pricklykina

I was wondering how people mark the passing of family members when they are overseas?

My grandmother just passed away and I'm not going back for the funeral and am struggling to make a meaningful way to acknowledge her passing.
Nobody here knew her.
My daughter met her last time that she was home but doesn't want to talk about her as it makes her sad.

We're having a lunch for her tomorrow (roast lamb that she always cooked me when I visited) but is there anything else that people do

Feel a bit desperate and regretting not going home now (the funeral is on Tuesday)

Thanks all

scrubbedexpat094

I'm so very sorry to hear that PK. My thoughts are with you. A friend of mine recently lost her mother but wasn't able to go to her funeral. She wrote an eulogy to be read out by another member of the family & I think a family friend videoed the service so that she was able to see it.

Maybe you could buy something that would remind you of your Grandmother, an ornament, a plant etc.

When we lost our baby in '99 we bought & planted a rose "Breath of Life" in the UK. Of course, I couldn't bring it with me but once we had bought a house I ordered the very same rose from our local garden centre here. Makes me happy-sad when I look at it.

Although you must feel desperately sad, hold onto your happy memories. I think your lamb dinner is a lovely idea. Lots of

j19fmm

Sorrry to hear your news. I think I'd go along the plant route too. A small tree or rose. Did she have any favourites, or something you remember from her garden perhaps?

MnB

Sorry to hear your sad news....I agree with VBS & Fi....a plant, tree or shrub that you could nurture in her memory
B

theRices

Sorry to hear your sad news,

My Swedish grandmother passed away when we lived in Germany, that same year I planted a Bleeding Heart in the garden (I can remember her having a massive one when I was little), we did sneak it back to the UK but it died so me and the children planted a new one, it flowers on or near her birthday every year (1st of Apr). My grandfathers birthday is in December and we had our youngest christened on what out have been his 80th Birthday as I wanted it to be special, when have now made it a tradition to decorate the xmas tree on his birthday (19th of Dec)

helinuk

Sorry to hear your news.
My husbands sister died suddenly, Nov. 09 and we'd only just returned from a trip to UK so we couldn't go to back for the funeral. We bought a garden ornament (a cat because she loved cats) and on the day of the funeral we went to 'The Elms' in Tauranga, it's an historic house and garden and sat quietly thinking of her and praying for our family. It really helped us.

pricklykina

Thanks all, you're all lovely

Nan was a great gardener ( I am a shocking one but hubby is better!) so I think the plant is a great idea.

We had lunch today...I had written a eulogy for her to be read by the vicar on Tuesday so I read the to my OH, MIL and daughter.

I guess it never seems enough...I went to the English shop yesterday ...I realised that I wouldn't be able to find her in consumer products though!

I'll stay up for the funeral and then start a search for a hardy plant


@Vital Stat...breath of life is a lovely name for a rose. Glad you have one here too

Am Loolah

Aww pricklykina, you poor love.

I think the plant/tree/shrub idea is lovely, maybe with a little plaque?

Why don't you put a copy of your eulogy in a bottle and toss out to sea ... kind of like a scattering of the ashes I guess is what I'm thinking?

Sending you hugs for Tuesday.

Persephone

Sorry to hear your sad news. It's so hard knowing what to do. I didn't go back for my Grandma's funeral and though I don't regret not going back I still feel like I missed out on something important. In a way I still think of her as being alive especially since she was an stroppy madam who'd got her telegram from the Queen and looked like she'd outlive all of us...
It does bring home to you just how far away NZ is.
I hope you find a suitable way of dealing with the grief but also celebrating her life and the good times you had together.
Best wishes for tomorrow PK