Maz

Never a truer word was spoken. Or typed. Karma for that.

wimpy

I have this really warm feeling after reading all your fantastic replies. I am sooooooooo excited that i am fit to burst. This move is on my mind all the time and I am really struggling to concentrate on other things. Roll on July

Animal Crackers

Oh I know the feeling well and we've 2 more years to go!!!!:curse:

beaudixon

Good on you for doing it
We had heaps of c**p from family before we came and been here over a year and still getting it!
But to throw a spanner in the works - why wait til July??? School year here starts begining of February and runs til December, wouldn't it be better to get them into the NZ system sooner
Just a thought

wimpy

Well if we go in July then that is the end of the UK school year so if we were to put them into school as soon as we got there then they would be repeating there final year. Also we would have to pay huge amounts to put them in school to start with. Obviously with work and a work visa we would be in a stronger position. Ideally we want to get them in asap as they will find new friends much faster that way.

happynz

It feels odd writing this as I am not someone who errs on the side of caution, but I think you'd be better off and a whole helluva lot less stressed if one of you came out - the one with the best shot at getting work and thus a work permit - and then bringing the rest of the family over. The kids could arrive and be stamped in with student permits when they arrive. That in itself is a good settling strategy having the kids being able to go straightaway into school.

Joshlin

As usual, some good advice has gone before. I agree with the " don't play the what if game" though. You obviously want this new life to work out for your family-so once you get your feet on the ground here you need to make things happen or at least give them a good kick up the arse to get them started.
We came over in a fairly similar situation, a place to stay for the first month, no jobs(although we were both on the long term shortage list), two kids under 4(so no school pressure I admit) and going to Chch where we knew absolutely no-one.
Only once-(and it was for about 30 seconds on the last leg of the longhaul flight into NZ) did I think " here we are, wife and kids asleep, all our stuff on the high seas, 13 bags in the hold, we have no house keys or car keys in our pockets, we own nothing, don't know when we will ever get paid again, we have each other and thats it. It was a very sobering thought.

There will always be plenty of support and advice on here, you might not want to hear what some say, or agree with other stuff, but you'll never be on your own so to speak.

Good luck.

Lee

jennifer45

Oh MY God!!!
Just had the most spectacular row with OH tonight and then I read this!
What to do? Who to turn to ( certainly not going to worry our kids!)
Hubby has always been 'shy' of change!! Any change! Even the change in his pocket! ~He's a Yorkshireman! (1/2 Welsh!)
It's been a nightmare last 2 years! I've undergone 3 majors- which ,bless him, he has held forth as a reason why I may not pass medicals. I WILL!!
He spends more and more time seeking out negative aspects of the move to NZ whilst assuring me that to emigrate there is his ultimate goal!
If I say I feel cold- he says huh! think how you'll feel in NZ. No CH/DG!!
I point out a lot of houses now have good heat /air conditioning and you can get DG but lovely thick heavy velvet curtains are cosier. He says I live in cloud cuckoo land. Sometimes I think I do.
He constantly criticises my daughter -in-law, but I tell him to try and see it from her point of view, and anyway it's our sons choice and that's good enough for me.

I have a very sizeable inheritance + other savings- if push came to shove, maybe just maybe I would go out on my own- BUT- I couldn't bear to upset my son's and they love us both dearly in different ways.
My OH has always found it difficult to show/express his caring emotions, but is extremely quick to chastise or put down the rest of the family, yet I know he cares about us dearly.
Maybe it's the 37 year itch- get over this and I'm sorted!

Why Oh Why am I writing this to a load of total strangers?
Need someone to talk to?
All MY family are dead except my sons.
As I really am of no further use on this earth- because if I were to fit into the natural order of things, then I would undertake the natural 'role of grandmama' and that role cannot be fulfilled from the other side of the earth, not even for 3 months of the year.(No matter what people say -longhaul flights take their toll on the human body-certainly on mine!!)
Sometimes I think my sons could do so much with my money- they need it now whilst they're young enough to benefit from it not when they're over 60, but OH is adamant they get nothing as yet.
Sorry folks- but tonight I'm sad- shouldn't have bothered you,
Tomorrow- I'll be OK!

Yotty

It's your money so you decide what happens to it! Is your O/H a bit like Geoff Boycott?

Kerrygold

That's exactly what we're doing and believe me I've researched, researched, researched. It makes sense for one of you to have rental accommodation ready which I believe will help our children settle quickly.

wimpy

Luckily we have accomodation already sorted for the first couple of months but as for long term I will need to find work. We always have our house sale money to help though

happynz

I think you need to think short-term in this case. Really, a job to go to and a school that requires your kids' attendance will help you settle in faster. Without work and with the kids not in school you may settle into holiday mode and the eventual transition to the workaday world may come as a shock.

You may be distressed to find how quickly your funds will dwindle without an income coming in.

wimpy

I know where your coming from but the problem with the schooling is without work it would cost us an absolute fortune to put the children into school all so they can repeat there final year. Its a visious circle really. Ideally we would get them into school within the first 3-4 weeks but we have to play this carefully.

happynz

Yeah, exactly. Without you having a work permit you will in all probability get dinged for international student fees. That would suck mightily! OK, I am repeating myself, but it needs to be stressed and that is I think it would be prudent for one of you to come out first, secure a job - any job really, as long as you get a work permit out of it - and only then bring the family over. You'll save tonnes of money short-term and long-term. You'll save thousands on airfare alone because as visitors you are going to need onward tickets and they ain't cheap. If your family have work permits and student permits in your passports the onward travel requirements are waived.

So what if the kids repeat some schooling. It won't hurt them in the least and it will get them some needed social integration.

You will do what you have to do, just play it smart.

Good luck, Wimpy.

wimpy

sound advice mate, will run it by the family.