We're moving back to Blighty
Sep 6th 2012, 9:14 am
#16
you dewty owld maan!
Joined: Oct 2005
Location: is practically perfect in every way
Posts: 5,565
Re: We're moving back to Blighty
the joys of family life, but at least they will have some space being wealthier and all
this should allow you to settle back into routine over there.
the very best of luck H, really hope all goes well for you and enjoy the ongoing experience of being an itinerant Brit/Kiwi/Aussie, no doubt we will see you back here at some stage.
and thanks for all of your support and advice down the years.
big question: will we hear from you on BE after the move.....?
Sep 6th 2012, 10:51 am
#17
Forum Regular
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 177
Re: We're moving back to Blighty
Admire your decision as it must have been difficult after 6 years. But I can see why you are going back. It is the family and friends that my daughter and I miss so much. We have been here since April 2007 and although they say 'home is where you make it', we have both found it really hard to make friends here. We wouldn't / couldn't go back to UK as we have no finance left even to go back for a holiday at this time. We both own our houses here but even if we sold them, we would not have enough to get back on the property ladder there again. Her two daughters love it here and one will be going to Uni in Feb. We do get the odd visitor from UK which is great but like you, just wish my family and friends could come here to live!!! I wish you all the very best with your move back and enjoy your family again.
Sep 6th 2012, 1:28 pm
#18
Just Joined
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 11
Re: We're moving back to Blighty
Might or might not be for a long time.
Nothing particularly wrong with NZ- there's stuff that frustrates and disappoints me but that's the same as anywhere- just we decided a while back that on balance we'd rather the kids were a more present part of their wider family (that is growing by the year) than that they/we had a big house and garden and long summers. Once we realised that we just felt calmly sure that it was time to take them back. Our decision has been strengthened by weddings they are absent from and the births of little cousins they've never met. We have everything we wanted when we came here and we enjoy NZ hugely, but it's not enough long term to be so far from family for.
I know some people will say "what a huge surprise, we never thought you were unhappy", but that's because we haven't been unhappy with NZ. If our family all moved out here, then on balance I'd say here is where I'd rather be. However, after six years I think I can safely say none of our family are planning to move here and the only ones visiting with any regularity are the wealthier inlaws, and the kids are slowly losing their relationships with all the others. Having made the decision there's plenty to be excited about (as well as anxious).
Our older daughter is just a few years from uni, so we'll head back in time for UK unis to be an option for her if she chooses. 3/4 of us have citizenship, I have to make do with IRRV, but such is life!
Once we made the decision we looked at what we'd need to do to achieve it, where we'd need to make compromises and where we weren't prepared to compromise. We're going to have a bit of a battle getting the older one into the most local and preferred school, but there are other decent options nearby.
We're moving to near Lyme Regis
I know some folk will read this with envy, some will read it with incredulity- that's ok; we're all different and enjoy different things. I didn't leave the UK because I hated it and I'm not moving somewhere dire. I'm not leaving NZ cos I hate it either- I just know that's going to fry some of the black-and-white thinkers on here's brains
Keeping options open for the middle to far future though, because I suspect when the kids are much older NZ may well be somewhere they'd like to raise their own families- they've loved their lives here, though both cried with happiness when we told them. They are lucky to be part of a large family that love them.
If you're reading this and thinking "wish we could", I can tell you that my husband and I are making huge career, lifestyle and equity sacrifices to make this happen, so this isn't us in a lucky or lush situation.
Nothing particularly wrong with NZ- there's stuff that frustrates and disappoints me but that's the same as anywhere- just we decided a while back that on balance we'd rather the kids were a more present part of their wider family (that is growing by the year) than that they/we had a big house and garden and long summers. Once we realised that we just felt calmly sure that it was time to take them back. Our decision has been strengthened by weddings they are absent from and the births of little cousins they've never met. We have everything we wanted when we came here and we enjoy NZ hugely, but it's not enough long term to be so far from family for.
I know some people will say "what a huge surprise, we never thought you were unhappy", but that's because we haven't been unhappy with NZ. If our family all moved out here, then on balance I'd say here is where I'd rather be. However, after six years I think I can safely say none of our family are planning to move here and the only ones visiting with any regularity are the wealthier inlaws, and the kids are slowly losing their relationships with all the others. Having made the decision there's plenty to be excited about (as well as anxious).
Our older daughter is just a few years from uni, so we'll head back in time for UK unis to be an option for her if she chooses. 3/4 of us have citizenship, I have to make do with IRRV, but such is life!
Once we made the decision we looked at what we'd need to do to achieve it, where we'd need to make compromises and where we weren't prepared to compromise. We're going to have a bit of a battle getting the older one into the most local and preferred school, but there are other decent options nearby.
We're moving to near Lyme Regis
I know some folk will read this with envy, some will read it with incredulity- that's ok; we're all different and enjoy different things. I didn't leave the UK because I hated it and I'm not moving somewhere dire. I'm not leaving NZ cos I hate it either- I just know that's going to fry some of the black-and-white thinkers on here's brains
Keeping options open for the middle to far future though, because I suspect when the kids are much older NZ may well be somewhere they'd like to raise their own families- they've loved their lives here, though both cried with happiness when we told them. They are lucky to be part of a large family that love them.
If you're reading this and thinking "wish we could", I can tell you that my husband and I are making huge career, lifestyle and equity sacrifices to make this happen, so this isn't us in a lucky or lush situation.
I can relate to every word of your post. We are in stage one of moving back which means I am in England with my youngest..my job is to settle him into his last year of primary school. Hubby and eldest (17) still in NZ whilst eldest finishes exams and the house sells. I personally think you are doing the right thing. You have to go with your heart, and like you, after 6 years, I just knew for sure what I wanted to do.. My hubby took a bit more convincing but I think that one of us had to grow some balls and make the decision instead of continuing to umm and ahh about it and continue to stick our heads in the sand.
All the very best..it won't be easy but home is where the heart is, not the scenery.
When are you planning on putting the first wheels into motion?
Sep 6th 2012, 4:12 pm
#19
HAPPY AS...
Joined: May 2006
Location: Taupo
Posts: 1,068
Re: We're moving back to Blighty
At least BB and fella made a genuine mutual decision.
The last two couples we know to go back on just one of their's behest are no longer couples.
The last two couples we know to go back on just one of their's behest are no longer couples.
Sep 6th 2012, 5:51 pm
#20
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,285
Re: We're moving back to Blighty
Well the worst thing about being back in Blighty is the inferior latte coffee tbh. I am drinking less as harder to find to my exacting standards
.
The tea and scones are good here though.
Everything else (for me) is fine and dandy and I have had to locate to a different area of UK for OH's job, so am still a long way from relatives but of course nowhere near as far away and isolated as in NZ. Major plus is we are buying another house, so I am no longer in corporate rental. That unsettled feeling should go away from that factor alone.
Kids have gone into state sector schools and so far so good. You know this but just like you look at decile in NZ, you look at Ofsted reports and exam performance in UK, be willing to travel out of catchment area and you will probably find a school you are happy with somehow. If they have a space, they have to take you 'out of catchment'...rural areas tend to have good comps as the private schools are too far away for daily travel.
At least in the South you will get better UK weather than we will likely get on the whole but again it really isn't important to me. It's nice not having to constantly wear a sunhat because of those fierce rays and I also have felt very at ease knowing I have escaped earth tremors and I wasn't even in Christchurch.
Very best wishes with it all - I have stayed away from media really but people everywhere have been great. In 3 months have had one rude taxi driver and that's all that is negative to report. So I would say in my experience, it definitely isn't all Daily Fail 'gone to the dogs' but then I never thought it was anyway.
The historic architecture is to die for after NZ. I am still enjoying supermarkets immensely re the massive choice and low prices.
Sorry if this sounds smug and I am making people envious but I am trying to reassure Bourbon.
I'm beginning to wonder if all the regular posters on this forum will all eventually end up going back to UK....me, Shirl, that guy in Petone, Nelsonpom etc etc. I suppose after a while if people are truly happy, they stop posting anyway.
Despite being at opposite ends of UK, if it helps, I have seen more of my Mum and Dad in the last 3 months than in the whole of our time in NZ. They have already re-connected with their grandchildren and that makes me very happy
. Go Blighty!
.The tea and scones are good here though.
Everything else (for me) is fine and dandy and I have had to locate to a different area of UK for OH's job, so am still a long way from relatives but of course nowhere near as far away and isolated as in NZ. Major plus is we are buying another house, so I am no longer in corporate rental. That unsettled feeling should go away from that factor alone.
Kids have gone into state sector schools and so far so good. You know this but just like you look at decile in NZ, you look at Ofsted reports and exam performance in UK, be willing to travel out of catchment area and you will probably find a school you are happy with somehow. If they have a space, they have to take you 'out of catchment'...rural areas tend to have good comps as the private schools are too far away for daily travel.
At least in the South you will get better UK weather than we will likely get on the whole but again it really isn't important to me. It's nice not having to constantly wear a sunhat because of those fierce rays and I also have felt very at ease knowing I have escaped earth tremors and I wasn't even in Christchurch.
Very best wishes with it all - I have stayed away from media really but people everywhere have been great. In 3 months have had one rude taxi driver and that's all that is negative to report. So I would say in my experience, it definitely isn't all Daily Fail 'gone to the dogs' but then I never thought it was anyway.
The historic architecture is to die for after NZ. I am still enjoying supermarkets immensely re the massive choice and low prices.
Sorry if this sounds smug and I am making people envious but I am trying to reassure Bourbon.
I'm beginning to wonder if all the regular posters on this forum will all eventually end up going back to UK....me, Shirl, that guy in Petone, Nelsonpom etc etc. I suppose after a while if people are truly happy, they stop posting anyway.
Despite being at opposite ends of UK, if it helps, I have seen more of my Mum and Dad in the last 3 months than in the whole of our time in NZ. They have already re-connected with their grandchildren and that makes me very happy
. Go Blighty!
Sep 6th 2012, 7:25 pm
#21
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 696
Re: We're moving back to Blighty
Wowsers BB - that is epic! Brilliant news for you and your family. It will be so wonderful to be near family again for you all. Absolutely wishing you all the best, it will be worth it.
Please keep us updated, it will be wonderful to hear all about your ongoing journey back to Blighty.
Please keep us updated, it will be wonderful to hear all about your ongoing journey back to Blighty.
Sep 6th 2012, 7:42 pm
#22
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2009
Location: Torbay, North Shore
Posts: 744
Re: We're moving back to Blighty
wishing you all the best we will not be far behind you, not sure when exactly but in the next 18 months and as we have family fairly dispersed anywhere some of Brum is fine!
Sep 7th 2012, 3:25 am
#23
grumpy bugger
Joined: Sep 2011
Location: out there...... somewhere
Posts: 368
Re: We're moving back to Blighty
so it is just me that doesnt see what all the fus about the coffee over here is about.
MMMmmmm new thread time methinks
MMMmmmm new thread time methinks
Sep 7th 2012, 4:45 am
#24
`
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 38,613
Re: We're moving back to Blighty
All the very best to you and yours with this next phase of your family lives. I'm sure there was a huge amount of soul-searching and common sense discussion that went into this before the decision was made & I'm equally sure that your children and you are going to love your time there, with extended family, for however long you stay.
Lyme Regis and area is rather lovely IMO but then I would say that as a South-West girly.
Staying with the out-laws?
You're a much braver woman that I Gunga Din. 
Lyme Regis and area is rather lovely IMO but then I would say that as a South-West girly.
Staying with the out-laws?
You're a much braver woman that I Gunga Din.
Sep 7th 2012, 9:17 am
#25
Just Joined
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 11
Re: We're moving back to Blighty
I have also been overwhelmed at how supportive and positive people have been on this forum with regards to us making the move back..until now. What a negative and snide comment to make.
Sep 7th 2012, 11:00 am
#26
---
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 2,994
Re: We're moving back to Blighty
I'm not sure s/he was directing that at you, Pommychic ...
Sep 7th 2012, 11:22 am
#27
It is what it is Member
Joined: Feb 2010
Location: Blockhouse Bay, Auckland
Posts: 2,797
Re: We're moving back to Blighty
And how the heck do you know that our decision wasn't genuine and mutual? Not that its any of your business, but our decision to move back was based on a mutual pact that we made 6 years ago when we came to NZ that if either one of us was unhappy or unsettled, we would move back. We have a family network of support behind us and also, I might add, a happy and rock solid marriage.
I have also been overwhelmed at how supportive and positive people have been on this forum with regards to us making the move back..until now. What a negative and snide comment to make.
I have also been overwhelmed at how supportive and positive people have been on this forum with regards to us making the move back..until now. What a negative and snide comment to make.
Sep 7th 2012, 11:42 am
#28
Queen of the Underworld
Joined: Dec 2007
Location: In NZ!
Posts: 4,785
Re: We're moving back to Blighty
All the best with the move BB
You must do what feels right for you and yours. Stay on here and let us know how you get on. Life is an adventure, you only get one!
Best wishes Px
You must do what feels right for you and yours. Stay on here and let us know how you get on. Life is an adventure, you only get one!
Best wishes Px
Sep 7th 2012, 5:17 pm
#29
Joined: May 2009
Location: Welly UK to Welly NZ to Welly UK
Posts: 2,227
Re: We're moving back to Blighty
Hi BB
I did n't spend as long in NZ as you have and our 'children' are all grown up and choose to stay in the UK, so the 'pull' back to the UK for me was for different reasons but we came 'home' to the South West, not too many miles from Lyme Bay, and I certainly have no regrets about that or the time we spent in NZ.
It was always a 'dream' that one day we would give NZ a go (OH was born there but grew up in UK)and it took a lot of money and travelling to discover that my roots are well and truly 'bedded' in this beautiful part of England. Coming home was like slipping my feet into a comfy pair of slippers!
Yes, the weather can be awful but it can also be gorgeous....just like it is now!
NZ definitely made me 'know' myself better and appreciate the fact that we could choose to come back and know that we could return to NZ for holidays when 'the itch' raised it head again....in the meantime we are able to enjoy Greece and the Canaries with flight prices low enough to be able to afford at least 3 visits a year. ( £103 each for Canaries next April inc leg room seats and luggage form Bristol)
Sorry for rambling on a bit!!! I really only wanted to wish you, and anyone else that's decided to come 'home' all the best and good on you for following your hearts!
B
I did n't spend as long in NZ as you have and our 'children' are all grown up and choose to stay in the UK, so the 'pull' back to the UK for me was for different reasons but we came 'home' to the South West, not too many miles from Lyme Bay, and I certainly have no regrets about that or the time we spent in NZ.
It was always a 'dream' that one day we would give NZ a go (OH was born there but grew up in UK)and it took a lot of money and travelling to discover that my roots are well and truly 'bedded' in this beautiful part of England. Coming home was like slipping my feet into a comfy pair of slippers!
Yes, the weather can be awful but it can also be gorgeous....just like it is now!
NZ definitely made me 'know' myself better and appreciate the fact that we could choose to come back and know that we could return to NZ for holidays when 'the itch' raised it head again....in the meantime we are able to enjoy Greece and the Canaries with flight prices low enough to be able to afford at least 3 visits a year. ( £103 each for Canaries next April inc leg room seats and luggage form Bristol
)Sorry for rambling on a bit!!! I really only wanted to wish you, and anyone else that's decided to come 'home' all the best and good on you for following your hearts!
B
Sep 7th 2012, 10:56 pm
#30
`
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 38,613
Re: We're moving back to Blighty
Funnily enough I know of a pair of expats out in the hills who are also planning on a UK return. They also cite about losing the real connection with family they love BB. They have grown children back in the UK about ready to start a family, so that's the pull . Their family will not come to NZ to live because it simply isn't for them.
They didn't leave the UK to escape the place & won't be leaving NZ to escape this place either.
They have no regrets about having lived here but are now ready & happy to follow their hearts .
Last edited by BEVS; Sep 7th 2012 at 11:05 pm.