lardyl

How about this then - if the salivating-happy-clappers who want to rain on anyone that has a contrary view, can't live with a "I don't like the place" thread, or more particularly seem unable to cope with the views expressed or their perceptions of the personalities of those expressing them......

Then why not have a thread for the "third way":

the I'm pretty happy on the whole but this really gets on my wick....

Personally I love NZ along with most of its people (on a superficial level at least), hate some of the attitudes and approaches to life here...

I have groups of friends/aquaintances who love it/them/them (see above) and some who live with it/them/them and some who hate it and/or them and/or them........(those are the three aspects in the preceding paragraph).

But I can totally understand how people can come to hate NZ and some of its people, how they can see that the process of relocating has bled them dry and how they might want to warn others of that. I am glad for those other posters down the years who have done that right here. - it certainly helped us and allowed us to adjust expectations accordingly.....

What I cannot understand is how some people can be so insecure in their decision/choice of partner/patriotism that they see some of these posts as an excuse to suggest (politely or otherwise) that the people involved should go and live somewhere else........or that beacsue of some percieved character defect the "whinger" would be unhappy anywhere else......

That attitude is one of the things about NZ that I hate.........and I hate it with a vengence - not that I have experienced it often in real world NZ - mainly as I have been warned by other ex-Pats to "keep your mouth shut arond so and so", it seems to be more prevailent on the boards, perhaps where the perpetrators want to let off steam or hide behind the internet's cloak of annonymity. Who knows.......

That view might explain some of my "schitzoid" posts.

And no disrespect to anyone with such a condition, I am not poking fun at you just trying to come up with a description of this frame of mind that is easily understood.

/rant over/

Love and peace to all ..........

Back OT:

NZ is a place of great opportunity, but with significant hurdles for many to reach the opportunities available and much institutionalised resistance to change.
It is beautiful and yet parts of it cannot be explored in the way that the UK can.
Many of life's necessities are plentiful and cheap but some are expensive and subject to monopolies and/or profit-taking.
There is plenty of room for development in your body, mind and spirit but sometimes it feels more claustrophobic than you would expect.

P2L

Know what you mean hun!!!

Today I like it here, but I'm not 'in love' with it!! Last week if someone had given me a ticket ( and the dosh!!) I would have happily boarded the first plane outta here!

We live in a semi rural area of NZ, where everybody went to school with each other and the old 'names' run the town. I tend to keep my comments/opinions to myself unless with fellow expats or funnily enough outoftowners, who seem to hold similar opinions on the place.

Personally, I think that a lot of how you feel about NZ boils down to economics, ie how much dosh you have in your pocket when you arrive here. Like a lot of people here, we were in a good financial position in the UK compared to NZ, despite having debt back in Blighty we could still afford lifes little luxuries, whereas here, we have no debt (in rental) yet are having to be cautious with our spending at every turn, despite being on a comparatively good wage.

Would I do it again?? Not sure is the honest answer
Would I return to the UK? No
Would I immigrate elsewhere in the world?? Probably, if somewhere appeals to us further down the line

squiddley

...


AAAAAAHHHHHHHH.......
What are we letting ourselves in for.....

P2L

Don't worry they won't eat you alive
Generally doesn't bother me too much mate, but time of year I think
DH finds it very frustrating from a work point of view, but that conversation is on another thread!!

Best way to get on is to join in EVERYTHING especially at school and keep joining in ( which is where i made the mistake and gave up!!)

Talking to an American girl the other day who has lived here for a while and were 'comparing notes.' We were saying that the hardest thing is that we have no memories here yet, they are still tied up with our homelands, and I think with Xmas round the corner, friends and family come to the forefront of your thoughts.

lardyl

its kinda like Deliverance, but they ask you to Baa like a sheep (not act like a pig) whilst they are wearing velcro gloves......at least on the Mainland.......allegedly........

at least this thread is troll-free at the moment.
can't believe the bile being spilled on a thread where people are handing in their tickets, getting banned, being abusive to long-time forumites who have chosen to speak freely and just doing what the OP (wonderous person that he is ) said to begin with on this thread........

Am Loolah

OK, to join in as a poster, not a Mod (changes caps ...)

I am way happier here in NZ then I was for, say, the last 5 years in the UK.

I think I am very fortunate that we moved to a seemingly great part of NZ.

We are not bothered by crime, boy racers, noise, drugs, unfriendly people and have made a huge and varied amount of friends. I would say some of this is down to trying to be kind, friendly and doing things for others which always helps.

Without going in to detail we had a bad end of last week with our eldest daughter and some horrible happenings at her school. I felt awful for her. I also felt a huge amount of guilt that I wanted to come here and brought them here. That this would "never" have happened at her previous school in the UK.

It took a late night phone call to my step-mother who gave me the short, sharp, shock treatment.

It wasn't my fault, or my daughter's fault or New Zealand's fault.

There was no guarantee it wouldn't have happened back at her previous school.

It was irrelevant because we live here now. So what could we do to resolve the situation Monday morning for her with the school.

I guess my point is - it's not the country, it's not your fault, it happens, if it does you have to try to deal with it and move on ...

I'll get me coat!

kepow

ok, so I'll be brave and add my tupence worth.......

I dont live in NZ, so probably dont have the right credentials to comment, but over the last eight years I have probably spent a total of 2 years in the country, but for 6 months at a time.

Things I dont like........

in the rural towns the 'cool' group from school still hang out together/marry each other/run the social scene.

Alcohol is a major part of aforementioned social scene.

To make any money you really need to run your own business

People who are successful are resented

womens clothes available in the shops are made out of draylon

no such thing as a decent children's shoe, but I think that is really just because you are either in bare feet or your gum boots.

The standards of the published word are appalling

Sandflies

Things I love....

The scenery, the rainbows, the stars

the hospitality

the simple life - (on my last visit, we visited some friends on a farm, after lunch the men went out and killed a sheep, the women stayed in and made quilts!! - once I got over the shock of being transported back in time 50 years I really enjoyed myself)

learning how to bottle excess produce

The men are gorgeous - I married one....

We still live in the UK as I cant quite make the move to live their full time, and a lot of what I have read on this site over the last 6 months has put me off making the move, but it is still an option for one day

I reckon moving to anywhere, not knowing anyone is really hard, be it 50 miles or 12,000 miles. I have not actually met any brit expats in the flesh, as we hang out with kiwi friends and family and I think that helps, but it is difficult to make kiwi friends as they do distrust foreigners.

lardyl

now that is the best post I have read for a while.
I relate to it all except the draylon, the ladies clothes I am wearing now are almost man-made fibre free......ooppps......

Sorry to hear that the BE attitude has put you off from coming to NZ full-ime but it sounds like that list of qualms is pretty well researched and with time could be eroded a little.....

Best of luck in whatever you choose to do.

lardyl

I'll hand it to you if you promise to come back and are only leaving because it is so late.......
Thanks for that - its good to talk.
I agree that if you invest yourself in a place you have more chance of making it home, but situations and other stuff can get in the way and its not always a person's fault that it all turns to custard.

Am Loolah

Good post! I agree that you would be wise to aspire to run your own business in NZ - or at least if you have kids here to install in them that they need a darn good education to make a decent go of it here (says the mum of a 16 year old threatening to leave school!)

I like the fact the kids can go barefoot as I can never find their shoes of a morning anyway ...

I'm not convinced that all Kiwi's are resentful of those that have done well, or that this is any different in the UK - elements of the green-eyed monster everywhere in my experience.

The published written English is not great agreed.

Sandflies - horrid - try Aeroguard.

Women's clothes (note - not woman's clothes) not that bothered as live in tiara and fairy wings - all natural.

Struggling with the negative point you're trying to make about alcohol

And I married a Kiwi too - he's ok ...

lardyl

On the negatives
I'd add that the standard of current affairs broadcasting is pretty dire - I miss Newsnight and Today. Having Freeview is a slight improvement.
Mary Wilson does not cut it for me.

I'd put the self-employed thing as a positive as it is easy to get a start in business and there are quite a few niches. Although you do have to market, market, market in my field - which is nice as I like to talk, schooze, wine and dine clients.

Stoof

ok... i can't do the fancy-pants multi-quote thing, but am plucking up the courage to raise head above parapet!

kepow - loved your post... it made me smile as i read it, and realised that it sounded like you were describing where i grew up (aside from the gorgeous men bit!!) This made me ponder... i didn't grow up in NZ - i'm from a tiny little backwater around the english/scottish border... (school of 20 pupils, 10 miles to shop, 25 miles and twice yearly visit to 'the town' to get new shoes) i've visited nz twice, only spending 3 months, but have felt comfortable there - i wonder if that's why?!

Not living in NZ i thought perhaps i shouldn't post on here, but I've been checking in on this thread since lardyl first posted wondering if anyone would post what i was thinking.... which is.... this pretty much sounds like it describes my day to day life! sometimes happy, sometimes not so happy...

we want to give NZ a go cos we fancy the adventure and we've felt comfortable there when we've visited... we don't dislike the uk - we sometimes feel happy and sometimes not so happy here... sometimes things p**s us off, sometimes they don't... some attitudes and people/groups irritate, some don't.... we expect that we'll feel the same in NZ, but hope that the happy days outnumber the not so happy days.

we have to move from where we are now and figure we should try NZ cos we can - we've considered other places around the UK, but think if we're starting afresh somewhere then it may as well be NZ as anywhere else! There are opportunities for OH (funnily enough lardyl, in news/current affairs broadcasting!) and my skills are transferrable, so why not?

we're still on the immigration journey and have really appreciated assistance and responses from many BE members that have been helpful and thoughtful, so thank you!

hope that's been on-topic enough, and that you lot in NZ don't mind too much a post from someone who isn't!

best get back to work...

P2L

I too miss the fact that news and current affairs were pretty much on 'tap' in the UK, with Sky News, Newsnight etc

Thank God for BBC online, although I find that has quite a 'lightweight' reporting fashion too

UKNZAUS

After 13 months I had given up trying to speak to the mums at Kindy/school - they always look at me like I've just slapped them round the face with a wet snapper if I ever dare to speak to them or try and strike up a conversation. Anyway, this past week they have all tried speaking to me and I replied politely but now I know why they wanted to speak to me, I'm not all that keen on becoming friendly with them. I tried and tried yet they ignored and snubbed me - I don't want/need people like that in my life. I have had so many negative people in my life the past 17 months here and now I'm shot of all of them I feel much happier in myself I'm not constantly watching what I say as it gets gossiped and twisted around dinner tables and used for brownie points to get up someone else' arse.

I have found some very good expat friends who I much prefer to spend my time with. I have had more fun with these friends in the past 2-3 months than the whole of my time in NZ.

Batty

There are so many good points in these posts.

I don't want to get my news from overseas but OMG the number of times I've thrown down the Herald in disgust at the number of grammatical and spelling errors - never mind the lack of proper news!

I'm also married to a lovely Kiwi man and I do like the kiwis in general. As everywhere there are always going to be w*****s but I don't meet enough of them for it to be a problem.

We're struggling money wise at the moment but it's our fault - not New Zealand's. We've made a couple of bad decisions over the last few months. We'll sort it though .... because we always do.

I like living here more than I've ever liked living anywhere else but that's the sticker I think - we're LIVING here so we're going to get the problems just like we would (and did) in other places.

In theory I'd love to live in a small town or in the country. In practice, I couldn't do it. Small towns are the same the world over and Billy Connolly always comes into my mind when talking about them - just because we're divorced doesn't mean we can't still be cousins

I'm with Am Loolah on the alcohol (although I've got a chest infection at the moment and have to take antibotics for FOUR weeks - so that's going to be a change of pace )

Work makes me, not unhappy as such, but it does make me very stressed and I'm blaming it for my chest infection at the moment! I love the company but the person I work for is awfully high maintenance - and is not a Kiwi! I yo yo between loving it and hating it and because I'm pretty well paid it's difficult to move for the less stressful but less well paid job.

So - happy/unhappy - same as most people.