darbydoo

Happy new year to you all!

We have just three weeks left in the UK and beginning to be a bit freaked out by the whole thing. Moving to auckland, where my brother has also lived for 3 years.

Having spent a lovely Christmas at home with my parents and family/friends, I can't help wondering if we are doing the right thing! There is no turning back for us now, and deep down I know we will love it there... But I think saying goodbye to everyone is going to be awful. Due to the madness of the last 2-3 months with visas, shipping and the house, it's kind of only just dawned on me how much we are leaving here.

Also getting worried about fitting into our new workplaces and neighbourhoods and adjusting to such a big change in general.

Is this normal? Would like to hear your experiences.

Justcol

I never understand when people get all flustered about leaving
You've known the day will come for long enough so why get worked up now.
Its no different to just moving house to a new area in the UK or just changing jobs
I don't want to sound harsh but just get on with it.

MrsFychan

I'm not sure as my experience probably was a bit unique in the fact that we had to spend the last 2 weeks living at my In Laws and they mightily pissed me off during the last few days so was beyond relieved when they dropped us off and left the air port.
May I just say they are lovely people on the whole but I felt that they let me down and made some things I had planned to do more difficult then it needed to be in the last week, so was angry and just wanted out.

The nerves you are feeling are natural, just go with it, as Justcol says, albeit in his own way , its the same as moving to a different area/job just further away and a bit more expensive.

Snap Shot

Once we had sold our house we had lost our 'anchor'. We planned to stay with my Dad for six weeks prior to leaving. We were still working out our notices at work for five of those six weeks. I couldn't believe how much my Dad let us down and we ended up staying at an old school friend's place for the last 2 weeks prior to leaving.

No one else understands or really cares how much stress and uncertainty you are feeling. They just assume it's one big exciting adventure. Lucky you.

The final week before we left I remember abject boredom. Nothing to do. No job. No home. Our belongings were en-route as sea cargo bound for Christchurch, New Zealand. Our car had no MOT and the locks did not work. We were just mooching round my old home town counting the hours that made up the days, willing the time away.

All I could really think of was, 'come on, let's get it over with.' It had been so long in the planning and we'd neatly finished up our lives in Britain that, like you, all there was to do was execute the plan. I actually felt quite matter of fact about it.

My husband's Expression of Interest for a job at Christchurch City Council had been accepted.

The very next day we got a text from his sister who lives in NZ advising us of the Christchurch earthquake.

We retuned to my Dad's house for farewell brunch as was planned. Then the taxi came to take us to the airport. Whilst in the taxi, as the drizzle fell on the already wet roads the refrain, 'could have had it all' from the Adele song, 'Rolling in the deep' was going round and round in my head.

Little did I realise that more shit was yet to come on arrival in Auckland and then Christchurch and that small town New Zealand in the form of a town called Wanganui would be our salvation.

Good luck mate. I sort of envy people who emigrate on the strength of a job offer. Their move seems neat and clean. They have certainties. Although realistically, in my view that's only a small percentage of the whole story.

Don't have any expectations. Take it on its own terms. Don't have any preconceived ideas. Your emotions may be nearer the surface just because everything is changing. Other people around you in NZ are settled and won't really care that you've just turned up.

SSky

Excited and happy :-)

LauraNotts

I think a mixture of excitement, nerves and frequently questioning my own sanity. It was and continues to be worth it though. Good luck

Perry Groves

Excited mostly. I had been feeling disillusioned for a number of years, so really it was only the people who were left behind that I was worried about missing. That was, and continues to be, the biggest challenge.

jmh

I was absolutely exhausted with packing, throwing stuff out, cleaning and sorting out rental issues. Added to stress levels, I felt highly strung.

It wasn't so bad for me because I was going to family. I was also treating it as a trial and had decided I could come back if I didn't like it.

When my mum saw me at Auckland airport she forbade me from looking for work until I had recovered. Fortunately I didn't have to pay rent, which helped.

Chocoholics

I swung from being really excited and just wanting to leave to totally freaking out! It was just before Christmas after we packed up and we were just waiting in limbo to fly to NZ - really weird - like we were looking from the outside in at all the celebrations going on. All turned out good though, we are still in NZ after 6 years.

barnsleymat

I had a really rough couple of weeks before leaving, all I kept thinking about was how I'd be saying goodbye to people I'd probably never see again, it turned me into a blubbering wreck. It turns out I was right to think what I did, I did say goodbye to people for the last time. I'm going home for a visit in July and I can't bloody wait, unfortunately as I said, not everyone I said goodbye to will be there.

Some people find it really easy to leave everyone behind, not me!!!

Stormer999

Years of careful planning complete and totally looking forward to a new future. Saying goodbye to daughter not nice but as Justcol has said when you move you move just the distance varies the packing is the same. Going back next year for a visit but I will make sure it is as brief as I can. I should have made this move years ago...

Justcol

I've been back 3 times in 7 years

1) After marriage break up (I need a hug from my mum) and for a family wedding
2) to introduce new kiwi partner (now wife) to the family
3) Family funeral

1st time was on my own and it was nice to see the few good old friends who I had known for decades
but after a night with them all in the pub I realised I was the only who had changed anything in our lives
It was nice being the centre of attention for a few hours but after that I felt pretty flat for the rest of the time
I was there and just wanted to come home.

2nd time, the uk was only part of a larger european trip and I only got through the uk section of it because it
was nice showing my wife to be all the touristy stuff.

3rd time, not great circumstances but I was over the place withing hours of arriving. I felt like a visitor from
another planet, so detached from everything and annoyed at the grubbiness and shallowness of the place and people

The wife wants to go back again for another holiday but I want to avoid the place like the plague.
After almost 7 years in NZ I have nothing in common with the british outlook or way of life

darbydoo

Thanks for all of your replies, I've really enjoyed reading them and am feeling much more excited now as a result. Some wise words here!

I'm getting annoyed with the UK even before I've left, it's just family
And friends that will make it harder to leave. But those who count will
Obviously stay in touch

I too am running the risk of never seeing people again, like grandparents, but they are very supportive and can't see any fault in what we are doing. I guess it's just one of those things. There will always be a reason not to go away, so just trying not to think of these things.

Think I was a bit emotional when I wrote the original post as it was just after xmas, but feeling more settled now.

We are in a good position having both secured jobs, and a free place to live for a few weeks with my brother. So time to look forward

Pigdog

Me and husband left the UK nine weeks ago. Emotional wreck when I left, spent the last three days in tears, due to stress, leaving family, friends and our dogs.
I do miss family but Skype is great, probably talk more now than I did when I was in the UK.
It has been a bit hard but I think that is because we are still waiting for our furniture. I know it sounds stupid, but having sat on deckchairs for the past 9 weeks does grind you down. There's nothing like home comforts.
Work - I work with more foreigners than Kiwis. They all know what you are going through as they have also been there. They have all been a great support.
Neighbourhood - love it. Living in a small village, everyone says hello, waves and smiles.

Not going to lie, you're going to feel like shit and question yourself every day. It's only been 9 weeks for us but I wouldn't change a thing. I love it here. So glad we made the move. Yes it's hard but it's certainly worth it.

Good luck � ����

darbydoo

I know what you mean about home comforts. We haven't shipped much furniture (apart from the bed) as ours was a bit worn, but we have sent quite a lot of stuff that will make it feel like home. Silly things like decorations etc mostly. I know that will help. Hopefully your shipment will arrive soon and you'll start to feel better!

Did you rehome your dogs? That's another thing - we've recently rehomed our cats and that was very upsetting. But i know it's right thing to do and would rather do that than see them going to a shelter.

I finish my job next friday, where I've been for 8 years - so that's going to be an emotional one too.

Fun and games eh?