View Poll Results: Have you found it east to make friends
I have made many new Kiwi friends
9
30.00%
I find it hard to find kiwi friends
17
56.67%
Too new to comment, ask me in 3 months
1
3.33%
Im a cave troll I dont care
3
10.00%
Voters: 30. You may not vote on this poll

Making friends

Old Aug 10th 2012, 12:42 am
  #1  
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Default Making friends

Interesting read:

http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/7454...friends-easily

I think the one thing that is always overlooked is that you cant compare the friendships you have before arriving here to what you come up against here, back home you grew up with the people, worked with the people, became friends over a period of time.

You cant honestly expect to move to a new country and just slot in surely?? Kiwis are no different they have grown up with their existing circle of friends over the years and it just takes time

Just my thoughts
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Old Aug 10th 2012, 1:09 am
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Default Re: Making friends

Originally Posted by alanmacc View Post
Interesting read:

http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/7454...friends-easily

I think the one thing that is always overlooked is that you cant compare the friendships you have before arriving here to what you come up against here, back home you grew up with the people, worked with the people, became friends over a period of time.

You cant honestly expect to move to a new country and just slot in surely?? Kiwis are no different they have grown up with their existing circle of friends over the years and it just takes time

Just my thoughts
Been here 7 years and we have only have a few kiwi friends. I find their 'niceness' purely a veneer. Try to get to know them and they clam up OR do not return your invite. Maybe over the 7 years of trying they have all just disliked us!!!!!

I find our sense of humour is different AND the outlook on life is very different. I think too many kiwis have an insular attitude..me me me. Their driving attitude bears this out IMO.
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Old Aug 10th 2012, 1:28 am
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Default Re: Making friends

where's the option for BE Friends? or do you mean just Kiwi friends as we're going to be hard pushed to find any where we are as this little Bay seems to be inhabited by expats (no none all from BE )
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Old Aug 10th 2012, 1:57 am
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Default Re: Making friends

Making friends with Kiwis

One of lifes toughest challenges, easily!

Now I accept not all Kiwis are like this but certainly the ones that i've encountered, they will be more than happy to play the nicey nicey part, but then once coffee, beer or barbeque is mentioned - they run away as fast as possible.

I think it was The Press or somewhere that mentioned the majority of Kiwis *mates* are work colleagues. Outside of work is a rare.

The boss and I have started these anti-natal classes and i'm confident once everyone has met for the final time showing new borns, they'll pop up, go and never be seen again. Each to their own

I'm not sure what it's like when kids are involved as I tend to find back in the UK that adult friendships are usually formed via kids. We'll have to see I suppose
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Old Aug 10th 2012, 3:56 am
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Default Re: Making friends

I've found it a bit of a mix really.

When I lived in Rotorua I found it pretty difficult to get a social circle going. I socialised with the girls from work which was a mix of kiwis and worldwide ex pats. But it was a pretty rare occurence that you could actually convince them to do anything that involved being out the house after 8pm so it wasnt exactly the rock and roll lifestyle!
I also had a few other ex pat friends but no real social circle to speak of, more just the occasional coffee and lunch.

I was lucky when I moved to Auckland that I already know a couple of people here and I've kinda gate crashed their social circle! Now I'm 'independently' friends with the people I met through them and we all socialise regularly, and they're all kiwis.
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Old Aug 10th 2012, 4:46 am
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Default Re: Making friends

Originally Posted by Tom1983 View Post
Making friends with Kiwis

One of lifes toughest challenges, easily!

Now I accept not all Kiwis are like this but certainly the ones that i've encountered, they will be more than happy to play the nicey nicey part, but then once coffee, beer or barbeque is mentioned - they run away as fast as possible.

I think it was The Press or somewhere that mentioned the majority of Kiwis *mates* are work colleagues. Outside of work is a rare.

The boss and I have started these anti-natal classes and i'm confident once everyone has met for the final time showing new borns, they'll pop up, go and never be seen again. Each to their own

I'm not sure what it's like when kids are involved as I tend to find back in the UK that adult friendships are usually formed via kids. We'll have to see I suppose
That made me laugh. Maybe it was deliberate but I think you mean ante-natal

We have made some good kiwi friends & been invited to various events with them but I can't totally be me with them. I'm always watching what I say. The friends I've made here from the UK & also a German pal of mine, I can be totally open with.
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Old Aug 10th 2012, 8:26 am
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Default Re: Making friends

Originally Posted by Tom1983 View Post

I think it was The Press or somewhere that mentioned the majority of Kiwis *mates* are work colleagues. Outside of work is a rare.


I have to say, I thought it was the opposite with kiwis - they are less likely to blur the boundaries of work and home than the Brits. However, it appears the Brits find their friends at work now days:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...old-mates.html
These days, we forge more friendships through work than through school, university, hobbies or family, according to a survey.
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Old Aug 10th 2012, 8:34 am
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Default Re: Making friends

As some may recall I left these shores in '86 and lived in the UK for 24 years. I am really pleased that I have managed to slip easily back into friendships I left behind all those years ago. Some of them I hadn't seen for 30 years and we just slipped right back into friendship mode. I never had those sorts of friendships in the UK, although I got on well and socialised with my British colleagues. I don't think you ever really replace those early friendships before the stresses and strains of life take over.

It's hard fitting in as a migrant whatever country you are in. When I got back to my home country I realised just how much extra effort I had put into fitting in and gaining approval in the UK. I don't need to bother here, I can just be myself!

I was reading somewhere that migrants have higher rates of heart disease. The study was looking at the UK and US and put it down to the stress of having to fit in to a different community.

Last edited by jmh; Aug 10th 2012 at 8:38 am.
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Old Aug 10th 2012, 9:19 am
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Default Re: Making friends

I have made lots of BRITISH friends, only one kiwi one and shes not a close friend
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Old Aug 10th 2012, 9:24 am
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Default Re: Making friends

Originally Posted by Genesis View Post
Been here 7 years and we have only have a few kiwi friends. I find their 'niceness' purely a veneer. Try to get to know them and they clam up OR do not return your invite. Maybe over the 7 years of trying they have all just disliked us!!!!!

I find our sense of humour is different AND the outlook on life is very different. I think too many kiwis have an insular attitude..me me me. Their driving attitude bears this out IMO.
Agree with what you say ive invited some so called kiwi friends around but no invite back , they claim to be all nicey but no damn nosey if you ask me. my british friends on the other hand i can be myself and they love me for it.

so i have made lots of british friends. so cant do the poll
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Old Aug 10th 2012, 10:37 am
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Default Re: Making friends

When i lived in the waikato I only new brits, everyone I knew a brit.
Moved to auckland 18 months ago and all my friends are now kiwis,
Its not easy but its not hard either, people are people where ever you are
treat them as such and they'll respond openly and warmly, try to hide your
true self and they'll see right through it and walk away
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