daveandsarah

Hello All

We're at the start of the process, but our eldest (nearly 17) is having many doubts - mainly about making new friends and not knowing anyone or anything, or what to do about college etc etc. And he's really quite upset about it.
But staying here is not really an option for him, and it's because of the lifestyle and potential that we want to come as a family in the first place.
He sails and loves being outside, it would be great for him.
We've been, but left the kids at home - well it was our honeymoon too...

What we'd like is some recent movers with teenagers to let us know how they got on, how the young person themselves felt about it and how they went about sorting it out when they got there.

We're probably going to be in/near North Auckland.

Maybe then he could link up with some like mindeds via Facebook or whatever it is that kids today use.

What ever happened to just picking up the phone ??

Ta

love30stm

My Daughter was nearly 14 when we emigrated had lots of trouble with her, shes 16 now and never settled and hates it here.. but I think it depends on the teenager lots of my friends daughters have settled well. Im beginning to think its just my daughter who is annoying, Im sure He will be fine ive heard lads seem to settle better anyway especialy in Auckland where my daughter says we should have lived.

but then again Im in Wanganui and I dont like it either...lol anyway anything you want to ask message me ok

ps if he likes outside he will love it but if like my daughter she likes fashion shops and concerts and tv he will hate it

AngelaandJim

My son will be 17 this yr he has found it hard too. He was supposed to come with us when we were over but he started an apprentiship so couldn't come. It wouldn't be an option for him to stay here either and we missed each other so much I don't think he would want to stay now. He is feeling better about coming now as where we have picked to live has everything he loves (fishing motorbikes & hunting). For us we all agreed we would live where we all had a bit of something we enjoyed and if you are heading for around Auckland then your son should get on fine there's lots of sailing there. Has he tried to see if there are any online clubs or forums for sailing around that area it may help if he can get to know people a little bit before he goes.
Hope you can get it sorted out

Angela x

Margaret Parkinson

My grandson was 14 when they went and loves it, there is no way he would come back to the UK. It was all very strange to him at first but once he found his feet and met new people everything fell into place. Having said that everyone is different. I never thought in a million years my daughter would settle but she has and has not looked back. I just wish I was younger I would go and live there. We just have to be satisfied with long holidays.

Justcol

We arrived in June 08 when our eldest son was 17.
He had just finished the first year of his A'levels.
He made plenty of friends here and while the kiwi
curriculum meant he couldnt study the subjects he wanted
in his last year of school, he applied himself well and we are
expecting good results.
However, he never saw NZ as a long term prospect and as soon as
he finished school in December 09 he packed up and returned to the uk.
Things being what they are down here we cannot offer him a lot
in the way of support and the distance thing does make it hard for us.

harrogate girl

I hope I can say this I have come into contact with lots of teenagers and yes some dont like it! but to date none have returned back to the UK. Most of my UK friends have put a time on to get use to NZ for the older kids, or even the family.
It can be at first quite hard for us!!! and the different way of how NZ works, so you must understand the older ones please GIVE THEM TIME , most say no way will you get me back on that flight after all its a long way:curse:.
after all you have just moved more then half way round the world. Hope it works out for you all !!!.
I have been back a few time but this is my home it works for us. Just give it time.
We never worked out any cost but it was good for us keep money to go back with, due to family.

kiwinow

This is a really difficult age. Last year we were looking at moving from NZ to Australia - not such a huge distance but horrendously expensive to travel too often. Our 17 yo son refused to go with us, but he was not quite set up to look after himself either. I was worried, but here in NZ kids tend to move away earlier for University etc and they usually get by. At 17 I left home and went back to the UK for a year. I was fine, but I did need family support to get back when I'd had enough. We didn't end up moving and he's still at home (sigh) at nearly 19.

I think this is so scary for young people because they think it's not so easy to make friends as you get older, but actually they can if they are open to it. It's only once you have kids etc that it gets hard
Can he try it for a year and return if he doesn't like it? He'll be old enough and you will have to agree to let him go if he wants, but doing that might make him more willing to give it a go.

If he loves sailing and outdoors stuff, Auckland is a good place to be. He'll make friends if he joins in sports clubs.

Justcol

For us it was difficult to bring #1 son but we asked him to make a sacrifice
for us which he did.
It is easier for us now he has spent time in NZ and he knows where we are
than it would have been for us to leave him behind in the uk when he was just 17.
One thing to remember for your son is, if he wants to go to university (as ours does)
and he wants to go to a uk university he will be classes as a foriegn student
when he returns if he is away for more than a year.
this means the cost of uni study will almost treble.

love30stm

Is mine the Only Teenager (shes 16 btw) who does not like it here and refuses to make friends or anything and complains and just sits at home waiting for us to say we are going bck to the Uk?? Looks like it

Justcol

No your not alone, we went through that as well.
Ours came through it ok, maybe girls are better at sulking
than boys

Tomsk

We came over with 2 teenagers son aged 16 1/2 & daughter just 15 at the time. They had some reservations, but had been actively involved in the decision making process to come over here, and were willing to give it a try. Neither promised to stay indefinitely, but said that they'd give us until the completed their education, then would decide. 18m later & they love it. Son's 18, and has a great life. He's off on a mate's boat on one of our local lakes as I type, he has a huge crowd of friends, and a far, far more interesting social life than I've ever had . Daughter is 16, & again she has an amazing group of friends & is continually out & about, enjoying life .

Son is returning to the UK on holiday this easter to see his old mates before they scatter to university or wherever, and that will be the tester, but so far his intentions appear to be to remain in NZ. Daughter doesn't want to return to the UK...she says she's been to the UK so if we're paying out for holidays can she go to Aus please .

It's not right for everyone, and so much depends on individuals, but NZ has so much to offer young people, especially those who are interested in sports & outdoors stuff.

Good luck with the process though, I know it's a difficult one, teenagers have their own opinions & lives....they're not always receptive to such a huge life change.

We're in Rotorua, not Auckland, but both of my 2 have Facebook accounts so if your son wants some NZ friends I can approach them.

love30stm

Been here over two years now and shes still the same!

Wooly_Cow

We have 4 kids, three of which are teenagers (or near enough). Their experiences have been very different.

The 18 year old – I came to NZ for nearly a year without my wife and family so she could complete here ‘A’ levels in the UK. She got great grades and is now at a UK university. However she has been to Wellington twice, and loved it and can see why we came. She made friends here with uni students but not without really going out on a limb (all credit to her). Of course we miss her when she is in Bristol BUT it was her choice and she knows she always has our love and support. Whether she comes down here after uni…well that is another question.

The 16 year old had started a relationship for a year before he came here so it was extra difficult for him BUT he made some good friends and enjoys school (though considers it at a lower level than the UK). He is on his first trip back to the UK, and due back on Tuesday…so let’s see what he feels about the two countries now he has had a chance to compare.

The 12 year old was a somewhat frail child, though growing in confidence when she left the UK. She is now a VERY confident young lady, who loves the beach, surfing, horse riding and generally being in the outdoors. She works at the local sea life centre. She has already said she doesn’t want to go back to the UK (but will do so if the rest of the family decide that’s what’s best – bless her!).

So as others have said, everyone is different…….!

harrogate girl

It wuld be good to see how your Boy found the UK hope you post more!!, as I have a friend her son has returned back to the UK now looks like she will follow.

howden40

Hi Having a pub we meet loads of immigrants - Uk, Brazil, South Africa, Zimbabwi. With one exception all who came with teenagers have had a settling in period. It's all about getting out and meeting people, yeh the teenagers are reluctant at first. Talking to the kids it's partly because the parents make a big thing about taking them out to meet people of their own age (so parents are picking friends rather than the kids, go figure they won't go out and do it and resent you doing it. It's quite a no win situation) rather than just say come lets get out for the day and then taking them to meet-ups.

The one exception I know of is my son James who was 18, he settled almost immediately accepting life would be totally different. He gave up a lot, good job, fantastic social life - he did and at times still does miss his social life. He went back March 09 for a month, his old friends took him to France Snow-Boarding. He saw for himself how the country had changed and returned quite hapilly to NZ.

We have had a few who's son or daughter have gone back to the UK only to return with great speed as life moves on in the UK and leaves them behind.
Without a doubt the younger the children are the easier it is to settle and make new friends.

I hope all works out well
Pauline