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story to tell...some questions as well...

story to tell...some questions as well...

Old Dec 17th 2009, 6:43 am
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Default story to tell...some questions as well...

my husband and i and my 4 year old son went to baby factory and as usual parking is not so easy especially at this time of the year..there was this car ahead of us who wanted us to move back as he wanted to take a parking space that was about to be vacated by somebody else which is just in front of us which is not possible as there is a car behind us as well and he was like two cars ahead already, so we took the space and parked our car. 5 minutes later, one man and 2 ladies came in and i saw them, particularly the man talking to my husband..calling my husband an asshole (sorry for the terms, but this is the actual words that was used by them), and my husband did not recognized the man as the driver of the other car as i said the car was way ahead of us already..so he asked him if he was talking to him..that did he just call him an asshole and the man said yeah..you're an asshole..my husband then explained that you're not supposed to say that to someone you dont know..and that's when he realized that this possibly was the driver of the car. my husband was about to walk away together with my 4 year old son when he heard the remark made by the man, he said " your ****ing bitch son is an asshole" and that made my husband stop and went back to ask him again "did you just call my son an asshole" and then the man looked at our son and pointed at him and said yes he's an asshole..then he bumped his chest into my husband and my husband pushed him away and that started a fight inside the baby factory..the manager then called the police and both were brought to the station for statements. we will be attending the court tomorrow for this..my husband is not a violent man but he is protective of my son and me..and his temper was just provoked by this man when he involved our son.

my question : i know that the police are already involved with the public fight that has happened but my another concern is the man has publicly said nasty stuff in front of my son who hasnt done anything to him.. can i complain of oral defamation or something against this man..or should i just not do anything about it? my son was shocked with what happened as he's never seen anything like it before.

second question : we have just received our ITA and of course, while filling out the expression of interest before, my husband wasnt involved in any fights anywhere in the world, now do i include this in the ITA as well or not? is this considered an offense of NZ law?

i'm just upset with what has happened and the reason for the start of the fight is just a parking space..i mean under five minutes they managed to find another parking space..and if it has bothered them so much they could have just talk to us about it in a nice way.
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Old Dec 17th 2009, 11:52 am
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Default Re: story to tell...some questions as well...

60 odd views and no replies? IMHO I am sorry for what happened but I do think you will have to declare this and it willbe worse for you if you don't.
If it really did transpire exactly as you say then no doubt your OH will come off best out of the situation. It is quite likely that the other party maybe has prior convictions/incidents? Were any staff witnesses? The fact that it happened in front of you and your young son is mitigating circumstances for your OH's reaction. You could also play on feeling threatened as new arrivals etc etc .

Out of interest was this in central Wellington or further out?

I recently experienced a road rage incident (My OH driving) and trust me ignoring them or not responding or rising to what they say is ALWAYS the best policy....obviously once he had been physically touched...he probably had to defend himself and you BUT not making an issue of the rude namecalling originally and just walking away, would be a wiser course in future.
We were on the receiving end of equally coarse language infront of our kids in road rage incident in a middle class suburb of Central wellington. You get a******** the world over and they are best ignored if at all possible. If they were reasonable people they wouldn't be calling the names in the first place.

Last edited by luvwelly; Dec 17th 2009 at 11:55 am.
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Old Dec 17th 2009, 4:37 pm
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Default Re: story to tell...some questions as well...

I think the ITA wants to know if you or your husband have been "charged" with anything, has he been charged? If so, yes it goes on....
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Old Dec 17th 2009, 4:55 pm
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Default Re: story to tell...some questions as well...

Hi

Thats a crap thing to happen and TBH your husband did what most would have done under that stress.

Of course it would have been better to walk away but that isnt always an option when in these situations as the stress and protective nature of things kicks in.

If your husband has been charged and I guess he must have been to need to appear in court then im sorry to say that I think if found guilty this could put a stop to your ITA application.

You will HAVE to tell NZIS as they will find out.

This totaly sucks and please dont shoot the messenger but with immigration picking and choosing and with the lack of work and abundance of applicants id say if found to be charged with a offence related to fighting this wont look good.

As for the 'defermation' thing i would guess not as in the end I guess the fight itself would have been more stressfull to your son than the words he might have heard or even understood and even if you could what would it serve as it wouldnt have any bearing on your husbands percived guilt/not guilty actions.

Hve the police charged your husband based on witness statements ie they have charged him and not the other guy pressing for assult?

All of the above is based on nothing more than my thoughts im no lawyer or immigration expert just little old me.

I really hope that this dosnt ruin your new life before its begun.

All the best and please let us know how you get on.

George

Last edited by george toni; Dec 17th 2009 at 5:08 pm. Reason: thought of the son question so put my thoughts in
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Old Dec 17th 2009, 5:15 pm
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Default Re: story to tell...some questions as well...

What an awful thing to happen. Hope you are coping ok.

I don't know for sure but would guess it would be best to mention it to NZIS and supply all the information.

Hopefully it will go well in court. Being of previous good character and being provoked and feeling his son was being threatened may go in his favour and I guess the other man made physical contact first by bumping his chest and presumable the police got statements from the baby factory staff which would verify your husband's version? But that's my layman's point of view. Would recommend getting a lawyer to represent your husband.

Hope all goes well. How is your son?
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Old Dec 17th 2009, 7:14 pm
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Default Re: story to tell...some questions as well...

Hi,

Sorry to hear of the incident.
Hope all goes well in court, make sure you get a good lawyer. You will have to inform the Immigration as there will be a record of the incident and they will find out, (sorry I know that you do not want to hear that).

Your OH was provoked into this, check out the Crimes Act 1961;
48 Self-defence and defence of another
Every one is justified in using, in the defence of himself or another, such force as, in the circumstances as he believes them to be, it is reasonable to use.

Section 48: substituted, on 1 January 1981, by section 2(1) of the Crimes Amendment Act 1980 (1980 No 63).

I am not a lawyer but have dealings with the above legislation from time to time in the course of my work.
Good luck and I hope that the court sees common sense in that the incident was provoked, and that your OH is of good character etc.

Last edited by garfield250; Dec 17th 2009 at 7:17 pm.
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Old Dec 18th 2009, 5:41 am
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Default Re: story to tell...some questions as well...

thanks for all your replies..
all went well this morning and we didn't "physically" have to go to court..there was a diversion officer to discuss the matter instead of going into the courtroom with the judge, jury..etc,,..and he was really good and kind..and he 100% understood what happened as he was a father as well..as he said, this was a different situation and he was quite shocked with what has happened especially when he knew that our son was only 4 year old and a very minor minor issue for a fight..so we were supposed to donate $300.00 to a charity but because of the situation being "different from others", we just have to donate $50.00 and we asked him as well if this would affect our immigration papers and he said that it wouldn't because it wouldn't be in my husband's records as he wasn't convicted of anything.
yes, this happened in central wellington, along victoria street.. nearly a year here in NZ and only this once have we ever encountered anything like this..but we are still enjoying new zealand and still is happy to be here..
thank you all.
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Old Dec 18th 2009, 8:19 am
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Default Re: story to tell...some questions as well...

That sounds like a sensible way of dealing with it...didn't realise NZ Law ever was so sensible...what happened to the other guy? Very glad it's worked out for you from the look of things.
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Old Dec 18th 2009, 9:28 am
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Default Re: story to tell...some questions as well...

Diversion is designed for these kind of events...gives us all a chance to make a mistake without a stain...I would still check with NZIS though...even if just a general anonymous enquiry to be on the safe side.

What a horrible situation for you all to be in ...good luck
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