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Well this has caught me by surprise !!

Well this has caught me by surprise !!

Old Feb 3rd 2015, 5:30 am
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Default Well this has caught me by surprise !!

Dont know where its come from but I feel like I want to go home

Nothing bad has happened and I'm very happy with my lot here so its a little confusing.
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Old Feb 3rd 2015, 6:15 am
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Default Re: Well this has caught me by surprise !!

It is all very confusing Col; all too often we hear people on here take the piss and tell you to harden up and get over yourself when you're on a downer or missing stupid little thing from home and family. It's not like you can switch off those feelings and just soldier on like a robot; you can't control it, and they can come at you like a bolt from the blue and often it's for no discernible reason.

You quite recently went home and had a lot on your plate at the time, so it could be grief that's rearing it's head in an unexpected way and pulling you to the homeland. Hopefully it will pass as quickly as it came and you'll be feeling more like your usual self.
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Old Feb 3rd 2015, 7:08 am
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Wink Re: Well this has caught me by surprise !!

I'm quite fond of the idea of living somewhere else...but the UK? Is this a self-punishment for some deep seated guilt?
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Old Feb 3rd 2015, 8:44 am
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Default Re: Well this has caught me by surprise !!

Think I need a stiff drink and a slap round the chops (volunteers form an orderly cue on the right),
when I was there last I hated the place and couldn't get away fast enough...hence the confusion
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Old Feb 3rd 2015, 7:46 pm
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Default Re: Well this has caught me by surprise !!

It's your homeland and your children live there - you'd have to be pretty emotionally detached to feel nothing for the place, ever. Don't ignore it because it will come back harder but don't wallow and fuel the feelings either. Accept you feel that way right now - and that's ok and doesn't mean you need to change anything in response to those feelings - and don't wallow for more than a day or two. Avoid any expats you know have strong feelings of homesickness and a tendency to wallow but share with those who you know feel the same but have worked out strategies to cope. Perhaps a bit formulaic an approach, but it works for me
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Old Feb 3rd 2015, 9:05 pm
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Default Re: Well this has caught me by surprise !!

I get that all of a sudden sometimes too and it is really confusing as I don't want to go back and live in the UK either right now. I just remind myself of all the reasons we came to NZ in the first place which really helps.
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Old Feb 3rd 2015, 11:31 pm
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Default Re: Well this has caught me by surprise !!

I get it to, usually when i,m well oiled trust me the grass is definitely no greener over there. Stay put

Neil
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Old Feb 3rd 2015, 11:44 pm
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Default Re: Well this has caught me by surprise !!

Probably just a passing phase. You are generally very happy being here so acknowledge how you are feeling right now and the reasons for it. Certainly plays havoc with your equilibrium doesn't it .

Hope it doesn't last long.
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Old Feb 4th 2015, 4:55 am
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Default Re: Well this has caught me by surprise !!

Happened to me too about 18 months ago. I was happily carrying on here, had been back to the UK about 3 years ago when my father was ill but was very happy to come back 'home' after that to NZ but it hit me too for no reason. It wasn't even in the immediate aftermath of grieving.

I am still here, but for me it hasn't really gone away, I just live with it. That said I have no immediate plans to return, although this may change when my daughters move back this year (one this week) but I think you just have to acknowledge it for what it is, I think it happens to most of us at some time, no matter how happy we are to be here.

So maybe just run with it, acknowledge it and hopefully it will disappear back to where it came from. If not, do a pros and cons list - I do them all the time just to remind me of what's better Good luck & take care
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Old Feb 4th 2015, 7:58 am
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Default Re: Well this has caught me by surprise !!

I think I'm just missing my boys.
I'm not about to go making hasty decisions because of it but I'm expecting it get worse once my brother and sister in law,
who are coming over for a holiday in 3 weeks, have gone home.
Maybe i'll figure out a long term plan. . . . . or maybe not !!
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Old Feb 5th 2015, 4:33 am
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Default Re: Well this has caught me by surprise !!

Happens sometimes to me too, as I do tend to have dreams about the U.K. But then I go on facebook and see the snow pictures and it subsides
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Old Feb 14th 2015, 8:42 am
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Default Re: Well this has caught me by surprise !!

Originally Posted by Justcol View Post
Dont know where its come from but I feel like I want to go home

Nothing bad has happened and I'm very happy with my lot here so its a little confusing.
Come up for a visit and we'll talk it out
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Old Feb 14th 2015, 9:47 am
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Default Re: Well this has caught me by surprise !!

Aww thanks fi, do you realize its 6 years
Since you payed us a visit in Cambridge.
Keep that invite open, I'll get up there one day
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Old Feb 14th 2015, 10:17 am
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Default Re: Well this has caught me by surprise !!

Originally Posted by Justcol View Post
Aww thanks fi, do you realize its 6 years
Since you payed us a visit in Cambridge.
Keep that invite open, I'll get up there one day
Time flies ay?! Would be good to see you. Take care :-)
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Old Feb 15th 2015, 10:59 am
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Default Re: Well this has caught me by surprise !!

I know it's not the same but I sometimes dream of being 'back home' on the south coast where I spent many happy years. There are cultural differences where I live now that I don't think I'll ever adjust too but I know the south coast of 20yrs ago no longer exists and it's more the people, the emotions and a specific time in my life that I'm wanting rather than a physical location.

We're planning a trip this April to visit friends we haven't seen for over 20yrs and to say au revoir to some places in case we achieve our dream of emigrating, it will be interesting to see how much of the pull is memories and how much is still there.

I hope you feel more settled again soon and the departure of family after their visit isn't too traumatic.
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