Keeny69

Thanks some helpful advice, do you guys feel a lawyer is a must. Or do I have faith in the family court. Can I get a lawyer for free.? I am in Nelson any one know of a good lawyer for this type of case, that if i have to pay for is reasonable, last thing i need is to what little money i have, because i will need to rebuild my life again?

Also I think she is going to get a court order so We can not take boys out of country, I am not too sure about this and I dont feel comfortable about it?

Thanks

Woodlea

Citizen's Advice Bureau will help with good advice - there should be a solicitor doing pro bono but only at certain times, ask them when he/she is on and go then.
There is legal aid but only if you're not working. Your kids will get a lawyer appointed by the Family Court at no cost.
You can speak for yourself at the Family Court and I think this can be advantageous.
The court order for not taking the boys out of the country (or Nelson area) is fairly standard and protects you as well as her.
Good luck, it is hard for you but like the other guy said you must look to the future (he just didn't say it very well).

Am Loolah

Aww mate, I'm going through the separation ffrom Hell and it's so bloody horrible.

Although it was my decision that the marriage was over, it's now been 14 months and is still grim. Only this week there's been words and the lawyers are back on to it.

You don't need a lawyer if she is prepared to be reasonable. Which from the sound of it she isn't. Is there any reason why she would go to the family courts and your access not to have been arranged at the same time, this seems very odd. Why would you not have moved out and in to your own place and then said "ok, I'll have the kids at the weekend, blah, blah, blah?" and she say fine? Why would she not want them to have a relationship with you? She sounds like she's influencing the kids and controlling the situation. My ex hasn't bothered with his kids much... You have rights and should be ascertaining these asap. My ex also went for trying to stop me from removing the kids from the country. He could get a fast track court appointment and go before a Judge, I don't think you would necessarily know about it. BUT, unless she could show a reasonable amount of fear that the kids would be a "threat to flee" (i.e: You wouldn't bring them back, return them) it would be 50:50. I was told my ex wouldn't get the order because they live with me and he sees them so sporadically.

You can sort all your assets and money yourselves and/or by way of signing a separation agreement, you can do this as soon as you like. NZ law is "No Fault Divorce" and the assets are usually split 50:50. My lazy arse ex and his new girlfriend will do very well. You don't need a lawyer for this, but they need to be signed by one.

You can't get divorced for 2 years.

Mine looks like it's going to court just to sort out who gets what and what it's worth. There'll be nothing left in our pot by the time the lawyers have had their fill.

BEVS

Hi there Keeny69 and welcome to our wee community.

I think your Mum & Dad Mick&Linda started a thread on here ( click on the linky) a while back coz they were so concerned for you.

Sorry to read that 'talks' have broken down.

On the other thread I suggested the Community Law Centre in Nelson.

Use them to source a good family lawyer in the area. I've used them for summat else and they really are very helpful.

judes

why would anyone think this kind of comment is helpful ? what a moron

Si19761

I don't have much advice and sorry to hear you are in this situation. What I will add to what the others have recommended is to stay patient and start saving every penny which I know is the last thing you wish to hear. The processes are long and drawn out and child support is crippling unless you can reach a good agreement between yourselves. Mediation is normally the next stage if you cannot resolve it between yourselves but even this takes time, money and normally requires counselling as part of the process.

If you can achieve it at all try and get an amicable agreement even for child support, what you pay through the state system and what the children receive often is different...

Good luck and stay strong for your children.

bevissa65

Hi there, no advice I'm afraid but hope you get everythng sorted out without too much more heartache. Your children will come through this as long as they know you love them. Good luck Bevissa

Browner_

Sorry mate.
Wish I could offer much practical advice, but I dont think I can.
This is a nightmare scenario that could happen to any of us expat couples with kids at any time, and god only knows what you do.

florabundi

Hi Keeny69. Really sorry to read about your situation, hope you have had a chance to check with a solicitor about your position. Legal back up can be invaluable your wife will be reasonable about this so the kids don't get too badly upset. Do you have any other family close by to support you? Horrible situation to be in, really feel for you.

Kija

Sorry, I don't have any advice to give but just wanted to wish you courage & luck during this stressful time.

judes

I second that

Bellasmum

Keeny has your wife got a protection order ? I only ask because that will define the kind of advice you need.

http://www.justice.govt.nz/courts/family-court/

melanieanne63

I come on this site forbhelp and advise and will continue to do so over the next few months, I am sure.... I am absolutely astonished of the lack of sensitivity in this post... the thread was put on here asking for advise as to what step s should be taken and what steps can be taken, as a migrant it must be diffocultbto find you way about the legalities of situations people think they will never need.....
Masky, you have either had you sensitivity bone removed or alternatively are truly incapable of reading the context of the original thread, you posts are far less inspirational then you would like to believe but rather rude in nature, leave your comments of hope to yourself.

j19fmm

Don't tar us all with the same brush, you'll see his was the only post in such a vein.

scrubbedexpat094

Keeny69, you've had some really excellent advice from others (+ a Troll's input!). I can't offer you anything further but just wanted to wish you well & I'm so sorry that you are going through this.