klaney2006

Giantaxe it wasn't my intention to apply the above at all. I can only speak in relation to my ex and his previous actions of wanting to go through the courts wanting access and once he receives them, he promptly disappears of the radar again. My ex has had no contact with my child since she was 10 mnths old, now that I am about to get married he has decided the time serves him right to start playing daddy again. This is what is causing me so much hassle and confusion. I am angry at the fact that he feels he can pop up and disappear at will.

He had originally decided to give me permission to leave he has now decided that he wants to be a swine and keep us here knowing full well that he has no intention of visiting her, or being a part of her life. This is just one big game to him at the expense of my child and me financially.

clarissageo

Access and support are two separate issues in the eyes of the law, but in the eyes of some PWC and some NRP's they are not.

There are always countless tales of NRP's that do not have anything to do with their kids through their choice, and because they have made that choice they don't see why they should pay child support. It seems like these are the ones that come and go out of their childrens lives leaving the PWC to pick up the pieces.

It is annoying, and unfair, and is a huge flaw in the legal system that a NRP can control what the PWC does with the child as far as moving etc goes, and yet a NRP can piss off to wherever they want without even telling the PWC or the child what they are doing and no-one can do a damn thing about it.

My ex tried to stop me leaving the UK with my kids...... have we heard from him since we left....... nope, not a phone call, christmas card, birthday card - jack shit.

If the NRP has a good strong relationship with the child then both parties really do need to consider if a move overseas is fair on the child and the well being of that child and its relationship with the family of the NRP and the NRP, but NRP's that try to stop PWC's moving because they are still bitter and want to show they are still in control make me sick.

Giantaxe

True, but studies also show there is also a strong correlation between parents who believe that the custodial arrangements have left it very difficult to continue to have a meaningful part in their child's life and parents who default on their support obligations.

This is why custodial arrangements should be as balanced as possible between the two parents. A parent who feels they don't have a meaningful part of their child's life is much more likely to "piss off" as you put it.

If both parents are active in a child's life, I can certainly see why the non-custodial parent might wish to prevent the child from moving abroad. If the non-custodial has little or no involvement by choice then, yes, coming out of the woodwork to oppose an overseas move is really unacceptable. Remember, however, that lack of involvement is not always by choice.

klaney2006

Well the last few weeks have been a really eventful time .... My Ex has decided he now wants to see his 8 year old child, so he contacted solicitors to go to court. They arranged for a mediation interview at the contact centre on Wednesday this week. Unfortunately it was the same day that my fiance was leaving so I cancelled my appt. Anyway to cut a long story short, I got a phone call from the court mediator to say that my ex had rung up and had started to make a series of excuses. He was stating that he couldn't attend for a varies of reasons (he had to sign on, he was enrolling on a college course, he couldn't afford the train fare, he was doing a security officer course). Bear all this in mind, he's the one who wanted to see his daughter and told the court that he missed her oh so much, he also told the court that he's been sick for the last 8 years so was unable to come and see his daughter but that hasn't stopped him working and going out with his mates. Its laughable in fact its getting funnier and funnier each day. CSA also wrote to me and said they had now issued a warrant out for his arrest for non payment. He then went on to say that he will pay towards the outstanding arrears that he owes. I kind of find that insulting to me as he told lies so that he only had to pay £5 a week child maintenance. Even though he was earning a better income than myself. I'm amazed if anyone can feed a child on £5 a week in the UK. He stated for 8 years that he couldn't afford the five pounds a week to pay me.
Any way we have a court date for the 9th Feb, he has got a whole new set of excuses for that. My solicitor is hopeful as she thinks she can ask the court to give me permission to take my daughter out of the country. I'm not sure whether or not the embassy will accept a court declaration. Can anyone advise me on this please or have obtained one. My ex is playing cat and mouse games, he received my divorce papers in July of last year and is refusing to accept them. Hence the reason why he filed for access in August last year. Its taken 8 years to serve papers as he kept changing NI numbers, changing his name around. Myself and partner just want to get this whole thing over and done with.
Wish me luck for the 9th I'm praying he doesn't turn up and we can continue with our plans to move to the US before 2010.

j19fmm

Good luck

klaney2006

Just a quick update .. I have just had a phone call from the CSA on a Saturday afternoon to say that they can no longer pursue the claim for the arrears and can not go ahead with the warrant for 42 days imprisonment for non payment for my ex husband as he is now claiming benefits. I'm just wondering how much luck has he got. He seems to have more bleedin lives than a cat. When will this ever end, feel like pulling my hair out!!!!!!!!! I so want this to be over and done with ...

j19fmm

Bummer, hopefully courts will see through it all, good luck

klaney2006

Thank you hun, I have my fingers and every other part of my body crossed.

j19fmm

So quick update on todays first appearance in Court. QUICK!!! Met with my Solicitor,she spoke with Ex's Council, CAFCASS officer asked if we would meet up to discuss matter, I said Yes, Ex said no as he's too stressed. Very quick appearance in front of a lovely Judge (think it was Father Christmas actually) My Solicitor requested a Section 95 (I think) which means that instead of CAFCASS seeing the kids they are appointed a Guardian who will spend more time talking to them and finding out exactly what they want. Ex is given 21 days to reply to my statement and add anything else. We have also submitted another piece from my daughter - a power point she made for the Solicitor!
Basically it means they are taking the request seriously and not just dismissing it at the first hurdle. Won't hear anything more til May now, but we're moving forward. Fingers crossed, and thank you so much to everyone who's sent support so far.

klaney2006

Great News ... Finger are crossed for you hun.

weejie

Fingers and everything else xd. Drink waiting on you in the bar when you need it a belated Happy Birthday for yesterday

Phyl x

BEVS

As you know I only pop in if and when right now, but this quickly sounds promising .
fingers crossed.

j19fmm

Thanks Bevs, touched you can find the time at the moment,chin up x

Spoke to my son about it last night and he refuses to speak to the Guardian at all. I said he could say anything he wanted but a definate NO from him. Perhaps I'll get him to write a letter instead, it certainly helped my daughter to make sense of things in her head.

j19fmm

Hey all, had my meeting with CAFCASS today,it was fine! Despite being warned they could be horrible it was a lovely lady very easy to talk to. Trouble is after my 1 1/2 hour interview I came out feeling I hadn't really explained how I would feel if we weren't allowed to go. My solicitor tells me I'm always making light of things, trying not to be confrontational. The Guardian next comes to the house to see us and the children in the Easter holidays. Son still says he won't talk to her, he may change his mind when he finds out she's not scary!
How's everyone else doing?

BEVS

Glad the meeting went well. Still got me fingers crossed.