scrubbedexpat094

Hi all,

I've been out of circulation for a wee while now. Mainly because I had a major bout of homesickness through the winter & didn't want to come on here & knock NZ. I'm feeling alot better now but am still very torn about whether I want to stay in NZ.

I miss my job as a midwife but know I can't work in the system here (I've posted the reasons why in previous posts & am not going to repeat myself). I miss the NHS so much (& I never thought I'd hear myself say that. Guess I worked at two great hospitals in the Midlands with a great team of Midwives, HCA's, Obs etc).

I am considering renewing my UK registration & going back next winter (NZ) to work for a few months. With a view to returning permanently the following year. However, my OH loves living here & is doing really well work-wise & professionally. I don't want to make him unhappy.

I have lost confidence in myself to be able to do anything now & just don't know where to go next. I want a job that stretches me & interests me.

There's so much I miss from the UK..... decent clothes shops, furniture shops, central heating, double glazing etc. And I know this is silly but I miss hamsters. I've always had a Syrian hamster since I was little & the thought of never having one again saddens me. I've thought of having other pets but they all leave me cold.

Obviously being so far away from family is hard, I never thought I was that particularly close to them but recently my eldest brother was seriously ill & it brought it home to me how far away I am.

I know that there are aspects of life in NZ that I would miss terribly if I went back. We have made some wonderful friends here who have provided me with fantastic support over the last few months, I don't know what I would've done without them. I love living by the sea & am spoilt for choice re: beaches.
But fundamentally, I don't feel financially secure here & that causes me a great deal of worry. I was well aware that you don't come to NZ to get rich but equally I didn't expect to have to worry about whether I can afford to go to the doctor or dentist etc.

I feel that we have taken a huge step backwards coming here, we had a good life in England, never had money worries, went on 3 or 4 hols every year. Our mortgage would have been paid off in less than two years time (as opposed to the 22 years here!!!!).

So I'm still in a quandry as to what to do.

But hey I'm back & the weather is getting warmer

Merseygirl

Glad to hear you are feeling better and can venture back onto the forum again. I am in Australia but occasionally look at the NZ forum as some of the problems in NZ are also problems for expats in Australia (particularly the distance from family!).

It is a good idea to take a break from the forum when you feeling very homesick and have done the same myself.
Sometimes, if your feeling just a little homesick, it is reassuring to read about other peoples experiences and to know that you are never alone.
But I do understand how you feel and the mental turmoil involved. Have been through it many times myself.
Hope things continue to get better for you

BEVS

No. I don't remember you. Who are you Bugger Off

Now see here. I had noticed that me Big Sticks was AWOL and woz going to PM you a couple of times but decided to leave you in peace instead as I did think you might be having a wee bit of the blues /homesickness/thoughts on life thing.
Dunno why you didn't just come down to me for a massive moan-in (with wine). I get just the same way. Husband is fine here. The jury remains out for me .

Can I just say too, that it's OK to have a groan about an NZ life just as it is to have a groan about a UK life , life in general & it;s right to think to the future. Sod the one's that feel the need to make a point over someone else's glooms. They don't walk in your shoes.

I dunno where you'll end up in the end Big Sticks. I do think a UK trial run is a great idea. Your bloke will just want you to be happy mate. He loves you .
Anyway. It is really lovely to see you back here .....and..... you are just in time for the annual Halloween Spookfest. I'll work on your scary Big Sticks avatar.

luvwelly

Welcome back Vital.
The sunshine definitely helps the mood, I would agree.

scrubbedexpat094

Ta muchly peeps

Looking forward to the scary avatar thing Bevs

Bo-Jangles

Hey Vital, nice to see you back! I could have written almost an identical post myself and I think there are a lot of people in a similar quandry. Like you I don't hate it enough to up and leave tomorrow and just bumble along from day to day mostly to keep the peace. In the same vein financially we're sitting on a ticking time bomb; everything except the wages keeps going up and often it seems like we're flogging a dead horse just to stay upright. Even my OH, who up until very recently never had any inclinations to go back, is now asking the big questions 'WTF are we doing here?' TBH the whole thought of the costs in returning and unravelling what life we do have all over again scares me witless.

Keep your chin up, the long dreary winter months don't help one to keep motivated and upbeat and I have certainly felt a lot better over the last couple of weeks with daylight saving and a bit of sunshine and warmth.

Jan n Neil

Sorry to hear you have struggled lately: I am beginning to think that it's a rare couple that BOTH feel as good as each other here.

As for shops, shopping and clothes: When I saw "Made in China" in a Per Una label from M&S, I did start to feel a bit different about what's on offer here.... depends which city you are near, but after 12 months I have finally found some shops in ChCh that I feel are equivalent quality/price to the UK, be it young jeans and tops stuff, or more high end. My latest work suits and shirts were bought here

And when I do get to go abroad, shopping is a real pleasure instead of it's-a-wet-Saturday-afternoon-in-Manchester-nothing-else-to-do-activity

Also I never had 3-4 holidays a year in the UK and I don't here, but my house feels like a holiday every weekend

Jan

Margaret Parkinson

Don't get me started on where things are made. I have now stopped shopping in M & S, Next, Gap etc because of where their clothes are made. I have nothing against giving people work but their prices do not reflect what they pay their workers. It was in the news only the other week they pay as little as £4 per day to sweatshops in India.

Having been to NZ on a number of occasions we see most people in shorts & tee-shirts anyway so there is not the need for fashionable clothing the same as it is here.

June

Woodpigeon

Just wanted to add my name to the list along with vitalstatistix and Bo-jangles.

I'm currently reeling from the shock of having to pay for 'family planning' (don't need to plan, I have my family, just don't want to add to it Lol). Don't they realize that paying for/subsidising contraception is cheaper than the alternative??!! Not to mention being told that I can either wait 6 months for a simple out patients 'op' or pay a small fortune to have it done within a couple of weeks privately.

Add to that the fact that our medical centre wanted to charge $62 to tell daughter what vaccinations she should have and to remember general hygeine for her holiday to China! God, I miss the NHS more with every health issue we experience

And the price of a lotto has gone up thanks to GST, but the thought of winning even a share of $24 million persuaded me to still buy a ticket - a decent lotto win is the only way I can see me getting back to Blighty!!

Dewb09

Good to see you back
Dewb

Bo-Jangles

I'm reminded of an article I read a little while back that said the longer that migrants stay here, the less that they like it. It sure rings true with a lot of people I know.

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/ar...ectid=10676736

RobDon

Ditto what Dewb says

Bo-Jangles

That's probably quite true of folks here on holidays but in reality we types who work in the big cities, in offices etc still have to wear some semblance of 'formal' attire. I don't think many of us hanker after the latest fashions, for me just middle of the road, semi-decent quality that will withstand the test of time being washed and ironed week in and week out would suffice.

I have said it before on this forum; there's stuff made in China that is decent quality, nice fabrics and styles, including lots of the quality designer brands and then there's the cheap and nasty. It's just that we mostly get the latter in NZ, except they all too often forget the cheap bit and charge top dollar for it.

hazeandsteve

Hi VS, welcome back.

I feel a point pop into my head, but don't wish to appear mean.
Ahem...

if your mortgage in UK was so close to being paid off, do you feel you may have overextended yourself when you bought here.\
I know nothing of your equity situation, but we walked from UK with about 12 years paid off, and bought outright here. The lack of rent or mortgage makes life a lot easier.

dannigirl

Vitalstatistix....I am very sorry to hear that you are so homesick. I found great comfort on this forum (then ambivalence, then distress, then happiness again) in trying to work out what I wanted and what was best for us as a family. (Don't worry I did include my husband in some discussions...ha ha)

It seems like you have really thought things through but that ache is still there.

I think it's only natural for immigrants to begin to get itchy feet, once you have made the massive move once, it must seem so easy to do it all again.

I bet your hubby just wants a happy wife!

Good luck!