BEVS

I have great skin. I just have. I always have had.

Mind you , the older I get, the more I have, the less I like it.

Wrinkly

Persephone

Skin probably
I do seem to be seen as being younger than I am, being small doesn't help. When we moved here someone asked how old I was as people had been talking about how Mr S had got himself a young wife...I am two years older than him And it's not that he looks twenty years older than he is!
Someone else made a comment recently about how I was too young to remember Betamax and VHS videos but Mr S would know about it. Wish I'd asked him how old he thought I was but the conversation had rapidly moved on.

Downside is at work: I sometimes get asked how long I've been qualified. Sometimes it's just interest but it's usually when I'm trying to explain why what they have read on Google is incorrect or why some longstanding myth is wrong. They usually look surprised and become more compliant when I say 18 years

I think I look my age but then we all notice the changes in our own bodies as we age. They are much more noticeable to ourselves than to others. Not liking sunbathing or the tanned look has probably helped a lot, always used sunscreen when outside-pale and interesting is a much better look than pale and interesting with a red nose and cheeks!

And I prefer my right eye-it's better at doing its job than the left which is bloody useless!

Persephone

As for pressure from others: my mother was the most critical person I knew when I was a teenager [and still is], always making little comments about how I needed to lose weight or how fat I was. I never weighed more than 8stones ever and couldn't even be called slightly chubby Always been a size 6/8.
The reason: her side of the family had very skinny legs, Dad's side carry their weight on the thighs. I took after my Dad. To reach her 'perfect size' I'd have had to become severely anorexic, it just isn't possible for me. I can have little body fat anywhere else but there's always some on my thighs.
I realised that some of her issues came more from the breakup of the marriage and her bitterness towards my Dad [he had done nothing wrong] but it did nothing but make me believe she was not someone I could go to for advice or help.
Even at 12/13 I knew her comments were dangerous and unfounded. Good thing my teenage rebellious streak was in full swing and I had friends who were shocked at some of the crap she used to come out with.
Me and my Mam have never been close

That probably comes across as more abusive than it was, it was more like nasty little comments or so called 'advice' that I'd get. She was never any good at any kind of advice looking back!

TommyLuck

Wow

I'm sure your Mum is decent woman otherwise - but this is insane.

Good for you that you spotted this insanity from an early age, seems like it may have even had the benefit of building a bit of character for you. Sadly not all do.

This sort of parenting is, to a degree, mental bullying.

Hell, telling a kid who is genuinely too fat that they're too fat is bad enough, but this is horrendous.

An ex of mine had serious problems of this ilk with her Mum, it turned out after many tears and fairly heated arguments - many of which I was involved in between the ages of 16 and 20 - that the Mum was simply jealous of her artistically talented and very popular daughter.

The Mum's Mum was quite a cruel lady by all accounts and my ex was living her Mum dreams that were never supports whilst she was growing up. So instead of supporting my ex, for some twisted reason would pour scorn on her for any tenuous reason, including telling her she'd be too fat to get leading roles.

Turns out my ex is current doing very well for herself now in acting - the tough gig that it is.

I should also add, that my ex is of only two people I know who is doing what they always wanted to be when the grow up - inspite of her mothers thinly veiled attempts to crush her ambition.

TommyLuck

The photo you posted is certainly an attractive body, IMO.

You are truly never too old. Honestly.

I'm amazed by some of the women in my gym whose faces perhaps give away their years, but have bodies (NOT BEING PERVY!!) that would be mistaken for a 25 year old.

Interestingly, I don't recall seeing or meeting similar minded women as often in the UK - although there was the octogenarian in my gym in London who had limbs like elastic bands - in terms of flexibility, not length or girth.

She used to (and still does, presumably) perform yoga and INCREASED her height by 3 cms after taking it up at the age of 81!!!!!!!!!!!! Simply by improving her core strength and therefore posture.

Having spoken to these women (in NZ) - you get familiar seeing the same people - some never touched a dumbell or used a treadmill until they were in their 40's and had gone through the hard yards of motherhood.

Strong is the new skinny, or so I'm told by these mightly impressive and inspiring women.

Persephone

Thanks Tommy!
That's why I added the bit at the end as she was fine otherwise, maybe always been a bit distant and not the person to go to for advice on anything.

I've always been strong willed and stubborn so I tended to ignore what was said. Though I realise that I was lucky in that, if I'd dwelled on her comments then things could have gone very differently. I have always wondered if jealously was part of it as well as my parents' marriage breakdown. Though she gets on very well with my sister and always has

Even if I was overweight, her comments would have been completely out of order. There are ways to approach delicate issues and ways not to. Telling someone on numerous occasions that 'they look like a house end', they're 'getting fat' or on one memorable occasion 'you can't see her face but you can tell it's P in that photo, look at the size of those thighs' is not it. Especially when that person is a skinny teenager who could not make her 'massive' thighs any smaller without starving herself to a dangerous level.

Haha your exes mother sounds very much like mine though we didn't have the big arguments, I just withdrew from discussing anything with her. She would also try and sabotage attempts to study at times.

I am someone else you can add to your list of people who do what they always wanted to do despite the odd knock back on the way. I decided at around 11/12 and went for it! Still doing it now

What doesn't hurt you, makes you stronger and all that

Persephone

So, is your ex a famous actress now, would we know who she is?

kiwigeordie

Well, I hate to sound bigheaded, but it used to be my looks in general.

When SWMBO first took me home to meet her parents her Mum took her to one side and said, "Ooh! Doesn't he look like Clint Eastwood!"

Unfortunately, I now look more like Vivien Westwood (Google her for a pic if you must) but with less hair and a lot more wrinkles.
Pete

TommyLuck

TommyLuck

Not famous. But given the upward curve in her career path in the past two years or so - I wouldn't be surprised if she becomes public knowledge at least, in time. Her reveiws are consistently excellent and she's currently been cast by a New York stage company and is working over there, so her reputation is now international.

Good luck to her, she is and always was a very talented, versitle actress. She's happy, that's the main thing, but I hope things get better and better for her - she deseves it after all the hard graft she's put in.

Her love is the stage and always has been with the stage and actors of this ilk that they tend to come into public consciousness later in their career, she's 30 so there's time yet.

Not comparing her to them, but think Sir Ian McKellan or Derek Jacobi or Richard Bryers, all classically trained actors who were amazing on stage for years only to become truly 'famous' in a wider sense later in life.

Not saying she'll be as big as those people, mind you and I'm struggling to think of a female equivalent

Also, her parents are both Kiwis - though she was born and bought up in the UK - so if she does go big and is any good NZ will undoubtedly claim her as their own!!



I have admiration for anyone who does what they wanted to do as a kid. Only now am I working out what I should have done, if I knew then what I know now.

Problem is, studying and starting from the bottom again is a problematic task with a mortgage and family to support ... Well, that and I do enjoy what I've ended up doing.

Catchafire

Anna Paquin?

I got invited to an after party by Wendy from Transvision Vamp back in the day. She was smoking hot, but alas my best mate was tripping out on acid and I had to take care of him......b$%^$#d.

*sigh* Those were the days!

scrubbedexpat094

I've been told my best bits are my eyes, my smile & my boobs are my best bits. Afraid I don't like much of me really. I dream of being able to afford some plastic surgery.

Hebe

I have always been active but mainly cardio. Been doing CrossFit for just over a year now and love it. Never been stronger - I also have a great arse for a woman of a certain age!!

pippalonghorn

Sounds like you have loads of great bits Hun.

scrubbedexpat094

Thanks Pip (can I call you Pip??, I love that name), I was feeling a lot sorry for myself on Friday as I had an operation on Thursday. Feeling better today after sleeping all day yesterday .

I like my smile best.

Was going to give you some karma for that but I've got to spread it around!