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-   -   Are we mad...... (https://britishexpats.com/forum/new-zealand-83/we-mad-925752/)

Clairemidwife Jun 14th 2019 8:45 am

Are we mad......
 
hi all.

Looking for a bit of insight/reassurance.


we are due to arrive in January having put off a move for 10years it’s kind of now or never. My eldest is 14 and will have just started his GCSEs when we move and the other 2 10 and 12. Whilst I know it’s impossible to say as everyone’s different and I won’t know unless I try I am worried as the kids are older I’m going to ruin their lives taking them at such a late stage of their education. I’m worried I’ve left it too late to get them up to speed with the education system/friendship formation/Benefits of NZ life for kids. Just looking for words of wisdom from people who have took their kids so late. Thank you

Charismatic Jun 14th 2019 9:14 pm

Re: Are we mad......
 
A family member of mine moved just after they'd finished their GCSEs. Did a sort of gap where they worked as a cadet in telecoms for a couple of years, went back to university. Now married, purchased a house and works in IT.

...Just goes to show how fast life can go downhill and you can easily spiral into regular employment and domestic life. Each of us is only a couple of bad decisions away from working in IT. :-(

carcajou Jun 15th 2019 2:27 am

Re: Are we mad......
 
At ages 14, 12 and 10 it should be fine. Wait any longer and there may be problems for the 14 year old.

The bigger question are your finances. Have you gamed through jobs, the differences in salaries, etc?

Justcol Jun 15th 2019 7:27 am

Re: Are we mad......
 
Mine were 17 and 14
17 year old, didn't take to kiwi life, but he wasn't keen to come in the first place. He wasn't unhappy here. He had plenty of friends and we saw him come out of his shell a lot more during his time here. However he knew it was going to be a temporary arrangement so didn't really invest in the place.He was here for 18 months. He completed school here (year 13) then as we had agreed before we left the UK, he chose to return to blighty for uni. He's still there. He now has a masters and is very happy

14 year old took to NZ life like a duck to water. within weeks he had friends round at the house, was walking about outside barefoot and he didn't even complain about having to wear shorts as part of the school uniform. At 19, as many kiwis do, he set off to do his OE. He did Asia and Europe then bumped into a kiwi friend while in London and stayed in a room over a pub in Fulham for a while. That led to a half completed degree course in County Durham where a chance encounter with a lovely French girl saw him up sticks and follow his heart to Paris where he has been for the past 3 years living a very happy life. He will start at French Uni next year to complete / re do the degree at a fraction of the cost it would be in Blighty or NZ

Had I stayed in the UK I couldn't have hoped for things to have turned out any better for them, the main thing is they are HAPPY , which for me as a parent, matters more than anything else
I wouldn't worry about ruining your kids lives, if anything bringing them to NZ might give them a sense of adventure that the UK and its education system try very hard to beat out of them

Clairemidwife Jun 15th 2019 12:23 pm

Re: Are we mad......
 
Thank you for your very detailed input and thoughts. My main importance is ultimately their happiness but for the eldest it’s took his nearly 2 years to settle at high school but to do the uni course he ultimately wants NZ is a perfect place for his and to do a specialist subject here he will be a long way from home and in a huge Amount of debt. Sitting at parents evening this week listening to each teacher talk results, test and exams just made me come away feeling deflated.

I will always offer the option to them all they they can go and be what ever they choose and I would never force them to stay long term and I want them to have the courage to spread their wings. I know none of of know what the future holds for any of Us! The niggle at the back of my mind is always going to be there but life here currently means a lot of quite time/no friends round etc as my hubby works very long hours nights and none of them every go socialising.

Clairemidwife Jun 15th 2019 12:26 pm

Re: Are we mad......
 
I have a job offer salary To now but more hours and more money as weekends etc (I know this is not ideal). My hubby is going to have to work round me. I’ve tried to cost up as much as I can but it’s always going to be a guesstimate! We get by here and will apply the same ethos to wherever we live in the world!

Vitalstatistix Jun 21st 2019 4:57 am

Re: Are we mad......
 

Originally Posted by Clairemidwife (Post 12697974)
hi all.

Looking for a bit of insight/reassurance.


we are due to arrive in January having put off a move for 10years it’s kind of now or never. My eldest is 14 and will have just started his GCSEs when we move and the other 2 10 and 12. Whilst I know it’s impossible to say as everyone’s different and I won’t know unless I try I am worried as the kids are older I’m going to ruin their lives taking them at such a late stage of their education. I’m worried I’ve left it too late to get them up to speed with the education system/friendship formation/Benefits of NZ life for kids. Just looking for words of wisdom from people who have took their kids so late. Thank you

Hi Claire, just wondering were you are planning to move to in NZ? Sorry if I've missed this somewhere in the thread. It's a very different way of working in Midwifery in NZ. Are you direct-entry trained or are you also a nurse? I was a direct-entry midwife but for NZ purposes I wish I had been a nurse first. I would've had something else to fall back on when I found the way of working in a hospital here meant less autonomy and was very frustrating. Possibly less frustrating and more autonomy out of the cities which tend to have LMC's doing the vast majority of the deliveries.

Clairemidwife Jun 21st 2019 5:05 am

Re: Are we mad......
 

Originally Posted by Vitalstatistix (Post 12700905)
Hi Claire, just wondering were you are planning to move to in NZ? Sorry if I've missed this somewhere in the thread. It's a very different way of working in Midwifery in NZ. Are you direct-entry trained or are you also a nurse? I was a direct-entry midwife but for NZ purposes I wish I had been a nurse first. I would've had something else to fall back on when I found the way of working in a hospital here meant less autonomy and was very frustrating. Possibly less frustrating and more autonomy out of the cities which tend to have LMC's doing the vast majority of the deliveries.

No I'm direct entry. I know its very different and I'm not sure in all honesty if I'm totally prepared for this (can never totally appriciate until in the situation). It was one of the questions I asked after my interview was about my role and thank you for your insight.

BEVS Jun 25th 2019 1:46 am

Re: Are we mad......
 

Originally Posted by Clairemidwife (Post 12698464)
for the eldest it’s took his nearly 2 years to settle at high school but to do the uni course he ultimately wants , NZ is a perfect place for this and to do a specialist subject

Being nosy now. What is your son interested in ?

Where in NZ would you be initially heading? Will husband be also working?

Are you guys sporty and the like?

Clairemidwife Jun 25th 2019 10:56 am

Re: Are we mad......
 
Hi Bevs.

I have/had a job offer in Waikito region so would be heAding there. (I have not replied to deadline offer date as I’ve got a bit scared!)

yes kids are fairly outdoors types. Like adrenaline, scouts, footy that kind of thing.

my hubby says he will with work and thinks he’s going to “get a job to fit around my job”...........

Justcol Jun 25th 2019 7:00 pm

Re: Are we mad......
 
Where abouts in the waikato, I lived there for a few years

Clairemidwife Jun 25th 2019 8:26 pm

Re: Are we mad......
 
Hamilton/Cambridge sort of area.

escapedtonz Jun 25th 2019 11:32 pm

Re: Are we mad......
 

Originally Posted by Clairemidwife (Post 12702807)
Hamilton/Cambridge sort of area.

Drove through Cambridge this morning at 6am and sat at work in Hamilton......well between Hamilton Airport and Hamilton and its freezies today - minus 1 Brrr :rofl:

Justcol Jun 26th 2019 9:01 am

Re: Are we mad......
 

Originally Posted by Clairemidwife (Post 12702807)
Hamilton/Cambridge sort of area.

I lived in Cambridge for a good few years. Had a brand new house and a 100 year old traditional villa. It's a very pretty town and is popular with expats. The schools are very good, there are some very good restaurants, bars, cafes and a pub that does a nice pint of Boddingtons. It has all the supermarkets and big diy stores and garden centers you might need. It's not got much in clothes shops but Hamilton is only up the road. The town is split by the waikato river. Northern side is Cambridge, southern side is Leamington although it all now gets labelled as Cambridge. The Cambridge side tends to be a bit dearer for established house prices, but there are new builds and subdivisions on both sides with little or no price difference. Brace yourself for house prices, its not the cheapest place. It's got a new velodrome if you're in to cycling, lake karapiro if you fancy trying rowing. The town has grown very very quickly in recent years and I felt it lost much of it's charm and friendy community feel which is why I left, and most of my freinds there have since done the same or are in the process of selling up and leaving for the same reason. I have nothing but happy memories of the place and it is still a great place to live and raise a family. If you need to know anything drop me a line. I know a very good rental agent there if you need one,

Clairemidwife Jul 10th 2019 12:48 pm

Re: Are we mad......
 
Thank you for all your info. Just an update.....job accepted and EOI submitted..... Going to take a leaf from my kids books and advice from my boss being its time to live a little... Its going to be an Emotional journey but better that than spend the rest of my life in limbo wondering what if!


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