Moving back to the UK with teenagers...
#1
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Joined: Aug 2022
Posts: 2
Moving back to the UK with teenagers...
Hi everyone,
After living in NZ for 12 years, we are planning on moving back to the UK. However, we have a 15 year old and a 10 year old. Has anyone done the move back with children around this age? What year will they be in at school? And will they be behind in their education? I've heard the NZ Curriculum is way behind the UK.
It's a hard decision because the kids live a good life here but we feel so isolated without family and not having made many friends in all those years.
riends.My main concern is will my kids fit in on return to the uk?
After living in NZ for 12 years, we are planning on moving back to the UK. However, we have a 15 year old and a 10 year old. Has anyone done the move back with children around this age? What year will they be in at school? And will they be behind in their education? I've heard the NZ Curriculum is way behind the UK.
It's a hard decision because the kids live a good life here but we feel so isolated without family and not having made many friends in all those years.
riends.My main concern is will my kids fit in on return to the uk?
#2
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Joined: Jan 2021
Posts: 14
Re: Moving back to the UK with teenagers...
Depending on when your childrens birthdays are will depend which school year they go into. School years run from September to August. High school goes from years 7 to 11 (ones with sixth form also have 12 to 13) mostly, but in areas where they have middle school, I think it’s years 9 to 11. At the end of year 9 they make their choices for GCSE subjects and sit GCSES in year 11.
You will need to check schools zoning (catchment) areas as it will be easier to secure a place if you live within that area, so you’ll need to do your homework on which schools and areas you want to be in. There’s always the Grammar school to go down if they are in the area you are going to live in ,but they’ll need to sit entrance exams for them.
We moved back to the UK when our daughter was 10. She had 2 school terms in primary school (year 6) before moving up to high school. She found it pretty tough. It could be because she’s a girl and girls going into teenage years are not always the nicest, but she felt as though she didn’t fit in with everyone else. She’d lived in NZ from before she was 2 and felt like she had completely different interest to most of the other girls. When we came back we said we wouldn’t move her from high school as we’d moved around quite a bit before that. If Covid hadn’t hit we wouldn’t have kept that promise and would have gone back to NZ as none of us were happy here. We came back for family but don’t see them anyway, they don’t have or want to make the time to fit us into their lives, but that’s ok, we all make our choices.
I would imagine it’s easier for boys as boys tend to make friends easier, with girls , especially at high school, if you aren’t interested (or good at) sport,clothes,hair,makeup and boys, it tends to be harder
Not everyone’s reasons and experiences are the same, so just do what you think is best for you.
Hope this helps
You will need to check schools zoning (catchment) areas as it will be easier to secure a place if you live within that area, so you’ll need to do your homework on which schools and areas you want to be in. There’s always the Grammar school to go down if they are in the area you are going to live in ,but they’ll need to sit entrance exams for them.
We moved back to the UK when our daughter was 10. She had 2 school terms in primary school (year 6) before moving up to high school. She found it pretty tough. It could be because she’s a girl and girls going into teenage years are not always the nicest, but she felt as though she didn’t fit in with everyone else. She’d lived in NZ from before she was 2 and felt like she had completely different interest to most of the other girls. When we came back we said we wouldn’t move her from high school as we’d moved around quite a bit before that. If Covid hadn’t hit we wouldn’t have kept that promise and would have gone back to NZ as none of us were happy here. We came back for family but don’t see them anyway, they don’t have or want to make the time to fit us into their lives, but that’s ok, we all make our choices.
I would imagine it’s easier for boys as boys tend to make friends easier, with girls , especially at high school, if you aren’t interested (or good at) sport,clothes,hair,makeup and boys, it tends to be harder
Not everyone’s reasons and experiences are the same, so just do what you think is best for you.
Hope this helps
#3
Re: Moving back to the UK with teenagers...
Also, FWIW, my daughter isn't interested in clothes, make up, social media, sports and never had any issues. She founds lots of others that had the same interests as her. They'd go camping at the weekends instead of shopping and hanging out at malls.
#4
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Joined: Jan 2021
Posts: 14
Re: Moving back to the UK with teenagers...
The choices they have in year 8 aren’t the full choices for all gcse subjects, at my daughters school anyway. They had to choose a couple of subjects, but they weren’t the proper gcse choices, they were made in year 9. Maybe things have changed at some schools since covid but at my daughters school their GCSEs were done over 2 years.
I’m not saying all girls like shopping etc. and my daughter does have friends that aren’t interested in those things and has many other interests, you just have to seek them out. Covid and lockdowns didn’t help. 😔
I’m not saying all girls like shopping etc. and my daughter does have friends that aren’t interested in those things and has many other interests, you just have to seek them out. Covid and lockdowns didn’t help. 😔
#5
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Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 6,148
Re: Moving back to the UK with teenagers...
Nobody can answer that and you will probably know your children best. I would assume that there are also many other factors that can make it a success/failure (teachers, classmates, location, your jobs).
The challenges would probably be the same if you moved from Dunedin to a very busy area of Auckland and the opposite. It's the same in Ireland and one example is sport, so if a child that loves surfing in Lahinch but parents decide to move to Tullamore, would the child fit in? Some mange and some don't.
The challenges would probably be the same if you moved from Dunedin to a very busy area of Auckland and the opposite. It's the same in Ireland and one example is sport, so if a child that loves surfing in Lahinch but parents decide to move to Tullamore, would the child fit in? Some mange and some don't.
#6
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Joined: Aug 2022
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Re: Moving back to the UK with teenagers...
Thank you for all your responses. NZ is such a beautiful place to live but such a shame it's so hard to fit into a social circle. We have lived in Hawkes Bay for the past 6 years and although kiwis are friendly, we have never been invited or included into a social gathering. Everyone seems to be locked in with their 'coffee group' circle. My husband and I have become very lonely,
Has anyone else experienced this? And how has life changed for you and your children back in the UK?
Has anyone else experienced this? And how has life changed for you and your children back in the UK?
#8
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Joined: Jun 2005
Location: In a large village called Auckland
Posts: 5,249
Re: Moving back to the UK with teenagers...
NZ is such a beautiful place to live but such a shame it's so hard to fit into a social circle. We have lived in Hawkes Bay for the past 6 years and although kiwis are friendly, we have never been invited or included into a social gathering. Everyone seems to be locked in with their 'coffee group' circle. My husband and I have become very lonely, Has anyone else experienced this?
COVID and working from home obviously has not helped anyone's social life over the past 2.5 year and it may be a while before some folks start to venture out again - there's a lot of folks still in hermit mode, doing online shopping, getting food delivered and only leaving the house if they must.
We are friends with a couple of British families who we go out with once or twice a year and usually invited to each others houses for BBQs or dinner on birthdays and special occasions. You could try inviting folks to yours but that can be a hard ask as well, we find invites can often be met with a sharp no as everyone is soooo busy and usually has to juggle their lives around kids activities.
#9
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2021
Posts: 71
Re: Moving back to the UK with teenagers...
Thank you for all your responses. NZ is such a beautiful place to live but such a shame it's so hard to fit into a social circle. We have lived in Hawkes Bay for the past 6 years and although kiwis are friendly, we have never been invited or included into a social gathering. Everyone seems to be locked in with their 'coffee group' circle. My husband and I have become very lonely,
Has anyone else experienced this? And how has life changed for you and your children back in the UK?
Has anyone else experienced this? And how has life changed for you and your children back in the UK?
#10
Just Joined
Joined: Jan 2021
Posts: 14
Re: Moving back to the UK with teenagers...
We lived in Hawkes Bay for 4 years and then the west coast of the South Island for 4 years. It took us a good 2 years to make any friends, but that was only because we had a young daughter and my wife eventually made friends with other mums. As you say everyone is very friendly but it does take time to gradually make friends. We then joined the gym in the South Island and made friends there through the various classes we did (we were not gym people), but not friendly enough to pop round for a cuppa.
Its been the same experience back in the UK. We’ve been back 5 years and don’t have close friends. The ones we had before we left have all moved on with their lives and don’t have time to fit us in like before, but that’s our experience and everyone has different ones
Its been the same experience back in the UK. We’ve been back 5 years and don’t have close friends. The ones we had before we left have all moved on with their lives and don’t have time to fit us in like before, but that’s our experience and everyone has different ones
#11
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 6,148
Re: Moving back to the UK with teenagers...
We lived in Hawkes Bay for 4 years and then the west coast of the South Island for 4 years. It took us a good 2 years to make any friends, but that was only because we had a young daughter and my wife eventually made friends with other mums. As you say everyone is very friendly but it does take time to gradually make friends. We then joined the gym in the South Island and made friends there through the various classes we did (we were not gym people), but not friendly enough to pop round for a cuppa.
Its been the same experience back in the UK. We’ve been back 5 years and don’t have close friends. The ones we had before we left have all moved on with their lives and don’t have time to fit us in like before, but that’s our experience and everyone has different ones
Its been the same experience back in the UK. We’ve been back 5 years and don’t have close friends. The ones we had before we left have all moved on with their lives and don’t have time to fit us in like before, but that’s our experience and everyone has different ones
#12
Re: Moving back to the UK with teenagers...
Totally experienced it. I do feel for you. I only have 5 friends here after 17 years. All five are from Europe and I made all those chums in my first 2 to 3 years of my 17 years here.
I have found that whilst Kiwis exude a chummy veneer they will not let you into the inner sanctum of their social life, they just won’t, no idea why. I have made HUGE efforts to curry relationships with kiwis to no avail. Ironically one of my close mates is a Cook Island Maori who I met in the U.K. 30 years ago. He has lived in the UK for 17 years now.
I have found that whilst Kiwis exude a chummy veneer they will not let you into the inner sanctum of their social life, they just won’t, no idea why. I have made HUGE efforts to curry relationships with kiwis to no avail. Ironically one of my close mates is a Cook Island Maori who I met in the U.K. 30 years ago. He has lived in the UK for 17 years now.