Persephone

Good luck with your decision EdT. It's obviously been very difficult but try not to have any regrets in the future.
The only thing anyone can do is try and do what is best at that particular time

EdT

Thanks Peresphone... appreciate the words of wisdom

My move to NZ was based again on a lot of thought about my future at the time, and the plan to start a family in the 3 - 5 year timeline. I thought arrive in NZ, settle, get good job, start family.... after being here nearly 2 years I have arrived in NZ (obviously), relatively settled and like the place, both got good jobs (by NZ standards), engaged and thinking of children in next 2 - 3 years.... so that was a very well considered plan which sort of worked out.

I just have this niggling doubt that money and the draw of family may become an issue in the future.... and by then these types of career opportunities may not be available....

But then I could have a child, and money will not be an issue as the benefits of a more natural place to bring up a family may outweigh the benefits of a big job where I may be travelling and away from home 1 week every month.

This job is paying a LOT more than I am on here.... but is that really important? Probably a question only I can answer.... but finding very hard to do so right now.

Coleyheb

Hi there,

I'm quite new to the site and due to head out on a visitor visa to join my NZ partner, then take it from there.

The older I have got, the less importance I have placed on money. I agree with Cathcafire's wise words.

I think life is about inner happiness and conentment. To some extent money will secure that for us, but beyond a certain level of monetary wealth the marginal value (in terms of increased happiness) of additional money diminishes, until at some point it will have nil bearing at all....and indeed can sometimes can diminish happiness.

However, having a dream job is a very attractive proposition - especially if your time in that job is happy, enjoyable and satifying, after all we spend the vast majority of our waking lives at work.

How secure is this job in the current financial climate compared to the jobs you currently have?

Just a few thoughts, I don't envy your difficult decision, but wish you luck with whatever you decide!

DennisBergkamp

Hello

Unless i missed something here - you said you arrived in early 2010 and activated PR

Couldnt you possibly hang about until early 2012 and get the RRV with your PR?

Then you can leave and always have the option to return to NZ

Just say to your new employers that you need 3 months to relocate

Good Luck

Perthbum

I think your mind is already made up and probably was before the job offer....no disgrace in wanting to go home.

EdT

Thanks for the responses guys...

Definately want to get Permanent Residency - and have effectivey fulfilled the criteria.You can apply for IRRV or now Permanent Residency from the UK or any other consulate as long as you have fulfilled one of the 5 crtieria...

184 Days in each of the 2 years = DONE

So efffectively I just have to wait until Year 2 milestone and apply from UK (if I left NZ).

EdT

A BIG pull to go back to UK... is family.

My parents are nealy 70, brother has just had first child, partners sister just had first child, Gran is in late 80's etc etc.

No one (with the exception of her Mum) has made any effort to come and see us, and even when we go back I guarantee we will be the ones expected to hire a car and drive the length of the country to visit everyone. That seems to be the reality for many I have spoken to here.... the Expats seem to feel all guilty and the family have a crap attitude that you left UK so you need to make all the effort. That may be quite blunt, and sure family feels the same way as we do missing not seeing each other.... BUT do you give up on all of this (which is quite a selfish move coming to NZ), to go back to UK to be closer to family.... that may at somepoint move themselves.... or regretably pass away..... and would you then look back and feel resentful of giving up the kiwi dream for others.

The career is certainly a big draw.... and there is no doubt that this would be a HUGE springboard for career.... but that in itself will come at a price.... that being that I shall be head down arse in the air for the first year jetting off overseas a lot.... while partner re-configures to life in UK, in the SE, when all our family is from Midlands and North.

jmh

One thing I would say is don't make these decisions based on what others think/feel. You don't know what they are really thinking, and you can't plan for their lives. You're just adding to the confusion in your head.

Do you mind me asking what kind of work you and your partner are in? It may be that you haven't thought of all the possibilities. At the moment you believe your choices are stay or go - there may be other possibilities that you haven't thought of.

EdT

I think a lot of it may be due to the fact that this employer is bending over backwards to get me to join.... this after I pulled out and said I would stay here.... then as soon as I had made that decision, I felt really low as all the other pros of going back to UK plus a great career opportunity where the employer is trying their hardest to attract you....

I need to detach myself from the emotion and try and make as rationale decision as possible.

We do both have good jobs here which are as stable as you can ever expect in todays global economic circumstances. The pay is a third of what the offer in UK is... making that appear to be a BIG factor, or bigger than if it was for a more modest difference. In the future there are options to move to Aus potentially (hence one of the factors being the value of kiwi passport) and I could consult, but this would very likely mean overseas work - maybe Aus again.

My other half just wants to be able to go back to UK every 12 - 18 months.... which before we moved here seemed reasonable. Now that we have got here and understood the costs of doing this, and the importance of using those 20 days holiday more wisely, it is apparent this is not a realistic option..... she then sways back to going to the UK.... but then after only 2 years here, and really liking a lot of NZ, should we just percivere and these pangs to go back to UK will diminish?

Bo-Jangles

Exactly the same here, we thought we'd skip back and forth regularly. How naive were we?

I wonder, can you quantify exactly what you get out of being in NZ that you couldn't get from being in the UK?

For me, it would be an extremely short list.

Nice Guy

Here is the video:

ExKiwilass

I disagree you should be rational. Listen to your emotions, they are telling you something very important about what matters to you. You say you felt low after turning down the job...that's a sign don't you think? If a decision is right, while there might be a bit of 'what if' regret, it shouldn't make you feel low, in my humble opinion

A similar situation happened to a friend of mine. He and his wife were from Europe and were all set to stay in Canada, when he got a fabulous job offer from the UK. He turned it down. Then felt like crap. Then called them 2 weeks later and said, "About that job offer..."

The upshot was they moved back and have not looked back. The only difference is that they have their Cdn passports, but I don't think they're coming back. They have a new life there now and raising their kids there, with much closer access to family.

The thing is, you can always say yes to the job and reassess in 6 months, a year and if it's not floating your boat come back. You'll still be able to return as a PR right?

I have to admit I don't get teh 'it's for the kids thing". NZ is not better for raising kids, it's just different.

EdT

Thanks for some really great advice guys.... really appreciate it.

As a result of this very difficult process, my partner has concluded that she is very keen to stay.... but as kiwilass has highlighted..... the thought of staying at a professional level fills me with a low feeling, almost like I have conceeded defeat and accepting of a sub standard career when I have spent 15 years of hard study to get where I had before coming to NZ.

The thing is to me..... it is important that I get a decent job and salary if I am going to be the main income should we start a family in the short - mid term.

It is interesting as after speaking to a number of Expats this week, most have moved here on the same / consistent salary (so have not taken any hit from the move at a career level) most have paid of a large chunck of their homes here (courtesey of a fx of 2.7 - 2.9 opposed to sub 2.0 at present). I just don't know if I will grow more resentful of NZ for its lack of career opportunities and for not recognising the skills that a majority of the world (and particularly EU) I have developed in my career.

The options seems to be to accept the beautiful NZ and forfeight a career that could be great.... or move back to UK for career, but end up in a 3 bed semi somewhere in the South for GBP300K.

Hmmm... what a decision.

Robbo25

Sounds like things got harder and clearer all at the same time! I can't help being nosey but what industry are you in?

Understand if you don't want to say or I have already missed it.

Expat Kiwi

Yes but you don't have to buy a house in Britain. Why not have the best of both? keep your house on in NZ and get tenants to pay the mortgage for you, meanwhile rent something nice in the UK. Then if you ever do decide to go back to NZ you have a home ready and waiting for you. It also keeps you mobile should you decide to up sitcks and decamp to Australia at some time in the future.

I agree with Kiwilass about NZ not being better for raising kids, just different. Every place has its benefits.