Sick parents :(

Old Mar 9th 2016, 5:34 am
  #16  
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Default Re: Sick parents :(

Look carefully at air lines and best times to fly
A chap I work with has just flown back on return flights with China airways for $1600
It seems mid Feb / march is a very cheap time to fly. It may be a bit previous but every saving counts.
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Old Mar 9th 2016, 7:19 am
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Default Re: Sick parents :(

Just to add a note of positivity, I had to break the news to my husband that his 80 year old dad had prostate cancer. Until he knew every last detail my husband refused to panic. I was crying and he told me to stop as we didn't yet know the prognosis. When we did it wasn't as bad as was first thought. Hubby managed to persuade his dad to embark on chemo and when he wanted to quit it hubby persuaded him to see it through. He did and he's been in remission for a year. The one thing "the olds" have over us younger ones is that cancer spreads very much more slowly for them. I feel for you. Stay strong and be kind to yourself.
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Old Mar 9th 2016, 6:41 pm
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Default Re: Sick parents :(

Really sorry to here this Rob. It is always a difficult situation when living so far away. I never expected it to happen as soon as it did for my dad and I remember the shock and I think that was the starting point for me becoming unsettled over here.

Your financial situation does make it more difficult.

His prognosis was 3-5 months from point of diagnosis so I decided to take my girls over sooner for a visit, which we did for 3 weeks about 6 weeks after the original diagnosis and then DH & I went back for a second visit, leaving my dad about a month before he died. I chose to spend time with him when he was alive rather than going for the funeral.

I did receive some negative comments from some of his 'friends' for not attending the funeral, but when they hadn't bothered to visit him from 20 minutes away during his illness I chose to ignore them, and still do to this day.

That was 4 years ago this month. In hindsight I wish I had traveled back for the week he died, but cost and sheer exhaustion overruled that thought at the time.

Take care, my thoughts are with you and your family. If you need any help regarding symptom management for your mum or anything else medical please don't hesitate to PM me, I am a community palliative care nurse specialist.
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Old Mar 9th 2016, 7:41 pm
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Default Re: Sick parents :(

Hi Rob,

Sorry you are in this situation, not nice.

I hope you get back to spend some time with your mum, dad and sister. Please don't spend all your time travelling to see other people, given your circumstances surely people would come to you! You'll have enough on your plate without the extra stress of travelling around.

Wishing you and your family all the best during these hard times.
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Old Mar 9th 2016, 9:10 pm
  #20  
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Default Re: Sick parents :(

I'm so sorry Rob. Please don't let anyone lay guilt on you at all, if you can make it over then everyone should visit you while you spend what time you can with your parents.
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Old Mar 9th 2016, 9:29 pm
  #21  
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Default Re: Sick parents :(

Originally Posted by RobClubley View Post

After reading more about the condition I think I need to go back this year. Mum and dad have only met their granddaughter once (she's 5) and I think she has to go too.

................

The whole thing is a nightmare.
It is a horrible nightmare but FWIW I feel to the bottom of my heart that you do the right thing for all of you. Your instinct is true & you your family and your parents will be the better for this.

Very tough financially without a doubt but it is the best use of money that you can do at this time. It couldn't be spent any better.

Sooner is better than later, as sometimes later does not come , so make your plans & you get that quality time in with all those you love.

Begger anyone else Rob. If they care they will come to you. Just make the purpose of this visit simple and clear. It is about your parents, your sister and your small family to collectively care and share your love and support of each other.

Where is TomH. Someone ping him. He was ace at helping about flights when I asked.
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Old Mar 14th 2016, 10:02 am
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Default Re: Sick parents :(

RobClubley;11890012

Add another $10k+ for the three of us to go to the UK and it'll be a bit painful to say the least.
.
I just bought my tickets via travelsupermarket.com
I just got 3 adults and 1 child for less than £3k. I did pay using my uk account but it's worth a try to use your NZ card. I huge saving compared to NZ prices.

Last edited by MrsFychan; Mar 14th 2016 at 6:33 pm. Reason: fixed quote
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Old Mar 14th 2016, 8:43 pm
  #23  
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Default Re: Sick parents :(

Originally Posted by moonie2011 View Post
I just bought my tickets via travelsupermarket.com
I just got 3 adults and 1 child for less than £3k. I did pay using my uk account but it's worth a try to use your NZ card. I huge saving compared to NZ prices.

Well done, so that's return tickets to the UK for all four of you for less than GBP3,000. That's a really good price. Which airline are you flying with if you don't mind me asking ?

Good luck, just sorry your visit is because of circumstances rather than choice.

I guess using your UK account to pay for the tickets you sidestepped any foreign currency transaction cost. Which would have happened if an NZ or any other currency was used.

Last edited by Snap Shot; Mar 14th 2016 at 8:46 pm. Reason: currency
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Old Mar 14th 2016, 9:45 pm
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Default Re: Sick parents :(

Originally Posted by Snap Shot View Post
Well done, so that's return tickets to the UK for all four of you for less than GBP3,000. That's a really good price. Which airline are you flying with if you don't mind me asking ?

Good luck, just sorry your visit is because of circumstances rather than choice.

I guess using your UK account to pay for the tickets you sidestepped any foreign currency transaction cost. Which would have happened if an NZ or any other currency was used.
we are flying with Southern China Airlines. even with any currency charges its still cheaper than buying in NZ. on the same day i checked with Nz travel sites and they wanted over $8k
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Old Mar 15th 2016, 8:05 pm
  #25  
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Default Re: Sick parents :(

Thanks all, South China Air seems promising. How does their service/leg room compare to others?

Mum's going for a scan today so that should determine how soon I need to go over
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Old Mar 15th 2016, 8:24 pm
  #26  
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Default Re: Sick parents :(

Originally Posted by RobClubley View Post
Thanks all, South China Air seems promising. How does their service/leg room compare to others?

Mum's going for a scan today so that should determine how soon I need to go over
Thoughts are with you Rob x
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Old Mar 15th 2016, 9:03 pm
  #27  
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Default Re: Sick parents :(

Originally Posted by RobClubley View Post
Thanks all, South China Air seems promising. How does their service/leg room compare to others?

Mum's going for a scan today so that should determine how soon I need to go over
I had some friends travel on them about 5 years ago. I can't speak for leg room but the service was poor and food very disappointing. Still, that's a good price and probably worth putting up with poor food. You get what you pay for I guess. Of course, it may be better now.
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Old Mar 15th 2016, 9:28 pm
  #28  
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Default Re: Sick parents :(

Originally Posted by RobClubley View Post
Thanks all, South China Air seems promising. How does their service/leg room compare to others?

Mum's going for a scan today so that should determine how soon I need to go over
All fingers and toes crossed for your lovely Mum Rob & for you and yours.
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Old Mar 16th 2016, 8:20 am
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Default Re: Sick parents :(

Really sorry to hear this. I had to go through it myself a few years ago and it's awful. Do what you need to do to support yourself, it's okay to talk about it if you need to and be kind to yourself. I wish your Mum all the best. As the Kiwis say...Aroha.
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Old Mar 23rd 2016, 3:20 am
  #30  
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Default Re: Sick parents :(

Thanks for the support everyone. The scan results showed that it wasn't as bad as we feared. It's still serious, and chemo etc are needed but it could be worse. Still not sure yet about flying over, or when.
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