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Talking ourselves out of it!!

Talking ourselves out of it!!

Old Jan 16th 2008, 9:35 pm
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Unhappy Talking ourselves out of it!!

Did anybody else find themselves doing this??

We have the job offer which is a good start. But now the initial excitement has worn off and we start looking into the process we seem to be beginning to doubt whether or not it is the right thing to do. The financial cost of the process, what happens if we don't like it when we get there and can't afford to come back??

We have read both positive and negative comments about moving to New Zealand but is it normal to have these kind of feelings about the whole thing?? Really feel confused and quite down about it now
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Old Jan 16th 2008, 9:51 pm
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Unhappy Re: Talking ourselves out of it!!

Originally Posted by samsuth View Post
Did anybody else find themselves doing this??

We have the job offer which is a good start. But now the initial excitement has worn off and we start looking into the process we seem to be beginning to doubt whether or not it is the right thing to do. The financial cost of the process, what happens if we don't like it when we get there and can't afford to come back??

We have read both positive and negative comments about moving to New Zealand but is it normal to have these kind of feelings about the whole thing?? Really feel confused and quite down about it now
been there and got the tee shirt, i my self have a good job offer in NZ and currently going through a PR appliaction, i myself am having doubts as i will be leaving behind my 2 children, i have a son 20 ,who as a good job and just bought a flat,he is also a boxer and represented wales in the youth so i have no problems him taking care of himself and work wise he a sparky, but my daughter is in uni she's just 18, i will be leaving her what i feel is all alone, and im torn between the two, don't want to leave her and don't want to miss out this chance, but all i can say that i cannot give any advice because i am also stuc, but i would like to say this if you don't go wash it stright out of your head and get on with your life you should not dwell on what if this and what if that, hope this helps a little as i would like some guidance
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Old Jan 16th 2008, 10:48 pm
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Default Re: Talking ourselves out of it!!

we had lots of doubts too...all the family in the uk...didnt know anyone in nz....but at the end of the day, if you dont take this opportunity whilst its there, you might always regret... there were reasons for you to start the process to begin with so think about those...im sure youll love the lifestyle etc here but it is different to the uk. you need to try to be positive.........and if u hate it, move on!!!!!! (but im sure u wont!!!) hope that helps a bit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old Jan 17th 2008, 2:01 am
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Default Re: Talking ourselves out of it!!

Originally Posted by samsuth View Post
Did anybody else find themselves doing this??

We have the job offer which is a good start. But now the initial excitement has worn off and we start looking into the process we seem to be beginning to doubt whether or not it is the right thing to do. The financial cost of the process, what happens if we don't like it when we get there and can't afford to come back??

We have read both positive and negative comments about moving to New Zealand but is it normal to have these kind of feelings about the whole thing?? Really feel confused and quite down about it now
Yeah, think most people do, its only human nature! Its all exciting when you make that big decision and step to go for it, you get the job sorted out then you realise thats only the start of it, and the visa/residency application takes time and you initially want to get here so quickly and it will take you months, then you have to almost stop your life in the UK and tidy everything up then come here, and start it all again, andyou start to get nervous as its a big step outside your comfort zone.

Bit chill, take a deep breath and sit down again and work out why you want to move and why you wish to come to NZ, write them down on a bit paper somewhere and keep it in a drawer, maybe even do a home vs NZ comparison and write down the benefits of coming here, and when you feel like this, go have another look at it and focus on why you guys want this.

For what its worth, having been here since October, I still wonder if its the right thing to do, have left good friends and family and a good lifestyle to do this, but I wanted to do it and took the chance when presented, as I would have kicked myself if I had never tried this, and mostly am loving it so far!!!

Are you coming across on a work to residency visa? It doesn't cost much to process (less than 100 quid) and means you can come over for 2 years and see if its for you, thats what I'm doing, but I know that if at any point I decide this isn't for me, thats its only a flight home to the UK, its not the end of the world and try to look on it as a big adventure, a chance to do something 99% of the rest of the UK population would dearly love to be able to do but won't or can't take that first big brave step you have done
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Old Jan 17th 2008, 3:56 am
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Default Re: Talking ourselves out of it!!

It's easy to talk yourself out of it - it's by far the easiest option just to stay put.

I left a lot of family and friends behind - like pretty much everyone has done. Then there's the financial costs and the fear of failure to adapt etc. Thing is if you've got this close to coming and don't, it could be a decision you regret for the rest of your life. If you do come and it doesn't work out long-term/permanently at least you've given it a go and it will have been a good experience (at least in parts). Far better regretting doing something than regretting doing nothing at all.

Still your decision at the end of the day and all the best in making the right one for you. NZ is bloody brilliant though!!!
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Old Jan 17th 2008, 4:20 am
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Default Re: Talking ourselves out of it!!

Originally Posted by samsuth View Post
Did anybody else find themselves doing this??

We have the job offer which is a good start. But now the initial excitement has worn off and we start looking into the process we seem to be beginning to doubt whether or not it is the right thing to do. The financial cost of the process, what happens if we don't like it when we get there and can't afford to come back??

We have read both positive and negative comments about moving to New Zealand but is it normal to have these kind of feelings about the whole thing?? Really feel confused and quite down about it now
You might regret coming here and go back. You might regret not coming here and find you can't come at a later stage. It's wonderful here but is what you make it- come with a determined attitude and an open mind and paradise is here for the taking
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Old Jan 17th 2008, 8:56 pm
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Default Re: Talking ourselves out of it!!

Yes. It's totally normal. You'll be up and down like a fiddlers elbow. Fasten the safety harness. It's a roller coaster ride you are about to start, but an exciting one.
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Old Jan 17th 2008, 10:25 pm
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Default Re: Talking ourselves out of it!!

Originally Posted by samsuth View Post
Did anybody else find themselves doing this??

We have the job offer which is a good start. But now the initial excitement has worn off and we start looking into the process we seem to be beginning to doubt whether or not it is the right thing to do. The financial cost of the process, what happens if we don't like it when we get there and can't afford to come back??

We have read both positive and negative comments about moving to New Zealand but is it normal to have these kind of feelings about the whole thing?? Really feel confused and quite down about it now
Hi, if you have such doubts I would suggest you think very hard about the move. I think you have got to REALLY, Really want to do this to have the best chance of success, its a bit like marrying someone you are not sure about, okay you can return home or get a divorce but why do something that you are not sure about?? It is a VERY hard thing to do, what gets most of us thru' maybe is that most of us really want to be here....if it still does not work out at least you gave it a go under the best circumstances. Purely my opinion having been thru the migration mill.

I am surprised to see that a number of posters had doubts about the move but still came..VERY brave!!! Never had one genuine doubt about what we did and never have in 3 years. Good luck where ever you end up.

PPS Pros and cons list can really focus you!!

Last edited by Genesis; Jan 17th 2008 at 10:29 pm.
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Old Jan 17th 2008, 10:42 pm
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Default Re: Talking ourselves out of it!!

Don't let go of your dreams. If you have determination and belief in your dreams, you will succeed in spite of your desire to let go.
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Old Jan 18th 2008, 3:07 am
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Default Re: Talking ourselves out of it!!

Originally Posted by Genesis View Post
Hi, if you have such doubts I would suggest you think very hard about the move. I think you have got to REALLY, Really want to do this to have the best chance of success ...... why do something that you are not sure about?? ........I am surprised to see that a number of posters had doubts about the move but still came......
Perhaps that's more about outlook and perspective than anything else though. I doubt and question everything I do- I am a terrible sit on the fencer and I don't think I've ever done anything I was 100% sure of .....

and I'm happily married, with two kids living in New Zealand
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Old Jan 18th 2008, 3:43 am
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Default Re: Talking ourselves out of it!!

I have to say that I know exactly where you're coming from. I was fired up to go, then had doubts, then fired up, then had doubts sooooo many times that it all got a bit daft. I am like bourbon-biscuit and seem to sit on the fence about everything - including our preparations to move here.

If we had done like my wife wanted, and sold the UK house then, and shipped the cash over here then, we'd be sorted. (12 months ago the UK housing market was still OK, and the exchange rate was $2.84 to the pound - now a slower market and $2.50 to a quid = erk! ) I was too reticent, and wanted a bit of UK security, so we didn't.

1 year in and I am loving it here. It is very nearly perfect for me personally. I suppose for me that is enough. I have faced the 'what if' and I now know that we made the right choice - at least in the short term and hopefully in the longer term.

However, I feel that I made the right choice for me re the UK house, as if it did go tits uppermost we weren't stranded here. My own lifeline I suppose. My OH was just keen as mustard to get out here, house or not!

In the past 12 months I have only had one 'OMG, what the **** have we done' moment and that was 3 days in. Other than that, I've yet to look back and think that this was the wrong thing to do. Yes, we've had hard and uncertain times, but I haven't wanted to jump on a plane to just get away from it all.

Overall, it's up to you and yours, but I have to say that I am very pleased that I have done this, and have not regretted it. I think if I hadn't, I know I would still be doing the same old same old, just like my mates are still doing in the UK right now. Not that it's a bad thing, but on a balance of here or there, I'd rather the 'different new' of NZ, than the 'same old' of Southend.

Good luck to you.
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Old Jan 18th 2008, 5:38 am
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Default Re: Talking ourselves out of it!!

Originally Posted by samsuth View Post
what happens if we don't like it when we get there and can't afford to come back??(
If at all possible at least try and leave some money untouched that will allow you to bail out if it all goes wrong.
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Old Jan 18th 2008, 12:45 pm
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Default Re: Talking ourselves out of it!!

Everyones situation is different, whats right for one isnt right for another, we went to NZ 6.5 years ago, and returned to the UK 5 years ago, my only regrets in going to NZ and subsequently returning are:

1) Selling our house in the UK prior to leaving - had we of rented it we would have had capital to return to instead of a housing market that had almost doubled in the time we were away, and unable to leap back onto that ladder

2) The unsettlement we now feel having lived in another culture and experienced life "outside the box" so to speak. Who knows where we may end up.....

Even if it isnt right for you the experience is IMHO priceless, we certainly view things in the UK very differently.

You have to take stock of things, the grass isnt always greener, but life is what you make it, be it in the UK, in NZ or wherever. Just bear in mind that its not the land of milk and honey - there is no place if there was we would all be there, but its what suits you/your family and what you want from life. Just to say that my time in NZ was great, and its a beautiful country.
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