Originally Posted by Cindyf67

What is the reason for wanting to return to the UK?

Originally Posted by pippalonghorn

When a person is struggling with a major decision they need support. It is not a competition against countries.
I sat with a work colleague a few weeks ago who is from Poland. She misses home so much and was quite upset. We talked about what she missed about Poland and what she didn't like about the UK. I didn't feel the need or want to defend the UK. This was not the time or the place.
I also did not put her country down.

Originally Posted by Cindyf67

Oh my goodness, how awful - no I have never seen that in the UK and I am near London!



There are lots of changes in the UK, but every country has its for's and against's - I am proud to come from the UK and will always take pride in that, but I am just aiming for a better quality of life in NZ.



Nobody should judge, we all have a right to live (subject to visas of course ) where we want to be, NZ is not right for everybody, the same as the UK is not right for some too. The UK has a lot going for it, free healthcare and education but with D Cameron in power a lot of changes are being made - and some not for the better .

What's that about ? I thought people learned to have a positive frame of since living in New Zealand.

Originally Posted by Kotare

Not at all. It is 'the grass is greener' syndrome whether coming to NZ or leaving NZ for xx.

First 20 years of our marriage we lived in ten countries, 17 houses yabba yabba and one of the things I have learnt is you can't go back! Places change, people change etc so at a minimum you need to treat it as a new experience rather than a return to a previous life.

Originally Posted by simonsi

Its fear. Fear that because others have found they made a "bad" choice, they may have made a similar bad choice but don't realise it yet. Its a variant of the herd instinct.

Originally Posted by Snap Shot

I need to get a job and that's just not happening here, despite my best efforts.

Originally Posted by Charismatic

Disagree strongly. I came to realise indecision makes people unhappy, sure weigh up the pros and cons but don’t sit on your hands because there is only misery available through fretting. There is nothing to be gained in wallowing in self-doubt or pity. Make the choice, then get on with living and being happy.

I agree, and this is probably one of my downfalls in that looking into everything so deeply can make you become very positive one minute, and very negative the next . I have never wallowed in self pity, I am a go getter to a large extent, and know that things in life have to be worked at to accomplish friends/work etc.

I suppose some discussions do require a nuanced and interpretative discussion, sharing of sentiments and sympathies, a little heart to heart...but some people just need a shove. As I'm sure you've guessed my career as a mental health professional never got off the ground but indecision is a choice, the question is will you keep making that choice while your life trickles away day-by-day in an inconsequential limbo.

That quote did make me laugh, but I clearly see your point, life does trickle away at a very fast pace and if we leave it too long, we won't have a choice to enter NZ.

Pour your energy into moving or get them dreams out of you head sweetheart. Either way you can be happy.

Originally Posted by PB65

Sorry but had to take the bait on the D Cameron comment. Politicians are all same regardless of party or country they make promises they cannot keep and people still have memories of the Tony Blair government prior to Cameron. Corbyn is hardly a fit person to get into power either but then again at least UK doesnt have a Donald Trump that could be multiple times a worse prospect and immigration numbers would rise accordingly.

Originally Posted by Hazelnut

Charismatic has some wise words. We were lucky and managed to visit NZ for a fact finding and biggest holiday of our lives trip. What that helped us decide was that we wanted to make the move, have the adventure and explore new things. Although it's taking us ages, and we're still not there, being certain that we want to move from where we are now has been a solid base to build everything else round. Like all new things we know there will be some aspects we'll find challenging and some we'll find amazing but it's all part of the adventure. Most of it will be mainstream, everyday stuff. Our line for new adventure versus security of staying in the UK was the type of visa we applied for. On a short term visa we could have been out there a year ago but we wanted the security of an SMC visa before spending scary amounts of money moving.

I agree Hazelnut, we are looking for a new adventure too, but with a small pickle in tow we cannot take risks that we would probably take, had it been just the two of us. My niece is so very happy there, and was a typical London young girl - she adores the life there, and the one thing that she loves the most is the people. She has made some lovely friends in NZ.

We've also said we'll do a minimum of five years, having done one big move in the UK to where we had no friends, family or support I'd say a year isn't enough to base permanent decisions on. I cried a LOT during our first six months here! The working practices were very different to what I'd know before, I didn't understand the local accent, the rented house we were in was in a very rough area where the shops had security grills down on the windows even when open, money was tight and I had no friends. There was no internet or mobile phones then so it was truly isolating. I didn't see my parents for two years or my sister for five years after we moved. My Nan died without me seeing her again as we couldn't afford the flight that was the only way to get there in time, no budget airlines back then.

Looking back it was probably the lowest point of our lives but we survived and then thrived. It was the best move we ever made and we've both had career, housing and life opportunities we could never have had where we lived before. I also have some of the best friends I've ever had. The turning point for MrH was about nine months in when we bought our own house. For me it was about 18months after we'd settled more and made friends in the local community. At the five year mark we did a review and said this was where we wanted to stay and we've been here for over 20yrs.

That is a lovely post, and I am so glad things worked out for you. Life can be so very hard and testing at times, but I often think that sometimes it makes us better people.

Life is never predictable though and the universe has decided to give us another chance at a major adventure to keep us young We're grabbing it with open arms. It's taken a period of mental adjustment for us both and retraining for me but we're ready to leave here and move forwards now.

Originally Posted by fourseasons

Yes, it is very tedious to have to deal with the comments when you announce you are going home with even a hint of the things you don't like. I soon stopped that and just give some vague reasons for returning whilst highlighting the things I do think are great about living here.

Every person has a right to be happy.

I sincerely hope that things will have changed when I go back, that's what happens. My life has changed, the lives of my family and friends have changed. Some changes will be good, others not so good. I have been home since we came here so have seen it for myself albeit in holiday mode. Since I've been here Auckland has changed and a lot of the changes have not been for the better. Judging by the current exodus to Tauranga and the like, Kiwis also agree with this.

Another thing I think people forget about migrants is that, if they are coming to NZ, they are highly qualified with good jobs with something to offer the country. This also means, almost certainly, that they have nice homes, cars, access to good schools - just a nice life style. I'm not going to apologise for expecting to be able to replicate this pretty closely when arriving here. It soon becomes draining when things you think are going to be pretty easy to sort prove time consuming and expensive. It is also draining (although I laugh about it now) when your experience and qualifications aren't quite good enough - you need Kiwi experience, even when there aren't any kiwis with that experience because you just can't get it here!

That is one of the worries for us, we are both of normal educational background, but not professionals in the sense of the word, we will be coming to live a normal life and by the sounds of the prices of property we may struggle - Auckland, I think, is a definite no no as it will be out of our price range, but it does offer more jobs especially for me, so it may be a bit of a catch 22 for us. Experience is something we will be reliant on when we apply for jobs.

Anyway on to why we're going home. As I'm sure is true for others, it is a combination of factors. Lot of things I miss about the UK - family, friends, culture, proper seasons, great schools, decent newspapers, good TV, beautiful varied countryside, proximity to Europe, my beautiful home but most of all it's the feeling of belonging. When I returned to the UK for a holiday last year, I cried when I arrived, I had come home to the familiar and safe.

That is so sad to hear, but lovely for you to be going "home". I wish you all the best when you return to the UK.

There simply isn't enough to keep us here.
- Personally I have been disappointed with education. I think my children will have much better options long term if they are educated in the UK. Standards vary a lot.
- The housing is terrible unless you have $$$
- Customer Service - what's that again?
- Limited choices when it comes to shopping
- Food more expensive, especially seasonally
- NZ overall is pretty insular

That's not good to hear.

For balance, here are the things I like about living here:
- Hauraki harbour is beautiful
- Love going to the beach, surfing etc
- Weather is good, generally although it does rain more than you expect and it is colder for longer than I expected
- Coffee cultures - lots of little individual coffee shops
- Eating out - we do that more here and find it very reasonable, especially all the Asian food
- Proximity to Australia

Originally Posted by fourseasons

Yes, it is very tedious to have to deal with the comments when you announce you are going home with even a hint of the things you don't like. I soon stopped that and just give some vague reasons for returning whilst highlighting the things I do think are great about living here.

I sincerely hope that things will have changed when I go back, that's what happens. My life has changed, the lives of my family and friends have changed. Some changes will be good, others not so good. I have been home since we came here so have seen it for myself albeit in holiday mode. Since I've been here Auckland has changed and a lot of the changes have not been for the better. Judging by the current exodus to Tauranga and the like, Kiwis also agree with this.

Another thing I think people forget about migrants is that, if they are coming to NZ, they are highly qualified with good jobs with something to offer the country. This also means, almost certainly, that they have nice homes, cars, access to good schools - just a nice life style. I'm not going to apologise for expecting to be able to replicate this pretty closely when arriving here. It soon becomes draining when things you think are going to be pretty easy to sort prove time consuming and expensive. It is also draining (although I laugh about it now) when your experience and qualifications aren't quite good enough - you need Kiwi experience, even when there aren't any kiwis with that experience because you just can't get it here!

Anyway on to why we're going home. As I'm sure is true for others, it is a combination of factors. Lot of things I miss about the UK - family, friends, culture, proper seasons, great schools, decent newspapers, good TV, beautiful varied countryside, proximity to Europe, my beautiful home but most of all it's the feeling of belonging. When I returned to the UK for a holiday last year, I cried when I arrived, I had come home to the familiar and safe.

There simply isn't enough to keep us here.
- Personally I have been disappointed with education. I think my children will have much better options long term if they are educated in the UK. Standards vary a lot.
- The housing is terrible unless you have $$$
- Customer Service - what's that again?
- Limited choices when it comes to shopping
- Food more expensive, especially seasonally
- NZ overall is pretty insular

For balance, here are the things I like about living here:
- Hauraki harbour is beautiful
- Love going to the beach, surfing etc
- Weather is good, generally although it does rain more than you expect and it is colder for longer than I expected
- Coffee cultures - lots of little individual coffee shops
- Eating out - we do that more here and find it very reasonable, especially all the Asian food
- Proximity to Australia

Originally Posted by Cindyf67

I could not cope with not working,.........being at home all day not knowing anyone, would send me into total despair