Dorothy

There's already so much self blame/shame for those who are left behind that they certainly don't need to have all the details spread throughout the media so strangers can speculate on the circumstances.

Genesis

No, but it is very hard being a remote father these days. I would have wanted and liked to be with my kids every day of their lives. To be there for them in the good days and in the bad too. Alas her indoors had other plans that I was not included in!

Thus I live in a wee bit of a parental limbo. We all expect to see our kids move on at 17/18 plus. But 10,10 and 12 to loose so much time with them is shite.

However, back to the point, if I ever thought anyone was at risk of suicide I would take some action.

Charismatic

There won't be a right or wrong way to report suicide. The media loves the sensationalism of harrowing, miserable and tragic narratives that pull at the heart strings while selling clicks/advertising space. Surely the last thing we want is each story dissected for public gratification and possibly encourage others.

As Pulaski points out people kill themselves for all sorts of reasons and often no perceptible reason at all. It's not cookie cutter or rational. For most of us non-professionals there is little to be gained trying to analyse individual cases. Statistics are collected, reports are published and research is released which more than sufficiently covers the topic.

If you want to talk about being a happier, more prosperous society that's a national conversation much more likely to have a productive outcome.

MrsFychan

What needs to be discussed is the need for better education and more help centre that actually help, more specialised people in that area.

pippalonghorn

Hi Guys. Some on here already know me but for those who don't I lived in NZ a couple of years ago where I worked in a homeless shelter as a Counsellor. Yes the suicide problem is huge in NZ but it is also the same in other countries. The difference is that other countries are open and talk about their statistics. In the UK we now have a huge increase in teenage boys taking their own lives (or attempting to). It is terribly sad. I now work in schools as a Counsellor and I hope the programmes that I deliver will help these young people. NZ need more mental health awareness programmes. It may be the "she'll be right!" attitude that prevents this from happening. Well this attitude does not help at all. I do believe it is only a matter of time before things start to change for the better. I feel like coming back to NZ and shouting it from the rooftops!

Awareness education needs to start with children as young as 9 years old. The world is changing (social media, etc) and children are more advanced at a young age these days. Gentle education in primary schools is essential.

SSky

Not to be able to actually print the word suicide in the cause of death is silly, like it didn't happen. No one normal wants gory details but the press should be able to say it was a suicide.
Hiding the problem doesn't make it go away, it just makes it fester away and not be addressed.

Pulaski

But on it's own it can mean so many completely different things, and without more information it would just invite idle speculation, and nobody wants to give more information, so saying "suicide" is just a step onto a slippery slope.

SSky

There's idle speculation anyway though isn't there so putting it in print wouldn't make any difference.

BEVS

To me the word suicide means intentionally and voluntarily terminating your own life. It doesn't mean anything else at all in my mind.

Mostly it is reported as 'no suspicious circumstances' or similar .

Hopefully NZ will address the problem of a rising rate of suicide .

Pulaski

Well it means one thing, but the circumstances can vary so very much, as I said in post #6 above, it's like saying someone died of "cancer" - it is technically correct, but there is so much more of the story that is missing from that one word description.
Agreed, but understandably people don't like washing their dirty laundry in public.

BEVS

Which is true , however the meaning of the word suicide & the intent remains the same regardless of the chosen circumstances. It is suicide.

It isn't 'dirty laundry'.

This topic is actually about the high and climbing suicides rates in New Zealand.
It is about how this subject is not being aired. It is not about how individual suicides are or are not reported in the local NZ media nor about how those who lose loved family members to suicide wish to have their personal affairs respected.

It is about the whole issue , across the board.

It is not shameful. It is not dirty. It is a rising problem.

Pulaski

"Dirty laundry" wasn't the best choice of words but while society might benefit from more openness around the subject of suicides, individual families surely don't want a media spotlight shining on their family during their time of grief.

BEVS

This is about how the issue of suicide is managed here in New Zealand. That doesn't have to mean that individual cases are placed in some sort of spotlight, unless they wish it to be. I'm not sure why anyone would think that bereaved families could be forced into that somehow.

Here in New Zealand we not only have socio/economic issues to consider we also have cultural differences .

Regardless, NZ is experiencing a rise in suicides.

Dorothy

Dirty laundry? Jesus wept! Could you be any more of an ass? My son's suicide was not "dirty laundry". I have no shame in saying that he hung himself. In a public toilet block. Alone and on a cold and rainy night/early morning. We don't know exactly how long he was there before he was found.

And how exactly do you know what families of suicides want? Please don't presume to speak for me or my family. Or for the other families I've met over the past 3 months.

SSky

I can't imagine what you went through Dorothy, I'm so sad reading this, I'm so sorry for your loss.
I have three sons myself and one of mine tried to stab himself when he was having psychological problems and on the way home from the hospital he tried to jump out of my moving car. Drugs were his demons, he had just totally screwed up his head with them.
We got through it though thank god but at times I despaired.