Natalie1303

Oh dear :-(

I suppose it just shows that no matter what advice people give (which is exactly what I asked for) or how much planning etc it really comes down to what feels right inside....and only I know that (although it keeps changing ha ha!!)

Let's not have digs at people, each to their own :-)

jmh

The impression I get is that those who have migrated and stuck it out for a few years (sometimes happy, other times not) and then go back home seem to be happiest when they get back to the UK. Those who migrated and went back home quickly are more likely to become ping-pong Poms who come back. It's not actually the time frame that decides it, but the way they approach the process, whether its migrating or moving back home.

It seems that the longer people take to research the move (either way), analyse their reasons for making it, and ask themselves the hard questions (e.g. what if my mum dies) the better decisions they make in the end. Better in terms of their own happiness. That might be NZ, or it might be back home.

I was talking to my hairdresser who was a ping-pong Paddy. Although it cost her more money in the end, she was glad she tested the waters back in Ireland because she was more settled when she returned to NZ. She is the sort of person who makes decisions quickly on based on feelings rather than research. She's happy now though.

Bo-Jangles

You're 100% spot on Natalie; it's not black and white and all the planning in the world does not = success.

Unless you're of retirement age with little need or aspirations to achieve financial security, education for kids and a career then it's never going to be easy to predict the future and tick all the boxes for everyone n your family unit.

Some of the smugs of course like to think it's all in the planning and they knew it all before they get here, but at the end of the day it takes a huge leap of faith and a whole lot of effort and an even bigger degree of luck to make it all work. Some land on their feet, some don't.

None of us really know what we are coming to despite all the reams of stuff written here and elsewhere. Nobody knows what their job will turn out like, or even if they can get one, no one can determine what sort of people you will encounter, what the neighbours or work colleagues and bosses will be like or whether their kids will fit into the school. Of course life would be sweet if all we had to worry about was whether to bother getting out of bed today and what to have for breakfast but beyond that most of us do have to make some real big life decisions; are forced to go to work and do things and interact with people which would not be of our choosing and which we may not necessarily like.

There's infinitely variable possibilities of how things will turn out, none of which can be planned for and bits of which we won't all like in equal measure. Life would be utterly boring if it all went according to plan.

Polly 3

Yep I hear you on that one, we are In OZ and really hate it, taxed out of house and home.
We are returning to NZ for a second time, sooner the better.
Moving out of ones backyard is not for everyone, planning and informing yourself of the real facts, attitude and unforeseen circumstances all play their part.
We have decided to return to semi retire to semi rural NZ, we are over big cities and over the OZ lifestyle. Would we go back to the UK? Not for us at all, although I do enjoy my once a year visit to see folks.
Good luck with your plans, if it helps, we have friends who are about to return for the third time!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bo-Jangles

See I don't get that at all - you cannot research and plan for emotional events such as family ties and how you will feel in particular circumstances,

Things change on a day by day basis and decisions I made several years ago, with Mother in fine fettle and a picture of health are quite different to decision I might make today.

Our thinking of course at that time that parental visits either way would be more frequent and that money wouldn't be such an issue - but hey that was just a stupid idea and we should have known better, eh?

Polly 3

[QUOTE=Natalie1303;11356368]Oh dear :-(

I suppose it just shows that no matter what advice people give (which is exactly what I asked for) or how much planning etc it really comes down to what feels right inside....and only I know that (although it keeps changing ha ha!!)

Let's not have digs at people, each to their own :-)[/QUOTE
Yep, we left NZ for OZ because work sent us, I LOVE the weather and the people, but although born in Hull, cry almost everyday to go home to NZ. None of us know what the future may bring, I'm just glad we have had the guts and ability to live in many counties, we could have spend a life wondering, but we have given it a go and thats awesome! We are planning another trip to NZ next month, deciding just where exactly to live, our kids think we are nuts, but at least we are not boring!

jmh

[QUOTE=Polly 3;11356442] I think you demonstrate what I meant in my post. You decide what to do based on how you feel at the time. I'm not criticising you for that, it's how you are. I suspect you will continue moving around depending on how you feel - in fact to be one of those dreaded planning types seems boring to you, and maybe they are. Of course they don't see it that way. As you say, each to their own.

My post above isn't critical of one type or the other. It's my observation of how some people when they return to the UK are happy, and others aren't, based on people I know. Those who've lived abroad for several years seem to be happier back in the UK than those who stuck it out a few months. Maybe there is another reason for that, I haven't thought of.

jmh

Yeah I don't think you really got my point. In fact based on the theory in my post, I imagine you would be deliriously happy living back in the UK because you have lived many years in NZ. You have made a good go of it, the plans that you made prior to migrating probably did work out for the most part, but now that life has changed for you, alternative plans might be in order. Whether that is NZ or UK will depend on a lot of things which no doubt you will plan and research and come to the right decision in due course.

hazeandsteve

A friend of mine came over as a stonemason, and was met at Auckland airport by his sponsor, bearing the news that his job had fallen through.
Be careful, and research the employers.

Snap Shot

Nice to see you posting again. Hope all is well.

Blade Down Under

Expo

It may be a good thing for you, but for us it was a waste of time

When everything was signed on the dotted line, we went to this working in expedition, in London and I seriously wished I never bothered. I suppose the only good thing was we developed a very good relationship with Royce who has been magnificent with providing information outside of his boundary about Australia.

The stall attendees were not particularly helpful at all. I think there was Bayleys real estate - please don't sign any forms. All you get is message on message about Nelson if you do from Bruce. They were very poor in offering advice or information.

There was also the people from the Commonwealth Bank which were better as they opened our account up for us. I'll give them their dues, they even informed us of all our options - Westpac, ANZ, HSBC etc but we were happy to open an account with them. It then gets set up in the UK and you just activate it in New Zealand or Australia. Very good

We had a couple of health reps who weren't particularly up to scratch on anything health, unless you were looking for jobs. As many advised me on the healthcare systems in both countries, I particularly had some questions I wanted answering. Unfortunately, it seems their knowledge for ACC in NZ wasn't up to scratch and the Australian rep, well I enjoyed being lied to about eligibility for the health system there. I came to Sydney thinking I'd have to take out private health but once I was informed I was a PR, that wasn't the case. Unlike what was informed at the expo.

The recruitment agencies I don't think completely understand any processes of immigration.

It may be worth your trip but for me it was a waste of time. The best ones we did were at the houses, not working expeditions. I was arranged to go to Australia House for the day and got some excellent advice from them, as I did from the people at New Zealand house. It is very hard to arrange, I must inform. You can't really just turn up and expect to be seen.

scrubbedexpat094

Hi Natalie, hope you are all keeping well. I remember you from the first time around. Do you still keep in touch with any of the folks who used to meet up? I haven't as they all have young kids and I find that difficult to deal with.

Anyway, I don't know if you remember but we did the ping-pong thing back in 2005 returning in 2007. We are still in Gulf Harbour. I still have a love/hate relationship with NZ. Changes you would notice if you returned to this area: loads of new houses at Silverdale; a new shopping area at Silverdale; house prices are sky-rocketing in many areas of Auckland, though GH is still quite reasonable (mostly); Penlink is still being tossed about & is unlikely to happen; traffic congestion is much worse through Whangaparaoa, Silverdale and onto SH1 and there is no will by Auckland's super-city to improve infrastructure from the bridge northwards.

I probably settled for a couple of years & then I feel like I've been existing ever since. On the plus side, you can now get double cream (expensive of course) and not a good reason to move to the other side of the planet. IMHO Kiwi businesses (not all of them of course) tend to put nepotism above meritocracy. Hence quality suffers. I think your OH would find that frustrating.

Personally I would stay where you are or look at other countries but only you can make the ultimate decision.

pippalonghorn

I don't regret returning to the UK at all. I'm more settled than I have ever been and am enjoying the UK so much more. It all depends on what you want from life and also your own circumstances.

kitti

Hi, I came back after fleeing Nelson for lots of reasons, some very similar to yours! Kiwi husband's family are there, we went in 2008. He couldn't find work, I had to get a job, I was miserable watching my babies grow up while I had to go to work every day (the plan was to be a stay at home mum). I hated my awful sales job and money was tighter than ever. I got pregnant with twins, and panicked. Husband got offered his old job back in the UK and back we went.

I was happy for about three months then someone pointed out to me all I ever talked about was NZ. I didn't even realise it at first. We were talking about the children and our long-term plans and neither of us mentioned it at first, but one day it was the elephant in the room we just couldn't ignore any longer and we made the decision.

This time we did it right. Well researched area (though we still live somewhere I didn't expect) and most importantly, a job offer before we came!

It's hard to do though, and you'll question yourself a lot and your friends will dissuade you. You HAVE to be determined. I have been back almost two years and am sooooo much happier than the first. We live on the Kapiti Coast now and my husband commutes to Wellington. Chch isn't my cup of tea personally, but if it's where the work is, why not, plenty of people love living there. You can have the semi-rural lifestyle and still get into the city. The weather is cold for NZ, but still plenty warmer than the UK!

Feel free to pm me if you want to chat about it, it's a very hard thing to do, but in my experience well worth it. If someone offered me a ticket back I wouldn't take it.

Good luck! xxx

kitti

Oh - and we're poor. Awfully poor. We lost everything money-wise. But you know what? I don't care because I love where I live so much. For me it was the right thing to do.