shirl

We may be returning this year once the house sells and I keep popping over to the Moving Back to the UK Forum every now and then to ask a few questions and read what others are saying. I think it all depends on where you move back to, a lot of negative posts are from people living in large cities where there are loads and loads of problems as there are any where in the world! Having being a Devon girl borne and bred I hope to move back to the South West somewhere to be near to our family and I do feel very isolated here. Plus it costs loads of money to travel anywhere from here. However, there is a battle going on in my head every now and then as to whether we are doing the right thing and the heart always wins! We also have family in Majorca and we miss not being able to pop over for some lovely Mediterranean sun when the need arises. It comes down to where your soul wants to be happy, for some NZ is the answer and I went back to the UK last year and thought how scruffy it was but with the ongoing quakes and stuff I feel that NZ is no longer the place for me to be and I do long to visit so much of Great Britain and Europe that we never got to see. There is only so much of NZ I want to see, some places I don't even desire to visit. With all the problems that may be in the UK there are still problems here and lets face it, lovely scenery and beautiful winter days here in NZ mean Jack S***t unless you can wake up every day and feel happy to be here. If not, then there's your answer. Good luck on your return.

Stormer999

Sorry but that is a generalisation....there are schools in the UK where you wouldn't even dare take your kids to....

scrubbedexpat094

As I've already said, the recession wasn't readily apparent to us. Seemed to be a lot of people shopping & eating out. How many jobs there are going though I can't help you with.

Talking to friends & family though, I do know there are lots of cut-backs in the public sector field. One of the lasses I used to work with at Derby Royal hospital was telling me how terrible things are there.

But it depends on your field of work, where you plan to live & where your family are. I'm sure you will be doing plenty of research before you make the decision but perhaps asking a few questions in the MBTTUK forum (as Shirl suggested) can't do any harm.

nelsonpom

Thanks for all the comments, I didn't realize that there was a page already for people thinking of returning. The house situation is easy enough as its pretty easy to rent our house here and I don't believe it's all or nothing. We would be going back primarily for our daughter so would see no reason to sell here yet.

HeatherGirl

Hi Nelsonpom

You haven't said how old your daughter is? Only reason I ask, is that support is fantastic when kids are little but as they get older you may feel like you need it less. Obviously relationships with the wider family will always benefit your child but the practical help will be less crucial as the kids get older.

Having said that - I'm in the process of emigrating to NZ. We'll be leaving the grandparents etc but at six, our twins are getting easier and easier and can be taken on bike rides, dinners out etc with minimun stress and fuss!

With regards the recession, I haven't felt it personally, but the doom and gloom on the news everyday is hard to take and there's no sign of it getting any better.

I wish you well with your decision Nelsonpom, I think you're right to keep your options open, if you can. Oh, and P.S. IT IS SNOWING HERE RIGHT NOW!

HeatherGirl

Addictedtosushi

Hi Nelsonpom thought I would answer this but did not really want to as I feel like a failure!!

Basically I moved back to the UK after nearly 8 years of living in NZ and
I hate it!!!It just constantly reminds me of why I left the UK in the first place.

I have been back nearly 5 months and me and hubby have decided that we are going too basically work our arses off to get back to NZ as the thought of bringing our children up in the UK just depresses us!!!
That is our experience and alot of people will not agree with us but I do not give a sh** because they must not have the dilemma of which is the best place to bring your kids up in.

Thats my input but I tell you what the supermarkets are cheap as chips for lovely good quality food and the internet is cheap as chips but it is not enough for me to want to stay and bring my kids up as my kids had reallly good lives in NZ as they were allowed to be children.

dannigirl

Hi Nelsonpom,

I agree with previous poster who said that it gets easier as kids get older. We live in London without any family support at all and it was very difficult for the first 18 months as new parents, then it all just clicked and I suddenly realised that I had stopped complaining about the lack of family support! We now have number 2 and it's much easier all round. For us we we want to be close to one side of the family either in Wales or in NZ, so I guess we are really moving for family support (we are also itching to get out of London) but we are doing what is best for our little family. Family support, connections and relationships with our families are really important to us. Having said that if our families lived in totally crap areas it might be rather more difficult to make the decision.

I don't believe you should move totally for your daughter, if you want and need family support and you are happy to live in the UK then what is stopping you?

Things are tough here in the UK but there are people bucking the trend, and what I like about the recession is that people think a lot more about the simple pleasures in life and there is a sense of not taking things for granted.

I am on holiday at the moment in West Wales, and as much as I love it it's not home and I compare everything in my head!!!! Even the small country places are busy here and one thing I will never get used to is the British seaside etiquette. Think chavs on the beach and chip fat smells permeating everywhere! I just can't get used to it.

The UK is not all doom and gloom , but as others have said it all depends where you live. For me it's just always that feeling of not fitting in but I think I could make a happy life in the UK if NZ could not offer what we want for our little family.

How do YOU feel about going back to the UK? Why did you move in the first place?

Good luck, it's not an easy decision when you don't feel really strongly one way or another (hopefully for you that will come)

Apologies for any typos, on iPhone in crappy reception area!

Nice Guy

Sorry just strayed in here accidentally after someone mentioned sex.



For my 2c worth, sell up (Exchange rate may be in your favour), move back to the UK -> return to NZ when the time is right (Exchange rate may favour the GBP).

Jolly good luck whatever you decide to do.

babybella

Hi we returned to the UK 11 years ago as I wanted my boys to sped time with my family. Hate to say it but was dissapointed with the level of support my family gave. Anyway we have just returned to NZ and believe that at present for my kids they are better off here. Our 22 year old came with us. In the UK he was about to lose his job in a call centre and join a large number of his friends on the dole. Here he has a good job which he loves. Our oldest had already given up working in London and re-located to Sydney. our youngest settled into school here fine.
On the whole though I am not dissapointed that we went back to the UK for those years, we had great fun travelling Europe with the kids, and spending time (in short bursts) with family. But just to move for family support as my main reason I would have been dissapointed with the outcome.
If you have the cash, maybe go for a long holiday to help you make up your mind
Good luck
Kaz

babybella

Well you don't have kids, so how do you know where you would bring them up.
Having lived with kids in both places I would def bring them up here.
Kaz

babybella

Just wanted to comment on this, our biggest regret was not keeping our house in NZ while we were in the UK. Had we done so and paid it off whilst in the uk we would so be dollars in now.
Kaz

Buw 541

Being a teacher and having taught in both countries I would not send my kids (if i had any) to a school in the UK. Those i worked at were horrendous (north of England) and not a patch on the schools in NZ. Children definitely have a better life in NZ imo.

Kija

Hi, I'm sorry I don't have any advice to give as I haven't been to the UK since the '70's! But I wanted to wish you the best of luck. It's not an easy decision to make and I really hope things turn out right for you whatever you decide to do.

Bo-Jangles

Crikey theres some right smart arses about, you've been incredibly busy working if you can compare every school in the 'North of England' to every school in the NZ. Utterly ridiculous statement, as is the one that says you can't form an opinion if you don't have any kids. One thing we share, is we've all been kids at some stage of our lives and I am eternally grateful that I was brought up in the UK with all the opportunites that afforded me. I can't see the same would have been true if I had been brought up in sleeepytown NZ and borne out really by the sheer numbers of young folk who can't wait to leave as soon as they are able.

There's good, bad and indifferent in every area and variances numerous along the scale of what we might consider the best to the worst. Any place is only as good as the sum of all the parts and even one or two teachers with good or bad reps in a school can swing the balance one way or another.

If the OP is going back to be alongsde family, he and his wife already know the areas and will have the inside info on what's good and not so good about the areas they are thinking of returning to.

I wish you well Nelsonpom in whatever you decide, NZ will still be here should you want to return. Thankfully none of us have our lives carved out in stone with a prescription that says we must soldier on and accept that this is it forever. Cleary some seem to see it as a sign of weakness or that there is some kind of shame in returning, but you do whatever you feel is right for you and your family.

Spacecake799

Hi Bo-Jangles,

Just wanted to agree with what you said. We all came to NZ for a reason. Ours was to offer a better life for our kids. Did we get it? No I don't think so. We got a different lifestyle and not one we want right now.
We only have a very small family and can't afford to go back on holiday. They are not able to come out to us.
After 5 years our soon to be teenager is wanting to see the grandparents and Europe and why shouldn't they. I never signed up for never seeing my family again.
As for the schools, you really think they are better here BUW? We are in a good area with decile 10 schools and I think my kids would have done so much better staying in the UK. I also think there are more oportunitys there.
For small children I think NZ could be great, for teenagers I don't think theres much here for them. I also think its boring here. I can't deny it looks great and I love the weather in the summer but thats not enough.
Nelson Pom, if you want to go back to family do it. NZ will still be here if you want to return. Don't miss out on your relatives you have plenty of time to do other things.
Good luck to you

Carole