Matewx

Hey Jack!
First of all Kia Ora & Welcome!
Argh! I can only imagine how you feel... I left my lovely french family over 7yrs ago now to go to Uk first... It was awfull... Now am here in NZ it's harder! My dad (who I only saw crying at funerals) cried his eyes out, so did Mum... But like every parents, they accepted my choice to explore the world...

Your parents have been very good to you & respected your choice! Which is fab'... You made a decision & it's not now that you need to make an other one... Let the dust settle mate & see what's what in a couple of weeks/months... ~ i mean I nearly did not get on the plane me, it's my lovely bf that was shouting at me on the phone to f'ing shut up & get on the f'ing plane... (He only flew out a month later) Bottom line being, when al the emotions are playing you up, stick to the original plan & give it a go! You can always holiday over here once a year (by which time you'll be so happy to leave them behind... lol)!

Be strong!

And please, create your own ID on BE so we can message you without mummy & daddy knowing & vice versa... I mean Parents dont need to know it all, do they!

Feel free to message any of us!

Jan n Neil

Not sure what to say, I feel for you family is a very strong pull but you are young and have lots of time sit down and carefully think about what you really want, then follow your heart/head

Neil

Persephone

Aww Jack
Sorry that you're having such a hard time. I know it's a cliche but time does heal things and you will start to feel better about it. At the moment everything is too soon and raw for you-after all your parents and siblings have just moved to the other side of the world and now you have to fend for yourself. It's all suddenly become real.
You live next door to your grandparents, I'm sure they are going through this as well. Depending on which side of the family they will be missing a son or daughter and inlaw plus three of their grandchildren. Could you talk to them and have a good cry with them if you are able to?
Usually it's the kids that flee the nest when they're ready and leave the parentsyou've got it the other way round and probably feel that you no longer have a base that you can always return to if necessary. As my dad said when I left [kicking and screaming onto the plane, nearly flooded the airport and the plane with tears] we are only a 26 hour plane ride away!!! Yes it's a long way but you can just do that-book it and go.

Matewx gave some very good advice; let yourself get over the initial shock of them leaving and then make a decision. You made the decision to stay and didn't waver from that when it would have been so easy to do so. Whatever you finally decide to do you will have shown that you are adult enough to stand on your own two feet.
Your parents must be incredibly proud of you, they have a loving son who is mature enough to choose his own path in life and also mature enough not to be afraid to admit to his feelings and have a good cry if needs be

Now you go and start looking after yourself!!!

All the best
Sue x

Matewx

YES!!! Errrrmm What's new???

Wooly_Cow

Hi Jack,

First and foremost you have done the right thing by finding a way to express the way you feel and to seek support. You’ve also told your parents how you feel which is vital……keep talking with them. It’ll make you feel better, less isolated and closer to them.

I have 4 children, one of whom is 18 and going to university in the UK. She is currently here until September but then will be leaving us. She seems quite happy about the situation and planning BUT whatever her choice we will be happy for her and support her and of course never stop loving her. I’m sure your parents feel exactly the same.

As the guys have already said (sometimes not too modestly – Matewx you know who you are ), firstly start looking after yourself, eat well and healthy, and getting some good sleep. Sorry I forgot to add, I was here for about a year whilst my family stayed in the UK so I know a lot of what you are going through. As the others have said, give it some time before you make up your mind. Talk to family and friends (and by that I mean actual people as well as virtual one online!) And don’t forget, whatever you decide it will be the right thing to do.

You will look back on this time as one when you learnt a lot about yourself. They say that you reveal your true personality when you are put under pressure and from what I have read you should be very proud of yourself.

So take a deep breath, head up and say to yourself that your family loves you and you will get through this time a better and stronger person……just think about all the stories you are going to be able to tell your mates and eventually kids!

….and if the worst comes to the worst – jump on a plane……it’s only money and it’s only 26 hours (or about 4 feature films, two episodes of The Big Bang Theory, 4 meals and an interesting brief experience of our American cousins at LAX) away.

RobDon

haha - really thanks to everybody who is helping me get through this. They have gone the 'other' way. They're in Dubai at the minute, and due to fly out to Sydney within the hour and then on to Auckland. I'm still quite upset but I feel a lot better for talking about it with people who understand.
....Or one of the Lord Of The Rings films

RobDon

I'm going home in about 30 mins so I'll be on again either tonight or if I can sort out my computer & internet in my flat. Thanks everybody.

Kija

I'm happy you're feeling a bit better. Can't imagine how difficult it all is! But like others have said, you're young and the world is your oyster. Making decisions can be very hard (I'm terrible with them!), but I'm sure you'll find out what you really want

You're right to try to keep busy, keeping busy helps, gets your mind off things for a bit. Take good care of yourself and you're not alone!

Wooly_Cow

I'll tell Peter (Jackson that is) to keep the next one shorter. Actually they are finshing off a few films at Weta Studios at the moment - a mate of mine has the coolest job - he's head of scarey masks there!

Wooly_Cow

Well said K....but one correction...you're of the female persausion right....so making decisions isn't your thing really .....ducks and runs !!!!!

Kija

It's our prerogative to not have to make decisions! That way when things go wrong we can blame someone else

Wooly_Cow

ah yes of course -have a good weeknd guys - due to rain here after weeks of good weather - on the other hand start of footy season in England- YEAH!

Kija

I haven't seen rain in years

So the grass IS greener on the other side

Bo-Jangles

Good on ya Jack, it would take a lot of courage to come on here and say what you have and I'm sure in no time at all you will be reunited with your family.

I think for all of us in the emigration scenario it is never easy, we always seem to be hurting somebody if we stay or go and someone will always be upset for periods of time. The way you felt the past few days I have felt every time after a family visit, they come to NZ have a good time and leave. I end up being a physical and mental wreck for days after they have gone, with uncontrollable tears, but you do soon rally around and put it into perspective. They're not 'that' far away, you can talk to them, skype, e-mails etc, it is the time in between whilst they are travelling that's the worst.

I feel really bad and so guilty at times, when I think how broken hearted my mum must have been when we left the UK, because it never really hit me until it was my turn to be waving them off at the departure gates.

BEVS

I'm not going to pour loads more words of wisdom into your earholes right now.

If you want to have your own BE login and name , go right on ahead. Choose summat that reflects you . That way you won't have to log in as your Mum and Dad, unless that makes you somehow feel closer to them of course.

Try and enjoy your weekend. You only live once you know , so go have some fun and stop beating yourself up. It's OK to break loose from your family and do your own thing. You'll see 'em again. If it gets too bad just jump a plane. Not right now of course. Laters , when the emotions have calmed down a bit. If your not sure how, we'll try and help. If you get peed off just post to BE and we'll be here to listen.

It won't help you but after I arrived here I could have jumped a plane back to my Dad at any moment and I wasn't 19....or 21.....or 31......or

Get yourself together with some mates and see how you feel in a few days time.