Snap Shot

Lucky you.

Choccie

Interesting thread - if I had replied a few months ago I would have said I was staying for my eldest daughter and because my son likes it here. Recently however I have become more and more depressed at living here to the point that I know for my own sake that I must leave regardless.

We are planning our move for early next year but I may go early to try and secure a job.

I agree that NZ changes you - I am not particularly outdoorsy especially in native bush that is devoid of all wildlife. I hate the hunting mentality and really feel that the life has been sucked out of me.

I also find all the weather talk here annoying and it's not like anything different is happening whatever the weather.

I almost lost the plot completely at the weekend.

I am likening it recently to almost a feeling of claustrophobia - desperate to get out but nowhere to go.

So really I guess my answer is nothing!

kodachrome

Choccie, Im interested in learning more about your issues with the place, can I pick your brains?

Hunting Mentality? What do you mean and how has that sucked life out of you?

Isnt that the same everywhere? Sounds more like the whole package isnt fitting with you any longer (Im not judging, but that example wouldnt obviously even be on the radar as a legitimate, leaving country level compliant). Its been hotter here than literally ever and the entire 2wks people bitched how they wished it would rain again, which it does for near 50wks a year. Idiots.
Dont leave us hanging!?
Where would you go instead? Why did you leave home for Nz and what would your specific aims be in a new place?

Tom1983

Nah that's ok

I have a 20 minute commute in the car although I do wish the public transport was better in Christchurch. When the building is open, i'll be back to my hour strolls to work. It's different than being stuck at junction 5-7 on the M25 for 3 hours, or being a squashed potato on the C2C or Underground commuting to the city. Oh the joys of being stuck in a tunnel for 4 hours on a hot summers day surrounded by people that haven't got a clue what soap is. There were many times a 90 minute journey by car or a 50 minute train/tube journey would take more than 3 hours - not forgetting one of my final days in England, getting home at 3am after leaving at 5pm, thanks to a lorry carrying oil crashing in the middle barrier, causing a huge spill.

I could go on about the wonderful weather but that may cause Snap Shot to pull her hair out . Although I do not like the powerful sun rays here. Everytime I'm outside on a sunny day for longer than 4 hours, I get a very bad headache. Yes I do drink plenty of water on a round of golf, wear a hat and suncream. I never had headaches when out in the sun back home although then again that was a rare event

It's nice to see a comment like that about redundancies. Apparently because my IT work has been in finance, I deserve to be made redundant since it's my fault that the UK is in a mess. Well that's according to the utter deluded prats at UK Uncut. I can't say the same with Unions because Unite were fantastic during my redundancies. I'll happily join them again if we do return, but they'll never have any of my fees being agreed to the political party fund tick box.

Another thing to add about not wanting to leave is that we have a son and I see a better up bringing here than I do back in England.

Snap Shot

Yeah, I felt that way in Christchurch March in 2011. I used to wake in the morning thinking, 'oh God, we're not still here are we ?'

We bailed out of Christchurch to Wanganui a couple of years ago. The feeling of claustrophobia has gone. However, I'm still counting the days as a coping strategy. It's 36 days until we've been in NZ for two and a half years. It's then 6 months until we've been here 3 years. In 2014, the next time it's an even year in the decade, we will review our stay/go options.

Snap Shot

What are you telling me Tom ? Alright, keep your hair on ? Well, go on then seeing as it's you !

M_and_M

Choccie

Hi Kodachrome - feel free to pick away.

I possibly wasn't very clear I didn't mean that the hunting mentality had sucked the life out of me. They are two separate issues.
With regards to the hunting I find it abhorrent that people feel it is OK to take small children hunting. The hunting for possums and then dressing them up for school fundraising is also to me completely revolting. These opinions make me some sort of a freak here so have to be kept under wraps.

I feel as if the life has been sucked out of me as I am unable to be myself and I no longer feel as I should do. I have no Kiwi friends we have no social life and in general life is just very lonely.

I almost lost the plot because it sometimes I feel like I just need to go out and do something but alas nothing on offer.

I guess you can only keep things under wraps for so long before it starts eating away at you.

davros1984

Hmm - the hunting issue is very divisive. I am actually on the pro-hunt side of things, not that I go hunting myself, but because I know how important it is to a lot of people in the countryside (and family), both as an activity but more importantly for the pest control and employment it brings (More of a UK issue). It is in my opinion that in NZ (in comparison to the UK) men on the whole have more of a say, so I guess your statement about hunting is somewhat true as it is more of a "masculine" thing.

Not what I really want to reply to you about, so moving on... whereabouts in NZ are you? I do relate to how you feel, I feel quite constrained sometimes - i.e. I want to do something but do not know what to do - and I miss my friends. This comes and goes though and I find that just taking myself out of the house (with the Mrs), just going to the beach for instance - like last weekend, it makes a huge different and you realise how lucky you are to be able to go to the beach in winter!

I do have a lot of lonely time here, I haven't made many friends (my partner has through work), but I work in IT - so enough said really. I'm using the spare time - as discussed in another post to run a part-time business, to study for exams and to just read and educate myself. I am off to see the big Semi-Final in the Tron this weekend .

Ultimately if you're really not happy deep down - you should go home. But at least realistically list why you'd be happier at home. I find these forums a great way to let out frustration sometimes and just talk about and whine about issues that annoy you like you would with friends at the pub at home!

Choccie

We are about an hour outside of the centre of CHC. I guess the fact that that is all there is doesn't help!

I agree with you that NZ has a more masculine voice. When we were buying our first place here the real estate agents/lawyers would only ever talk to hubby! I also find the female population to be a lot more outspoken than I am. (Not all of them by any means just an observation)

I guess I have just got to the stage where everyday something else happens to highlight the differences and things that make me feel like an outsider.

Anyway onwards and upwards I guess.

Assanah

what makes you stay in NZ

-----
Nothing really except the dread of being unemployed again and having to look for jobs during difficult economic times in Europe.

Hazelnut

I live in a very rural area in the north of the UK and, for many of the issues people talk about, you could be talking about where I live now. We've given up on having me take vehicles to the garage or being in for discussing building work for example as the men (and it's invariably men, I've never met a female mechanic or plasterer or electrician in 20yrs of living here) always talk condescendingly to me and then either don't come back or give a quote that's way more than the quote that husband is given if he meets with them.

The hunting, shooting, joy in killing thing is prevalent round my way too. I wonder if it's just a natural side effect of living in a less industrialised and urban environment.

It does all make me think I'd perhaps adapt to living in NZ but then I do find these attitudes frustrating where I live now, would they be even worse over there. I guess I won't know until we visit.

paddy234

Judging from alot of people many will be happy to return to the UK. Do they forget why they wanted to leave the UK, so much so that it was worth the risk leaving or is it simply a case of the grass not being greener which is what they expected? Just wondering as i really am trying to grasp what to expect so i don't go with rose tinted glasses. I'm only going over with WHV however depending on how i feel and with work i might try for residency after a couple of year's

JaneRiley

I think that a lot of people leave the UK for NZ not to escape anything but to try something new and have an 'adventure'. We certainly did. We were happy with life and thought we could be equally happy in NZ but I'm afraid nothing could have prepared me for the crippling homesickness I got. In NZ I was lucky enough to get a job really quickly and my husband had one before we left UK which gave us permanent residency. I enjoyed my job and had some lovely colleagues but I just could not settle. So after 2 and a bit years we came back. With hindsight maybe I just needed a holiday. My OH did not want to return but caved in as he could see I was going nuts.
Now we have a house and jobs in UK. However we aren't settled here either and 2 years on we are looking for something else. I think the NZ experience changed us. We have even thought about returning but everything I read is a bit depressing. Does absence make the heart grow stronger?

dannigirl

I think a lot of people on here are not really honest about why they left the UK. Most people say they left for the adventure. I mean, REALLY!? Maybe for some, but there are an awful lot of people that say this. I think lots of people thought that NZ would offer them a better life, nothing wrong with that. But for lots of people it has not lived up to the hype, or they feel they don't fit in and can't fit in with kiwi culture. It really is very different here, lots of great stuff to take advantage of, but lots of struggles to be had especially financially if you underestimate the high cost of living. There is nothing wrong with needing a break from the UK, get out of the ratrace for a bit, i think it makes some people appreciate the UK/Europe and all they offer all the more.

I don't think you can EVER predict how you will feel when you move here as it is so different actually living here full time as opposed to holiday. And I say that as a kiwi!

I think your plan sounds perfect, keep your options open!