In my next life, I ..........
Aug 5th 2010, 1:48 pm
#1
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Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2007
Location: Nelson Bays/Abel Tasman NZ- my Utopia
Posts: 632
In my next life, I ..........
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced
enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is
produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body
to squirt
blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to
death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to
its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the. ..?!)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping
the length of a football field.
(30 minutes... Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to
know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm......)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than
left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
( I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)
enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is
produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body
to squirt
blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to
death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to
its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the. ..?!)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping
the length of a football field.
(30 minutes... Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to
know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm......)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than
left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
( I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)
Aug 5th 2010, 2:13 pm
#2
Not around much..
Joined: Apr 2010
Location: San Diego CA
Posts: 1,873
Re: In my next life, I ..........
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced
enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is
produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body
to squirt
blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to
death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to
its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the. ..?!)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping
the length of a football field.
(30 minutes... Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to
know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm......)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than
left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
( I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)
enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is
produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body
to squirt
blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to
death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to
its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the. ..?!)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping
the length of a football field.
(30 minutes... Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to
know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm......)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than
left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
( I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)
In my next life.....I want to have as much time on my hands as you apparently do.....
Oh...and i think I will be a lion!!! King of the jungle and shagging all day!
Aug 5th 2010, 2:32 pm
#3
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2007
Location: Nelson Bays/Abel Tasman NZ- my Utopia
Posts: 632
Re: In my next life, I ..........
Quantity over quality!
As for wanting more time on your hand.
I'm sure with a little practice you could aim for a whole minute then you'd beat the lion hands down! and loads of time to spare reading the threads on this forum.
Aug 5th 2010, 2:39 pm
#4
221b Baker Street
Joined: Jun 2010
Location: Miles from anywhere, Victoria, Australia.
Posts: 14,125
Re: In my next life, I ..........
In my next life...I don't want to be a sheep in New Zealand (or Wales).
Aug 5th 2010, 2:47 pm
#5
Not around much..
Joined: Apr 2010
Location: San Diego CA
Posts: 1,873
Re: In my next life, I ..........
Your bad!!! My Lion is going to eat your pig!!!
Aug 5th 2010, 10:15 pm
#6
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2007
Location: Nelson Bays/Abel Tasman NZ- my Utopia
Posts: 632
Aug 5th 2010, 10:38 pm
#7
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2007
Location: Nelson Bays/Abel Tasman NZ- my Utopia
Posts: 632
Re: In my next life, I ..........
In your dreams!
In a head-to-head fight there is no other animal that one would back to kill a lion. However, real life is not that simple.
Firstly, it's the lioness that kills most of the pride's food. (The female always does the important, life sustaining stuff in most of the animal species)
Secondly, in battles with other species, lions are by no means undefeated. There are many examples of a dead lion surrounded by dead hyenas, or wolves. The evidence indicating, that they were no match for a pack of determined, dogged opponents.
I can assure you that my little pig will be so determined and so dogged in its battle for life, your lion (totally knakkered by its 50 times a day routine,) won't stand a chance.
Apart from which my little pig is awesome, cosmic (or is that orgasmic?)
In a head-to-head fight there is no other animal that one would back to kill a lion. However, real life is not that simple.
Firstly, it's the lioness that kills most of the pride's food. (The female always does the important, life sustaining stuff in most of the animal species)
Secondly, in battles with other species, lions are by no means undefeated. There are many examples of a dead lion surrounded by dead hyenas, or wolves. The evidence indicating, that they were no match for a pack of determined, dogged opponents.
I can assure you that my little pig will be so determined and so dogged in its battle for life, your lion (totally knakkered by its 50 times a day routine,) won't stand a chance.
Apart from which my little pig is awesome, cosmic (or is that orgasmic?)
Aug 5th 2010, 11:56 pm
#8
Not around much..
Joined: Apr 2010
Location: San Diego CA
Posts: 1,873
Re: In my next life, I ..........
So I presume this is you in your next life?
Aug 6th 2010, 5:12 am
#9
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Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2007
Location: Nelson Bays/Abel Tasman NZ- my Utopia
Posts: 632
