New Zealand TV advertisements’ WTF??????
#16
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 65
Re: New Zealand TV advertisements’ WTF??????
Yet again we are laughing great Kevin would love to bump into you in the pub
#17
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jun 2005
Location: In a large village called Auckland
Posts: 5,249
Re: New Zealand TV advertisements’ WTF??????
Top post Kevin, seems that you and I see the TV advertising in the same way. The only thing worse is the radio advertising, now that really does wind me up. I hardly ever watch TV and when I do I end up ranting and swearing at the screen
The latest one to make my skin crawl is that creepy bloke from Lighting Plus. I hate all of those do-it-Yourself type of parochial adverts where the boss is on advertising their own company or product, yep including the mouthy bird from Big Save furniture you already mentioned. Just how stupid do they think we are?
You said it in your previous post and unfortunately it does seem to be 'what works' here; corny, low rent or self promoting. Honestly, that whole TV One ad Campaign that's been on all this year about how wonderful NZ is and what a fabulous place this is to live. Ask yourself this, who's it all for?. There's no place like home? Ain't no place I'd rather be.. and that young lad from Boy, what would he know about living in other countries. Marcus Lush reckons it makes his heart sing. Why ever do we need to be bombarded with those messages at every break.
#18
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jun 2005
Location: In a large village called Auckland
Posts: 5,249
Re: New Zealand TV advertisements’ WTF??????
#19
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2010
Location: Porirua, Wellington
Posts: 207
Re: New Zealand TV advertisements’ WTF??????
Ha ha yeah the Lighting Plus guy is creepy!
The advertorials for Biomag, steam mops, gym machines, funeral plans....they are my particular favourites!
And have you noticed that you can get the same advert twice in the same ad break.
And the shops have super, never to be repeated sales once a fortnight
And for those about to arrive...Manchester is linen ie towels, sheets, duvet covers, etc.
They do remind me of adverts at the cinema in the 70s and 80s.
Thank God for boxsets that's all I can say. But then we came here to NOT sit and watch TV all the time like we did in Scotland. Mind you, with 6 months of winter there, you had little choice.
The advertorials for Biomag, steam mops, gym machines, funeral plans....they are my particular favourites!
And have you noticed that you can get the same advert twice in the same ad break.
And the shops have super, never to be repeated sales once a fortnight
And for those about to arrive...Manchester is linen ie towels, sheets, duvet covers, etc.
They do remind me of adverts at the cinema in the 70s and 80s.
Thank God for boxsets that's all I can say. But then we came here to NOT sit and watch TV all the time like we did in Scotland. Mind you, with 6 months of winter there, you had little choice.
#20
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 65
Re: New Zealand TV advertisements’ WTF??????
Hubby said best bit of Kiwi acting he's seen is when the dog wins Lotto priceless
#21
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2009
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 280
Re: New Zealand TV advertisements’ WTF??????
I've not had access to a broadcast TV signal of any kind since late february and I haven't missed it at all.
I'm busy all day with the kids and then work all night until well into the early hours. Occassionally I'd work sat infront of the TV at night typing away on my laptop, "watching" some of the broadcast trash in the background. But invariably it was something I'd already seen in the UK / something made in NZ that could be used as torture in an act of immense cruelty / an advert for an ab-circle-pro / an advert for kitchen utensils used by a couple hosting a fake dinner party / Maori news (I mean only in so much that I don't speak or understand any Maori) or a "TV Channel returns in the morning message".
Seriously, TV is sh*t it NZ. MySky is expensive for the little amount we would watch it.
Even my 6r and 3yr old boys haven't noticed they've not watched broadcast TV since february!!! (Though granted my film collection is immense).
I don't actually own a radio other than the one in the car. But if TV advertising is sh*t, then radio advertising is utter sh*t.
Who the hell can approve all this self-promotion crap on either TV or radio needs examining... Thoroughly... With a long instrument entering through their anus.
Radio is depressing... Throw in the swearing by the "dj's" (a term used very lightly) at any/all times of the day and it's beyond hope.
No plans to repair my TV aerial or acquire a radio in the house any time soon I can assure you!
I'm busy all day with the kids and then work all night until well into the early hours. Occassionally I'd work sat infront of the TV at night typing away on my laptop, "watching" some of the broadcast trash in the background. But invariably it was something I'd already seen in the UK / something made in NZ that could be used as torture in an act of immense cruelty / an advert for an ab-circle-pro / an advert for kitchen utensils used by a couple hosting a fake dinner party / Maori news (I mean only in so much that I don't speak or understand any Maori) or a "TV Channel returns in the morning message".
Seriously, TV is sh*t it NZ. MySky is expensive for the little amount we would watch it.
Even my 6r and 3yr old boys haven't noticed they've not watched broadcast TV since february!!! (Though granted my film collection is immense).
I don't actually own a radio other than the one in the car. But if TV advertising is sh*t, then radio advertising is utter sh*t.
Who the hell can approve all this self-promotion crap on either TV or radio needs examining... Thoroughly... With a long instrument entering through their anus.
Radio is depressing... Throw in the swearing by the "dj's" (a term used very lightly) at any/all times of the day and it's beyond hope.
No plans to repair my TV aerial or acquire a radio in the house any time soon I can assure you!
#22
Re: New Zealand TV advertisements’ WTF??????
Now before I start, I know I kicked up a bit of a sh*t storm with my last post, where I gave my (our) view of New Zealand five years on. This time I’ll try not to generalise too much, as it obviously offended at least two people on the forum. I will just say that should anyone reading this not realise that I am writing it with a wry smile on my face, then they should move on… nothing to see here, move along! Also, for any Kiwi’s reading this, don’t worry, I have typed it slowly because I know you arn't fast readers.
TV ads….. where do I even start? Well everyone’s gripe here I guess has to be the fact that they are so blinkin’ frequent! A one and a half hour film can take three hours to watch. Invariably we will start to watch a film, only to find that the bloomin’ adverts get more and more frequent (crafty huh?) as the film gets going. Apart from that, what numpty did they put in charge of “cutting in” the ads? They don’t wait for a natural break do they!... oh no, anywhere will do. How often are you on the edge of your seat watching the good guy chasing down the bad guy, the heroine tied to the track, the train almost upon her, and then what…. a fekin’ advert pops up for fekin’ pineapple fekin’ lumps!
I know I’ve commented before about the number of burger… sorry, “Pattie” ads on NZTV, but the frequency and actual “airtime” they get defies belief. We all know that there is a fat related health problem here, well pretty much world wide really. Just look at all the documentaries that keep airing, everything from worlds fattest man to group weight loss reality programs. I digress. But, back to the burger ads, well one night I counted nearly thirty fast food ads during the showing of one film. Now think on this, the film lasted nearly three hours, which if you think about it is over about a third of the time most folks spend at work each day. Now, to say that the actual film should have taken about a hour and a half, that means that I was sat on my arse for about an extra hour and a half whilst being bomarded by adverts for super-sized Big fekin’ Macs, shakes and fekin' fries, when I could have had more time to do something more rewarding like getting a frontal lobotomy perhaps.
By the end of the film, that is if you haven’t fallen asleep, which normally happens about two thirds in for me, that is unless the guy from “HARVEY NORMAN” or “BAM AND ITS GONE” come along, when I have been known to nearly poo myself as I’m ripped from the arms of a young Sophia Loren and blasted back to the reality of present day… anyway, by the end of the film the ads start taking on a strange twist. Gone are the cholesterol infused artery chokin’ gut swelling fast food ads, to be replaced by……… wait for it…….. adverts for fekin' exercise machines and weight loss programs, DVDs, Dance classes!!!!!!!!! I’ll let you into a secret now…. IT’S THE SAME COMPANY WHO HAVE BEEN SELLING YOU THE FEKIN’ BURGERS AND FRIES! And where the hell did they get those pair of numpty’s who advertise those things? Off they go swaying from side to side, all the time sporting a brilliant white (as only Americans can) set of gnashers, and a psychotic grin that Hannibal Lector would have been proud of.
Then there are the yucky ads, you know, the ones they always put on around meals times. Tampons, Incontinence pants, Erectile problems, Head lice… god take me, take me now while I am young, don't let me suffer...
I mean come on, the ad showing a Beaver (the real kind… you know, the animal!) then using it as an in your face innuendo for ladies products, and saying “looking after yourself down there”…… WOW, well it doesn’t get more “in your face” than that does it?. Well actually yes I believe it does. The advert of the two guys playing a duet on the piano, camera from the front, as they drop their pants and stand up, thankfully with their nether regions still out of camera shot (it will come though believe me!), and on they play, apparently “hands free”. Now, if I were still ten, at school, in the playground, I might have had a real laugh about that. However, to put this as a TV (anytime) ad, well it’s not big and its not clever is it! Or maybe it is… it can apparently play the piano after all.
This next one I would put in the same basket as the fast food and exercise category. Gambling.
One night we saw an advert for Christchurch Casino, where it showed a good looking couple, clinking glasses, lots of positive noises in the background (everyone was winning that night) and telling you to visit the casino, everyone welcome, great night out blah blah….. later that night was another advert showing a sad faced and quite “pathetic” looking woman who had lost her house and family due to gambling debts (she must have gone on the "everyone is losing" night)… and went on to talk about problem gambling and what it can do to peoples lives.
Then there are the placards or “placecards”…. WTF is it with all these blumin’ placards on adverts. People standing there holding written placards in front of them, and dropping each card respectively. How CHEAP can you make adverts! Is it because the actors charge more if they have to speak? Is it to catch the hard of hearing viewers?... go figure.
Furniture and Bids (beds)… you must have seen the one featuring the psyched out blonde bint who talks about her dads “Bid” shop. Well, actually they do furniture as well now. Man is she LOUD or what? That’s not the worst though, the guy from the Harvey Norman ad, where the heck did they find him? I didn’t know our telly went that loud! Its not just that though, it’s the velocity at which he speaks. I have watched the ads, but if it wasn’t for the pictures, I wouldn’t know what they were selling! Are there special schools where they send people to learn to talk like that? He’s into his third sentence before my poor brain has comprehended the first three words he’s said. I was even joking with the wife the other night, and I said I wonder if he’s married, and if talks like that at home. He might even do everything loud and fast (c’mon keep up).
HI HONNEYWHATSFORDINER.. THATWASGREATFANCYANEARLYNIGHT… (zip, flop, shuffle shuffle) BANGBANGWOWTHATWASGREATHONEYNIGHTNIGHT….ZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZ
TV ads….. where do I even start? Well everyone’s gripe here I guess has to be the fact that they are so blinkin’ frequent! A one and a half hour film can take three hours to watch. Invariably we will start to watch a film, only to find that the bloomin’ adverts get more and more frequent (crafty huh?) as the film gets going. Apart from that, what numpty did they put in charge of “cutting in” the ads? They don’t wait for a natural break do they!... oh no, anywhere will do. How often are you on the edge of your seat watching the good guy chasing down the bad guy, the heroine tied to the track, the train almost upon her, and then what…. a fekin’ advert pops up for fekin’ pineapple fekin’ lumps!
I know I’ve commented before about the number of burger… sorry, “Pattie” ads on NZTV, but the frequency and actual “airtime” they get defies belief. We all know that there is a fat related health problem here, well pretty much world wide really. Just look at all the documentaries that keep airing, everything from worlds fattest man to group weight loss reality programs. I digress. But, back to the burger ads, well one night I counted nearly thirty fast food ads during the showing of one film. Now think on this, the film lasted nearly three hours, which if you think about it is over about a third of the time most folks spend at work each day. Now, to say that the actual film should have taken about a hour and a half, that means that I was sat on my arse for about an extra hour and a half whilst being bomarded by adverts for super-sized Big fekin’ Macs, shakes and fekin' fries, when I could have had more time to do something more rewarding like getting a frontal lobotomy perhaps.
By the end of the film, that is if you haven’t fallen asleep, which normally happens about two thirds in for me, that is unless the guy from “HARVEY NORMAN” or “BAM AND ITS GONE” come along, when I have been known to nearly poo myself as I’m ripped from the arms of a young Sophia Loren and blasted back to the reality of present day… anyway, by the end of the film the ads start taking on a strange twist. Gone are the cholesterol infused artery chokin’ gut swelling fast food ads, to be replaced by……… wait for it…….. adverts for fekin' exercise machines and weight loss programs, DVDs, Dance classes!!!!!!!!! I’ll let you into a secret now…. IT’S THE SAME COMPANY WHO HAVE BEEN SELLING YOU THE FEKIN’ BURGERS AND FRIES! And where the hell did they get those pair of numpty’s who advertise those things? Off they go swaying from side to side, all the time sporting a brilliant white (as only Americans can) set of gnashers, and a psychotic grin that Hannibal Lector would have been proud of.
Then there are the yucky ads, you know, the ones they always put on around meals times. Tampons, Incontinence pants, Erectile problems, Head lice… god take me, take me now while I am young, don't let me suffer...
I mean come on, the ad showing a Beaver (the real kind… you know, the animal!) then using it as an in your face innuendo for ladies products, and saying “looking after yourself down there”…… WOW, well it doesn’t get more “in your face” than that does it?. Well actually yes I believe it does. The advert of the two guys playing a duet on the piano, camera from the front, as they drop their pants and stand up, thankfully with their nether regions still out of camera shot (it will come though believe me!), and on they play, apparently “hands free”. Now, if I were still ten, at school, in the playground, I might have had a real laugh about that. However, to put this as a TV (anytime) ad, well it’s not big and its not clever is it! Or maybe it is… it can apparently play the piano after all.
This next one I would put in the same basket as the fast food and exercise category. Gambling.
One night we saw an advert for Christchurch Casino, where it showed a good looking couple, clinking glasses, lots of positive noises in the background (everyone was winning that night) and telling you to visit the casino, everyone welcome, great night out blah blah….. later that night was another advert showing a sad faced and quite “pathetic” looking woman who had lost her house and family due to gambling debts (she must have gone on the "everyone is losing" night)… and went on to talk about problem gambling and what it can do to peoples lives.
Then there are the placards or “placecards”…. WTF is it with all these blumin’ placards on adverts. People standing there holding written placards in front of them, and dropping each card respectively. How CHEAP can you make adverts! Is it because the actors charge more if they have to speak? Is it to catch the hard of hearing viewers?... go figure.
Furniture and Bids (beds)… you must have seen the one featuring the psyched out blonde bint who talks about her dads “Bid” shop. Well, actually they do furniture as well now. Man is she LOUD or what? That’s not the worst though, the guy from the Harvey Norman ad, where the heck did they find him? I didn’t know our telly went that loud! Its not just that though, it’s the velocity at which he speaks. I have watched the ads, but if it wasn’t for the pictures, I wouldn’t know what they were selling! Are there special schools where they send people to learn to talk like that? He’s into his third sentence before my poor brain has comprehended the first three words he’s said. I was even joking with the wife the other night, and I said I wonder if he’s married, and if talks like that at home. He might even do everything loud and fast (c’mon keep up).
HI HONNEYWHATSFORDINER.. THATWASGREATFANCYANEARLYNIGHT… (zip, flop, shuffle shuffle) BANGBANGWOWTHATWASGREATHONEYNIGHTNIGHT….ZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZ
#24
Re: New Zealand TV advertisements’ WTF??????
Have to agree with that they are very cheap and cheezy, poor quality and theres too many.. Tv on the whole without Sky is just pants.. But hey, lifes not all about tv is it..
#26
Re: New Zealand TV advertisements’ WTF??????
Hey do yourself and your family a favour, either poke each others eyes out with a sharp stick, or get ya’selves and ya TV down to cash converters and get rid of it! Careful when you walk through the door though, theres usually a pile of Ab Circle Pro machines cluttering up the floor….. Anyway, from Barnsley, you should be used to not having a TV!
#28
Re: New Zealand TV advertisements’ WTF??????
Do they still have the ad for human worming tablets on prime time? That was funny!
"If you have a dodgy tum, or an itchy bum, then you might have worms!"
We download everything we watch - though the new law in September might put a stop to that.
Might have to start buying second-hand DVD box sets on Trademe instead.
Haven't watched anything on broadcast TV since Outrageous Fortune ended and that was the only thing we watched. I just can't stand the ads, plus we like to be able to pause the telly or movie to wrestle mice out of the cat's jaws, shout at the dog, change the baby, make dinner etc. etc.
"If you have a dodgy tum, or an itchy bum, then you might have worms!"
We download everything we watch - though the new law in September might put a stop to that.
Might have to start buying second-hand DVD box sets on Trademe instead.
Haven't watched anything on broadcast TV since Outrageous Fortune ended and that was the only thing we watched. I just can't stand the ads, plus we like to be able to pause the telly or movie to wrestle mice out of the cat's jaws, shout at the dog, change the baby, make dinner etc. etc.
#29
Re: New Zealand TV advertisements’ WTF??????
Do they still have the ad for human worming tablets on prime time? That was funny!
"If you have a dodgy tum, or an itchy bum, then you might have worms!"
We download everything we watch - though the new law in September might put a stop to that.
Might have to start buying second-hand DVD box sets on Trademe instead.
Haven't watched anything on broadcast TV since Outrageous Fortune ended and that was the only thing we watched. I just can't stand the ads, plus we like to be able to pause the telly or movie to wrestle mice out of the cat's jaws, shout at the dog, change the baby, make dinner etc. etc.
"If you have a dodgy tum, or an itchy bum, then you might have worms!"
We download everything we watch - though the new law in September might put a stop to that.
Might have to start buying second-hand DVD box sets on Trademe instead.
Haven't watched anything on broadcast TV since Outrageous Fortune ended and that was the only thing we watched. I just can't stand the ads, plus we like to be able to pause the telly or movie to wrestle mice out of the cat's jaws, shout at the dog, change the baby, make dinner etc. etc.
Wow… haven’t seen that one… ugh! So whats the law change then? Not the web police is it? Anyway, sounds like you don’t need a telly with all that going on…. Mice wrestling, shouting at babies, dog changing and cooking and wot not.
#30
Re: New Zealand TV advertisements’ WTF??????
The new law was rushed through as an emergency law and is basically NZ government bowing down to US media companies.
If you are accused by the movie company lawyers of downloading copyright material then you have to prove yourself innocent or be fined up to $15k. If this happens three times you can be banned from having an internet connection for 6 months.
Not sure how it will work in practice but there won't be so much use of torrents in NZ soon.