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Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

Old Oct 8th 2007, 11:10 am
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Default Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

Ive made stacks of Kiwi pals through myspace.
One is coming to Glasgow on wednesday for 2 days,hes touring Europe.So we are meeting him for a few beers,and when we go to N.Z we are going to pop over to Wellington and meet him again in his home town.
We have a lovely Kiwi couple going to meet us at the airport,have spoken to them on the phone. lovely accents,and they love ours
They have all encouraged us and without them we might have given up the whole idea.
We are meeting up with them all when we get over,their all in Christchurch.
had an offer on the house Andy,so hopefully be in christchurch for xmas
I,ll intoroduce to our Kiwis if you like. lol
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Old Oct 8th 2007, 11:42 am
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Default Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

Originally Posted by Avid View Post
....I wonder if NZ might be the same?
not in my experience as racism is pretty rampant in places in NZ, and that's not just the absence of super-PCism, its daily characterisations of "islanders", "maori", "immigrants", "asians", "afrikaaners" and dare I say "pomms"......its there as an undercurrent and another symptom of the "lag" between NZ and much of the developed world - the "lag" is a big part of the reason we came, but the other downsides are shocking nonetheless. Again, I'd say that the rural mentality may be wrapped up in all that. Again I may be completely wrong and out of order but that's what I see when I meet people, and I meet a lot and have to weigh them up!
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Old Oct 8th 2007, 11:44 am
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Default Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

Originally Posted by eileen35 View Post
Ive made stacks of Kiwi pals through myspace.
...I,ll intoroduce to our Kiwis if you like. lol
you might make kiwi pals but just try making real "friends", I hate to say it but the Kiwis hereabouts and certainly those in the workplace are outwardly friendly but very very difficult to approach and really get to know, its like they dont want to offer themselves......maybe due to the reasons Avid suggested...???
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Old Oct 8th 2007, 11:49 am
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Default Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

Originally Posted by lardyl View Post
you might make kiwi pals
especially when they are doing their European Tour and don't want to traipse around cities on their own.

Not quite the same when they are back on home turf, perhaps.
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Old Oct 8th 2007, 4:05 pm
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Default Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

We spent a month earlier this year travelling around the north island and had a great time ..
We met quite a few Kiwi's and have kept in touch via phone and email sinse we've been back..

We even met a lady on the flight over who invited us to her house for a BBQ and sent her husband to our hotel to pick us up...and we'd only been in NZ for two days..

We also met a great bunch at one of the parks and they insisted we came back for the following weekend when they took us out fishing and skiing on their boats ...BBq fish and beers in the evening ...

Two of the people even offered me a job after finding out our plans to emmigrate !!!

I can honestly say every Kiwi and for that matter maori we met were more than friendly and hospitable ..

can't wait to get back their to live ...
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Old Oct 8th 2007, 8:37 pm
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Default Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

Originally Posted by mitchuk View Post
We spent a month earlier this year travelling around the north island and had a great time ..
We met quite a few Kiwi's and have kept in touch via phone and email sinse we've been back..

We even met a lady on the flight over who invited us to her house for a BBQ and sent her husband to our hotel to pick us up...and we'd only been in NZ for two days..

We also met a great bunch at one of the parks and they insisted we came back for the following weekend when they took us out fishing and skiing on their boats ...BBq fish and beers in the evening ...

Two of the people even offered me a job after finding out our plans to emmigrate !!!

I can honestly say every Kiwi and for that matter maori we met were more than friendly and hospitable ..

can't wait to get back their to live ...
Lots of us had similar experiences when we came on hols or reccies, but to live here is an entirely different experience.

We have been here 6 months and have only just started to make 'Kiwi friends', most of who are actually not from the area we live in, where being accepted is very hard even for a Kiwi.
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Old Oct 8th 2007, 8:40 pm
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Default Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

Originally Posted by kev&sarah View Post
Lots of us had similar experiences when we came on hols or reccies, but to live here is an entirely different experience.

We have been here 6 months and have only just started to make 'Kiwi friends', most of who are actually not from the area we live in, where being accepted is very hard even for a Kiwi.
yes and that experience extends to almost all the other ex-Pats I know (be pom, aussie, yank, Indian, South African, etc) and it is still there in the cities - what Avid had to say is pretty much right on the money. Life's what you make it I suppose and we do try hard - having said that the village we lived in back in UK was a bit like that until the kids came and then the social life and friendships went ballistic - and I mean *ballistic*. Still no sign of that here though - give it time!!!
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Old Oct 8th 2007, 9:25 pm
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Default Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

From what I can work out people from the UK seem to have a knack for talking nonsense which Kiwis just don’t have. We can go off on a tangent on the most bizarre topics for hours at a time. It seems to take more effort to relate to people in NZ.

Also the blokes are much more sport focused over here, I know that’s obvious but I think trying to get in to the rugby at least enough to follow the teams and the odd game may be a good idea. I you like another sport then try and get them in to that, guys in general here seem up for getting in to anything like that.

Women I’ve had no trouble making friends with, they seem a lot less girly than some of my mates from back home but I’ve decided not to point that out. They seem more inclusive than the guys in general and sometimes less inclined to talk sport all afternoon.

Other than that, they may not always get British sarcasm and seem to have a coffee rather than beer culture at my work. Maybe that just Hamilton or just my office? Hmmm yep definitely missing the pub, does that make me an alchy?
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Old Oct 8th 2007, 9:53 pm
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Default Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

Originally Posted by spoonguy View Post
From what I can work out people from the UK seem to have a knack for talking nonsense which Kiwis just don’t have. We can go off on a tangent on the most bizarre topics for hours at a time. It seems to take more effort to relate to people in NZ.

Also the blokes are much more sport focused over here, I know that’s obvious but I think trying to get in to the rugby at least enough to follow the teams and the odd game may be a good idea. I you like another sport then try and get them in to that, guys in general here seem up for getting in to anything like that.

Women I’ve had no trouble making friends with, they seem a lot less girly than some of my mates from back home but I’ve decided not to point that out. They seem more inclusive than the guys in general and sometimes less inclined to talk sport all afternoon.

Other than that, they may not always get British sarcasm and seem to have a coffee rather than beer culture at my work. Maybe that just Hamilton or just my office? Hmmm yep definitely missing the pub, does that make me an alchy?
Agreed 100% with the above. I find kiwi blokes (in general) particularly hard to get on with.
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Old Oct 9th 2007, 2:23 am
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Default Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

Originally Posted by spoonguy View Post
From what I can work out people from the UK seem to have a knack for talking nonsense which Kiwis just don’t have. We can go off on a tangent on the most bizarre topics for hours at a time. It seems to take more effort to relate to people in NZ.

Also the blokes are much more sport focused over here, I know that’s obvious but I think trying to get in to the rugby at least enough to follow the teams and the odd game may be a good idea. I you like another sport then try and get them in to that, guys in general here seem up for getting in to anything like that.

Women I’ve had no trouble making friends with, they seem a lot less girly than some of my mates from back home but I’ve decided not to point that out. They seem more inclusive than the guys in general and sometimes less inclined to talk sport all afternoon.

Other than that, they may not always get British sarcasm and seem to have a coffee rather than beer culture at my work. Maybe that just Hamilton or just my office? Hmmm yep definitely missing the pub, does that make me an alchy?
I agree with most of your points. There is a definite drinking culture in the Uk which is passed down through the generations. Most people in the UK drink (prob a lot more than they should do) to cope with the stresses and strains of life. They have done for hundreds of years. Not so big here. I remember all the Kiwis I met when I was in London being so shocked when they discovered how important "the pub" was to the average pome. it part of out social interaction/part of our culture.

Disagree with you about the sport though- suggesting that blokes are more focused on sport here. yes perhaps rugby is big here, but it doesn't compare to how big football is in the Uk. It can't. There are 60million people in the Uk and look at the average attandance at a football match compared to rugby. it's a whole different level.

I find Kiwis, on the whole, extremely friendly, although they do "keep them selves to themselves" There is definitely a stick to what/who you know mentality here- as if there is not benefit in meeting outsiders and discovering new things. They tend to be very slow to intergrate. Just look at all the kiwis over in London (most of them mix/live with other kiwis and then come home again)
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Old Oct 9th 2007, 5:03 am
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Default Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

Originally Posted by tallpaul2uk View Post
They tend to be very slow to intergrate. Just look at all the kiwis over in London (most of them mix/live with other kiwis and then come home again)
Maybe that's because your average Londoner is pretty reserved and unfriendly towards newcomers too???? Other Europeans have often told me their experience of the English is that they are very polite and will help answer a tourist's question but volunteer no more about themselves...we all know exceptions to this rule (my Mum for one who will talk to anyone, MIL too)...but there's definitely a grain of truth in it. I lived on a new estate in the same house in the UK for 15 years and commuted up to London everyday for the first 10 years (so was never there - at weekend we used to go away a lot visiting friends) and found I only made 'real friends' in the locality after I had my first baby which is something Lardyl commented on earlier.

I think Avid's right about newcomers, expats etc tending to stick together the world over but I just got back from one of my kid's swimming lesson where I got talking to a lady I thought was a kiwi and you guessed it she was a Brit in disguise...this keeps happening to me . Her kiwi accent disappeared once she'd confessed too...is there a lesson here?

On a superficial level EVERYONE is much friendlier here than anywhere I have ever lived before, people smile at each other and return smiles readily which is pretty good for a capital city.
I have to agree though that most of my 'friends' so far are also expats - not just Brits though. It was the same in my last location although there was a language barrier too.

Of course I don't help my cause by saying I'm only here for 4 years but I'm a tad disappointed to hear most of you who technically have 'emigrated' are also finding it tough...maybe it just takes time...I think you have to have the thing in common sport, religion, politics, stuck at home with kids or whatever for it to happen naturally....whereas newly arrived expats understand that it is worth trying out a wider range of people because to be honest you never know who you will click with at the end of the day.

Good luck to us all in our endeavours...it really should be easy given the language and common heritage.
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Old Oct 9th 2007, 8:34 pm
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Default Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

Wiz and Ton

Stop trying. Just be yourselves, and you'll make friends. When you stop being "pom" kiwis will take you at face value, and some of the new friends you make will be NZ's and some will be from elsewhere -all will be valuable.

Steve
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Old Oct 9th 2007, 9:20 pm
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Default Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

jacky g here.....myaughter as you may be aware from my previous posts has now been to 2 schools....1 that was 90% kiwis i would say....
and the other about 10% kiwis,the second being made up of mostly pacific islanders,and maoiris,

the pacific islanders,maoiris,chinese etc are far friendlier than the kiwis....
she has been totaly excepted at that school from day 1 and they call her "my scottish friend"....and they love her accent,keep asking her to say things....and asking about her country....

the second school wouldn't even give her the time of day,and the girls were ,according to her complete bitches.....and made her feel like an outsider...

i made the mistake of judging the people at the first school by stories i heard...i personaly find kiwis don't mix with brits that well....when i pick son up from school its the chines that speak to me....a few of the kiwi fathers have,but not the womeni even smile and say hello,many times just to get ignored....
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Old Oct 9th 2007, 9:34 pm
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Default Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

Originally Posted by garryhg View Post
not the women

Well...let's be brutally honest, the women out here are quite frightening. No?

I mean, I always thought the reason that New Zealand never won Miss World was simply a question of population size...but now I know the truth....
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Old Oct 9th 2007, 9:36 pm
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Default Re: Making Kiwi Mates - What's the Secret?

Originally Posted by Avid View Post
Well...let's be brutally honest, the women out here are quite frightening. No?

I mean, I always thought the reason that New Zealand never won Miss World was simply a question of population size...but now I know the truth....
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