So frustrating having to wait!
Mar 1st 2014, 8:03 pm
#16
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Re: So frustrating having to wait!
Their father only has parental consent for the younger one due to a change in the law between the births. We were never married. The elder was born before being named on the birth certificate led to automatic parental responsibility, the younger after.
Mar 1st 2014, 8:05 pm
#17
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Re: So frustrating having to wait!
Aah, I see. Thanks for that - I was just being nosy! Hope you get things sorted - it seems especially unfair as it only applies to one of them!
Mar 1st 2014, 8:10 pm
#18
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Re: So frustrating having to wait!
No worries 
Yes, very unfair :-( Will help with the court case though, and they both want to go!
Yes, very unfair :-( Will help with the court case though, and they both want to go!
Mar 1st 2014, 11:07 pm
#19
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Re: So frustrating having to wait!
Have you considered seeking legal advice initially and then representing yourself at court? I am going through the same process with my son and am representing myself to save a lot of money. I am so glad I did as it really isn't very complicated, as long as you have lots of evidence and a clear and well thought out plan. CAFCAS oversee most of the process and if your child's father has not bothered with him for so long, he won't have a leg to stand on. It may be worth considering to save many thousands of pounds. So far it has only cost me £215!
Mar 3rd 2014, 11:52 am
#20
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Re: So frustrating having to wait!
I have MrsBrightside,
But I am wary of somehow getting it wrong! The solicitor I have chosen will only do the bit that are more complicated, he will tell me all the leg work that needs to be done, so I can do that and pass it on to him... I feel this is a happy medium for me :-)
The ex has finally responded, but not in a satisfactory manner, so I have today contacted my solicitors for the next step...
The reply I had from the ex yesterday made me so mad, I had to exercise full restraint not to respond to him in the way I wanted... Once consent has been sorted (through court or otherwise) I will be giving a piece of my mind!!
But I am wary of somehow getting it wrong! The solicitor I have chosen will only do the bit that are more complicated, he will tell me all the leg work that needs to be done, so I can do that and pass it on to him... I feel this is a happy medium for me :-)
The ex has finally responded, but not in a satisfactory manner, so I have today contacted my solicitors for the next step...
The reply I had from the ex yesterday made me so mad, I had to exercise full restraint not to respond to him in the way I wanted... Once consent has been sorted (through court or otherwise) I will be giving a piece of my mind!!
Mar 3rd 2014, 12:08 pm
#21
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Re: So frustrating having to wait!
Have you considered seeking legal advice initially and then representing yourself at court? I am going through the same process with my son and am representing myself to save a lot of money. I am so glad I did as it really isn't very complicated, as long as you have lots of evidence and a clear and well thought out plan. CAFCAS oversee most of the process and if your child's father has not bothered with him for so long, he won't have a leg to stand on. It may be worth considering to save many thousands of pounds. So far it has only cost me £215!
I hope you don't mind me asking, but how did you go about doing it yourself?
Regards
Mar 3rd 2014, 3:17 pm
#22
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Re: So frustrating having to wait!
You apply to the court for a specific issue application which costs £215. Once this is received the court will send you all the copies, you have to serve a copy on the respondant and then a directions hearing date is given. This is basically an admin hearing where they tell you to write a statement outlining details re accommodation, education etc. CAFCAS are then given 12 weeks to write a report with their findings. In your situation I expect this will go highly in your favour due to the lack of contact from your child's father. Once CAFCAS has compiled the report there will be another small hearing and shortly after that a final hearing will be booked which is a full day.
It's very straightforward. You could easily represent yourself right to the end or if necessary book a barrister for the final hearing only. This would cost approx £1000. Either way it saves a lot of time and money and actually makes the process a lot less complicated. Hope this helps x
It's very straightforward. You could easily represent yourself right to the end or if necessary book a barrister for the final hearing only. This would cost approx £1000. Either way it saves a lot of time and money and actually makes the process a lot less complicated. Hope this helps x
Mar 3rd 2014, 3:50 pm
#23
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Re: So frustrating having to wait!
Thing is I don't really have the time to mess it up. I need it done right the first time and quickly too. I am hoping just a letter from my solicitor will make him realise I mean business and therefore sign to give consent without the need for court at all... Wishful thinking maybe :-/
Mar 3rd 2014, 4:24 pm
#24
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Re: So frustrating having to wait!
So we are still moving forwards, all be it very slowly.
Part of the delay is money. I've estimated around £10-£12k to make the move, so we need the next 2.5 years to save.
Part of the delay is my eldest's GCSEs. He will finish those mid 2016, and although I gather they are not really relevant for NZ, we need the time to save anyway so he may as well finish them.
A new, big part of the delay is Parental Consent for my youngest. His dad (also my eldest's dad) seems to be being a pillock. He has no contact what so ever with the kids, not even so much as a birthday card. Hasn't done for over 4 years. Yet he is refusing requests for parental consent for taking the little one over there to live.
I am seeing one solicitor tomorrow, and two more next week. Then I will have to choose a solicitor and start the expensive proceedings.
I have to do it, it's likely to be costly, it may mean we can't afford a container for our furniture at the end of the day. No matter, we can start a simple life where we all want to be, and gradually replace everything bit by bit. Sleeping bags and plastic chairs all round
I, and my eldest, are finding the wait really frustrating. If we had the money and consent we'd be off right away. Work shouldn't be an issue as I'm a midwife and very flexible where we will arrive. I figure we will take a year to settle before we find an area we want to fix ourselves into anyway
Part of the delay is money. I've estimated around £10-£12k to make the move, so we need the next 2.5 years to save.
Part of the delay is my eldest's GCSEs. He will finish those mid 2016, and although I gather they are not really relevant for NZ, we need the time to save anyway so he may as well finish them.
A new, big part of the delay is Parental Consent for my youngest. His dad (also my eldest's dad) seems to be being a pillock. He has no contact what so ever with the kids, not even so much as a birthday card. Hasn't done for over 4 years. Yet he is refusing requests for parental consent for taking the little one over there to live.
I am seeing one solicitor tomorrow, and two more next week. Then I will have to choose a solicitor and start the expensive proceedings.
I have to do it, it's likely to be costly, it may mean we can't afford a container for our furniture at the end of the day. No matter, we can start a simple life where we all want to be, and gradually replace everything bit by bit. Sleeping bags and plastic chairs all round
I, and my eldest, are finding the wait really frustrating. If we had the money and consent we'd be off right away. Work shouldn't be an issue as I'm a midwife and very flexible where we will arrive. I figure we will take a year to settle before we find an area we want to fix ourselves into anyway
