Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
#1
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 38
Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
Hi Forum Members,
I moved to NZ in early 2010 and both my partner and I have found relatively good permanent jobs (very good by kiwi standards). We love NZ, but the costs, fx, missing home etc. play on our minds a lot. This combined with a number of close friends and family in the UK having children, and parents who are sick.... plus the extortionate cost to fly back to UK and the lower number of holidays per year.... has all been stacking up. We love NZ, and the country.... but I wonder deep down inside if in a few years time I will want to stay.... I also think it may be a nice place to retire.... but again this is a long way off.
I have been approached by a BIG global company for the job of my dreams and it would be based back in UK. This job would consolidate 15 years of study (much of which worthless in NZ) and would be a springboard to my career.
So.... do I stay or do I go? This has consumed our lives for 3 weeks... and I just can't reach a decision.... do we stay for another 3 years and get citizenship and then look for a similar job (which may no longer be achievable as I will have been out the industry for 5 years) or do we go.... with Permanent Residency (and the potential risk that changes to this may be imposed in the future)?
Many people I have spoken to say I am thinking about it too much, but the decision can only be described as a perfect balance between staying with a mediocre job or leaving back to the home land for a great career move.
Any advice / thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
Many thanks.
I moved to NZ in early 2010 and both my partner and I have found relatively good permanent jobs (very good by kiwi standards). We love NZ, but the costs, fx, missing home etc. play on our minds a lot. This combined with a number of close friends and family in the UK having children, and parents who are sick.... plus the extortionate cost to fly back to UK and the lower number of holidays per year.... has all been stacking up. We love NZ, and the country.... but I wonder deep down inside if in a few years time I will want to stay.... I also think it may be a nice place to retire.... but again this is a long way off.
I have been approached by a BIG global company for the job of my dreams and it would be based back in UK. This job would consolidate 15 years of study (much of which worthless in NZ) and would be a springboard to my career.
So.... do I stay or do I go? This has consumed our lives for 3 weeks... and I just can't reach a decision.... do we stay for another 3 years and get citizenship and then look for a similar job (which may no longer be achievable as I will have been out the industry for 5 years) or do we go.... with Permanent Residency (and the potential risk that changes to this may be imposed in the future)?
Many people I have spoken to say I am thinking about it too much, but the decision can only be described as a perfect balance between staying with a mediocre job or leaving back to the home land for a great career move.
Any advice / thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
Many thanks.
#2
Re: Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
Sounds like you have no ties in NZ and you have been given a great opportunity. In your place I would go. If things turn out to be not as wonderful as you thought you would be, then you will know within a year or two so could probably come back. You sound a bit ambivalent about NZ at present. This could be a chance to see how you really feel once you are away for a while.
#3
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Re: Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
True.... and you have read into the situation well....
My concern being, with good jobs now.... perhaps it may not be as easy to move back in 2 - 3 years time.... plus we are considering a family in 2 - 3 years too.... and really want to set down some roots somewhere.
My concern being, with good jobs now.... perhaps it may not be as easy to move back in 2 - 3 years time.... plus we are considering a family in 2 - 3 years too.... and really want to set down some roots somewhere.
#4
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 38
Re: Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
I should also probably add that in the next 3 years our plans are:
Plan and get married
Have a Child
plus
My Brother has had first child
My fiancee Sister has had first child
My parents are getting to that age
Her grandparents are getting to that age
Both of which quite fundamental life goals, and may totally change the dynamics of a move at that time (my hat off to all you families who emmigrate with a young family).
Given all the info in my initial post, and the above.... any thoughts?
Thanks.
Plan and get married
Have a Child
plus
My Brother has had first child
My fiancee Sister has had first child
My parents are getting to that age
Her grandparents are getting to that age
Both of which quite fundamental life goals, and may totally change the dynamics of a move at that time (my hat off to all you families who emmigrate with a young family).
Given all the info in my initial post, and the above.... any thoughts?
Thanks.
#5
you dewty owld maan!
Joined: Oct 2005
Location: is practically perfect in every way
Posts: 5,565
Re: Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
Grass is always greener. Last summer we met up with a guy who had offered me a dream job back in the UK 4 years before. It was perfect, I could open the office close to home, shoe in for equity partnership, laid back employer, no office politics, good career development. Having a barbie with him for an afternoon brought all those doubts back but at the end of it we were still glad we had made the big move.
However, NZ is not a great place to develop an existing career or earn loads of money. But as you say retirement here is a good option and a NZ passport may well be better than a blue sticker if that's what you want. Plus once your kids are ready for school then you could move over and give them the kids' lifestyle here which is in most cases better than the UK.
#6
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Posts: 38
Re: Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
Thanks for responses so far....
Agreed - Citizenship 5 years. We activated PR early 2010 - so IRRV (or now Permanent Resident) in early 2012... so another 3 years (ish) to be able to apply for citizenship.
The dilemma really is all the things happening in UK with family (as described) plus dream job which would give further opportunity to progress... vs stay in NZ, sacrafice career, miss a lot of family stuff but get kiwi passport.
Both have pro's and con's - almost a perfect balance between the two, and this decision has been a LOT harder than that to leave UK to emmigrate to NZ. I was all for the adventure... I now have a good understanding of kiwi life, some I like and some I don't, I miss UK and also feel all the guilt side of ageing parents and wanting to see as much of them before the inevitable... and my career has almost had one of those parachutes deployed behind a fast car.... almost drawn to a standstill.... which after 15 years of hard study is a tough one to swallow (and I thought there would be more opportunities here in NZ to progress). BUT if I get kiwi passport then I could re-accelerate career (potentially) by moving to Aus in the future....
Such a difficult, difficult decision....
Agreed - Citizenship 5 years. We activated PR early 2010 - so IRRV (or now Permanent Resident) in early 2012... so another 3 years (ish) to be able to apply for citizenship.
The dilemma really is all the things happening in UK with family (as described) plus dream job which would give further opportunity to progress... vs stay in NZ, sacrafice career, miss a lot of family stuff but get kiwi passport.
Both have pro's and con's - almost a perfect balance between the two, and this decision has been a LOT harder than that to leave UK to emmigrate to NZ. I was all for the adventure... I now have a good understanding of kiwi life, some I like and some I don't, I miss UK and also feel all the guilt side of ageing parents and wanting to see as much of them before the inevitable... and my career has almost had one of those parachutes deployed behind a fast car.... almost drawn to a standstill.... which after 15 years of hard study is a tough one to swallow (and I thought there would be more opportunities here in NZ to progress). BUT if I get kiwi passport then I could re-accelerate career (potentially) by moving to Aus in the future....
Such a difficult, difficult decision....
#7
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 59
Re: Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
Hi Forum Members,
I moved to NZ in early 2010 and both my partner and I have found relatively good permanent jobs (very good by kiwi standards). We love NZ, but the costs, fx, missing home etc. play on our minds a lot. This combined with a number of close friends and family in the UK having children, and parents who are sick.... plus the extortionate cost to fly back to UK and the lower number of holidays per year.... has all been stacking up. We love NZ, and the country.... but I wonder deep down inside if in a few years time I will want to stay.... I also think it may be a nice place to retire.... but again this is a long way off.
I have been approached by a BIG global company for the job of my dreams and it would be based back in UK. This job would consolidate 15 years of study (much of which worthless in NZ) and would be a springboard to my career.
So.... do I stay or do I go? This has consumed our lives for 3 weeks... and I just can't reach a decision.... do we stay for another 3 years and get citizenship and then look for a similar job (which may no longer be achievable as I will have been out the industry for 5 years) or do we go.... with Permanent Residency (and the potential risk that changes to this may be imposed in the future)?
Many people I have spoken to say I am thinking about it too much, but the decision can only be described as a perfect balance between staying with a mediocre job or leaving back to the home land for a great career move.
Any advice / thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
Many thanks.
I moved to NZ in early 2010 and both my partner and I have found relatively good permanent jobs (very good by kiwi standards). We love NZ, but the costs, fx, missing home etc. play on our minds a lot. This combined with a number of close friends and family in the UK having children, and parents who are sick.... plus the extortionate cost to fly back to UK and the lower number of holidays per year.... has all been stacking up. We love NZ, and the country.... but I wonder deep down inside if in a few years time I will want to stay.... I also think it may be a nice place to retire.... but again this is a long way off.
I have been approached by a BIG global company for the job of my dreams and it would be based back in UK. This job would consolidate 15 years of study (much of which worthless in NZ) and would be a springboard to my career.
So.... do I stay or do I go? This has consumed our lives for 3 weeks... and I just can't reach a decision.... do we stay for another 3 years and get citizenship and then look for a similar job (which may no longer be achievable as I will have been out the industry for 5 years) or do we go.... with Permanent Residency (and the potential risk that changes to this may be imposed in the future)?
Many people I have spoken to say I am thinking about it too much, but the decision can only be described as a perfect balance between staying with a mediocre job or leaving back to the home land for a great career move.
Any advice / thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
Many thanks.
We are returning to the UK because of some of the reasons you have mentioned in your post and we have an 11 year old daughter. After moving twice here, we feel she will be far better of in the UK for school and future opportunities regardless of the Global situation. Once you have kids the pull to go home to family and friends is great as you miss out on so much.We too thought about the residency/citizenship but realistically we wouldn't return here as financially it would be a disaster for us. Retirement in NZ is not cheap either.My husband has a great job here too but has better opportunities in the UK to secure retirement.(So expensive to live here)I can also earn far more in the UK. As we all get older you realise time is something none of us have enough of and choices are made based on the realities of life (hard sometimes) You don't say how old you guys are. I think it makes a huge difference depending on stage of life.You talk about the risk! If you knew you only had a couple of years left what would you do? Coming was a risk? If you go back and hate it in a year you could come back to NZ and start again.Say you have children, boy, it would all change then anyway!! It all sounds pretty positive either way, you life would just end up being different! Good luck which ever you choose
#8
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 38
Re: Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
Moliknickers...
Thanks for your response.... and I agree with your sentiments.... then I get speaking to some Expats with kids and they say they moved here for their children and wouldn't go back.... and I think maybe I am wrong and should stay!
I know ultimately this is my decision, but it is a BIG decision in my eyes, and could have quite profound effects on our futures.
I am in my 30's and partner mid - late 20's.
Thanks for your response.... and I agree with your sentiments.... then I get speaking to some Expats with kids and they say they moved here for their children and wouldn't go back.... and I think maybe I am wrong and should stay!
I know ultimately this is my decision, but it is a BIG decision in my eyes, and could have quite profound effects on our futures.
I am in my 30's and partner mid - late 20's.
#9
Re: Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
You never know what the future may bring. I made plans around having kids when I got married but sadly wasn't able to have any in the end. I sincerely hope you won't find yourself in this position, but remember, you can plan for the future and find it doesn't turn out as expected. No decision you make now is irreversible. Also, I would say, if the parents are happy then chances are the kids will be too. Whichever you choose, both countries offer opportunities and challenges.
Good luck.
Good luck.
#10
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Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 38
Re: Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
Thanks JMH - appreciate your advice and kind sentiments
My concern is that maybe leaving NZ now will be irreversible.... in the sense that I will have IRRV / Permanent Residency but the permanency of that could change (but may not depending on future government direction) if I leave now without kiwi passport. Also what happens if we have kids overseas as PR of NZ but not citizens? Can we bring the child back to NZ if we wanted to come back to NZ?
Maybe I am thinking about too many wotifs and scenarios and making this decision more difficult than it needs to be... no one can say I haven't tried to think it through.... LOL
My concern is that maybe leaving NZ now will be irreversible.... in the sense that I will have IRRV / Permanent Residency but the permanency of that could change (but may not depending on future government direction) if I leave now without kiwi passport. Also what happens if we have kids overseas as PR of NZ but not citizens? Can we bring the child back to NZ if we wanted to come back to NZ?
Maybe I am thinking about too many wotifs and scenarios and making this decision more difficult than it needs to be... no one can say I haven't tried to think it through.... LOL
#11
Re: Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
Hi Forum Members,
I moved to NZ in early 2010 and both my partner and I have found relatively good permanent jobs (very good by kiwi standards). We love NZ, but the costs, fx, missing home etc. play on our minds a lot. This combined with a number of close friends and family in the UK having children, and parents who are sick.... plus the extortionate cost to fly back to UK and the lower number of holidays per year.... has all been stacking up. We love NZ, and the country.... but I wonder deep down inside if in a few years time I will want to stay.... I also think it may be a nice place to retire.... but again this is a long way off.
I have been approached by a BIG global company for the job of my dreams and it would be based back in UK. This job would consolidate 15 years of study (much of which worthless in NZ) and would be a springboard to my career.
So.... do I stay or do I go? This has consumed our lives for 3 weeks... and I just can't reach a decision.... do we stay for another 3 years and get citizenship and then look for a similar job (which may no longer be achievable as I will have been out the industry for 5 years) or do we go.... with Permanent Residency (and the potential risk that changes to this may be imposed in the future)?
Many people I have spoken to say I am thinking about it too much, but the decision can only be described as a perfect balance between staying with a mediocre job or leaving back to the home land for a great career move.
Any advice / thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
Many thanks.
I moved to NZ in early 2010 and both my partner and I have found relatively good permanent jobs (very good by kiwi standards). We love NZ, but the costs, fx, missing home etc. play on our minds a lot. This combined with a number of close friends and family in the UK having children, and parents who are sick.... plus the extortionate cost to fly back to UK and the lower number of holidays per year.... has all been stacking up. We love NZ, and the country.... but I wonder deep down inside if in a few years time I will want to stay.... I also think it may be a nice place to retire.... but again this is a long way off.
I have been approached by a BIG global company for the job of my dreams and it would be based back in UK. This job would consolidate 15 years of study (much of which worthless in NZ) and would be a springboard to my career.
So.... do I stay or do I go? This has consumed our lives for 3 weeks... and I just can't reach a decision.... do we stay for another 3 years and get citizenship and then look for a similar job (which may no longer be achievable as I will have been out the industry for 5 years) or do we go.... with Permanent Residency (and the potential risk that changes to this may be imposed in the future)?
Many people I have spoken to say I am thinking about it too much, but the decision can only be described as a perfect balance between staying with a mediocre job or leaving back to the home land for a great career move.
Any advice / thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
Many thanks.
#12
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Joined: Dec 2010
Location: Wanganui, New Zealand
Posts: 240
Re: Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
I think you will regret staying in NZ for all the reasons you have stated. Let's face it, you can come back to NZ any old time. Would you repeat the paperwork process in the future to get your visas again ? If you follow through with your plans to have children you would want them to know their cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents etc, yes ? Don't know if you would be better in the UK with your excellent job plus family hankering after NZ. Than being in NZ, married, (in NZ ? Who could afford to come ?) hankering after the UK. Parental death, christenings, more family births, the list goes on and on.
#13
Just Joined
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 8
Re: Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
From the tone of your postings it does sound like you have 80 -90% made your mind up to go. I would go in your situation with the intention to return before the kids get too old.
It does sound like a no lose situation though as you appear happy here.
It does sound like a no lose situation though as you appear happy here.
#14
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 59
Re: Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
Moliknickers...
Thanks for your response.... and I agree with your sentiments.... then I get speaking to some Expats with kids and they say they moved here for their children and wouldn't go back.... and I think maybe I am wrong and should stay!
I know ultimately this is my decision, but it is a BIG decision in my eyes, and could have quite profound effects on our futures.
I am in my 30's and partner mid - late 20's.
Thanks for your response.... and I agree with your sentiments.... then I get speaking to some Expats with kids and they say they moved here for their children and wouldn't go back.... and I think maybe I am wrong and should stay!
I know ultimately this is my decision, but it is a BIG decision in my eyes, and could have quite profound effects on our futures.
I am in my 30's and partner mid - late 20's.
#15
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Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 38
Re: Stay or Go.... Dilemma...
Thanks for the responses / advice guys... really appreciate it.
Retirement shed.....
I would be happy with either option..... both to me are good..... just in different ways.... that is the dilemma I guess, as usually one out weighs the other. I have never thought about a decision so much in all my life, this has consumed my life for the past 4 weeks... and I genuinely feel mentally exhausted with the process.... and still not made a decision... aghhhh
I kept thinking, well if it is my dream job, but I am having to think about it so much maybe it is not right and I should forfeight career to stay here... then I look at it from the other angle and say if I was happy here I would not have pursued the job....
A total mind messing decision...
Retirement shed.....
I would be happy with either option..... both to me are good..... just in different ways.... that is the dilemma I guess, as usually one out weighs the other. I have never thought about a decision so much in all my life, this has consumed my life for the past 4 weeks... and I genuinely feel mentally exhausted with the process.... and still not made a decision... aghhhh
I kept thinking, well if it is my dream job, but I am having to think about it so much maybe it is not right and I should forfeight career to stay here... then I look at it from the other angle and say if I was happy here I would not have pursued the job....
A total mind messing decision...