Originally Posted by Kotare

You cannot dictate outcomes for a 4 year old child, all you can do is provide motivation and opportunities.

My children had nearly identical input and opportunities. Both are reliable, independent and probably viewed as successful (Corporate lawyer and Army Major). My daughter is a very high achieving pain in the ass, my son is more relaxed and less academic. Guess who I would rather spend time with :-) but I couldn't forecast it.

To give them the educational opportunities etc they had probably cost me circa £500k in UK at todays prices. You could pay the same, or buy a really expensive house in UK near a good Grammar School or migrate to NZ :-) but no guarantees with any of them, you could still get a 'drop out'. You could live the next 16 years totally centred on your daughter and then they go and live in Nepal! So I would do what suits you now.

I will say outside Auckland you are unlikely to be driving them everywhere, better and cheaper sports opportunities, better climate and a social atmosphere not mostly driven by class and income.

Semi-rant over

Peter

Originally Posted by Cindyf67

Good Evening/Morning

I have posted a few posts on here but now our house is going up for sale after Easter, and we have to make a decision with the hope of either a new life in NZ or staying in the UK (albeit in a different area). If we come to NZ it will be v much dependant on a job offer for either myself or my partner. Could I kindly ask a few questions to the helpful people on here.

Originally Posted by LittleGreyCat

Echoing what others are saying - it looks as though you are running away from a situation (mortgage too expensive) and looking for an extreme change.

Running away to somewhere is not usually a good strategy as you are focussed on what you are running from, not where you are going.

As an exercise, look at somewhere else in the UK where you can afford to live and then (if possible) visit Wellington for at least 3 weeks to see how you feel about living there. You may find that it fulfils all your dreams, or you may find that it doesn't offer as much as you expected.

We looked at Wellington back in the '80s and met some Dutch people who loved it there(friends of some Dutch friends). However they were comparing it to Holland and they loved the lack of regimentation and the freedom to just go to the beach and swim or launch a boat. They saw positive improvements over their old life style.

We were living by the sea in Suffolk so access to a beach wasn't a problem. We had moved from the side of a valley in Derbyshire so weren't keen to go back to somewhere you needed to rope together to mow the grass. So we didn't see the same improvements in life style. We wanted to move to Auckland, but that was before most of the jobs were in Auckland. So it never happened.

Practical approach: list your top 10 reasons for moving from where you live. See how many of those items you can sort by moving in the UK, and see how many you can sort by moving to Wellington.

Some people move to NZ and love it; others think that NZ is full of magic fairy dust which will solve all their problems and then find it is just another nice place full of nice people, much like home, and that the problems they thought they had left behind have come right along with them.

Originally Posted by PB65

Taking the thread title literally if you are terrified then maybe the answer is to plan a trip to NZ to see for yourself as opposed to what you may have seen on TV. Granted a holiday not same as living somewhere but at least you wont get off the plane having migrated and think what have we done especially given getting employment offers in advance is generally always a challenge for anyone.

Originally Posted by Cindyf67

Thank you, that is what we are hoping to do once the house is sold, as you say we may feel completely different once we are in NZ. I like a busyish town life where my partner is more of a quieter person, but we will try to pull in the middle if at all possible - the main concern for us (other than acquiring employment), is my little one has lots to keep her busy.

Originally Posted by KOH2

Some good advice on here Cindy. I'm also terrified of moving to NZ but our top reason for it is to be closer to hubby's family - you can't put a monetary value on that and as hubby's getting on a bit we don't have much time to experiment with other places in the UK. If we did that's the first thing I'd do.

Originally Posted by davros1984

Cindy, having been to NZ and come back, I'd suggest the following.

Give somewhere else a go in the UK first. We moved over to Wales and love it. Everytime we cross the border into England we really feel like we're in a foreign land in terms of the number of cars, select people's attitudes and how much more multi-cultural it is (good for some, not for others). Anyway try elsewhere in the UK, places like Shropshire, the westcountry, Wales, Scotland, Far Up-North and see how you get on. If its still not right - Aotearoa! This will give you more time to research a move to NZ if you really want it. Good luck!

Originally Posted by Moses2013

What I don't understand is why do you want to sell up and move to New Zealand if you aren't even sure what you want? You want to sell your home, have no jobs, no guarantee of residency etc. so I would really take the advice of davros & LittleGreyCat and maybe look at options in the UK where you have better access to the outdoors.[/QUO

Hi, we both want a complete change of lifestyle and living, it is certain aspects that we are not sure about - the move to another country is something we are sure about. The reason I am so apprehensive is/was the education/warmth of housing/things to do for my little one. We are going to look at all angles as suggested by Davros and LittleGreyCat. The UK is changing drastically and I am not sure I want my daughter growing up in the UK as it has really changed in the last five years (my niece is from the UK and lives in NZ now as a NZ citizen, she came back to the UK 2 years ago and saw a big difference, and her parents (my sister) live in a very affluent part of the UK close to London - she is coming back in August for a holiday so I will be curious to see what she thinks now. Our quality of life is paramount to us, also the safety side for our daughter, and when my little one reaches that "age" of going out etc, I will be worried sick and don't want to her to be sheltered in terms of living her life to the full. All the comments are extremely helpful and I am grateful to everyone who has replied. I think we definitely need to come over and see it with our own eyes and we can then make a decision, my partner would move anywhere as it has no ties in the UK, but it is me who is more of an analyst in the whole thing

Originally Posted by LittleGreyCat

Echoing what others are saying - it looks as though you are running away from a situation (mortgage too expensive) and looking for an extreme change.

Hi - yes it may seem like that but we are both adamant we want a life change - but as most people have said it is a very big change, which I understand and the helpful comments of everyone is making me research a little bit more as to what we should do.

Running away to somewhere is not usually a good strategy as you are focussed on what you are running from, not where you are going.

I totally agree, but we will be running as such in whatever we decide to do, we have to move so a move in the UK or to NZ is going to be very different in whatever we decide to do, but I take your good point on board.

As an exercise, look at somewhere else in the UK where you can afford to live and then (if possible) visit Wellington for at least 3 weeks to see how you feel about living there. You may find that it fulfils all your dreams, or you may find that it doesn't offer as much as you expected.

We are hoping to do that, once the house is sold we will be renting in the UK :-( horrendously expensive where we live - we will all then come to NZ to have a look around, as you say it may be our dream but on the other hand may be nothing at all at what we had wanted.

We looked at Wellington back in the '80s and met some Dutch people who loved it there(friends of some Dutch friends). However they were comparing it to Holland and they loved the lack of regimentation and the freedom to just go to the beach and swim or launch a boat. They saw positive improvements over their old life style.

We were living by the sea in Suffolk so access to a beach wasn't a problem. We had moved from the side of a valley in Derbyshire so weren't keen to go back to somewhere you needed to rope together to mow the grass. So we didn't see the same improvements in life style. We wanted to move to Auckland, but that was before most of the jobs were in Auckland. So it never happened.

Auckland is a great place by the looks of things and really does appeal to me, as I work in London and love the buzz of it all, but I can also live in quieter places (not too quiet though!).

Practical approach: list your top 10 reasons for moving from where you live. See how many of those items you can sort by moving in the UK, and see how many you can sort by moving to Wellington.

Most of the reasons we are moving can be sort by the UK to an extent - the UK has changed so much it worries me for when my daughter is older - the UK is a great place to live and we are very lucky to live here, but it is full to the brim and I am unsure of the future for my daughter.

Some people move to NZ and love it; others think that NZ is full of magic fairy dust which will solve all their problems and then find it is just another nice place full of nice people, much like home, and that the problems they thought they had left behind have come right along with them.

Originally Posted by Cindyf67

We have a 4 year old daughter. I am a legal secretary in the City which I love, my partner is a HGV driver and trainer. We are hoping to come to Wellington (I have a niece there). We will both work as we do now in the UK.

Originally Posted by Cindyf67

Are the schools good? Is there a lot to do for children i.e. Playcentres, climbing clubs, gymnastics clubs, adventure parks? Is it easy to make friends? Are the after school clubs/holiday clubs enjoyable for children. My reason for asking is that our little one is very active and doesn't like being couped up indoors, and a good education is paramount.

Originally Posted by Cindyf67

Are warm homes easy to rent with two cats.

Originally Posted by Cindyf67

Do most of you feel life is better in NZ for children, and as a family.

Originally Posted by simonsi

Much smaller job market here, don't assume a volume of actual advertised jobs will be available for either of your professions - and check the HGV licence requirements very carefully, HGV type licences have time-served periods working up the scale here AFAIK so be careful.

Thank you. I telephoned the driving test centre for HGV vehicles, where my partner would have to take a test (just theory), the lady was v helpful and said once he passes that he can transfer his class 1 here to the equivalent of class 5 in NZ.

Schools are OK, primary schools tend to be heavily zoned but vary, you may ned to choose school first then try to rent in-zone. Depends on how easily you make friends, school age children help as does to prevalence of expats in the classes, my girls have never had any trouble.

Is heavily zoned area based (catchment?). I make friends easily here, just hoping the same applies in NZ if we make the move. That's nice to know your girls settled in easily.


No for two reasons, firstly the average NZ home's "warmth" is heavily governed by the outside temp. Insulation varies but is mostly a lot less than you would expect in the UK. Secondly most rentals default position is no pets, approach on a case-by-case basis but you can't assume again.

Thanks, I looked on trade me today and could see quite a lot don't want pets but as you say, I could work on a case by case basis. As long as I've got heat I'm happy - I will certainly make sure there heating/ventilation and some insulation!

Yes and Yes. My only regret is not moving sooner but then we had spent time in the Middle East and didn't bring an attitude of trying to replicate our UK lives here down to every last detail - if you do you will fail. NZ has different opportunities, if you embrace that then all good (probably).

That is comforting to know. We are both not trying to replicate our lives in the UK. We are not materialistic at all - we would try our best to embrace it all if we do decide to move or lucky enough.

For example we never could find a decent dance school so the girls dropped that as an interest. Balanced by the fact they all love hockey and one is trying out for the NZ U18 Lacrosse team, a sport she would never have had the opportunity to take up in the UK let alone try out for a national team.

That's good to know our daughter hasn't really started any clubs as yet as we're just sorting a theatre school (only local and for fun only) for her. She loves football and I'm sure she would love hockey too. Your girls have done very well.

Its different and unexpectedly so, you have to be flexible.

Originally Posted by Moses2013

What I don't understand is why do you want to sell up and move to New Zealand if you aren't even sure what you want? You want to sell your home, have no jobs, no guarantee of residency etc. so I would really take the advice of davros & LittleGreyCat and maybe look at options in the UK where you have better access to the outdoors.[/QUO

Hi, we both want a complete change of lifestyle and living, it is certain aspects that we are not sure about - the move to another country is something we are sure about. The reason I am so apprehensive is/was the education/warmth of housing/things to do for my little one. We are going to look at all angles as suggested by Davros and LittleGreyCat. The UK is changing drastically and I am not sure I want my daughter growing up in the UK as it has really changed in the last five years (my niece is from the UK and lives in NZ now as a NZ citizen, she came back to the UK 2 years ago and saw a big difference, and her parents (my sister) live in a very affluent part of the UK close to London - she is coming back in August for a holiday so I will be curious to see what she thinks now. Our quality of life is paramount to us, also the safety side for our daughter, and when my little one reaches that "age" of going out etc, I will be worried sick and don't want to her to be sheltered in terms of living her life to the full. All the comments are extremely helpful and I am grateful to everyone who has replied. I think we definitely need to come over and see it with our own eyes and we can then make a decision, my partner would move anywhere as it has no ties in the UK, but it is me who is more of an analyst in the whole thing