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To stay or to leave

To stay or to leave

Old Oct 21st 2005, 3:38 am
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Unhappy To stay or to leave

Hi all.

We've just come back from 5 weeks in the UK (we got married) ..and the slight feeling of homesickness we had before we went home is here in waves. We've been living in Wellington for around 2 yeras now. When we were first at home I have to say we were keen to get back to NZ and could see all of the positives that we have over here. But as the weeks went by and all things familiar started to kick in...God its hard!! Its also so far away. We spent six moths discussing weather we really wanted to stay or not. We have a great lifestyle here, earn good money and enjoy the kiwi way of life....BUT we miss friend and family so much and something is missing.

sorry for ranting..but can anyone relate??
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Old Oct 21st 2005, 4:47 am
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Default Re: To stay or to leave

Originally Posted by Taslim
Hi all.

We've just come back from 5 weeks in the UK (we got married) ..and the slight feeling of homesickness we had before we went home is here in waves. We've been living in Wellington for around 2 yeras now. When we were first at home I have to say we were keen to get back to NZ and could see all of the positives that we have over here. But as the weeks went by and all things familiar started to kick in...God its hard!! Its also so far away. We spent six moths discussing weather we really wanted to stay or not. We have a great lifestyle here, earn good money and enjoy the kiwi way of life....BUT we miss friend and family so much and something is missing.

sorry for ranting..but can anyone relate??
I can understand how you feel, and is something that I struggle with every day, and wake in the night, but only been here 6 months so told this is all natural and I will get over it....

I have a 3 yr old who packs his bag every day to see grandparents...and today asked me if his cousin doesn't come to see him because he has been naughty...which adds to my upset in being here. With children it is much harder to consider the options...as this obviously pulls on my heart strings

We have financial problems in being here so only compounds the homesickness, so I dont know how for you you make a decision....yes you are having a great lifestyle...but it is not enough right now for the 2 of you is it.... I can only say that if you have been thinking about it for 6 months already then maybe you will need to make it a serious consideration for the future...we are...but at least having the summer round the corner may make you see things differently in a few months time, or you will be more determined than ever. Every country has its ups and downs....and 12000 miles is a very very long way.....If you feel that being with the people that you love and visa versa...that feeling will only get stronger....so keep talking to your partner....together you will work it out..

And many congrats on getting hitched.....focus on the future now.
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Old Oct 21st 2005, 5:10 am
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Default Re: To stay or to leave

Originally Posted by melting pot
I can understand how you feel, and is something that I struggle with every day, and wake in the night, but only been here 6 months so told this is all natural and I will get over it....

I have a 3 yr old who packs his bag every day to see grandparents...and today asked me if his cousin doesn't come to see him because he has been naughty...which adds to my upset in being here. With children it is much harder to consider the options...as this obviously pulls on my heart strings

We have financial problems in being here so only compounds the homesickness, so I dont know how for you you make a decision....yes you are having a great lifestyle...but it is not enough right now for the 2 of you is it.... I can only say that if you have been thinking about it for 6 months already then maybe you will need to make it a serious consideration for the future...we are...but at least having the summer round the corner may make you see things differently in a few months time, or you will be more determined than ever. Every country has its ups and downs....and 12000 miles is a very very long way.....If you feel that being with the people that you love and visa versa...that feeling will only get stronger....so keep talking to your partner....together you will work it out..

And many congrats on getting hitched.....focus on the future now.

Thanks for your kind words...you know, my nieces called on Monday in tears because they missed me...It is hard. We had a great lifestyle in the UK..so I don't know...Its a big decision..and we do want a family. I'm not sure that I could cope with having kids without a support system. But I don't want to limit my husbands opportunities (which are great here) by going home.
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Old Oct 21st 2005, 5:37 am
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Default Re: To stay or to leave

Originally Posted by Taslim
Thanks for your kind words...you know, my nieces called on Monday in tears because they missed me...It is hard. We had a great lifestyle in the UK..so I don't know...Its a big decision..and we do want a family. I'm not sure that I could cope with having kids without a support system. But I don't want to limit my husbands opportunities (which are great here) by going home.
What are your husbands thoughts, and what is it that your husband does for work that couldnt be done in the UK. !..are you both english ?....and what made you come here ? just asking as to see what it is you think you need to evaluate again
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Old Oct 21st 2005, 9:30 am
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Default Re: To stay or to leave

Hey Congrats on getting married!!

Yes I can relate...but we have only been her since June so still pretty homesick. I miss my family and friends so much....if I think about them all I cry so I am learning to push it from my mind and concentrate on what I have to do here.

We didnt sell up at home so we still have an escape route if necessary. We said we would rent for 2 years in NZ and then decide what we want to do. We just try to see it as a 2 year experience.

I can see exactly why either country would appeal....they are both beautiful places.... We are up in Auckland and the winter we have just had here was almost like UK summer!! I would hate to go back to the long cold grey months of UK winter... thats almost enough reason to stop me going back!! Everyone says we are so lucky to be here.... I feel we are lucky but yes we have all the usual moans of Auckland living...things we werent told about beforehand....its gonna be a hard decision for you.......maybe enjoy the summer here and then make a decision after that?

I see what you say about not having any support if you had a family...but honestly everyone Ive met here has been through my little boy. We are maybe thinking of expanding our family but know that financially it would make things even harder... and that I'd have no help apart from the friends I've made here....hard one eh??

I hope you make the right decision for you....good luck!!

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Old Oct 21st 2005, 10:28 am
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Default Re: To stay or to leave

Hi Sarah
You say that you've just spent winter in AKL and it was just like UK summer (i'm from North East). I'm confused, cos so many posts state how cold it can get and how cold the houses are in NZ
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Old Oct 21st 2005, 11:19 am
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Default Re: To stay or to leave

Originally Posted by Boopy
Hi Sarah
You say that you've just spent winter in AKL and it was just like UK summer (i'm from North East). I'm confused, cos so many posts state how cold it can get and how cold the houses are in NZ
Boopy
Yes.....im gettin the impression WET WET WET
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Old Oct 21st 2005, 2:02 pm
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Default Re: To stay or to leave

Originally Posted by Taslim
Hi all.

We've just come back from 5 weeks in the UK (we got married) ..and the slight feeling of homesickness we had before we went home is here in waves. We've been living in Wellington for around 2 yeras now. When we were first at home I have to say we were keen to get back to NZ and could see all of the positives that we have over here. But as the weeks went by and all things familiar started to kick in...God its hard!! Its also so far away. We spent six moths discussing weather we really wanted to stay or not. We have a great lifestyle here, earn good money and enjoy the kiwi way of life....BUT we miss friend and family so much and something is missing.

sorry for ranting..but can anyone relate??
Hi, we have been in Wellington, just over two years and are only now feeling settled, however lots of friends and family visit. Home will always be England but you can always go back, but look at the number of people that return, then realise their mistake and come back, it is a common problem and one which you have to work through. For us we always said we would at least get our Citizenship and then waht ever happens in the future, the children and us can always live here. Oz, Uk or Europe, without any hassle. Now that is a great thought and one worth hanging in their for.

Cheers Kev
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Old Oct 21st 2005, 6:15 pm
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Default Re: To stay or to leave

Originally Posted by St George Six
Hi, we have been in Wellington, just over two years and are only now feeling settled, however lots of friends and family visit. Home will always be England but you can always go back, but look at the number of people that return, then realise their mistake and come back, it is a common problem and one which you have to work through. For us we always said we would at least get our Citizenship and then waht ever happens in the future, the children and us can always live here. Oz, Uk or Europe, without any hassle. Now that is a great thought and one worth hanging in their for.

Cheers Kev
Great attitude
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Old Oct 21st 2005, 7:04 pm
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Default Re: To stay or to leave

Thanks Guys, Good advice.

Yes we are British...I grew up in London and husbands from the North East. We came out here to see what it was like and just loved it. He can work over there, but in his field (entreprenureship consultant) there just seems to be more opportunity here. He says that he would go if I wanted to..I know he misses home too, but ultimately wants the best for us as a family. I think seeing everyone at the wedding made me realise what good friends we have. and I miss that. Because whilst we've made a great home, got good careers etc. We haven't been able to make lots of friends. Don't get me wrong, we're not billy no mates, but they are limited.

We too have property at home so going back is an option....I like the idea of getting citizenship and then we can live anywhere in the future.....that is a good option.

Any more advice is gratefully recieved.
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Old Oct 22nd 2005, 1:43 am
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Default Re: To stay or to leave

Originally Posted by Boopy
Hi Sarah
You say that you've just spent winter in AKL and it was just like UK summer (i'm from North East). I'm confused, cos so many posts state how cold it can get and how cold the houses are in NZ
Boopy
August was totally gorgeous here....it was warm and didnt rain much. I sat out with some friends in the sun and actually got burnt ...in winter!!! It was one of the 3 mildest winters ever (all 3 been in the last 6 years). Since its turned Spring its rained and rained.....as for cold....I'm the biggest wimp ever but I've worn my coat about half a dozen times since being here.
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Old Oct 23rd 2005, 5:33 am
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Default Re: To stay or to leave

Originally Posted by Pompey_Paul
Yes.....im gettin the impression WET WET WET
Yep - NZ is cold and wet in winter....and often quite windy.
But it's not a patch on the UK winter which is just 11.5 months (slight exaggeration) of bleakness 24/7.
I agree a crisp sunny winters day in UK is gorgeous - but that happens once every 6 weeks at best.
we get plenty of fine winter days in NZ.

Temps in the NZ winter are lot milder than UK - unless of course you go to the deep south.

Give me NZ weather over UK weather anyday.
Give me UK wages over NZ wages anyday.

For the record - I'm in Dubai - no taxes and I haven't seen a drop of rain all year!
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Old Oct 23rd 2005, 9:36 am
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Default Re: To stay or to leave

Originally Posted by Taslim
Hi all.

We've just come back from 5 weeks in the UK (we got married) ..and the slight feeling of homesickness we had before we went home is here in waves. We've been living in Wellington for around 2 yeras now. When we were first at home I have to say we were keen to get back to NZ and could see all of the positives that we have over here. But as the weeks went by and all things familiar started to kick in...God its hard!! Its also so far away. We spent six moths discussing weather we really wanted to stay or not. We have a great lifestyle here, earn good money and enjoy the kiwi way of life....BUT we miss friend and family so much and something is missing.

sorry for ranting..but can anyone relate??
Stay long enough to get IRV and then look at leaving if you feel the same. Consider the effort you went too, to get there.

Just leave the door open for the future.
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