Gwenaelle72

Hi,

My husband has just been offered a job in Auckland and we have got 4 weeks to take the decision. He always wanted to work abroad and I know it will be a good opportunity for him but the problem is me. I am not sure I want to make the big move, I am scared of changing my life style, feeling lonely adn struggling with money and if something is not right, we will have lost our jobs here in UK. I will probably look for a job in the first time but I also want to start a family (sooner than later as I am 33). We have got everything we need in England, the house, good and reasonably well paid jobs, friends, family (well actually mine is in france (I already made a move 8 years ago!)). I am happy here, my husband is as well but he needs a change. Is there anybody who was in the same situation as me and who could give me some advice about what to do, how to see things. I see loads of negative because of the unknown and I know that I shouldn't be seeing this this way.

bookemjano

Hi - welcome to the madhouse - how good is the job offer? Forget the location for a moment, would you and your husband want to seize the offer if it was in the UK?

Gwenaelle72

The offer is the same as his current salary in UK. The only difference is that here he has got a company car. Are living costs expensive in Auckland on average?

bookemjano

Other people on the forum would be better placed to advise you on Auckland costs, I've done all my research on the South Island as that's where we want to go.

If you don't mind me asking, how did the job offer come up, did your husband apply or was he headhunted?

Also, having once made the move from another country, you know you are strong enough for it, perhaps you should think about what you dealt with during that relocation and ask yourself if you could do it again. You are quite fortunate in that you have some idea of what to expect when migrating.

And, if you want to start a family, you need to ask yourself whether NZ would give your children a better quality of life than the UK. We've soul searched on that one, and we believe it would, but that's a very personal choice.

Four weeks isn't a long time to make such a huge choice when you obviously have so much to consider - could the decision time not be extended?

Gwenaelle72

About the decision time, I am not sure if it can be extended, we will have to ask. About salary I prefer not to say but it is a good offer and he was headhunted for the job.

I know I already move from France to England but to be honest it was so much a deal for em as I knew if there was any problem I could just take the ferry back. I was unemployed in France and came to England via the Job Center in France. They found me a job and a place to live in a High School as French Assistant for 12 months and that was it. I still had to find friends (I was on my own) and that was the hard part of it, I felt down sometimes. Then I met my husband and settled down really well. I know that for this move I have got him with me but he will be at work all day adn will end up on my own until I met people.

For the children, I think that bringing them up in New Zealand will be better than UK but I am worried about the fact that here I have got a job and I will get maternity cover. If I leave now I will have to find a job in Auckland but will probably not get maternity cover or other benefits as I need to work for at least 12 months and we planned to start a family (if possible) at the end of next year. That where the money matters. Here we have two salaries to leave on.

Question: do you think it is easier to move when you are older and when you have a young family or do you think now is THE time to do it?

What is your situation and why are you planning to move to New Zealand?

Gwen

bookemjano

Sorry, I wasn't asking about the salary, more about how the offer came about in that if your husband had searched for the job then it's obviously what he really wants. Being headhunted is a great boost to the ego isn't it - congratulations to him.

Re your question - I wish we'd have done it when the kids were younger I really do but we never had the money to do it before, but given the chance I would definitely have gone earlier. My kids are teenagers and I think they're going to have a harder time than if we'd have done it when they were toddlers because they're going to move away from a lot of friends.

We're waiting to hear if our EOI has been successful, and have just accepted an offer on our house. Hopefully we'll be in NZ before Christmas. Very exciting, but very scary at the same time.

You would meet other people in NZ very easily - from what I've read the people are friendly and welcoming.

Lisa T

I think I understand your situation.

We're giving up a great deal to have a go at living in NZ. My OH also has a job in Auckland and yet for me I am giving up my own business, teacher training, fab house (totally renovated - even today having a kitchen fitted), great car, some of the best friends I have ever had and so much more. Sometimes I am absolutely petrified at what I am leaving behind and yet I know that if we as a family don't do it now we never will and we'll always be wondering if we should have done it.

As my family said "It's only a plane away - if you don't like it come back and think well at least you gave it a go". We visited and really loved Auckland. It looks a great place to raise a family and our children loved it. Sometimes as a wife and mother you have to do what's right for your husband and children (I know that's really old fashioned and believe you me I have never been thought of as that!) and this is one of those occasions.

One piece of advice - once you've made the decision just keep on with it - if you keep changing your mind then you'll end up tearing your hair out with worry and loosing all sense of purpose.

Hope this helps - at least you can chat with people in a similar position......

Lisa......

newkiwi

It is always difficult to make a big move like that. What type of work permit/ Permanent Residency will your husband get? Will the company assist with that?

The cost of living in Auckland is high for New Zealand standards, but generally lower than the UK. Salaries in NZ are almost always lower than in the UK, so if his salary is the same, it is actually like a step up.

My advice would be to not see it as a permanent move from the outset, but to go with the view of going for say two years, and then re-assessing what you want to do. Worst case scenario is that you decide to go back to the UK after two years, you would not have lost out on much and on the plus side you would hve gained a great experience of living in New Zealand. This may mean considering whether you want to rent out the house in the UK, rather than sell it, initially at least.

Being french yourself, have you thought about approaching an organisation like alliance fraincaise to see if they need tutors. It could give you an instant network of people and help with some money.

Good luck either way, its difficult to commit to something like this, but we are glad we are here.....

sunshine_and_rain

AKL IS expensive, housing is a lot dearer, and living cots are a little more expensive. However, it all depends on what you as a couple want from life. We live on the NI, and I love it here. Everything is accessable and its a fun place to live. Have family in AKL though as well - and they love it here as well. We live in Rotorua. I have 2 children and they are my main reason for coming and staying. They have a great life here, and there is so much more for them to do and experience as 'normal' life. If you are planning a family, then NZ is a great place to raise your children.

Costs is relative. If you are earning a good salary by NZ terms then you should be OK, but beware of living in AKl if not, my sister in Law is paying $480 a week to rent a house in Ponsonby at the moment (its is a very nice part of AKL and therfore more expensive though). You should be aware of housing costs though and rental costs. Also AKL is a HUGE sprawling city, so be sure you want city life, although its not like London - as there are beaches and bays and no where near as busy as London.

I am a HUGE believer in fate, Life throughs us the signs and the opportunities for a reason, maybe this is has come your way for a reason too??

Good luck - I know what a momentous decision it is. It would be good if they could extend your decision time - but it won;t matter bcause you'll still worry. Again, I would say the same, once you havemade your decision - don'y 2nd guess it - just be happy you have made the right decision and don't look back. You'll drive yourself nuts otherwise and cast doubt on yourself.

Good Luck - and Congratulations on the Job offer - count yourself lucky, Lots would love to come - but have to wait years for a job offer, so even if you don't take it - you have already been lucky.

Gwenaelle72

Thank you Lisa and Sunshine and Rain. We just emailed the company and ask a few more questions about various stuff.

The company organises the permanent residency contracts for both of us.

To be perfectly honest I cannot make the decision, more I think about it and more I wish that it hadn't happened. It has been a big year for us as we recently got married, are just about finishing the house and we are going on honeymoon in September for 3 weeks and I don't know if I now want to make the biggest thing I have ever done, moving to Auckland in November/December, it just seemed to be too soon and too much for me. Sometimes I think that it is easier to go there when you already have children, they keep you company. If he turns the offer down now well I don't know what will happen if we contact the agency again at the end of next year and ask them if they have any job for him. They will probably think well you don't really know what you want and this is totally understandable.

I feel down about it and feel sometimes tearful which is not a good sign. If I do it it will be for my husband and I will just need to cope, if I am not happy well I will come back.

gwen

bookemjano

Gwen, I really feel for you. The decision for us was quite easy, as we wanted it so much, it was only the thought of leaving family and friends that made us have any doubts, but they all support us so much and have made it easier for us.

I am so sure that you will make friends easily in NZ - you've already managed to make new contacts on this forum in a couple of days. Your husband will meet people through work, and no doubt you will get to meet them too. From what I've read on this forum re other people feeling lonely and tearful, NZ is one of the best places to be to help you get over it - there seems to be a lot of networks set up to help people meet other people. I'm sure your husband is having the same thoughts about meeting people and starting all over again.

For your own peace of mind could you not set a time limit - between you and your husband agree to a two year stay and review it from there?

Perhaps you need to do more research into social life in NZ, it may give you a little reassurance. Remember, there are so many people migrating there that all will have to start again, you're bound to come across some english and french people.

Maybe you could spend some time over there in the next few months? Even a week would give you a feel for it. I know you're going on honeymoon in September, perhaps you could fit something in around that?

With regard to having children, perhaps if you put it off until you've been in NZ 6 months (so that's a year from now), you should have a clearer picture of where you want your family to live.

Hope things start to become a bit clearer for you soon.

Jan

Dave and Lyns

Hi Gwen,

As most people have already said it can be a difficult decision but as Sunshine said you are already lucky that your OH has been headhunted.

You said that 'company organises the permanent residency contracts for both of us' - my question is do they mean a work to residency route? The work to residency is a route that I have also been considering (I'm still waiting for the company that were advertising over in the UK for people to come back to me) but you need to be working for 2 years and then you can apply for residency where you have to meet a criteria. Hence you don't actually get your residency for 2 years. The other route is the skilled migrant route which will give you your PR straight away when the application has gone through - this depends on what your OH does for a living and whether he will have enough points (but I have a feeling that he would by the sounds of it). My idea is that I'm going to wait for the company to get back to me and if I go over on a work to residency then I should be able to put in for my Skilled Migrant as soon as I'm over there. Anyway, just wanted to point out the routes (you probably know this already) so you know any pitfalls that might lay ahead (although I reckon you'll be fine).

We have already got one daughter but we are thinking about a second so we can understand what you are thinking in terms of before going or after. At the minute it is wait and see what happens up over the next couple of months in terms of job opportunties as I would be the main wage earner like your OH.

When you say that you have got 4 weeks to accept, do you know how long they will allow for you to actually get out to NZ? (as I would assume that your OH will have to put his notice in at his present employer anyway?).

Also, if he going over on the same salary then that's a good sign (even without the company car) as the wages do tend to be slightly less that UK.

Anyway, welcome to British Expats and have some Karma (Don't tell Pinkie as I can't give her anymore yet! )

Dave

Pinkie Pie

I heard that....