Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
Oct 5th 2011, 7:12 am
#16
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Re: Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
You, or I, have missed the one point....where are you thinking of moving back to?
Oct 5th 2011, 7:18 am
#17
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Re: Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
It will be somewhere in the South East.... so expensive housing.
Some nice areas like High Wycombe, Ayelsbury etc.... within commuting distance to outer london.
Some nice areas like High Wycombe, Ayelsbury etc.... within commuting distance to outer london.
Oct 5th 2011, 7:37 am
#18
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Re: Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
too old now to "want" for mental stimulation from job demands and yes looking for the retirement shed. Thirty years ago would I look at NZ?....I think maybe not I was still happy steering the boat! You know what you have now you don't need to give it up just put it into storage for a few years then go back and collect it. Live your life....all of it....
Oct 5th 2011, 7:52 am
#19
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Re: Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
It sounds to me like you have already made up your mind and need other people to justify it for you.
You shouldn't feel bad for wanting to go back to the UK, plenty do it....and plenty return to NZ.
It's different for everyone, but I reckon you have to go with your gut feeling.
We have been in NZ for only a few months and at the moment we dont regret it one bit, but in the future who knows.
Deep down you surely know what feels right.....
You shouldn't feel bad for wanting to go back to the UK, plenty do it....and plenty return to NZ.
It's different for everyone, but I reckon you have to go with your gut feeling.
We have been in NZ for only a few months and at the moment we dont regret it one bit, but in the future who knows.
Deep down you surely know what feels right.....
Oct 5th 2011, 8:28 am
#20
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Re: Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
I wish I did know what was right..... believe me, this has been an all consuming 3 weeks of flip flopping between the 2 options.... both of which have such strong positives.... both of which will have implications..... I know that is life... and I know I need to make a decision..... I just don't know why this is such a hard decision to make, as I am usually so decisive.
It is probably because I love NZ but I also want to further my career.... and I have spent 10+ years studying in EU.... have qualifications that are not even recognised in NZ but very valuable in EU.... but then I knew that when I came here (well to a lesser degree)... but with family on the horizon.... I need to try and make a decision which is best for my future wife and hopefully children...
If that makes any sense?
It is probably because I love NZ but I also want to further my career.... and I have spent 10+ years studying in EU.... have qualifications that are not even recognised in NZ but very valuable in EU.... but then I knew that when I came here (well to a lesser degree)... but with family on the horizon.... I need to try and make a decision which is best for my future wife and hopefully children...
If that makes any sense?
Oct 5th 2011, 8:40 am
#21
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Re: Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
Thanks for responses so far....
Agreed - Citizenship 5 years. We activated PR early 2010 - so IRRV (or now Permanent Resident) in early 2012... so another 3 years (ish) to be able to apply for citizenship.
The dilemma really is all the things happening in UK with family (as described) plus dream job which would give further opportunity to progress... vs stay in NZ, sacrafice career, miss a lot of family stuff but get kiwi passport.
Both have pro's and con's - almost a perfect balance between the two, and this decision has been a LOT harder than that to leave UK to emmigrate to NZ. I was all for the adventure... I now have a good understanding of kiwi life, some I like and some I don't, I miss UK and also feel all the guilt side of ageing parents and wanting to see as much of them before the inevitable... and my career has almost had one of those parachutes deployed behind a fast car.... almost drawn to a standstill.... which after 15 years of hard study is a tough one to swallow (and I thought there would be more opportunities here in NZ to progress). BUT if I get kiwi passport then I could re-accelerate career (potentially) by moving to Aus in the future....
Such a difficult, difficult decision....
Agreed - Citizenship 5 years. We activated PR early 2010 - so IRRV (or now Permanent Resident) in early 2012... so another 3 years (ish) to be able to apply for citizenship.
The dilemma really is all the things happening in UK with family (as described) plus dream job which would give further opportunity to progress... vs stay in NZ, sacrafice career, miss a lot of family stuff but get kiwi passport.
Both have pro's and con's - almost a perfect balance between the two, and this decision has been a LOT harder than that to leave UK to emmigrate to NZ. I was all for the adventure... I now have a good understanding of kiwi life, some I like and some I don't, I miss UK and also feel all the guilt side of ageing parents and wanting to see as much of them before the inevitable... and my career has almost had one of those parachutes deployed behind a fast car.... almost drawn to a standstill.... which after 15 years of hard study is a tough one to swallow (and I thought there would be more opportunities here in NZ to progress). BUT if I get kiwi passport then I could re-accelerate career (potentially) by moving to Aus in the future....
Such a difficult, difficult decision....
We went through a similar shall we shan't we decision making process to yours and chose to leave - it was the best decision we've ever made.
Your career could well take you to Australia in the future, Australian PR/Citizenship will give you a route back to New Zealand when you feel like taking a step down from the career thing. And if you're thinking of starting a family I have no problems at all with bringing up children here, it's been good for them too.
Oct 5th 2011, 8:42 am
#22
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Re: Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
Your partners preferences? Empty nothing v Active everything or Blissfull tranquility v Congested hell. A Kiwi (ex Brit) once said to me..."If you are the city type then don't come to NZ as here you have to make your own entertainment" Forget your partners words what about real needs.... Is this a combined decision. Backing is sometimes different to real want's.
Oct 5th 2011, 9:47 am
#23
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Re: Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
My partner (bless her) moved to NZ for me..... my job..... which was a BIG thing for her as she is really close to her family. She is quite indifferent about it and can see pro and con of both.
Just need to make a decision.....
Just need to make a decision.....
Oct 5th 2011, 2:26 pm
#24
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Re: Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
Hard one for sure and empathise with lots. I assume you will at least wait to have fulfilled your indefinite returning rights first?
Oct 5th 2011, 7:21 pm
#25
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Re: Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
Fulfilled requirements for indefinate now.. just have to wait for 2 years to come up to apply (184 days in each of 2 x 12 month periods). Spoke with NZIS and they have confirmed that you can apply overseas.
One of my BIG concerns is housing prices in the SE.... and commute times. This is linked with a fundamental fear that I believe the UK property prices are due for a major correction, and I got burnt in 2007, so really can't afford to be burnt again. The SE does however seem to be the only area where property prices are appreciating at present.... but when you see 3 bed semi for GBP300K plus ($600K plus even at todays fx) it is a scary thought going back to that.
This makes me wonder if we should sit it out here 3 more years, get passport, and go from there....
One of my BIG concerns is housing prices in the SE.... and commute times. This is linked with a fundamental fear that I believe the UK property prices are due for a major correction, and I got burnt in 2007, so really can't afford to be burnt again. The SE does however seem to be the only area where property prices are appreciating at present.... but when you see 3 bed semi for GBP300K plus ($600K plus even at todays fx) it is a scary thought going back to that.
This makes me wonder if we should sit it out here 3 more years, get passport, and go from there....
Oct 5th 2011, 7:26 pm
#26
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Re: Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
NZ is a dilemma of career or lifestyle (if you have enough money) unless you are one of the chosen few that seem to have both. The lifestyle is amazing in my opinion especially in Auckland, (my only experience) and you can't have that type of lifestyle in Europe as far as I can see, but you can have a career.
It's all about Ying and Yang I guess.
It's all about Ying and Yang I guess.
Oct 5th 2011, 7:31 pm
#27
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Re: Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
Robbo -
indeed.... career vs lifestyle.... the reason I came here in first place... BUT now I am here, have lived and breathed NZ for nearly 2 years, I understand the compromises a lot more, and also the beauty and lifestyle that NZ certainly offers.
Been up til 3 am this morning trying to make my mind up..... head is TOTALLY cooked.
indeed.... career vs lifestyle.... the reason I came here in first place... BUT now I am here, have lived and breathed NZ for nearly 2 years, I understand the compromises a lot more, and also the beauty and lifestyle that NZ certainly offers.
Been up til 3 am this morning trying to make my mind up..... head is TOTALLY cooked.
Oct 5th 2011, 7:35 pm
#28
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Re: Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
It is a real head job hey? When is your job offer open until? I am guessing if there are two of your working in Auckland though you can have a good lifestyle?
Oct 5th 2011, 8:07 pm
#29
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Re: Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
I pulled out of the job... they are trying to get me to re-consider, and I need to make a decision like yesterday.... LOL
For so many reasons given family events going back to UK may be the best thing... plus career wise it is likely to be the best from a career progression perspective.... I have all that clear in my head.... BUT then when you add cost of living in SE England (particularly housing), traffic in that area every day, partner needing to find work in a depressed labour market.... and of course the benefits of life in NZ including a mid term personal goal of kiwi passport....
Probably only the benefit of hindsight will provide a clear understanding of what is the best option.... then it may be too late as may have burnt bridges with employer or conversely may have burnt opportunities to gain kiwi passport and everything life here has to offer in a more sedate way...
For so many reasons given family events going back to UK may be the best thing... plus career wise it is likely to be the best from a career progression perspective.... I have all that clear in my head.... BUT then when you add cost of living in SE England (particularly housing), traffic in that area every day, partner needing to find work in a depressed labour market.... and of course the benefits of life in NZ including a mid term personal goal of kiwi passport....
Probably only the benefit of hindsight will provide a clear understanding of what is the best option.... then it may be too late as may have burnt bridges with employer or conversely may have burnt opportunities to gain kiwi passport and everything life here has to offer in a more sedate way...
Oct 6th 2011, 12:11 am
#30
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Re: Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
Having a "good career" is not the be all and end all of life.
My brother commutes from Grantham to the City, takes him nearly two hours each way. He leaves home at 5.45am and is lucky to get back before 9pm. He is two years younger than me, but looks ten years older, he recently had a pacemaker fitted and is physically a wreck.
This month is a watershed for me, because it will be 10 years since I left the UK and it took 4 years wandering around the world before ending up in NZ. Do I miss the 10-12 hr days? The big paycheck? Owning 7 different suits? The Audi? Hell no.
We have kids, I work from home, I have time for my wife. I am also earning much less than I did ten years ago, but in all things, I am much richer.
My brother commutes from Grantham to the City, takes him nearly two hours each way. He leaves home at 5.45am and is lucky to get back before 9pm. He is two years younger than me, but looks ten years older, he recently had a pacemaker fitted and is physically a wreck.
This month is a watershed for me, because it will be 10 years since I left the UK and it took 4 years wandering around the world before ending up in NZ. Do I miss the 10-12 hr days? The big paycheck? Owning 7 different suits? The Audi? Hell no.
We have kids, I work from home, I have time for my wife. I am also earning much less than I did ten years ago, but in all things, I am much richer.
