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-   -   Mum, 2 kids and possible move to Palmerston North...am I crazy?? (https://britishexpats.com/forum/new-zealand-83/mum-2-kids-possible-move-palmerston-north-am-i-crazy-603578/)

callistajm Apr 15th 2009 12:13 am

Mum, 2 kids and possible move to Palmerston North...am I crazy??
 
Hi all,

I am engaged to a Kiwi from Palmerston North, Were currently looking at where were going to live bearing in mind that we managed to live the opposite sides of the world!

It makes logical sence for me and my 2 kids to move to NZ. His business is there and well established, we have a home ready, and a better standard of living and lifestyle offered by NZ.

My problem is that my daughters 12 and going through the teenage thing lol But shes bright but really shy and I dont want to 'damage' her. The other real worry for me is my son. He's autistic and 8 years old. NZ seems to have a completly different system to the UK. One the UK seems to be leaning towards, but one I'm not very knowledgeable about.

He is willing to move to the UK but I know he will hate it and if I'm honest I agree our life would be better in NZ.

Any....and I do mean ANY advice or tips would be greatly appreciated :)

I find thats the poeple in NZ are far to laid back about things and I'm finding it difficult to deal with that as I'm a planner and worrier lol

Thanks in advance guys xx

Rosalyn

Persephone Apr 16th 2009 12:03 pm

Re: Mum, 2 kids and possible move to Palmerston North...am I crazy??
 
Hi Rosalyn,

I was in a similar situation, my partner came from PN and we had to decide where to live. Since it was easier for me to move here in terms of work, I had no house to sell and no real ties then that was the decision made for us really. He also had a house here so accommodation was sorted. No kids to worry about either. If you're worried about how well the kids will settle in then it may be worth starting a thread in the main forum asking about people's experiences of moving here with children. From what I can tell on here they usually settle in pretty well though best to hear that from the horses mouth so to speak! Maybe ask about what services are available for autism as well?

I must admit I'm quite happy living here in Palmerston North. I have only been here for 4-5months but feel very settled.
I don't think you're crazy, after all if you don't think he would be happy in the UK and you are certain you want to move here then go for it. I came here with the realisation that I don't want to look back in a few years time and regret not taking a chance. I hadn't even considered emigrating when I met Mr Sue and it dawned on me that I had nothing to lose - well apart from a few grand getting my visa, flights, removals and so on:rofl: Sometimes you have to take a risk in life in the hope for a better one.
Wishing you all the best. Replied to your thread in meetups as well:)

Sue:D

callistajm Apr 19th 2009 7:36 pm

Re: Mum, 2 kids and possible move to Palmerston North...am I crazy??
 
Thanks Sue :) Its actually quite scary...I think everyone plays around with the idea of moving abroad, but when it actually is a reality I've found it quite overwhelming lol So hat are the people like there....compared to living in a normal city here....I live in Coventry at the moment.

Rosalyn x

EmandKen Apr 20th 2009 9:03 am

Re: Mum, 2 kids and possible move to Palmerston North...am I crazy??
 
Hi Rosalyn
I'm an ex Cov girl (left when I was 18 and moved to lots of different places) and now live wth hubby and our 2 cats in Christchurch. We don't have any kids so I can't advise on that one, but I want to encourage you to come over here to NZ. It's the best thing hubby and I have ever done. We've been here for 6 months now and LOVE it.

People are so friendly, our neighbours have made us feel so welcome and are old fashioned neighbours, if you know what I mean, bringing us things round lending us things, always popping over for chat on impulse. People wander around with bare feet and not just kids. I'm talking in supermarkets and malls - I love that but haven't braved it yet!

The lifestyle is so much more laid back than the UK, it's true what everyone says. I was a worrier too and liked everything planned but just this week I've realised I've started to be more Kiwi and am definitely going with the flow more :D

Obviously you've got a lot of thinking to do but for what it's worth, I'd say go for it!
Emma :)

callistajm Apr 20th 2009 1:50 pm

Re: Mum, 2 kids and possible move to Palmerston North...am I crazy??
 
Thanks Em, everyone so far has said its great...just hope my kids agree :) I see your teacher :thumbsup: I have a 12 year old girl and 8 yr old Autistic boy. Will the system be good to them? especially the Autistic boy??

Rosalyn x

EmandKen Apr 21st 2009 4:18 am

Re: Mum, 2 kids and possible move to Palmerston North...am I crazy??
 
Hi again Rosalyn
I was a secondary teacher in the UK but now teach ESOL here in a private language school so I'm sorry I can't helo you with your question, I'm afraid. Maybe post a separate question on the main forum and teachers in NZ may pop in and answer?
Emma

Persephone Apr 21st 2009 10:04 am

Re: Mum, 2 kids and possible move to Palmerston North...am I crazy??
 

Thanks Sue Its actually quite scary...I think everyone plays around with the idea of moving abroad, but when it actually is a reality I've found it quite overwhelming lol So hat are the people like there....compared to living in a normal city here....I live in Coventry at the moment.
Hi,
Yes it is scary and there will be times during the whole process when you wonder what the hell you're doing and why:rofl: I had a real wobble just after I booked the oneway flight here. It suddenly felt like I'd never really thought about it at all, what was I doing moving to the other side of the world, leaving everyone back home and coming here, why had I never thought about it properly before:lol:. It soon passed but the whole process is a rollercoaster. It is normal to feel overwhelmed and scared:sneaky:

As Emma says people are very friendly here, they are more relaxed and will often chat to you a lot more than people back in the UK. My neighbours aren't as friendly as Emmas, they tend to keep themselves to themselves down my street. No different to back in the UK and will chat if you make the effort. I was surprised at the number of people in bare feet out shopping as well. Not sure I'll be doing that myself, only time I've gone out in bare feet is walking home after a night out in unsuitable shoes...:rofl:

Anyway get yourself over here and find out for yourself, you won't know until you get here. I'm very happy and have no regrets about the move at all:thumbsup:
Sue:D

callistajm Apr 21st 2009 8:51 pm

Re: Mum, 2 kids and possible move to Palmerston North...am I crazy??
 

Originally Posted by Sue R (Post 7499161)
Anyway get yourself over here and find out for yourself, you won't know until you get here. I'm very happy and have no regrets about the move at all:thumbsup:
Sue:D

I get to PN last week in july.....but I have started to think....I am a bit thick to the whole immigration process...but thinking about it I would like to get the kids into school for Jan 2010....but not sure if thats even possible. Where would be a good place to post for advice? Basically we are engaged but didnt plan to marry until we've saved some more. I'd not be working but my partner earns enough to support me and the kids. They would both need to be in a school. One would be private and the other im not sure about because he is autistic so need to find out whats available. Should we get married earlier...should i be applying to move there now? aagghhh I am so dumb to this stuff and I dont want to mess it up lol

Rosalyn x

CCGM.IN.NZ Apr 21st 2009 9:05 pm

Re: Mum, 2 kids and possible move to Palmerston North...am I crazy??
 
Hi Rosalyn, we moved here over two years ago with a 12 year old son and a 15 year old daughter. They have both settled quickly, have loads of lovely friends and really love it here. I was worried about my daughter as she was the quieter one of my kids. She was upset to leave her friends in the UK but loves it here. She keeps in touch with the UK occasionally with MSN and facebook. My kids have so much more fredom here than I would ever give them in the UK. If you are coming here in July I cant see you having a problem starting your kids in school straight away. My two started a week after we arrived. Anyway, like people have said, post you questions in the main forum, they will get viewed a lot more there and there are lots of really helpful people on here happy to share their experiences with you :thumbup:

callistajm Apr 21st 2009 9:16 pm

Re: Mum, 2 kids and possible move to Palmerston North...am I crazy??
 
If you are coming here in July I cant see you having a problem starting your kids in school straight away.

The trip in July is just a visit, to make sure the kids like it...not sure about the next step as it where to staying

Rosalyn x

newkiwi Apr 22nd 2009 2:48 am

Re: Mum, 2 kids and possible move to Palmerston North...am I crazy??
 

Originally Posted by callistajm (Post 7480702)
Hi all,

I am engaged to a Kiwi from Palmerston North, Were currently looking at where were going to live bearing in mind that we managed to live the opposite sides of the world!

It makes logical sence for me and my 2 kids to move to NZ. His business is there and well established, we have a home ready, and a better standard of living and lifestyle offered by NZ.

My problem is that my daughters 12 and going through the teenage thing lol But shes bright but really shy and I dont want to 'damage' her. The other real worry for me is my son. He's autistic and 8 years old. NZ seems to have a completly different system to the UK. One the UK seems to be leaning towards, but one I'm not very knowledgeable about.

He is willing to move to the UK but I know he will hate it and if I'm honest I agree our life would be better in NZ.

Any....and I do mean ANY advice or tips would be greatly appreciated :)

I find thats the poeple in NZ are far to laid back about things and I'm finding it difficult to deal with that as I'm a planner and worrier lol

Thanks in advance guys xx

Rosalyn

Cant help with too many specific answers but i guess you should be looking into the partnership immigration policy on the NZIS website. Not sure what the requirements are for you as a fiancee to be able to move to nz, eg what you need to do to prove your relationship to NZIS.

Also worth looking into the medical requirements, not sure what NZIS's policy is towards autism.

NZ is pretty good in terms of settling in, and i think most kids find it easy to settle in here.

Persephone Apr 22nd 2009 9:41 am

Re: Mum, 2 kids and possible move to Palmerston North...am I crazy??
 
Hi Rosalyn
Are you here for a long visit and when are you thinking of moving here permanently? Just being nosey:rofl:
As Newkiwi said I presume you're looking at applying for residence under the partnership policy? As far as I can tell you will have to provide police certs, do medicals and provide relationship evidence as for any other residence application. You have to prove you have lived together in a "genuine and stable relationship for 12 months or more" Being married makes no difference to this so you may as well carry on saving:sneaky:
I couldn't prove the 12m so got here on my own:rofl:
Ask if you have any questions about the immigration process, it can be a bit long winded at times!
Sue :D

callistajm Apr 22nd 2009 5:40 pm

Re: Mum, 2 kids and possible move to Palmerston North...am I crazy??
 

Originally Posted by Sue R (Post 7502689)
Hi Rosalyn
Are you here for a long visit and when are you thinking of moving here permanently? Just being nosey:rofl:
As Newkiwi said I presume you're looking at applying for residence under the partnership policy? As far as I can tell you will have to provide police certs, do medicals and provide relationship evidence as for any other residence application. You have to prove you have lived together in a "genuine and stable relationship for 12 months or more" Being married makes no difference to this so you may as well carry on saving:sneaky:
I couldn't prove the 12m so got here on my own:rofl:
Ask if you have any questions about the immigration process, it can be a bit long winded at times!
Sue :D

Well I think we'll get there LOVE it and want to stay......I know I can stay 6 months on a visiting visa. If your going through the immigration process and you still enrol your kids at school?

Proving the 12 month thing though? we havent lived together :blink: this is us moving in with each other lol. I just ant to stay in the country for now and get the kids enrolled...can i do that on any other visa type while i sort out permanent residency? I dont work and as my fiance will be supporting wont claim anything. I am hoping to enrol at a university there which is my plan once we have settled in....may student visa?

I'm starting to panic now...my fiance cant come here while he waits for us to get there because of work and we cant not be togther for another year especially for my kids we need to be settled you know.

From what people have told me on here I think it could be the best move I've ever made...especially as its the only move outside my city ;)

Any advice is more than gratefully recieved :thumbsup:

Rosalyn x

Persephone Apr 23rd 2009 9:19 am

Re: Mum, 2 kids and possible move to Palmerston North...am I crazy??
 
Hi Rosalyn,
You won't be able to apply for residency until you've been living together for 12m but you may be eligible for a partnership work permit/visa which is temporary but would allow you to live together for the required 12m. It also mentions on the NZIS website that you can extend visitors'permits for up to 12m if certain circumstances apply.
I would keep anything you have that proves how long you've known each other and so on, including envelopes with postmarks on! At some point you'll have to prove how long you've been together:rofl:
You could spend 6m on a visitors visa but you will need to show proof that you have a ticket out of NZ within that 6m. Otherwise they will not let you on the plane to NZ in the first place. It sounds like your visit in July is temporary so that wouldn't be a problem.
Can't help with the student visa I'm afraid, I don't know much about it:unsure: I think you need to be enrolled on a course first. Maybe ask some of these questions in the immigration section or the main forum. More people will see them:thumbup:
Also don't know a lot about schools since I have no kids:lol:

I was in a similar situation to you but luckily was able to apply for PR and got here via that route.
There are options, don't get disheartened:thumbsup:
Sue:D


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