Go Back  British Expats > Living & Moving Abroad > New Zealand
Reload this Page >

NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?

NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?

Old Nov 15th 2012, 12:29 am
  #46  
you dewty owld maan!
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Location: is practically perfect in every way
Posts: 5,565
lardyl has a reputation beyond reputelardyl has a reputation beyond reputelardyl has a reputation beyond reputelardyl has a reputation beyond reputelardyl has a reputation beyond reputelardyl has a reputation beyond reputelardyl has a reputation beyond reputelardyl has a reputation beyond reputelardyl has a reputation beyond reputelardyl has a reputation beyond reputelardyl has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?

Originally Posted by Assanah View Post
Same here. I met great Kiwis but most either have lived abroad or are in the process of leaving.
I lived in several countries before coming here and in several different cities in Germany, never had problems in making friends even tough people were all well settled and established in their home country/town with friends and families. But NZ is more difficult. I think you either fit NZ streamline culture or you will be in trouble. There is not much social variety here, not many options for people that want to live differently.
I reckon NZ life suits a narrower range of people than life in some, how shall I put it? "better connected"??, countries.
Hence the kind of people that are totally satisfied with life here (and I have good mates that never set foot off NZ until their mid-30s) are not the same type as those satisfied in the UK, mainland Europe, the US, etc.
I'm satisfied here so that probably makes me more of a Kiwi than other mates who always want to be off to other places. Maybe this isolation acts to polarise us, makes many Kiwis want to form part of the "most travelled group in the world" whereas the others just want to form their own groups here and so appear less "sociable".

Just an off the top of the head, theory thing, that might explain what people experience of making friends, aquaintances, etc in NZ. Probably totally wrong but there it is.....
lardyl is offline  
Old Nov 18th 2012, 8:55 am
  #47  
BE Forum Addict
 
Assanah's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2010
Location: In the middle of the continent
Posts: 2,240
Assanah has a reputation beyond reputeAssanah has a reputation beyond reputeAssanah has a reputation beyond reputeAssanah has a reputation beyond reputeAssanah has a reputation beyond reputeAssanah has a reputation beyond reputeAssanah has a reputation beyond reputeAssanah has a reputation beyond reputeAssanah has a reputation beyond reputeAssanah has a reputation beyond reputeAssanah has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?

Originally Posted by lardyl View Post
I reckon NZ life suits a narrower range of people than life in some, how shall I put it? "better connected"??, countries.
Hence the kind of people that are totally satisfied with life here (and I have good mates that never set foot off NZ until their mid-30s) are not the same type as those satisfied in the UK, mainland Europe, the US, etc.
I'm satisfied here so that probably makes me more of a Kiwi than other mates who always want to be off to other places. Maybe this isolation acts to polarise us, makes many Kiwis want to form part of the "most travelled group in the world" whereas the others just want to form their own groups here and so appear less "sociable".

Just an off the top of the head, theory thing, that might explain what people experience of making friends, aquaintances, etc in NZ. Probably totally wrong but there it is.....
I think you are right. You are either a Kiwi type or it will be difficult. I am definitely not a Kiwi type and obviously don't fit this forum either.

Last edited by Assanah; Nov 18th 2012 at 9:53 am.
Assanah is offline  
Old Nov 18th 2012, 1:58 pm
  #48  
She'll be right
 
Pom_Chch's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2012
Location: Near the beach, NZ
Posts: 1,495
Pom_Chch has a reputation beyond reputePom_Chch has a reputation beyond reputePom_Chch has a reputation beyond reputePom_Chch has a reputation beyond reputePom_Chch has a reputation beyond reputePom_Chch has a reputation beyond reputePom_Chch has a reputation beyond reputePom_Chch has a reputation beyond reputePom_Chch has a reputation beyond reputePom_Chch has a reputation beyond reputePom_Chch has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?

Assanah, you've been cropping up a lot in the NZ forum recently and seem readily on hand with negative comments. I cannot for the life of me understand why, if you have a bee in your bonnet about a country, you would constantly keep posting about just how crap you think it is. Surely the more a person wallows in their dislike towards a country (or anything for that matter) the worse you're going to feel about it. A random example being when I broke my leg a few years ago - the more I thought about the pain the more it hurt and the more I felt miserable, but the more I got on with things the less I noticed it. Why not just accept that a country isn't for you and move on, rather than bitching in forums to other people who don't like it. The only thing that's going to achieve is fuelling your dislike for a place, which is only going to make you feel worse. Why not just accept it's not for you, be done with it, make peace with it and move on. You never know once you stop moaning so much you may actually start to like it! Instead of posting so much negative rubbish get out and explore what NZ has to offer, try something different and try something new.

I Personally am not 100% happy in the UK and do have my problems with it, but I wouldn't go into the UK forum and express my disdain towards it. To me, it's just not necessary and doesn't achieve and awful lot, apart from wasting time and getting peoples' backs up. I also fully accept that just because I don't enjoy living in the UK many people do and I can understand why they do because everyone has different needs, goals and ambitions in life.

Rant over, time for Sunday lunch.
Pom_Chch is offline  
Old Nov 18th 2012, 7:17 pm
  #49  
BE Forum Addict
 
Assanah's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2010
Location: In the middle of the continent
Posts: 2,240
Assanah has a reputation beyond reputeAssanah has a reputation beyond reputeAssanah has a reputation beyond reputeAssanah has a reputation beyond reputeAssanah has a reputation beyond reputeAssanah has a reputation beyond reputeAssanah has a reputation beyond reputeAssanah has a reputation beyond reputeAssanah has a reputation beyond reputeAssanah has a reputation beyond reputeAssanah has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?

I am negative because i don't like NZ. Why does this bother you so much? And who says I am doing nothing? I have visited many parts of nz, probably more then you. I am at the beach regularly, a go to arts exhibitions, meet friends for breakfast or drinks or movies. I play tennis and joined a gym etc. pp and still think that nz is an uninspiring place to live. I simply don't see much positive about life here. Why can I not post it?
Assanah is offline  
Old Nov 18th 2012, 7:37 pm
  #50  
Banned
 
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 114
tweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud of
Default Re: NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?

you will never be a Kiwi any more than I will feel like a Aussie.
that sums up the Kiwi view of foreigners in New Zealand.
tweetweet is offline  
Old Nov 18th 2012, 7:52 pm
  #51  
Banned
 
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 114
tweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud of
Default Re: NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?

Originally Posted by waikatoguy View Post
Well I reckon .... wait for it .... you should go back to Scotland. It really does sound as though you'd be happier there, and that's what counts the most.

Being a kiwi myself, I really wanted to touch on the difficulty you have had creating friendships with kiwis. I think someone else said earlier, that the problem is that most of us already have enough longterm friendships (old schoolfriends, relatives etc) to keep us satisfied socially, which makes it difficult for someone new to break into, and that includes fellow kiwis. Most probably don't realise that you are struggling. Have you asked a fellow worker, or a neighbour to your house for dinner? If so, what do they say? When you went camping, did you ask people in the next tent over for a barbecue or something? Stick the barbie on, throw some sausages on it, have a few loaves of bread and butter handy. You can't go wrong with that! If it was me you were asking, I would have said yes. If they say no, ask the person in the tent across the way. Have you thought about joining a club of some sort? A lions club, for example, is a great place to meet and get to know other people. They're the things that come to mind when I hear people saying that kiwis are so hard to befriend anyway. You've got to be proactive. They can't help get to know you if you join some sort of social club. Kiwi's are basically from the same gene pool as the Brits, so there can't be that much of a difference in terms of friendliness etc .... perhaps I'm wrong ... but that's what I reckon anyway. In fact, I reckon that the citizens of any country in the world are basically as friendly as any other (perhaps except for the Taliban. lol)
I beg to differ.
In my experience and that includes living in 8 different countries, travelling a lot and having always been an expat, I found the Kiwis in NZ to be parochial, unfriendly, indifferent and unhelpful. That is my view from my personal experience. The friendliest people I have come across are the South Africans. The Kiwis in New Zealand just seemed a miserable bunch as a nation, deeply competitive and can turn nasty if you dare say that you are finding it tough in NZ. However the Kiwis that I have met outside of NZ are a different kettle of fish. Friendly, happy and forward thinking. Maybe it is the harsh reality of living in NZ that does it, I dont know, but nicer abroad than at home, they seem to travel well.
Sorry to burst your bubble but that is my experience.

Last edited by tweetweet; Nov 18th 2012 at 7:55 pm.
tweetweet is offline  
Old Nov 18th 2012, 8:06 pm
  #52  
 
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,787
love30stm is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?

Originally Posted by tweetweet View Post
I beg to differ.
In my experience and that includes living in 8 different countries, travelling a lot and having always been an expat, I found the Kiwis in NZ to be parochial, unfriendly, indifferent and unhelpful. That is my view from my personal experience. The friendliest people I have come across are the South Africans. The Kiwis in New Zealand just seemed a miserable bunch as a nation, deeply competitive and can turn nasty if you dare say that you are finding it tough in NZ. However the Kiwis that I have met outside of NZ are a different kettle of fish. Friendly, happy and forward thinking. Maybe it is the harsh reality of living in NZ that does it, I dont know, but nicer abroad than at home, they seem to travel well.
Sorry to burst your bubble but that is my experience.
Funny that! I found the South Africans I've encounted to be standoffish and keep to themselves! You sound like a miserable up ones self person, bragging on about having lived in 8 different countries! Have you not found a country you like yet?

Not bursting my bubble mate, I just get on with it and make the most of life, whinging is bad for your health blimey oh Riley!!!!!
love30stm is offline  
Old Nov 18th 2012, 8:15 pm
  #53  
 
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 472
waikatoguy is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?

Originally Posted by tweetweet View Post
Sorry to burst your bubble but that is my experience.
I don't believe you're the least bit sorry to burst my bubble. lol.
waikatoguy is offline  
Old Nov 18th 2012, 8:31 pm
  #54  
---
 
bourbon-biscuit's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 2,994
bourbon-biscuit has a reputation beyond reputebourbon-biscuit has a reputation beyond reputebourbon-biscuit has a reputation beyond reputebourbon-biscuit has a reputation beyond reputebourbon-biscuit has a reputation beyond reputebourbon-biscuit has a reputation beyond reputebourbon-biscuit has a reputation beyond reputebourbon-biscuit has a reputation beyond reputebourbon-biscuit has a reputation beyond reputebourbon-biscuit has a reputation beyond reputebourbon-biscuit has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?

Originally Posted by tweetweet View Post
I found the Kiwis in NZ to be parochial, unfriendly, indifferent and unhelpful. <snip>
The Kiwis in New Zealand just seemed a miserable bunch as a nation, deeply competitive and can turn nasty if you dare say that you are finding it tough in NZ.
Nice.

Not my experience AT ALL. So was it them or you?
bourbon-biscuit is offline  
Old Nov 18th 2012, 9:04 pm
  #55  
*********
 
Catchafire's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2008
Location: Up in dem hills.........
Posts: 1,458
Catchafire has a reputation beyond reputeCatchafire has a reputation beyond reputeCatchafire has a reputation beyond reputeCatchafire has a reputation beyond reputeCatchafire has a reputation beyond reputeCatchafire has a reputation beyond reputeCatchafire has a reputation beyond reputeCatchafire has a reputation beyond reputeCatchafire has a reputation beyond reputeCatchafire has a reputation beyond reputeCatchafire has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?

And on and on and on it goes.........


Originally Posted by Assanah View Post
I am negative because i don't like NZ. Why does this bother you so much? And who says I am doing nothing? I have visited many parts of nz, probably more then you. I am at the beach regularly, a go to arts exhibitions, meet friends for breakfast or drinks or movies. I play tennis and joined a gym etc. pp and still think that nz is an uninspiring place to live. I simply don't see much positive about life here. Why can I not post it?
Assanah, reading this, you have a lot of things going on in your life, you seem to want for nothing, you have a decent standard of living, more perhaps than other posters here. So my only conclusion of your continual negative postings, is that you are bored. Which says more about you, rather than the place you live in.

Anyway I am fed up of this constant game of ping pong!

Catchafire out.
Catchafire is offline  
Old Nov 18th 2012, 9:28 pm
  #56  
BE Forum Addict
 
Assanah's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2010
Location: In the middle of the continent
Posts: 2,240
Assanah has a reputation beyond reputeAssanah has a reputation beyond reputeAssanah has a reputation beyond reputeAssanah has a reputation beyond reputeAssanah has a reputation beyond reputeAssanah has a reputation beyond reputeAssanah has a reputation beyond reputeAssanah has a reputation beyond reputeAssanah has a reputation beyond reputeAssanah has a reputation beyond reputeAssanah has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?

Originally Posted by Catchafire View Post
And on and on and on it goes.........




Assanah, reading this, you have a lot of things going on in your life, you seem to want for nothing, you have a decent standard of living, more perhaps than other posters here. So my only conclusion of your continual negative postings, is that you are bored. Which says more about you, rather than the place you live in.

Anyway I am fed up of this constant game of ping pong!

Catchafire out.
I wasn't aware we are playing ping pong. There is no need for you to reply to my post or even read them. I never asked you to.
I have written that I think NZ is a boring and uninspiring place to live in for me so please explain why your conclusion that I am bored is such a relief to you. Can you thereby justify your aggressiveness towards me? Does it make you feel better if you think me to be a bored human who has a decent standard of living instead of say an unhappy person who is struggling?
Assanah is offline  
Old Nov 18th 2012, 11:06 pm
  #57  
Just Joined
 
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 9
maddalenna is a name known to allmaddalenna is a name known to allmaddalenna is a name known to allmaddalenna is a name known to allmaddalenna is a name known to allmaddalenna is a name known to allmaddalenna is a name known to allmaddalenna is a name known to allmaddalenna is a name known to allmaddalenna is a name known to allmaddalenna is a name known to all
Default Re: NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?

Originally Posted by robey1978 View Post
Hi,
New Zealand is a beautiful country and I can see why people move here. It is a giant playground and because of the better weather people spend more time outdoors than they would back in Scotland. The thing is though, all the things we do here, we could do back home. Tramping, mountain biking etc. We feel that having more sunshine just isn't enough to want us to stay here. Scotland is also a beautiful country with lots of beautiful places to visit. It does rain more often but you just learn to deal with the rain.
David
We were back in Scotland for month earlier this year and we are returning for good after 3 years. I had forgotten how wonderfully dramatic Scotland is even with rain. It is home for us. Caladonia has called and we responded.
The connection to family and friends as well as employment prospects were the greatest pull. We want our children to be part of their family and living in New Zealand without a good income will never allow for this.
maddalenna is offline  
Old Nov 19th 2012, 2:48 am
  #58  
Just Joined
 
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 18
dgdevil has a brilliant futuredgdevil has a brilliant futuredgdevil has a brilliant futuredgdevil has a brilliant futuredgdevil has a brilliant futuredgdevil has a brilliant future
Default Re: NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?

Kiwis (I am an expat New Zealander) like to consider ourselves to be friendly, outgoing, relaxed people. But something tends to get lost in translation, and certain gestures or jokes might get taken the wrong way by immigrants in NZ. I admit kiwis have a default chip on their shoulder about the people they refer to in a love/hate way as "Poms," but that usually disappears after they meet Brits on an individual basis. If you're Asian, you're out of luck.

Additionally wherever you live, making friends gets more difficult as you get older. People move away, you become more domesticated. If you are in a new town or new country, you make friends through your kids' friends. Socializing with workmates has its limitations. If you didn't go to school in your new town/country you immediately have a smaller pool of friends to draw from. I know all this from relocating to LA. Americans are friendly on the face of it, but they have their own families and lifelong friends. My wife finds it tough. I don't mind.

Anyway, how many friends do you need? Do you want to hang with people every spare minute? We're not at primary school anymore. To back up what an NZer said above, volunteering is perhaps the most efficient way of getting out and about, and enriching your life. Paradoxically smaller towns might be easier for this than the cities.

It pains me to see Brits unhappy in NZ. I do love you all, and empathize with your bravery in leaving the Mother Country. But as an exile, I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't sympathize with your plight.

Last edited by dgdevil; Nov 19th 2012 at 2:52 am. Reason: add final paragraph
dgdevil is offline  
Old Nov 19th 2012, 7:48 am
  #59  
BE Forum Addict
 
TommyLuck's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 1,213
TommyLuck has a reputation beyond reputeTommyLuck has a reputation beyond reputeTommyLuck has a reputation beyond reputeTommyLuck has a reputation beyond reputeTommyLuck has a reputation beyond reputeTommyLuck has a reputation beyond reputeTommyLuck has a reputation beyond reputeTommyLuck has a reputation beyond reputeTommyLuck has a reputation beyond reputeTommyLuck has a reputation beyond reputeTommyLuck has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?

It's nice to see the odd post on here with logic and reason

Some excellent points.
TommyLuck is offline  
Old Nov 19th 2012, 10:06 am
  #60  
Banned
 
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 31
mikesurf is a name known to allmikesurf is a name known to allmikesurf is a name known to allmikesurf is a name known to allmikesurf is a name known to allmikesurf is a name known to allmikesurf is a name known to allmikesurf is a name known to allmikesurf is a name known to allmikesurf is a name known to allmikesurf is a name known to all
Default Re: NZ vs UK - not all it's cracked up to be. Is it just me?

Originally Posted by tweetweet View Post
I beg to differ.
In my experience and that includes living in 8 different countries, travelling a lot and having always been an expat, I found the Kiwis in NZ to be parochial, unfriendly, indifferent and unhelpful. That is my view from my personal experience. The friendliest people I have come across are the South Africans. The Kiwis in New Zealand just seemed a miserable bunch as a nation, deeply competitive and can turn nasty if you dare say that you are finding it tough in NZ. However the Kiwis that I have met outside of NZ are a different kettle of fish. Friendly, happy and forward thinking. Maybe it is the harsh reality of living in NZ that does it, I dont know, but nicer abroad than at home, they seem to travel well.
Sorry to burst your bubble but that is my experience.

spot on the button
mikesurf is offline  

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information -

Copyright © 2023 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.