clarissageo

Dont let anyone make you feel negative - re read this whole thread - these are the only argumentative comments in what?? 4 months????

Keep positive, hold your head up high, and don't let anyone make you think you are not doing the right thing

Giantaxe

I expected to be at one point, so I did a lot of research and soul searching into this issue. I've also seen this play out with a couple of acquaintances. In one case, mother wanted to go back from the USA to England with her kids. Husband objected and the mother ended up going back without them. Kids are adults now and one of them very clearly harbours resentment that her mother "abandoned" her. Both kids are very happy living in the US, although one of them has recently expressed a desire to spend a year living in England. Additionally, with the US being such a large place, I've seen many situations where my daughters' friends have ended up with parents 3000 miles apart. It's almost never easy on the kids whatever the resolution is and all too often one or other parent ends up feeling hard done by by the decision.

e_tan_e_epitas

I have to say I am in the position as a father with an ex wife emigrating with children, in this case to OZ. My wife had an affair with her boss and has since married him, despite it being in the childrens Statement I am not allowed to see my child over night but I see my daughter as often as I can at least every other Saturday and I go to school things as much as possible. Despite the fact that I am devastated at the thought of her being 10000 miles away I have given my permission. This was pragmatic based upon the fact that I had no realistic chance of winning a court case and that she hopefully will have a better life in OZ () my d aged 9 has already said to me that "I wouldnt want to stop her having a better life" and I know that my ex would turn it into a battleground. Yes I know that skype/msn/email is a wonderful thing but can one of you tell me how I cuddle my daughter via the net. I now have a partner and "step" daughter can I reasonably say to them that we can never have a family hol of our own because Im going to OZ?
I'm not trying to say that the ex spouses mentioned arent arses but that you (collective) are in danger of making sweeping generalisations or that a counter is purely arguementative

purple80

I have been following this thread and just wanted to add my good news, today my husband and I were granted leave to remove my three step children to Canada.

Very long story.....

My OH and his ex separated, she abandoned children, I have brought them up since they were, 2, 3 and 5, she has had limited sporadic contact with them for the last 6 years, pays no financial support, has not played an active role in their lives.

Short version is that for the last year and a half we have been planning to move to Canada, we consulted with bio mum who signed Removal From Jurisdiction, we put in place a Contact Agreement, she was in full agreement to the move.

Hubby found a job quickly and moved to Toronto in March, mine and the chidren's flights were booked for 3rd August. 7 weeks before we were due to leave middle child had a wobble about the move to Canada, bio mum immediately and without talking to us made the decision that she should go and live with her.

She withdrew consent for middle child to leave.....

We are now 6k lighter, had been stressed, but today we had our final hearing and were granted leave to remove all three children. It has been a hard process but was well worth it, trying to imagine arriving with only 2 children broke my heart.

I know each case is individual, but just wanted to share and bit of good luck around.

Charlie

squiddley

Congratulations on your success...I suppose it can be a long road,and an expensive one...
When i started this thread my wife and i were also filled with alot of fear and uncertainty...Thinking shit......
Every story is different,and we consider ourselves to be very lucky with our out come as it didnt cost us a great deal financially..Emotionally YES...

It does make you sit and think about other people and what they are going through...Wouldn't it be a much easier situation,if emotions could be put to one side and sort things out like adults..
We still have lots of things running through our heads,especially as I will be leaving my sons with my ex-wife...But thats another story.....

j19fmm

Congratulations Charlie, Hope you have a wonderful new life in Canada

purple80

Thank you.........

Mama40

Yes congrats, always good to hear a positive outcome

Just a quick update - sent letter telling ex about NZ on Saturday and asking if he will sign to let them go. Haven't heard anything back yet?! I presume this means he's getting legal advice. I was expecting fireworks. I gave him 14 days to respond so I guess I shall just keep waiting......

j19fmm

Keeping fingers crossed for you Jenni, good luck

Mama40

Ok finally go a letter from his solicitor - he dosn't agree to them going (shock) cos he says he's worried about contact (boys refusing to see him anyway) says if I don't tell his solicitor we won't go then his solicitor will advise him to 'issue an application to vary the existing residence order and also to apply for a prohibited steps order'. As I said it was expected but I'm still pretty down about everything I have to do to stop him controlling my life.

j19fmm

Got your email Jen, too right bring it on. With the age of your lads and your job offer etc. sure you'll be fine. Chin up

clarissageo

I know its easier said than done, but its all pretty standard stuff really. Any solicitor would tell their client to do the same thing, wether they actually wanted residency or not - when it comes to a final hearing they appear to have done everything they can.

Have you had a consultation with a solicitor?

Mama40

i did see a solicitor who told me the same as you guys, gathering evidence of everything etc. I'm really wondering how we are going to afford this as that one hour appt cost me over £300. He estimated the whole thing would cost us over £6000. That's going to eat up our New Zealand money savings and leave us in debt
I know we can win in the end but I'm wondering how we can afford to. We can't progress until its sorted, except I was wondering if we could still go ahead with medicals and if there's anything else we can do while it's going on?

j19fmm

Jen, I'd be careful about doing the medicals as they only have a shelf life of 3 months. Guess he's hoping you'll worry about the money and give in. Sorry can't remember how old your youngest is (of EX's children)? At the worst you'd have to wait til he was 16 and then you won't need permission.Can EX afford the court fees?

Mama40

youngest is 12