Moods
Mar 6th 2007, 11:59 am
#16
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Re: Moods
Jack,
we've been through it too mate! You've been to NZ so my take is just think about the big picture - overall the future for your kids growing up in NZ outweighs the other stuff IMHO!
Dave
we've been through it too mate! You've been to NZ so my take is just think about the big picture - overall the future for your kids growing up in NZ outweighs the other stuff IMHO!
Dave
Mar 6th 2007, 2:10 pm
#17
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 5,763
Re: Moods
What about family?
Everyone will tell is "yeah right thing........" then tell family and its another story
TBH they have come around to the idea now. My mum likes the idea of what Laura's folk's have done. You know get a section and have another house put on it for them 
Everyone will tell is "yeah right thing........" then tell family and its another story
TBH they have come around to the idea now. My mum likes the idea of what Laura's folk's have done. You know get a section and have another house put on it for them There was a miscommunication with my parents on the phone. I called them and said that we were going to visit NZ, and my Mum said "it's about time, you've wanted to go there for years!", then I agreed, and said I'd probably be taking some CVs with me... she said "Alright, that sounds like a good idea!" and we left it at that. Well, when the subject came up in person - the morning of the day we left England to come back to the US - I discovered that she hadn't actually heard the second part of what I said, and had just given me some stock answer. ARGH! So yeah I definitely should have brought it up the moment we touched down at Heathrow, but we just miscommunicated. At first there was the usual "why so far away?" so then I started on the pros of moving there, pretty much mostly for the lifestyle change and the advantages of going there with our daughter.
My family's pretty small, my Dad's an only child and my Mum only has one sibling, and I'm not even sure if he and his family know we might emigrate. I'm sure Mum's told him, but I've not had any feedback.
I think my brother and his wife would definitely visit. They've only come to the US once, and that was for my daughter's christening. They have zero interest in coming here again. But my brother is an extremely keen ornithologist and now works in conservation management so I'm pretty sure he'd be the first visitor on our doorstep.
But like with other posters here, my Dad was the more quiet. Mum's really come around to the idea, and even custom-ordered a jigsaw puzzle of NZ for our daughter, and has been sending newspaper articles galore about NZ. She's actually quite excited for us, I think. Dad's being his usual self, and just not talking about it at all... oh well! Can't force the issue.
I've been an expat for almost 15 years now - this Friday is the 15-year anniversary of when I moved to France - so they're used to me not being around by now. It is very unfortunate that I have my parents' only grandchild, but that really can't be helped, and I'm not going to feel guilty for striving to give her a better life.
Just last night I was chatting with hubby and we were both saying how relieved we were that we hadn't moved to England when the time came to leave France. Lucky escape!
Mar 6th 2007, 2:22 pm
#18
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Posts: 5,094
Re: Moods
Im sure my folks will visit at least once a year for a few months at a time. Health permitting that is.
My dad had a near fatal heart problem whilst on holiday in Cuba a couple of years ago and (long story but.....) ended up in hospital for 8 or 9 weeks in Mexico City then a further 8 weeks in one over here. Kinda put a stop to them travelling (except France) for the last 2 years, even though as we speak they are in Cancun
So I am thinking about his health and how it may affect their ability to travel when we have gone.
I shouldnt really think about it but I do
My dad had a near fatal heart problem whilst on holiday in Cuba a couple of years ago and (long story but.....) ended up in hospital for 8 or 9 weeks in Mexico City then a further 8 weeks in one over here. Kinda put a stop to them travelling (except France) for the last 2 years, even though as we speak they are in Cancun
So I am thinking about his health and how it may affect their ability to travel when we have gone.I shouldnt really think about it but I do
Mar 6th 2007, 2:24 pm
#19
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Location: NZ
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Re: Moods
No, but seriously though; we've both been through everything that people describe previously from we're taking the kids away rom their family, to can we afford to do this really, to the latest one that I keep going on about is, "There isn't very much wrong with our life here, so why are we changing it???" We've got a good group of friends who don't want us to leave, our kids are settled in school & nursery, we live in a nice area, so why upset the apple cart?????!!!!!!!
Before you ask; because we're bored!!!! we want something different from our lives except work, work, work & feeling as if we ( including our kids) constantly have to keep up with the Jones's & we don't want to be saying what my Kev's Dad does 40 years down the line, "if only.......".
So when I have my doubtful days, I go to the Great Picture Thread & look at what we're missing, look out of my window, into my neighbours house
& think about what the pros versus the cons are, and then I feel a bit more determined than I did the day before that we will get there,
even if it's not this time ( Lord please tell me I don't have to have that fear!!)
Mar 6th 2007, 2:31 pm
#20
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Re: Moods
Bye the way, I feel its healthy to have these fears/worries that I have I was just wondering if others have them and how they cope 
Mar 6th 2007, 2:35 pm
#21
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 5,763
Re: Moods
No, but seriously though; we've both been through everything that people describe previously from we're taking the kids away rom their family, to can we afford to do this really, to the latest one that I keep going on about is, "There isn't very much wrong with our life here, so why are we changing it???" We've got a good group of friends who don't want us to leave, our kids are settled in school & nursery, we live in a nice area, so why upset the apple cart?????!!!!!!!
Before you ask; because we're bored!!!! we want something different from our lives except work, work, work & feeling as if we ( including our kids) constantly have to keep up with the Jones's & we don't want to be saying what my Kev's Dad does 40 years down the line, "if only.......".
So when I have my doubtful days, I go to the Great Picture Thread & look at what we're missing, look out of my window, into my neighbours house & think about what the pros versus the cons are, and then I feel a bit more determined than I did the day before that we will get there, even if it's not this time ( Lord please tell me I don't have to have that fear!!)
Before you ask; because we're bored!!!! we want something different from our lives except work, work, work & feeling as if we ( including our kids) constantly have to keep up with the Jones's & we don't want to be saying what my Kev's Dad does 40 years down the line, "if only.......".
So when I have my doubtful days, I go to the Great Picture Thread & look at what we're missing, look out of my window, into my neighbours house
& think about what the pros versus the cons are, and then I feel a bit more determined than I did the day before that we will get there, even if it's not this time ( Lord please tell me I don't have to have that fear!!)
) who think we're insane for wanting to leave the "Good Old US of A"! But we (hubby and I) both know it's time for us to move. Our itchy feet are getting itchier by the day. I mean, we met when we were both expats, so it's not like it's anything new to either of us. His Mum goes into sulk mode when we talk about the move, but there again, she thinks that anyone who wants to travel more than 2 hours to get somewhere (by car, never by 'plane) is certifiable. 
Last edited by Maz; Mar 6th 2007 at 2:36 pm. Reason: wasn't clear
Mar 6th 2007, 2:57 pm
#22
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 57
Re: Moods
phew, thanx jack, thought i was going bit loopy on me own there.
i lie awake from like 7 in the morning going overe and over the pros and cons.
in our situation my mums giving me extreme guilt trips ,my 17 yrolds not coming,and mainly through worry about him,we decided to go.
my 15 yrolds gloomy and depressed when we talk about it.
so i lie there at 7 thinking am i selfish bugger doing this to them all,then i think of my 5yrold son and think about how much he will benefit,also the teenage daughter,she will be fine too as her life here is mainly stuck in front of the computer as im too scared to let her go out at night.
and as for my 17 yrold ,i think if things go to plan as we hope,then i think he will follow at later date. well fingers crossed anyway.
and to add to this worry,we are going through visitors visa .
its a case of if things dont work out we are homeless into the bargain.
but strangely enough,i still feel we should at least even try,as i seen on previous reply about the parents regretting not doing it. we dont want to get to that stage.
so all going well with house sale etc,we are off in september.
lovely pics jack in your blog.
bye for now
eileen
i lie awake from like 7 in the morning going overe and over the pros and cons.
in our situation my mums giving me extreme guilt trips ,my 17 yrolds not coming,and mainly through worry about him,we decided to go.
my 15 yrolds gloomy and depressed when we talk about it.
so i lie there at 7 thinking am i selfish bugger doing this to them all,then i think of my 5yrold son and think about how much he will benefit,also the
teenage daughter,she will be fine too as her life here is mainly stuck in front of the computer as im too scared to let her go out at night.and as for my 17 yrold ,i think if things go to plan as we hope,then i think he will follow at later date. well fingers crossed anyway.
and to add to this worry,we are going through visitors visa
.its a case of if things dont work out we are homeless into the bargain.
but strangely enough,i still feel we should at least even try,as i seen on previous reply about the parents regretting not doing it. we dont want to get to that stage.
so all going well with house sale etc,we are off in september.
lovely pics jack in your blog.
bye for now
eileen
Aaahh what relief, I was really beginning to doubt my decision to resign what is quite a good job/salary, have my wife quit, sell our house and leave for NZ without even any prospect of job in NZ (and neither of us are qualified to boot). Are we mad
But to know there are others out there in the same boat is increasingly reassuring. It would seem though that there is a general consensus that if things dont work out it's not the end of the world to return home. For us, returning home (to South Africa) wont be an option. Its taken be 12 years in the water industry to get where I am today. If I have to come back then I doubt I would be able to get a job with similar salary. So that means we would not be able to afford decent schooling, house, or more NB with 3 young boys - medical aid. So failure is not an option
good luck with sale of house - we put ours on the market in the next few days...
Mar 6th 2007, 3:08 pm
#23
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Joined: Oct 2006
Location: NZ
Posts: 3,366
Re: Moods
Completely understand. There are some on this board (like Ray ) who think we're insane for wanting to leave the "Good Old US of A"! But we (hubby and I) both know it's time for us to move. Our itchy feet are getting itchier by the day. I mean, we met when we were both expats, so it's not like it's anything new to either of us. His Mum goes into sulk mode when we talk about the move, but there again, she thinks that anyone who wants to travel more than 2 hours to get somewhere (by car, never by 'plane) is certifiable.
) who think we're insane for wanting to leave the "Good Old US of A"! But we (hubby and I) both know it's time for us to move. Our itchy feet are getting itchier by the day. I mean, we met when we were both expats, so it's not like it's anything new to either of us. His Mum goes into sulk mode when we talk about the move, but there again, she thinks that anyone who wants to travel more than 2 hours to get somewhere (by car, never by 'plane) is certifiable. WE had a 5 year plan that basically was acheived when we moved here, so we've spent the last 4 years in limbo not sure in what direction we wanted to go, mainly because from a financial point of view, it is very difficult to change direction once you're on the hamster wheel in the U.K, without a massive injection of cash.
Our trip to NZ in 2005 was a wake up call to us.That coupled with events in other people lives, we decided that we were gonna stop talking about it & get on & do it. 18 months later, the house is sold & our lives are in the hand of some official in the Haymarket ( hopefully as we speak) and who knows what the future holds but hey a least we've tried
As for family, I don't speak to mine, so no probs there, in fact it'll be a relief to be so far away & as for Kev's family, his sister & her family are just starting to look into the whole immigration thing & Kev's mum & dad are already making plans to retire in NZ, if they can get sponsored by us & if not, they'll do 6 months in NZ & 6 months in the UK. Whatever happens we have to do what we consider best for our children & our future
So as scarey as it all seems right now, one day I hope to look back on this time & think this was just the beginning of our next "big" adventure!!
Good Luck everyone x
Mar 6th 2007, 5:27 pm
#24
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 13
Re: Moods
Hi Jack,
I have to say that we went through the same for a few months until we decided to go for it, however it is a big step to make so it is only right that you should ask yourself all the questions. You know for us it was the best thing we ever did but I does not suit some people. I think one big question to ask is do you like the UK, if you do then ask yourself what you want out of NZ ?
We know some people here who seemed to like thier UK life and spend a lot of time just comparing the two countrys, they live with one foot in each country and I wonder why they came here in the first place.
Regards the parents I think you have to be a bit selfish and say that have lead their life and hopefully made good use of all their opportunities and now it's your turn. The other thing is if they have the means to visit you in NZ then you could be adding to their life not just taking something away.
Thats my thoughts anyway so perhaps you are normal after all - well sort of ha ha
Cheers
Darren
I have to say that we went through the same for a few months until we decided to go for it, however it is a big step to make so it is only right that you should ask yourself all the questions. You know for us it was the best thing we ever did but I does not suit some people. I think one big question to ask is do you like the UK, if you do then ask yourself what you want out of NZ ?
We know some people here who seemed to like thier UK life and spend a lot of time just comparing the two countrys, they live with one foot in each country and I wonder why they came here in the first place.
Regards the parents I think you have to be a bit selfish and say that have lead their life and hopefully made good use of all their opportunities and now it's your turn. The other thing is if they have the means to visit you in NZ then you could be adding to their life not just taking something away.
Thats my thoughts anyway so perhaps you are normal after all - well sort of ha ha
Cheers
Darren
Mar 6th 2007, 5:34 pm
#25
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 5,094
Re: Moods
Hi Jack,
I have to say that we went through the same for a few months until we decided to go for it, however it is a big step to make so it is only right that you should ask yourself all the questions. You know for us it was the best thing we ever did but I does not suit some people. I think one big question to ask is do you like the UK, if you do then ask yourself what you want out of NZ ?
We know some people here who seemed to like thier UK life and spend a lot of time just comparing the two countrys, they live with one foot in each country and I wonder why they came here in the first place.
Regards the parents I think you have to be a bit selfish and say that have lead their life and hopefully made good use of all their opportunities and now it's your turn. The other thing is if they have the means to visit you in NZ then you could be adding to their life not just taking something away.
Thats my thoughts anyway so perhaps you are normal after all - well sort of ha ha
Cheers
Darren
I have to say that we went through the same for a few months until we decided to go for it, however it is a big step to make so it is only right that you should ask yourself all the questions. You know for us it was the best thing we ever did but I does not suit some people. I think one big question to ask is do you like the UK, if you do then ask yourself what you want out of NZ ?
We know some people here who seemed to like thier UK life and spend a lot of time just comparing the two countrys, they live with one foot in each country and I wonder why they came here in the first place.
Regards the parents I think you have to be a bit selfish and say that have lead their life and hopefully made good use of all their opportunities and now it's your turn. The other thing is if they have the means to visit you in NZ then you could be adding to their life not just taking something away.
Thats my thoughts anyway so perhaps you are normal after all - well sort of ha ha
Cheers
Darren
I think your right and I will have to get a bit selfish
Mar 6th 2007, 7:02 pm
#26
Newbie
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: UK ... Waiheke Island sometime in 2007
Posts: 32
Re: Moods
I go through this cycle on an almost permanent spin! and it is a widely held view I am a few cans short of a six pack!!!!!!! 
Currently I am "on a move to NZ is back on" uppper but it could all change....it normally does 
\
Mar 7th 2007, 9:26 am
#28
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 93
Re: Moods
[quote=kevinhenator;4488990]Aaahh what relief, I was really beginning to doubt my decision to resign what is quite a good job/salary, have my wife quit, sell our house and leave for NZ without even any prospect of job in NZ (and neither of us are qualified to boot). Are we mad
But to know there are others out there in the same boat is increasingly reassuring. It would seem though that there is a general consensus that if things dont work out it's not the end of the world to return home. For us, returning home (to South Africa) wont be an option. Its taken be 12 years in the water industry to get where I am today. If I have to come back then I doubt I would be able to get a job with similar salary. So that means we would not be able to afford decent schooling, house, or more NB with 3 young boys - medical aid. So failure is not an option
im strong believer if you really want change ,you will make it work for you. hope its true. at least hubby has job to come back too,if it goes pear shaped. i really hope yous make it. what part are yous intending going to?
good luck with the house sale
eileen
But to know there are others out there in the same boat is increasingly reassuring. It would seem though that there is a general consensus that if things dont work out it's not the end of the world to return home. For us, returning home (to South Africa) wont be an option. Its taken be 12 years in the water industry to get where I am today. If I have to come back then I doubt I would be able to get a job with similar salary. So that means we would not be able to afford decent schooling, house, or more NB with 3 young boys - medical aid. So failure is not an option
im strong believer if you really want change ,you will make it work for you. hope its true. at least hubby has job to come back too,if it goes pear shaped. i really hope yous make it. what part are yous intending going to?
good luck with the house sale
eileen
Mar 7th 2007, 11:33 am
#29
Too close to the sun
Joined: Aug 2006
Location: Waihola, Dunedin
Posts: 411
Re: Moods
Only a couple of weeks ago I thought how long we'd been in our house before selling in the middle of feb. 6 years, and the one in Dorset before that 6yrs, before that 12 yrs in the Army in Germany and UK, so I'm guessing in another 6 we'll be off somwhere again but I'm sure it'll still be within NZ
Mar 7th 2007, 2:26 pm
#30
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Joined: Aug 2003
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 2,389
Re: Moods
Jack
we've been the same.
-pros and cons, is it right to leave son here at uni, what should we do about daughter, should she come with us or stay here and go to uni here?
My parents have had angioplasty and have been told they can't fly for more than 2 hrs. (this could be untrue cos mother doesn't like flying!) So the first thing they said to us was "well we won't be coming to visit you"! ummm fine they never visited us in the 6 yrs we lived in Singapore!
It's the waiting around thats hard. The not knowing if some '20something' in NZIS is going to make things difficult for me over medical/blood results.
But I've survived several failed attempts to get us to OZ. I know I'll cope another few months.
Thank goodness for BE and all the friends I've made who have helped me through so far. I know I'll never get to meet most of them but I have enjoyed meeting heaps of them in OZ and look forward to meeting some NZ BE'ers in the not too distant future.
Hang in there Jack
we've been the same.
-pros and cons, is it right to leave son here at uni, what should we do about daughter, should she come with us or stay here and go to uni here?
My parents have had angioplasty and have been told they can't fly for more than 2 hrs. (this could be untrue cos mother doesn't like flying!) So the first thing they said to us was "well we won't be coming to visit you"! ummm fine they never visited us in the 6 yrs we lived in Singapore!
It's the waiting around thats hard. The not knowing if some '20something' in NZIS is going to make things difficult for me over medical/blood results.
But I've survived several failed attempts to get us to OZ. I know I'll cope another few months.
Thank goodness for BE and all the friends I've made who have helped me through so far. I know I'll never get to meet most of them but I have enjoyed meeting heaps of them in OZ and look forward to meeting some NZ BE'ers in the not too distant future.
Hang in there Jack