British Expats

British Expats (https://britishexpats.com/forum/)

- New Zealand (https://britishexpats.com/forum/new-zealand-83/)

- - Moving (https://britishexpats.com/forum/new-zealand-83/moving-926186/)

Hi there, apologies for the long post! Basically, I'm a British nurse as is my wife, we have two small children. After the EU referendum my wife said she wanted to look at leaving the UK, after research it turned out NZ was the country we qualified most for. Unfortunately, she completely changed her mind a few months later and now says she's no intention of even leaving Yorkshire. It's devastating for me as I'd my heart set on at least trying, but she won't be shifted. Has anyone else come across this? What can I do? The other issue is our daughter was born with glaucoma and has mild developmental delay (not intellectual disabilities). She sees opthalmology and optometry every six months and has speech and language, OT and a visual impairment team involved with her and they think she'll need cane training for moving around. Would they refuse us on medical issues due to this anyway? Apologies for the ramble!

Did you follow the advice given in your previous thread on the same subject and try and get her to NZ for a holiday? If so, what did she think of the country?

With your daughters medical issues (no idea if they would cause your visa app to be refused, others will advise on that), then it sounds as if her support network would be particularly important.

Quote:

Originally Posted by christmasoompa (Post 12706360)

I'd actually completely forgotten I'd ever posted on here! I did suggest the holiday to her, she didn't want to do that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nurse1692 (Post 12706386)

I'd actually completely forgotten I'd ever posted on here! I did suggest the holiday to her, she didn't want to do that.

Well then it looks as if you have a decision to make - wife and daughter in UK or NZ. No amount of cajoling will make someone happy in a place they don't want to be. Your wife has been pretty clear that she's not interested in moving overseas, and it's extremely unlikely you'll be able to take your daughter without your wife, so now the choice is yours.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nurse1692 (Post 12706336)

Nothing. She made a knee jerk comment at a moment in time which she did not mean. She loves where she is and does not wish to move anywhere. Not even Lancashire !

Quote:

The other issue is our daughter was born with glaucoma and has mild developmental delay (not intellectual disabilities). She sees opthalmology and optometry every six months and has speech and language, OT and a visual impairment team involved with her and they think she'll need cane training for moving around. Would they refuse us on medical issues due to this anyway? Apologies for the ramble!

Likely yes .

Quote:

Originally Posted by NZ Immigration operations manual

A4.10.1 Medical conditions deemed to impose significant costs and/or demands on New Zealand's health and/or education services

Severe vision impairment with visual acuity of 6/36 or beyond after best possible correction at country of origin, or a loss restricting the field of vision to 15-20 degrees where significant support is required

Your daughter presently needs specialised support in several areas & will likely need that for the foreseeable future. NZ would more than likely deem that as not meeting the standard. In any case, from what you write , your daughter and all your family are best off where there is familiarity and security. Brexit is absolutely no reason to upset that and move to the far ends of the earth.

My suggestion is that you adjust your mindset away from devastated and maybe find something new and interesting to do or engage you. In the years to come this world will still be here and with time comes change. In the future your wife and your children may feel more open to exploring change. Until then , be patient.

I hope your daughter gets all the help and support she needs & that she makes progress towards what is achievable for her.

If she ain't for moving, let it go
The divorce rate for unhappy expats in NZ must be sky high. I know 6 couples who have all split and divorced since coming over.

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Originally Posted by Justcol (Post 12706438)

If she ain't for moving, let it go
The divorce rate for unhappy expats in NZ must be sky high. I know 6 couples who have all split and divorced since coming over.

Same in Australia. The majority of the couples I know who emigrated have had either split or major problems. Especially if one is less happy with the decision to move here or if there's kids involved.