Kotare

Not at all. It is 'the grass is greener' syndrome whether coming to NZ or leaving NZ for xx.

First 20 years of our marriage we lived in ten countries, 17 houses yabba yabba and one of the things I have learnt is you can't go back! Places change, people change etc so at a minimum you need to treat it as a new experience rather than a return to a previous life.

Snap Shot

I agree. We can't go back to 2011 when we left Britain as that would take a time machine. Couldn't go back in time to any previous date as it goes.

However, we could return to Britain and it would be the date of arrival and we take things from there.

We can't go back to where we used to live and pick up where we left off like the last five years never happened. Although, it might just feel like it, and what would be wrong with that ?

I would like to visit our old home town (everybody sing....'there are places I remember').

As for living there again ? Well, that's anybody's guess. Been there, done that, pick again.

simonsi

Its fear. Fear that because others have found they made a "bad" choice, they may have made a similar bad choice but don't realise it yet. Its a variant of the herd instinct.

Kotare

Actually in many cases it is those who have made a bad choice trying to convince others that NZ will be a disaster for them (may be may be not) and how dreadful it is in NZ :-)

pippalonghorn

Im sorry, I don't agree. I remember going through a really hard time whilst in NZ. I wanted to return home and started a thread on here called "Is it just me?"

The regulars on here will probably's remember. I was not disrespectful to NZ and I tried to explain how I was feeling as I really thought I was alone with my thoughts. I ended up with quite a few abusive replies which was the last thing that I needed at that time. I did receive some support from a couple of people for whom I will always be grateful. I agree with what Snapshot wrote.

When a person is struggling with a major decision they need support. It is not a competition against countries. I sat with a work colleague a few weeks ago who is from Poland. She misses home so much and was quite upset. We talked about what she missed about Poland and what she didn't like about the UK. I didn't feel the need or want to defend the UK. This was not the time or the place. I also did not put her country down. I find this happens in NZ the minute a person decides they want to return home. A huge defensive wall appears. The UK is far from perfect and so is NZ. Every country has its flaws. I love to hear stories of people who go to NZ and its a success. Good on them!

Bo-Jangles

The difference is that most people know and are more than willing to put up with and admit that everything in the UK is not perfect, we'll all jolly along and often join in with the rest of the world who like to bang on and take the piss about the Poms, Brits and all the UKs shortcomings in a full and frank manner - people generally expect the worst and become quite surprised to find things are not that bad afterall.

When the boot is on the other foot and you dare to cross the line and say anything remotely unfavourable about Kiwis and all things New Zealandy, the defences are immediately up and it all starts to get a bit nasty. The tiniest bit of feedback that suggests all is not as it could be, or doesn't show NZ in a good light will bring out the bile and venom.

Kotare

I totally agree. The comments about whinging/moaning POMs is indeed slanderous/unwarranted and NZ obviously has the same national inferiority complex that drives the Scots and Welsh attitude to their neighbour.

Cindyf67

[QUOTE=LittleGreyCat;11915544]If you like more bustle and more chance of a job, Australia may be a better choice.

It is a much bigger country and as far as I know there is a much greater demand for HGV drivers.

[There was a TV series recently where a driver from the UK had moved to Oz and was now coining it as an HGV instructor.]

So if you have family in Oz then it is worth considering.

Australia is definitely a no go at the moment I think as our skills are not on the skills list. I am a qualified hairdresser as well, but I would not want to do this and I think with the 457 visa, you have to work in the capacity you applied - although I could be wrong. The ironic thing is my partner could get heaps of work but because of the skills criteria and he is 51 (past the visa application age ) he would not be able to do this, unless of course, he had a sponsor, he recently trained and assessed an Australian driver here, who said he would make a good living out in Oz, but again, HGV Driver is no longer a skill that is required by Australia. My niece is there and is a citizen but the family visa does not stretch to that, only siblings or parents. Thank you.

Cindyf67

[QUOTE=Hazelnut;11915598]I'll be a little bit blunt but one thing I'll pick up on is that your husband has said it's your decision alone but that you can't go back and forth. That doesn't sound very positive for him supporting you if you struggl after the move. MrH and I have always said it has to be a joint decision for us to apply for visas and try to make the move. We're creeping ever closer to making it happen, sometimes I wibble and have, "What the very heck are we doing!?" days and sometimes he does but we always come back to why we chose to try and make the move when we visited two years ago. I couldn't cope if he said it was my decision so my fault I was struggling and tough luck.

Thank you, I probably made it sound worse than the quote was . He just does not want to be "ping ponging" as he said it will cost a lot of money to go over, but as lots of people have said if I do not like it I can come back. I have explained to him that if we do make the move then we will both give it a year, if in that time, one of us is very unhappy/not settling etc then we will come back to the UK. We have a daughter and the one thing I have to make sure of (for my own sanity) is that if the worst happened and he wanted to stay and me go, or vice versa, where would I legally stand with my daughter, but we have both agreed that it needs to be a joint decision on both parts. I get wibbles all the time. I just wish I had that crystal ball with all the answers.

Cindyf67

Thank you, that must be very frustrating when you have the knowledge and experience! Although I realise it should be the way to go, hey I will be an immigrant, but that is how the cookie has to crumble!

Cindyf67

I can agree with you there, we all, of course, want what is best for our little pickles. It does cost money - areas and schooling in the UK go hand in hand, and it seems to be the case in NZ too. We would be happy for our daughter to be in a nice school and would of course make cuts, we have no fear of that, we live on a tight budget here in the UK so that would not come hard to us.

Cindyf67

Thank you, I have a good job here, and I love it, although I am part time now due to having a little one. My fear indeed is the thought of not finding work - it fills me with utter horror, one for money of course but two for my sanity! Is food and clothing a lot more expensive than the UK or can this be overcome by savvy shopping? My little pickle has not started school yet, she is due to go in September of this year, although she does attend a full day nursery for three days a week. She will love sport she is a very out door child! Thank you that is very helpful.

It will be a very expensive mistake for us if we had to return . The thought of one of us loving it and one of us not settling is obviously a very big worry . I worry that if he loves and I did not settle what would happen in a legal position re taking our daughter back, she is of course British and has a UK Passport - but I would have to explore that a little more. Oh my goodness that is a very high death toll, why is that? I would have to extensively explore schools in good areas and rely on feedback, this site is fab for that, I have learnt so much and appreciate everyone's honesty.

Are you going back to the UK for good? Thank you for your replies.

Cindyf67

I whole heartedly agree, my niece came "home" after 4 years and saw a big difference. She has decided for the present to stay in NZ as she has now got citizenship.

This is a heartwarming post.

Cindyf67

Thank you, that is kind. What is the reason for wanting to return to the UK?

Cindyf67

Oh my goodness, how awful - no I have never seen that in the UK and I am near London!

There are lots of changes in the UK, but every country has its for's and against's - I am proud to come from the UK and will always take pride in that, but I am just aiming for a better quality of life in NZ.

Nobody should judge, we all have a right to live (subject to visas of course ) where we want to be, NZ is not right for everybody, the same as the UK is not right for some too. The UK has a lot going for it, free healthcare and education but with D Cameron in power a lot of changes are being made - and some not for the better .

What's that about ? I thought people learned to have a positive frame of since living in New Zealand.