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Well this has caught me by surprise !!

Well this has caught me by surprise !!

Old Feb 21st 2015, 7:32 pm
  #31  
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Default Re: Well this has caught me by surprise !!

It would cheer me up... I'm not down at the moment but you never know when it might strike...
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Old Feb 21st 2015, 8:08 pm
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Default Re: Well this has caught me by surprise !!

Originally Posted by Toodles23
It would cheer me up... I'm not down at the moment but you never know when it might strike...
I'll bear it in mind
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Old Feb 21st 2015, 10:59 pm
  #33  
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Default Re: Well this has caught me by surprise !!

Originally Posted by Vitalstatistix

Do you think a chocolate custard trifle would cheer you up Col?
OMG no !!

I hate the stuff, i have terrible memories of being forced to eat chocolate custard at school dinners in primary school.
They wouldnt let you go out to play after dinner until had eaten it, the old dragon dinner ladies would patrol around
the tables like Mr Bumble and Widow Corney making sure it was all gone
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Old Feb 22nd 2015, 5:02 am
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Default Re: Well this has caught me by surprise !!

Originally Posted by Justcol
OMG no !!

I hate the stuff, i have terrible memories of being forced to eat chocolate custard at school dinners in primary school.
They wouldnt let you go out to play after dinner until had eaten it, the old dragon dinner ladies would patrol around
the tables like Mr Bumble and Widow Corney making sure it was all gone
Oh dear. Mine wouldn't taste anything like school custard, chocolate or otherwise. I hated school custard but loved the custard my parents made. Same with a lot of school 'food' to be fair. We had dinner ladies like that at my school too. Evil women.

I make an excellent sherry trifle and also a cointreau one too. Either of those cheer you up?
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Old Feb 22nd 2015, 6:31 am
  #35  
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Default Re: Well this has caught me by surprise !!

I'm not particularly unhappy, but feel free to send a red cross parcel filled with goodies of your choice.

I'm not sure a trifle would travel to well but what the heck, give it a go. Do you think a box or Jiffy bag would be best
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Old Feb 22nd 2015, 6:58 am
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Default Re: Well this has caught me by surprise !!

Originally Posted by Justcol
I'm not particularly unhappy, but feel free to send a red cross parcel filled with goodies of your choice.

I'm not sure a trifle would travel to well but what the heck, give it a go. Do you think a box or Jiffy bag would be best
It's a trifle, a jiffy bag would do it , I'll even jump on it to make sure that it has been truly trifled with!
Great that you are feeling better.
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Old Mar 5th 2015, 4:16 am
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Default Re: Well this has caught me by surprise !!

Well I've given it lots of thought and its not going away !!

I havent even mentioned it to the wife yet, god knows what she'll say

I've got nothing bad to say about life in NZ, I really do like living here, theres nothing that cheeses me off (apart from car prices)
and if I do go I know I'll miss it, but the pull for Blighty is getting stronger.
Maybe its just that my time here is done and the adventure is over, I dunno !!

If it happens its gonna take some time and i have a house to finish restoring here before anything can even begin.

Havent got a clue what to do at this point, have started looking around to gauge house prices and job availability
so for the time being I will sit back and plod along until somethings ready to happen.
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Old Mar 5th 2015, 5:42 am
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Default Re: Well this has caught me by surprise !!

I strongly urge you to discuss this with your wife at the soonest opportunity. I've no idea how she will respond but I am fairly sure she will be hurt to be left out of the thinking/ ruminating stage. After all, you were only last weekend celebrating (loudly) your first wedding anniversary
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Old Mar 5th 2015, 7:09 am
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Default Re: Well this has caught me by surprise !!

oh god i wouldnt dream of not discussing it with her.

I need to be sure its not just a flash in the pan thing. Its gonna take at least a year to finish the house
and then we can look at it properly.

Last edited by Justcol; Mar 5th 2015 at 7:11 am.
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Old Mar 5th 2015, 8:33 am
  #40  
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Default Re: Well this has caught me by surprise !!

Oh dear! It is totally not fun having any form of homesickness or people sickness. I agree with BB. Time to discuss with your wife, let her in so she can support you.

Can you pinpoint what it is you are missing? People or place? Are you missing your sons?

When in the UK I have constant place homesickness and when I am in NZ I have people sickness. Both you can live with (on a low level I guess) but there comes a time when if it becomes overwhelming you make changes accordingly.

Think carefully about what you feel you are missing, really try to unpick it. Have you been in more contact with people for instance. Are there any big events coming up in the UK that you might be missing?

I really feel for you, it's not nice at all. The pull home is strong, sometimes so strong we can'g ignore it.

I always like Stormer's idea of looking at his list of pros and cons. Sometimes it helps to unpick what life would really be like if you moved back. Also you will still be grieving for your mum, give yourself a chance to work through it all.
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Old Mar 5th 2015, 10:23 am
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Default Re: Well this has caught me by surprise !!

Originally Posted by dannigirl
Think carefully about what you feel you are missing, really try to unpick it. Have you been in more contact with people for instance. Are there any big events coming up in the UK that you might be missing?
I know exactly what it is, I miss my boys, thats it.

When i went back in Nov I was pretty much in Manchester the whole time and I hated it.

I could never live in a big city again, however it would mean I was free to choose where I settled again
and there are plenty of places I could happily settle. I always wanted to live in the Lake District but it didnt
fit with the ex's plans when we were still there so it never happened, now there are no barriers so I could
go where ever I feel would suit us
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Old Mar 5th 2015, 9:58 pm
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Default Re: Well this has caught me by surprise !!

Originally Posted by Justcol
oh god i wouldnt dream of not discussing it with her.
But you are looking at jobs, houses, locations, asking on forums, etc., so that *is* not discussing it with her!

PS: is she a Kiwi? Are you aware of the process for bringing a non-EEA spouse to the UK? http://britishexpats.com/forum/citiz...mation-830478/

Last edited by bourbon-biscuit; Mar 5th 2015 at 10:00 pm.
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Old Mar 6th 2015, 3:27 am
  #43  
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Default Re: Well this has caught me by surprise !!

Originally Posted by bourbon-biscuit
But you are looking at jobs, houses, locations, asking on forums, etc., so that *is* not discussing it with her!

PS: is she a Kiwi? Are you aware of the process for bringing a non-EEA spouse to the UK? http://britishexpats.com/forum/citiz...mation-830478/
Well I've discussed it now, doesnt fancy living in the cold but understands my position and will support me if
its what I really do. Its not something thats totally out of the blue, she's said in the past how exciting it is being
able to live in the uk now she's married to a pom

visa requirements arent a problem. Wouldnt go without a job and would earn more than the required amount
We have no dependent children, but have it covered with the amount of savings anyway.

Nothing may come of this but right now and for a little while its what I want
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Old Mar 10th 2015, 7:33 am
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Default Re: Well this has caught me by surprise !!

I have case of home/people sickness at the moment. Came out of the blue this month.

Don't miss the UK so much - just my bro, dad and mates mainly.

Feel like i'm not part of his life so much. He is planning to visit me in 2016 (which is miles away!)

So i think i may have to do a visit later this year to keep me sane. When i know i have a set date of seeing him it helps put things in perspective. I can count down and have something to look forward to and i can also live and enjoy life in NZ at the same time. Its the not knowing when i'll see him next that gets me. We skype often and keep in touch - but simple things like watching some tv or heading to a gig is what i miss. This is the worst feeling i've had with homesickness. Not just mental symptoms but physical too, just heart and headaches - total loss of concentration and general feeling of being panicked. Hope it fades over the next week.

I'm in my 5th year here in NZ now and this feeling only seems to have kicked in now. Probably because we just got a house and that means my ties to NZ are fairly strong. Luckily my partner has a UK passport as her parents are Brits so a stint in the UK in a few years is always a possibility. I would like to do that once i qualify for a Kiwi passport. Until then have to scrimp and save to plan visits to the UK and pay a bit to make my dad and bro come down. But that will get harder if i have kids one day as the $$ will disappear.

I cant just up and leave as i'd be financially ruined and jobless - so a move to the UK would require some planning. For me and my partner!

I guess homesickness is part of the deal of being in NZ. I think winter is my weak point, must be SAD - i was fine all summer!
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Old Mar 10th 2015, 7:47 am
  #45  
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Default Re: Well this has caught me by surprise !!

the main reason is my kids are still in their early 20's and I am not content to be a picture on the mantle piece as they are growing up.
Skype is ok for contact but its not the same as being involved in their lives.
In a few years they will settle down and maybe have kids, I don't want to see them grow up from the screen of a laptop.
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