NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?
Nov 14th 2012, 11:29 pm
#46
you dewty owld maan!
Joined: Oct 2005
Location: is practically perfect in every way
Posts: 5,565
Re: NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?
Same here. I met great Kiwis but most either have lived abroad or are in the process of leaving.
I lived in several countries before coming here and in several different cities in Germany, never had problems in making friends even tough people were all well settled and established in their home country/town with friends and families. But NZ is more difficult. I think you either fit NZ streamline culture or you will be in trouble. There is not much social variety here, not many options for people that want to live differently.
I lived in several countries before coming here and in several different cities in Germany, never had problems in making friends even tough people were all well settled and established in their home country/town with friends and families. But NZ is more difficult. I think you either fit NZ streamline culture or you will be in trouble. There is not much social variety here, not many options for people that want to live differently.
Hence the kind of people that are totally satisfied with life here (and I have good mates that never set foot off NZ until their mid-30s) are not the same type as those satisfied in the UK, mainland Europe, the US, etc.
I'm satisfied here so that probably makes me more of a Kiwi than other mates who always want to be off to other places. Maybe this isolation acts to polarise us, makes many Kiwis want to form part of the "most travelled group in the world" whereas the others just want to form their own groups here and so appear less "sociable".
Just an off the top of the head, theory thing, that might explain what people experience of making friends, aquaintances, etc in NZ. Probably totally wrong but there it is.....
Nov 18th 2012, 7:55 am
#47
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jan 2010
Location: In the middle of the continent
Posts: 2,405
Re: NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?
I reckon NZ life suits a narrower range of people than life in some, how shall I put it? "better connected"??, countries.
Hence the kind of people that are totally satisfied with life here (and I have good mates that never set foot off NZ until their mid-30s) are not the same type as those satisfied in the UK, mainland Europe, the US, etc.
I'm satisfied here so that probably makes me more of a Kiwi than other mates who always want to be off to other places. Maybe this isolation acts to polarise us, makes many Kiwis want to form part of the "most travelled group in the world" whereas the others just want to form their own groups here and so appear less "sociable".
Just an off the top of the head, theory thing, that might explain what people experience of making friends, aquaintances, etc in NZ. Probably totally wrong but there it is.....
Hence the kind of people that are totally satisfied with life here (and I have good mates that never set foot off NZ until their mid-30s) are not the same type as those satisfied in the UK, mainland Europe, the US, etc.
I'm satisfied here so that probably makes me more of a Kiwi than other mates who always want to be off to other places. Maybe this isolation acts to polarise us, makes many Kiwis want to form part of the "most travelled group in the world" whereas the others just want to form their own groups here and so appear less "sociable".
Just an off the top of the head, theory thing, that might explain what people experience of making friends, aquaintances, etc in NZ. Probably totally wrong but there it is.....
Last edited by Assanah; Nov 18th 2012 at 8:53 am.
Nov 18th 2012, 12:58 pm
#48
She'll be right
Joined: Sep 2012
Location: Near the beach, NZ
Posts: 1,498
Re: NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?
Assanah, you've been cropping up a lot in the NZ forum recently and seem readily on hand with negative comments. I cannot for the life of me understand why, if you have a bee in your bonnet about a country, you would constantly keep posting about just how crap you think it is. Surely the more a person wallows in their dislike towards a country (or anything for that matter) the worse you're going to feel about it. A random example being when I broke my leg a few years ago - the more I thought about the pain the more it hurt and the more I felt miserable, but the more I got on with things the less I noticed it. Why not just accept that a country isn't for you and move on, rather than bitching in forums to other people who don't like it. The only thing that's going to achieve is fuelling your dislike for a place, which is only going to make you feel worse. Why not just accept it's not for you, be done with it, make peace with it and move on. You never know once you stop moaning so much you may actually start to like it! Instead of posting so much negative rubbish get out and explore what NZ has to offer, try something different and try something new.
I Personally am not 100% happy in the UK and do have my problems with it, but I wouldn't go into the UK forum and express my disdain towards it. To me, it's just not necessary and doesn't achieve and awful lot, apart from wasting time and getting peoples' backs up. I also fully accept that just because I don't enjoy living in the UK many people do and I can understand why they do because everyone has different needs, goals and ambitions in life.
Rant over, time for Sunday lunch.
I Personally am not 100% happy in the UK and do have my problems with it, but I wouldn't go into the UK forum and express my disdain towards it. To me, it's just not necessary and doesn't achieve and awful lot, apart from wasting time and getting peoples' backs up. I also fully accept that just because I don't enjoy living in the UK many people do and I can understand why they do because everyone has different needs, goals and ambitions in life.
Rant over, time for Sunday lunch.
Nov 18th 2012, 6:17 pm
#49
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jan 2010
Location: In the middle of the continent
Posts: 2,405
Re: NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?
I am negative because i don't like NZ. Why does this bother you so much? And who says I am doing nothing? I have visited many parts of nz, probably more then you. I am at the beach regularly, a go to arts exhibitions, meet friends for breakfast or drinks or movies. I play tennis and joined a gym etc. pp and still think that nz is an uninspiring place to live. I simply don't see much positive about life here. Why can I not post it?
Nov 18th 2012, 6:37 pm
#50
Banned
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 114
Re: NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?
you will never be a Kiwi any more than I will feel like a Aussie.
Nov 18th 2012, 6:52 pm
#51
Banned
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 114
Re: NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?
Well I reckon .... wait for it .... you should go back to Scotland. It really does sound as though you'd be happier there, and that's what counts the most.
Being a kiwi myself, I really wanted to touch on the difficulty you have had creating friendships with kiwis. I think someone else said earlier, that the problem is that most of us already have enough longterm friendships (old schoolfriends, relatives etc) to keep us satisfied socially, which makes it difficult for someone new to break into, and that includes fellow kiwis. Most probably don't realise that you are struggling. Have you asked a fellow worker, or a neighbour to your house for dinner? If so, what do they say? When you went camping, did you ask people in the next tent over for a barbecue or something? Stick the barbie on, throw some sausages on it, have a few loaves of bread and butter handy. You can't go wrong with that! If it was me you were asking, I would have said yes. If they say no, ask the person in the tent across the way. Have you thought about joining a club of some sort? A lions club, for example, is a great place to meet and get to know other people. They're the things that come to mind when I hear people saying that kiwis are so hard to befriend anyway. You've got to be proactive. They can't help get to know you if you join some sort of social club. Kiwi's are basically from the same gene pool as the Brits, so there can't be that much of a difference in terms of friendliness etc .... perhaps I'm wrong ... but that's what I reckon anyway. In fact, I reckon that the citizens of any country in the world are basically as friendly as any other (perhaps except for the Taliban. lol)
Being a kiwi myself, I really wanted to touch on the difficulty you have had creating friendships with kiwis. I think someone else said earlier, that the problem is that most of us already have enough longterm friendships (old schoolfriends, relatives etc) to keep us satisfied socially, which makes it difficult for someone new to break into, and that includes fellow kiwis. Most probably don't realise that you are struggling. Have you asked a fellow worker, or a neighbour to your house for dinner? If so, what do they say? When you went camping, did you ask people in the next tent over for a barbecue or something? Stick the barbie on, throw some sausages on it, have a few loaves of bread and butter handy. You can't go wrong with that! If it was me you were asking, I would have said yes. If they say no, ask the person in the tent across the way. Have you thought about joining a club of some sort? A lions club, for example, is a great place to meet and get to know other people. They're the things that come to mind when I hear people saying that kiwis are so hard to befriend anyway. You've got to be proactive. They can't help get to know you if you join some sort of social club. Kiwi's are basically from the same gene pool as the Brits, so there can't be that much of a difference in terms of friendliness etc .... perhaps I'm wrong ... but that's what I reckon anyway. In fact, I reckon that the citizens of any country in the world are basically as friendly as any other (perhaps except for the Taliban. lol)
In my experience and that includes living in 8 different countries, travelling a lot and having always been an expat, I found the Kiwis in NZ to be parochial, unfriendly, indifferent and unhelpful. That is my view from my personal experience. The friendliest people I have come across are the South Africans. The Kiwis in New Zealand just seemed a miserable bunch as a nation, deeply competitive and can turn nasty if you dare say that you are finding it tough in NZ. However the Kiwis that I have met outside of NZ are a different kettle of fish. Friendly, happy and forward thinking. Maybe it is the harsh reality of living in NZ that does it, I dont know, but nicer abroad than at home, they seem to travel well.
Sorry to burst your bubble but that is my experience.
Last edited by tweetweet; Nov 18th 2012 at 6:55 pm.
Nov 18th 2012, 7:06 pm
#52
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,787
Re: NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?
I beg to differ.
In my experience and that includes living in 8 different countries, travelling a lot and having always been an expat, I found the Kiwis in NZ to be parochial, unfriendly, indifferent and unhelpful. That is my view from my personal experience. The friendliest people I have come across are the South Africans. The Kiwis in New Zealand just seemed a miserable bunch as a nation, deeply competitive and can turn nasty if you dare say that you are finding it tough in NZ. However the Kiwis that I have met outside of NZ are a different kettle of fish. Friendly, happy and forward thinking. Maybe it is the harsh reality of living in NZ that does it, I dont know, but nicer abroad than at home, they seem to travel well.
Sorry to burst your bubble but that is my experience.
In my experience and that includes living in 8 different countries, travelling a lot and having always been an expat, I found the Kiwis in NZ to be parochial, unfriendly, indifferent and unhelpful. That is my view from my personal experience. The friendliest people I have come across are the South Africans. The Kiwis in New Zealand just seemed a miserable bunch as a nation, deeply competitive and can turn nasty if you dare say that you are finding it tough in NZ. However the Kiwis that I have met outside of NZ are a different kettle of fish. Friendly, happy and forward thinking. Maybe it is the harsh reality of living in NZ that does it, I dont know, but nicer abroad than at home, they seem to travel well.
Sorry to burst your bubble but that is my experience.
Not bursting my bubble mate, I just get on with it and make the most of life, whinging is bad for your health
blimey oh Riley!!!!!
Nov 18th 2012, 7:31 pm
#54
---
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 2,994
Re: NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?
Not my experience AT ALL. So was it them or you?
Nov 18th 2012, 8:04 pm
#55
*********
Joined: May 2008
Location: Up in dem hills.........
Posts: 1,458
Re: NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?
And on and on and on it goes.........
Assanah, reading this, you have a lot of things going on in your life, you seem to want for nothing, you have a decent standard of living, more perhaps than other posters here. So my only conclusion of your continual negative postings, is that you are bored. Which says more about you, rather than the place you live in.
Anyway I am fed up of this constant game of ping pong!
Catchafire out.
I am negative because i don't like NZ. Why does this bother you so much? And who says I am doing nothing? I have visited many parts of nz, probably more then you. I am at the beach regularly, a go to arts exhibitions, meet friends for breakfast or drinks or movies. I play tennis and joined a gym etc. pp and still think that nz is an uninspiring place to live. I simply don't see much positive about life here. Why can I not post it?
Anyway I am fed up of this constant game of ping pong!
Catchafire out.
Nov 18th 2012, 8:28 pm
#56
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jan 2010
Location: In the middle of the continent
Posts: 2,405
Re: NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?
And on and on and on it goes.........
Assanah, reading this, you have a lot of things going on in your life, you seem to want for nothing, you have a decent standard of living, more perhaps than other posters here. So my only conclusion of your continual negative postings, is that you are bored. Which says more about you, rather than the place you live in.
Anyway I am fed up of this constant game of ping pong!
Catchafire out.
Assanah, reading this, you have a lot of things going on in your life, you seem to want for nothing, you have a decent standard of living, more perhaps than other posters here. So my only conclusion of your continual negative postings, is that you are bored. Which says more about you, rather than the place you live in.
Anyway I am fed up of this constant game of ping pong!
Catchafire out.
I have written that I think NZ is a boring and uninspiring place to live in for me so please explain why your conclusion that I am bored is such a relief to you. Can you thereby justify your aggressiveness towards me? Does it make you feel better if you think me to be a bored human who has a decent standard of living instead of say an unhappy person who is struggling?
Nov 18th 2012, 10:06 pm
#57
Just Joined
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 9
Re: NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?
Hi,
New Zealand is a beautiful country and I can see why people move here. It is a giant playground and because of the better weather people spend more time outdoors than they would back in Scotland. The thing is though, all the things we do here, we could do back home. Tramping, mountain biking etc. We feel that having more sunshine just isn't enough to want us to stay here. Scotland is also a beautiful country with lots of beautiful places to visit. It does rain more often but you just learn to deal with the rain.
David
New Zealand is a beautiful country and I can see why people move here. It is a giant playground and because of the better weather people spend more time outdoors than they would back in Scotland. The thing is though, all the things we do here, we could do back home. Tramping, mountain biking etc. We feel that having more sunshine just isn't enough to want us to stay here. Scotland is also a beautiful country with lots of beautiful places to visit. It does rain more often but you just learn to deal with the rain.
David
The connection to family and friends as well as employment prospects were the greatest pull. We want our children to be part of their family and living in New Zealand without a good income will never allow for this.
Nov 19th 2012, 1:48 am
#58
Just Joined
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 18
Re: NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?
Kiwis (I am an expat New Zealander) like to consider ourselves to be friendly, outgoing, relaxed people. But something tends to get lost in translation, and certain gestures or jokes might get taken the wrong way by immigrants in NZ. I admit kiwis have a default chip on their shoulder about the people they refer to in a love/hate way as "Poms," but that usually disappears after they meet Brits on an individual basis. If you're Asian, you're out of luck.
Additionally wherever you live, making friends gets more difficult as you get older. People move away, you become more domesticated. If you are in a new town or new country, you make friends through your kids' friends. Socializing with workmates has its limitations. If you didn't go to school in your new town/country you immediately have a smaller pool of friends to draw from. I know all this from relocating to LA. Americans are friendly on the face of it, but they have their own families and lifelong friends. My wife finds it tough. I don't mind.
Anyway, how many friends do you need? Do you want to hang with people every spare minute? We're not at primary school anymore. To back up what an NZer said above, volunteering is perhaps the most efficient way of getting out and about, and enriching your life. Paradoxically smaller towns might be easier for this than the cities.
It pains me to see Brits unhappy in NZ. I do love you all, and empathize with your bravery in leaving the Mother Country. But as an exile, I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't sympathize with your plight.
Additionally wherever you live, making friends gets more difficult as you get older. People move away, you become more domesticated. If you are in a new town or new country, you make friends through your kids' friends. Socializing with workmates has its limitations. If you didn't go to school in your new town/country you immediately have a smaller pool of friends to draw from. I know all this from relocating to LA. Americans are friendly on the face of it, but they have their own families and lifelong friends. My wife finds it tough. I don't mind.
Anyway, how many friends do you need? Do you want to hang with people every spare minute? We're not at primary school anymore. To back up what an NZer said above, volunteering is perhaps the most efficient way of getting out and about, and enriching your life. Paradoxically smaller towns might be easier for this than the cities.
It pains me to see Brits unhappy in NZ. I do love you all, and empathize with your bravery in leaving the Mother Country. But as an exile, I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't sympathize with your plight.
Last edited by dgdevil; Nov 19th 2012 at 1:52 am. Reason: add final paragraph
Nov 19th 2012, 6:48 am
#59
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 1,213
Re: NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?
It's nice to see the odd post on here with logic and reason 
Some excellent points.
Some excellent points.
Nov 19th 2012, 9:06 am
#60
Banned
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 31
Re: NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?
I beg to differ.
In my experience and that includes living in 8 different countries, travelling a lot and having always been an expat, I found the Kiwis in NZ to be parochial, unfriendly, indifferent and unhelpful. That is my view from my personal experience. The friendliest people I have come across are the South Africans. The Kiwis in New Zealand just seemed a miserable bunch as a nation, deeply competitive and can turn nasty if you dare say that you are finding it tough in NZ. However the Kiwis that I have met outside of NZ are a different kettle of fish. Friendly, happy and forward thinking. Maybe it is the harsh reality of living in NZ that does it, I dont know, but nicer abroad than at home, they seem to travel well.
Sorry to burst your bubble but that is my experience.
In my experience and that includes living in 8 different countries, travelling a lot and having always been an expat, I found the Kiwis in NZ to be parochial, unfriendly, indifferent and unhelpful. That is my view from my personal experience. The friendliest people I have come across are the South Africans. The Kiwis in New Zealand just seemed a miserable bunch as a nation, deeply competitive and can turn nasty if you dare say that you are finding it tough in NZ. However the Kiwis that I have met outside of NZ are a different kettle of fish. Friendly, happy and forward thinking. Maybe it is the harsh reality of living in NZ that does it, I dont know, but nicer abroad than at home, they seem to travel well.
Sorry to burst your bubble but that is my experience.
spot on the button