.
I feel like an alien probably because I am an alien in their world. So you can either like it, put up with it or leave. I put up with it at the moment.
#21
Re: When was your " think I've settled" moment
This is interesting....
http://www.ssnz.govt.nz/living-in-ne...ettling-in.asp
- Forethought: This is a positive time as you plan the move to New Zealand. It is important though to have realistic expectations about your new home country.
- Fun: The excitement of new people and new places means those who arrive feel very positively about their new home.
- Fright: At some point, something will happen. It might be a big thing or a small thing, but it will make you feel frustrated and/or unhappy.
- Flight: If something happens and newcomers don’t have a network of friends or family to call on, they may look at moving on or returning to their country of origin at this point.
- Fight: This is the turning point, when people become realistic about what it’s like to live here and consciously decide to stay and make their life here.
- Fit: By this stage, the challenges are more about the usual things that people think about every day, not about being in a new country. People have decided to stay and contribute and this leads to a sense of ‘fit’ .This means they believe they have made the right decision and New Zealand is where they want to be.
http://www.ssnz.govt.nz/living-in-ne...ettling-in.asp
#22
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jun 2005
Location: In a large village called Auckland
Posts: 5,249
Re: When was your " think I've settled" moment
......one thing we did say was that the last 3 years has been like we've logged out of life in the world, as if we've taken a holiday away from living on earth. And I think that's our problem, living in the kiwi bubble where sometimes the outside world doesn't seem to exist is a struggle ......
There's little to talk about beyond the same old news headlines that are on a loop everyday; rugby, house prices, car accidents, drunk driving, p labs, lost tourists and bashed kids.
Just for a larf, I had a look to see what was the number one most popular story in the 'local rag' today:
MOTAT Boss Quits as volunteers walk out
FFS hardly compelling stuff, most of the stories that make National news here would barely make it to the local freebie papers of the UK. Some I daresay see this as a good thing and I guess plenty of people come here to do exactly that and 'log out' of life but even at my age I am certainly not ready to hit the shut down button just yet.
#23
Re: When was your " think I've settled" moment
When my partners (Kiwi) workmate popped over the other day for a beer and said "shit bro, you're more Kiwi that I am" when we showed him the new area in our garage dedicated purely to brewing beer
#24
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jun 2005
Location: In a large village called Auckland
Posts: 5,249
Re: When was your " think I've settled" moment
Going into a tyre garage to get two tyres replaced.
Me: I walk in and ask for two tyres to be fitted (I’d called previously to check)
They: When
Me: Now
They: Ah.. come back after lunch
Me: OK
After lunch
Me: I’ve come for my tyres to be fitted.
They: Ah…ok (not impressed)
Me: (Stand there with arms folded until they’re done). Pay. Thank you.
Another customer comes in at this moment…
Gooday how’s it going
It’s goin good how you goin
Good, just droppin off couple o’ tyres
Sweet
Tomrrow sarvo
No probs
Sweet as
Catch ya later
Good as gold
Or words to that effect, you get the idea.
I feel like an alien probably because I am an alien in their world. So you can either like it, put up with it or leave. I put up with it at the moment.
Me: I walk in and ask for two tyres to be fitted (I’d called previously to check)
They: When
Me: Now
They: Ah.. come back after lunch
Me: OK
After lunch
Me: I’ve come for my tyres to be fitted.
They: Ah…ok (not impressed)
Me: (Stand there with arms folded until they’re done). Pay. Thank you.
Another customer comes in at this moment…
Gooday how’s it going
It’s goin good how you goin
Good, just droppin off couple o’ tyres
Sweet
Tomrrow sarvo
No probs
Sweet as
Catch ya later
Good as gold
Or words to that effect, you get the idea.
I feel like an alien probably because I am an alien in their world. So you can either like it, put up with it or leave. I put up with it at the moment.
#25
Re: When was your " think I've settled" moment
I could see myself in that scenario, I thought it was a male / female thing, so you've scuppered that idea for me. I always find that car places, tradies and the likes here seem to be unaccustomed to dealing with the lady of the house. I gave one fella a ticking off as he shook my OHs hand and gave him all the sweet as bro, I'll see you right treatment and thanking him for the business of fixing up my bloomin car; er excuse me young man it's my car, I brought the car in, I paid for it and OH had absolutely nothing to do with the transaction.
#26
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jun 2005
Location: In a large village called Auckland
Posts: 5,249
Re: When was your " think I've settled" moment
See it's crap like that that does my head in; people have been brewing beer the world over since ages ago - it's not a Kiwi thing. It's always been a bit uncool and synonymous with 1970s dads, along with manky beards, handknitted jumpers and socks and sandals - so I can see why NZers have adopted it as their own. A bit like having a bar in your garage - euhhh!
#27
Re: When was your " think I've settled" moment
See it's crap like that that does my head in; people have been brewing beer the world over since ages ago - it's not a Kiwi thing. It's always been a bit uncool and synonymous with 1970s dads, along with manky beards, handknitted jumpers and socks and sandals - so I can see why NZers have adopted it as their own. A bit like having a bar in your garage - euhhh!
#28
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Apr 2008
Location: Bay of Plenty
Posts: 331
Re: When was your " think I've settled" moment
#30
Re: When was your " think I've settled" moment
This is interesting....
http://www.ssnz.govt.nz/living-in-ne...ment-Curve.jpg
http://www.ssnz.govt.nz/living-in-ne...ettling-in.asp
http://www.ssnz.govt.nz/living-in-ne...ment-Curve.jpg
- Forethought: This is a positive time as you plan the move to New Zealand. It is important though to have realistic expectations about your new home country.
- Fun: The excitement of new people and new places means those who arrive feel very positively about their new home.
- Fright: At some point, something will happen. It might be a big thing or a small thing, but it will make you feel frustrated and/or unhappy.
- Flight: If something happens and newcomers don’t have a network of friends or family to call on, they may look at moving on or returning to their country of origin at this point.
- Fight: This is the turning point, when people become realistic about what it’s like to live here and consciously decide to stay and make their life here.
- Fit: By this stage, the challenges are more about the usual things that people think about every day, not about being in a new country. People have decided to stay and contribute and this leads to a sense of ‘fit’ .This means they believe they have made the right decision and New Zealand is where they want to be.
http://www.ssnz.govt.nz/living-in-ne...ettling-in.asp