garryhg

thats terrible;
our daughter has now said she would be happy to go back to the first school she was at,that was the one with the worst reputation,
probably because its mostly pacifis islanders ,chinese and maori's...but she said they were really nice to her and every one was really friendly...

we had to fight to get her into one of the best schools,and turns out they are complete bitches

the best laugh is we just sold her school uniform for a fraction of the price we paid,and now have to buy her a new one....meanwhile we have a brand new uniform for the second school we put her to:curse:

the things you do for your childrenhopefully this time next week she will be settled back at school...fingers crossed everyone...

i think i've aged about 10 years since i came hear..

Frenchy

The roller coaster never ends does it!!!!!!

Just as you think the stress of immigration is enough to test your resolve it hits even harder.

For me the stress levels of bringing 2 teens have been terrible. Like many people on here my kids were always out in the UK, they would get the train into town and go around pals etc,,,,

8 months down the line they would both still go back if they could. I have been told that I have ruined there life and my daughter (15) has told me that I have destroyed her prospect by harming her education!!! So I know EXACTLY where you are coming from.

On the other hand I feel that they are much safer here and there is much more opportunity for outdoor pursuits.

Hang on in there it will get better!!!!

Marika 38

Hi Frenchy and all on this thread,
intresting thread this, as My 2 children are, Son Sam who is nearly 14, and Daughter Gemma just turned 15. They are both very positive about the move to N.Z, especially my daughter, I am beginning to worry that her dreams of being totally accepted and happy in NZ, will not be met, she really does think it will absolutely brilliant. Shes leaving behind a lovely bunch of friends aswell, and Sams bunch of friends are great too, and don't want him to go, he spends alot of time out with them, and they're making him all sorts of things to remember them by. What if they hate it and me and their dad for making the move, only time will tell I suppose.

dupe

So, does everyone get to the "OMG what have we done?" stage?

garryhg

hi marika
i think youhave a better start than i did ,at least your children want to come,my daughter has fought us all the waythey are coming here feeling positive and thats half the battle....you can make anything work that you want to....
but coming feeling negative and it will never work...
my daughter started her old school yesterday and is quite happy now...
she still wants to go back and is hanging on to the fact that we will be going back at some point....whilst i enjoy it here now,i have decided i don't want my kids groing up without there extended family(much to my oh disgust)
grans grandads etc..i am constantly being told daily from both my children that they want to go home,but they are learning to accept things here...

i suppose garry has a different outlook on it here,hes at work early every day,and doesn't have to put up with the ,"i want to go home" every morning,
it grinds you down..
one of these mornings they will get up and forget to say it..i will keep you posted...gl with youyr plans,it is a lovely place and i'm sure you will be happy here...

Bellasmum

garryhg I really feel for you, not only are you trying to adjust yourself but you are having to cope with your girls unhappiness.

Peer acceptance and support is vital wherever teenagers live and right now your lass does not have that. Have you considered encouraging her to talk to the school counsellor about the difficulties she is having to adjust.
Or maybe she could connect up with Youthline (link below)

http://www.youthline.co.nz/Talk_to_Youthline_332.aspx

Chin up. The warmer weather will soon be here and all those Kiwi kids that have been hibernating will be out and about again.

TeamEmbo

Hi Marika

Our kids are 12 (nearly 13) and 11. They too had a stack of great mates they had to leave behind. But much as they hated to do that, they were really looking forward to trying out a new life here in NZ. They thought it was fab that it was actually happening to them and they're really pleased we've given them this opportunity. They have settled into school really well, were accepted from day 1 and have many friends. Within a week or two they were both out on sleepovers at their new mates houses. They are both desperate to be like 'Kiwi kids' and have developed a half Kiwi twang, depending on who's around! I call my daughter now to be answered with 'yis?' and of course the raise at the end of each sentence like its a question. Its very sweet really. They both love the freedom, especially the paddling around with no shoes, the fact that 'labels' are a thing of the past, no-one we've come across could be described as fashion conscious; its the people that count. Our son came home from school last Friday and ran round the garden and rolled across the lawn shouting 'thank you, thank you, thank you! I love my school, I love my house, I love my garden, I love NZ!!! Thanks Mum and Dad' and gave me a big hug. Guess he's happy then

TeamEmbo

Jacky

Well done you for letting her go back to the first school! I know she didn't like that one to begin with but at that time everything would have been a shock to her and she was looking to find fault with it all.

Hopefully she will see now that you are willing to do whatever it takes to get her settled her. She might just calm down a bit and start seeing the good things about being here, especially as she feels she has some sort of comfort zone now back the in first school.

You said the first school was of all races etc so she might feel more at home there, not the 'odd one out' so to speak and less like a sore thumb sticking out and the obvious target for any bitchiness.

I'm sure you'll see a different girl soon as she'll be much happier once she's found acceptance at school and some cool mates to knock around with.

mickey_d

Hi,
Good news she is happy in school now

One thing we also did was got our daughter into Girl Guides (something she wouldn't have been seen dead doing in the UK by the way). From ages 14 to 19 it is called Rangers. They were a great bunch of girls & they had quite a few nights out, cinema, bowling etc. Also, they had a few weekend tramping trips.
She made some very good friends & even though we have moved away from there now she is still in contact with them. She also used to help out with the younger group nights as well, which she now does in Hawkes Bay & is now training to be a guide leader
When we first suggested it we were shot down in flames!!! but we persisted & it was all worth it in the end.

here's a link:-

http://www.girlguides.org.nz/sp-about-rangers.asp

garryhg

hi thanks for that might give it a try...

one thing positive we are finding with her...because the peer pressure here is not the same as back home,she is starting to act her age again and not trying to be mrs matureshe has also lost quite a bit of the attitude she had back home,the kids don't seem to have that here,
they seem to have a bit more respect for there elders

long may that last

Frenchy

My 15 year old could not wait to get here!! And was great until we got to LA and then it hit so hard!!!!!

For us in retrospect closer vicinity to a city would have perhaps been a wiser move for my 2.

My son (13) reached a wow stage around March. We had just moved into our home, he picked a grape off the vine on a lovely sunny day, jumped into the pool and said "Its like paradise here"

Daughter has never really reached it yet!!!!!

Son says school is Ok but not as good as in UK and he has fewer pals. I think its to do with the age they came and perhaps the area we came to.


Feel a bit confused at the moment as the whole family (hubby to) finding it hard to settle whereas I am doing OK. I think like Gary though I work in a big organization (well Wairau hospital!!) and have made lots of friends at work.

P2L

Hang on in there Dawn, it's still early days.

Are you @ work?? Need your Hubs services

Frenchy

I am off this pm, just about to go up the hill OH has gone to Chch this am untill sat evening on a WOF course, give us a tinkle!!!!!!!

P2L

Bit windy for up the Hill If I see something fly past me, I'll know it's you. phone you later, Kev working till 10 xxx

kato33

What a lovely thing to hear, the kids enjoying life as much as you would want them too.
I hope mine are the same TeamEmbo.