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-   -   What do you do when you get homesick? (https://britishexpats.com/forum/new-zealand-83/what-do-you-do-when-you-get-homesick-694458/)

zoexr Nov 22nd 2010 8:10 pm

What do you do when you get homesick?
 
Fighting homesickness a bit at the moment. A few tears in countdown car park :unsure:(and not because of their low prices!!) and just wondered what everyone else did in teary times?

MnB Nov 22nd 2010 9:37 pm

Re: What do you do when you get homesick?
 

Originally Posted by zoexr (Post 8997639)
Fighting homesickness a bit at the moment. A few tears in countdown car park :unsure:(and not because of their low prices!!) and just wondered what everyone else did in teary times?

Cried....cried......& cried:(......eventually talked about it.......made a decision ....booked flights, turned shipment around (undelivered :o), had a wonderful holiday on the Cooks ....then came home :thumbsup:
TBH the worst time was before the tears came.....feeling so miserable and not admitting / knowing why. Hope you feel better soon and do what ever is right for you & yours :lol:

Lynda63 Nov 22nd 2010 9:50 pm

Re: What do you do when you get homesick?
 
Been here nine years and still homesick.

I have two grown up children who have left home and live in other areas of NZ. We hardly see them any more and feel very alone. They were fourteen and eleven when we emigrated.

My advice to anyone with kids is if you're thinking of returning, do it before they are grown up.

Sorry not much help on the homesickness advice required it does pass, its just that I have never really felt that NZ is my home.

ble Nov 22nd 2010 10:55 pm

Re: What do you do when you get homesick?
 

Originally Posted by zoexr (Post 8997639)
Fighting homesickness a bit at the moment. A few tears in countdown car park :unsure:(and not because of their low prices!!) and just wondered what everyone else did in teary times?

Had a good cry, and talked it through with OH. Then kept going with the daily grind.

I accepted that homesickness was going to be a big part of things (although I come from here originally I had made my home in the UK> Loved it, so I got reverse culture shock big time.)

Waited for a while and fought through each bout that came = heck I was in tears the other day driving home from the school run.


But the big thing for me, was accepting that this didn't have to be forever.
As long as I gave it my all, and gave it time, if I still wanted to go home then we would when the time was right.

Nothing is set in stone (a great saying my oh grandad used to tell us). And it isn't.

Knowing that I could go back at some stage (obviously with OH and children in tow) allowed me to deal with life here.
And now 4 yrs on, we are making plans to move back next year.

Expat Kiwi Nov 22nd 2010 11:23 pm

Re: What do you do when you get homesick?
 

Originally Posted by zoexr (Post 8997639)
Fighting homesickness a bit at the moment. A few tears in countdown car park :unsure:(and not because of their low prices!!) and just wondered what everyone else did in teary times?

There's nothing like a trip home you get your head straight about why you emigrated in the first place. It helps to get things in perspective and also fills that need to touch base again. Are you able to make a visit back?

zoexr Nov 23rd 2010 12:39 am

Re: What do you do when you get homesick?
 

Originally Posted by Expat Kiwi (Post 8998005)
There's nothing like a trip home you get your head straight about why you emigrated in the first place. It helps to get things in perspective and also fills that need to touch base again. Are you able to make a visit back?

Not yet!! I've ony been here 3 months and knew it would come. I know talking to my family would make me worse, so i avoid that in sad times! Its not that I want to go back, I think I just want my life and secuirity here!

isheps84 Nov 23rd 2010 1:55 am

Re: What do you do when you get homesick?
 
Try watching corrie or a bit of eastenders for 10 mins, that should do the trick :thumbsup:

Stormer999 Nov 23rd 2010 12:02 pm

Re: What do you do when you get homesick?
 

Originally Posted by isheps84 (Post 8998232)
Try watching corrie or a bit of eastenders for 10 mins, that should do the trick :thumbsup:

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Sherlock Holmes Nov 23rd 2010 12:06 pm

Re: What do you do when you get homesick?
 
Remember how lucky you are. ;)

bunnyphobia Nov 23rd 2010 5:38 pm

Re: What do you do when you get homesick?
 
Sorry to hear you're still suffering from homesickness, Zoe. Can't be much fun. Although there does seem to be a repeated connection to Countdown? (I also want to cry when I go there, most times. But that's for other reasons).

Are you homesick because you're missing the delights of the UK, or homesick because you're missing friends and family? I understand the latter; I keep wishing I could share my experiences with people. That would make it perfect. I'm not sure how you can counter-act homesickness, except to be patient and to keep busy...Sorry I can't offer any useful advice

:)

Bikerhippychick Nov 24th 2010 1:01 am

Re: What do you do when you get homesick?
 
I occasionally suffer from homesickness, I miss my family sometimes. I find the best way to deal with it is to get out and see my kiwi friends, have a barbie, go to the beach, or walk in the woods, and remember the reasons why I came here in the first place! The clean open air, the laid back lazy driving in the country, seeing my kids playing outside, riding my horse. Get out and do some of your favourite things, and mix with your friends to take your mind off it. I'm sure all expats get homesick at one time or another, but it does get better with time. Hope that helps.

bevissa65 Nov 24th 2010 2:16 am

Re: What do you do when you get homesick?
 
have to say I don't get homesick very often but if I do I remember why we came here in the first place and head down to the beach. A sit and look out to Rangitoto Island always does it for me :D Or I look at my daughter enjoying her new kiwi life :thumbsup: Hope it soon passes for you, Bevissa

weejie Nov 24th 2010 3:03 am

Re: What do you do when you get homesick?
 
I still have my "moments"; that's what OH calls it when he finds me in floods of tears saying I want a hug from my mum!:o

I miss my family soooo much BUT I look at the life we have here,how much my kids have blossomed and the things we do as a family we never had the time or opportunity to do in UK and I remember why we moved here. Also my parents tell me every week how I made the right decision and how they can see the boys have grown in confidence and obviously love it here.

All I can say is it does get better. I have been here 17 months and the "moments" still happen,but not as often as when I first arrived. And BE helps lots.

Phyl x

lisamct Nov 24th 2010 3:38 am

Re: What do you do when you get homesick?
 
I think dealing with homesickness is really difficult.
In the UK if I was feeling miserable, for whatever reason, there were always people that you could rely on to cheer you up, who knew you well enough to tell you to 'man up' and cheer you up with a coffee, shopping session, gin and tonic or just a shoulder to cry on!
But here so far, certainly for me, those people don't really exist yet so its hard to find an 'outlet' for how your feeling. Having only been here a few months and having just a few new friends it doesn't feel 'right' to go to them when they don't really know me well or know the people and places that I'm missing at home.

I really don't have an answer. When I get really homesick I just try to remember the positive stuff I came here for and the negative stuff I left behind. I've been lucky in a way that in the UK I was unemployed, lived in a small one bedroom flat in a town full of scumbags and junkies whilst here I have a full time job that I love, a nice 3 bedroom house and live in what I think is a nice town as long as you dont mind the occasional whiff of sulphur!
I also always keep in mind that if it gets too bad I can always go home, either for a visit or for good (my credit card may self combust but I'd just have to deal with that at the time!)

Fooferfish Nov 24th 2010 5:51 pm

Re: What do you do when you get homesick?
 
It should be renamed ( Family sickness ) because thats what 99% of us miss, once you have got over the honeymoon period of every thing in NZ is beautiful and awesome, you suddenly realise how far the UK is away !! We have been here nearly 6 years now, and we recon the first 2 years are the hardest in all ways!. We found that if you get out and see as much of your surroundings, meet new folk and youll soon realise why you came here, its a tough time those initial years.

I remember my first year and one day i was installing a wood fire into a house, when i dropped the flue through the roof and it landed on the new fire, that day it all came to the surface, what with damage to the fire and having to work on my own, i sat in my van and cried:o:( Mad ay ? I took a deep breath, knew we could not just go back to UK and had to give it our best shot, we had nothing in UK apart from family, so we soldier'd on.

My wife cried the first few nights, just after we had arrived, we rented my boss's crib in a small village, it was mid winter and the sheets on the beds were cotton, one fire in the whole house, which we didnt know how to get going and keep going , smile about it now ! But those nights were freezing, and my wife used to cry herself to sleep. Once we had our own house, things got better, your own space and furniture.

You will look back on this in a few years time and say " what was that all about ? " .

Good luck with it all, it will pass.

Nige, in the Wop Wops


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