Lived the dream in NZ but too homesick
Mar 3rd 2010, 8:53 am
#16
Live from CHCH...
Joined: Jan 2009
Location: Auckland
Posts: 1,258
Re: Lived the dream in NZ but too homesick
Interesting reading...
I read from top bottom thinking wow everyone shares their opinion and no "fighting"... Let's face it, when we disagree on here we tend to attack one another!
Lee, your post is real interesting! Can I ask which trade you work in??
I work with Kiwis, Asian, Islander, Indians and I am the only European in the hotel I work at...
I must admit that we don't have the same work ethics... But they are FAR from being unfriendly, unwelcoming, abusive or anything negative...
Yes they won't go out of their ways to help or welcome me at first... And yes I find this in many social things too... It took some guys at the running club I go to ask my name, offer me a ride or all in all just have a conversation with me longer than just "Hi!"... At least they did not ignore me, just not engaging!
Here's my theory... NZ is a country that sees a lot of migrant n backpackers coming in daily/weekly/monthly/yearly... I think most Kiwis tend to assess you first before they let you anywhere near them... Am 28 & OH's 30... He used to tell ppl we're here for a year or so... Which I told him to stop saying! Since then, we've been going for drinks with a couple of couples... My point being "Ok you wont leave just yet, let's get to know you..."
Hope am making sense....
Oh, wanted to add... NZ is not all about Auckland... I love it, but it's not everyone's taste... I, for one, would try another city before packing everything & throwing the towel!
I read from top bottom thinking wow everyone shares their opinion and no "fighting"... Let's face it, when we disagree on here we tend to attack one another!
Lee, your post is real interesting! Can I ask which trade you work in??
I work with Kiwis, Asian, Islander, Indians and I am the only European in the hotel I work at...
I must admit that we don't have the same work ethics... But they are FAR from being unfriendly, unwelcoming, abusive or anything negative...
Yes they won't go out of their ways to help or welcome me at first... And yes I find this in many social things too... It took some guys at the running club I go to ask my name, offer me a ride or all in all just have a conversation with me longer than just "Hi!"... At least they did not ignore me, just not engaging!
Here's my theory... NZ is a country that sees a lot of migrant n backpackers coming in daily/weekly/monthly/yearly... I think most Kiwis tend to assess you first before they let you anywhere near them... Am 28 & OH's 30... He used to tell ppl we're here for a year or so... Which I told him to stop saying! Since then, we've been going for drinks with a couple of couples... My point being "Ok you wont leave just yet, let's get to know you..."
Hope am making sense....
Oh, wanted to add... NZ is not all about Auckland... I love it, but it's not everyone's taste... I, for one, would try another city before packing everything & throwing the towel!
Last edited by Matewx; Mar 3rd 2010 at 9:01 am.
Mar 3rd 2010, 7:49 pm
#17
Banned
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 50
Re: Lived the dream in NZ but too homesick
hi guys
I am the OH cheers and thank you for your interest.
It appears that this must be a common occurence or there wouldnt be so much interest.
There are many reasons to stay and go, our son has finally today received the start of help as he has most certainly been diagnosed with ADH
it's been hard coping with emigrating and all that it entails and finding our son went further off the rails due to this life changing event. We expected he may be hyperactive in the UK but nothing was said during his reception year at school, so we thought he was just boisterous, also my wife and i thought it would have caused problems with our medicals if he was diagnosed and i guess put our heads in the sand, and just tried to cope with things instead of seeking for help plus he was only 5.
Its been a fasinating journey through our own psyche to get to this decision to return to the UK. Ironic too as the reasons we left UK are still with us and will return but not as bad when we put our feet on UK soil. I know for a fact we would have settled if we had done this earlier in our relationship when we were far more carefree and tolerent to change in our lives.
I can't quite put my finger on it but the change to kiwi life style has been difficult for various reasons.
Unlike my good wife I dont have much family to miss but my heart goes out to her and our son seeing them lonely.
I move in different circles to my wife and initally was overwelmed with how good it all seemed, after a few weeks in my job I experienced so much hostility I felt I had to leave and I did. The maturity of some of the people I worked with was very questionable and I was even threatend with violence at one stage.
In the UK in my trade, I welcome travellers and would go out my way to help folks pass thru and enjoy the experience. I've worked with many kiwis and OZ folk and found them good honest and approacable in fact i got my jobs thru kiwi contacts in the UK.
I was basicly impeding on a clan thing it seemed, though my skills were appreciated by some, others would go out of their way verbally to make me feel crap, retaliating made things worse.
I have experienced this small mindedness in a few jobs now
moaning pom or pom bashing I put it down to a small isolated culture and somewhat Auckland city mentality among the under 30s.
The youth especially among the pacific comunity seem to have lost their identity in many respects and are embracing the American gangster culture bit like UK culture aggresive and somthing for nothing. I find pacific culture and maori culture absolutely fasinating what the maori have endured at the hands of a few greedy imperialists empire builders has undoubtly shaped their view of this new invasion on there doorstep.
I love reggea music and the pacific interpretation is good, mellow, and has its own identity. I'm 50 but i still love shapeshifter, fat fredys drop. I remember seeing hudu gurus in early 80s so this place is briming with talent and vibe, so why are some of the youth I have met so angry in NZ,
People like Serj Tankin chose to live here there is a reason, so what has England to offer? Probably one of the most freindly nations on the planet especially up north infrastructure, cheap, accessible shops, nice countryside.
The further South and North in NZ I worked the nicer folk were and more welcoming. People don't seem to mention this hostility so hopfully its only me, I'm open friendly and non racist I've worked extensively in the UK in groups like rock against racism and anti nazi league. I'm super tolerent but hey you can only take so much. I currently work with Germans, Irish, Brazilians and Cook islanders oh yes, and a dutch man we dont get no crap they let us do our work we work hard, long hours after the host nation has hit the hay
I havent given up on this beautifull country yet, but if there is a next time I'll head south out of the metropolis that is Auckland.
Finaly our eyes are much wider opened now we've learnt so much about ourselves which will make UK better for experiencing this which has been a good experience overall if fraught at times.
England is no better than NZ but may be a bit more tolerent if too open for its own good. This is just my opinion and personal experience and observation, I would certainly not hesitate to get on the plane and return to NZ but definatley head away from the city.
Lee.
I am the OH cheers and thank you for your interest.
It appears that this must be a common occurence or there wouldnt be so much interest.
There are many reasons to stay and go, our son has finally today received the start of help as he has most certainly been diagnosed with ADH
it's been hard coping with emigrating and all that it entails and finding our son went further off the rails due to this life changing event. We expected he may be hyperactive in the UK but nothing was said during his reception year at school, so we thought he was just boisterous, also my wife and i thought it would have caused problems with our medicals if he was diagnosed and i guess put our heads in the sand, and just tried to cope with things instead of seeking for help plus he was only 5.
Its been a fasinating journey through our own psyche to get to this decision to return to the UK. Ironic too as the reasons we left UK are still with us and will return but not as bad when we put our feet on UK soil. I know for a fact we would have settled if we had done this earlier in our relationship when we were far more carefree and tolerent to change in our lives.
I can't quite put my finger on it but the change to kiwi life style has been difficult for various reasons.
Unlike my good wife I dont have much family to miss but my heart goes out to her and our son seeing them lonely.
I move in different circles to my wife and initally was overwelmed with how good it all seemed, after a few weeks in my job I experienced so much hostility I felt I had to leave and I did. The maturity of some of the people I worked with was very questionable and I was even threatend with violence at one stage.
In the UK in my trade, I welcome travellers and would go out my way to help folks pass thru and enjoy the experience. I've worked with many kiwis and OZ folk and found them good honest and approacable in fact i got my jobs thru kiwi contacts in the UK.
I was basicly impeding on a clan thing it seemed, though my skills were appreciated by some, others would go out of their way verbally to make me feel crap, retaliating made things worse.
I have experienced this small mindedness in a few jobs now
moaning pom or pom bashing I put it down to a small isolated culture and somewhat Auckland city mentality among the under 30s.
The youth especially among the pacific comunity seem to have lost their identity in many respects and are embracing the American gangster culture bit like UK culture aggresive and somthing for nothing. I find pacific culture and maori culture absolutely fasinating what the maori have endured at the hands of a few greedy imperialists empire builders has undoubtly shaped their view of this new invasion on there doorstep.
I love reggea music and the pacific interpretation is good, mellow, and has its own identity. I'm 50 but i still love shapeshifter, fat fredys drop. I remember seeing hudu gurus in early 80s so this place is briming with talent and vibe, so why are some of the youth I have met so angry in NZ,
People like Serj Tankin chose to live here there is a reason, so what has England to offer? Probably one of the most freindly nations on the planet especially up north infrastructure, cheap, accessible shops, nice countryside.
The further South and North in NZ I worked the nicer folk were and more welcoming. People don't seem to mention this hostility so hopfully its only me, I'm open friendly and non racist I've worked extensively in the UK in groups like rock against racism and anti nazi league. I'm super tolerent but hey you can only take so much. I currently work with Germans, Irish, Brazilians and Cook islanders oh yes, and a dutch man we dont get no crap they let us do our work we work hard, long hours after the host nation has hit the hay
I havent given up on this beautifull country yet, but if there is a next time I'll head south out of the metropolis that is Auckland.
Finaly our eyes are much wider opened now we've learnt so much about ourselves which will make UK better for experiencing this which has been a good experience overall if fraught at times.
England is no better than NZ but may be a bit more tolerent if too open for its own good. This is just my opinion and personal experience and observation, I would certainly not hesitate to get on the plane and return to NZ but definatley head away from the city.
Lee.
Probably the biggest myth I keep hearing, in guide books, etc, is how friendly Kiwis are. Compared to who exactly, cos I haven't been overwhelmed with friendliness, etc. In fact, I would suggest they are some of the least friendly people you will meet, quite guarded, incredibly difficult to get to know. Also, if i had a quid for every time i've heard this joke, id be rich!
How do you know when a plane of poms has landed? The whining continues even when the engine is switched off.
(of course, the irony that they are complaining about pom's whinging is lost on them).
It seems weird to me that kiwis/ozzies have these little digs cos I remember in the UK how whenever a kiwi/oz would turn up to work how welcome they were made to feel! If a kiwi/ozzy turned up to my local, they would get the red carpet treatment...hahahahaha...like they were long lost brothers or something.
I'll be 100% honest - I do not like pakeha Kiwis (in general)! They do absolutely nothing for me. They're not particularly warm, or friendly. They have hardly any humor. They don't do much banter. Nope, totally overate themselves imho.
On the other hand, I have found Maori and pacific islanders really nice people.
Last edited by dytopia; Mar 3rd 2010 at 8:02 pm.
Mar 4th 2010, 6:24 am
#18
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 21
Re: Lived the dream in NZ but too homesick
Hi me again, thanks for reply its useful to hear from others who have had similar experiences, trying to fit in with in the local people.
I'm far from negative but I just feel sometimes folk are skirting round this issue so really it isn't being dealt with.
I guess in my trade I deal with a lot of machoism I'm a good observer. In the uk I worked with a lot of people who had learning difficultys and autism. I found it impossible to get into this sector in NZ as we have to go down the requalifying path and its not that well paid here either.
I went back into my old trade I'm a fitter but I chose a very small nich in that trade.
I wouldn't say it was across the board the hostility, more like a few stiring up trouble and others not having the inclination to find out for them selves so some one says something and well they all bleat the same tune with out finding out the truth. We've been here 7 months which isnt too long and yes we made a silly decision to come to Auckland, but an opportunity for work came up for my wife.
On hindsite we should have went south straight off but we fell into the kiwi work trap that is Auckland.
I love this country and the people are very different but a few really do spoil it and this i am repeatedly told has been a rewarding experience because you can't buy the wisdom you learn.
We are happy to be going back but if i was standing at the airport knowing what i know now I would still come.
Cheers Lee
I'm far from negative but I just feel sometimes folk are skirting round this issue so really it isn't being dealt with.
I guess in my trade I deal with a lot of machoism I'm a good observer. In the uk I worked with a lot of people who had learning difficultys and autism. I found it impossible to get into this sector in NZ as we have to go down the requalifying path and its not that well paid here either.
I went back into my old trade I'm a fitter but I chose a very small nich in that trade.
I wouldn't say it was across the board the hostility, more like a few stiring up trouble and others not having the inclination to find out for them selves so some one says something and well they all bleat the same tune with out finding out the truth. We've been here 7 months which isnt too long and yes we made a silly decision to come to Auckland, but an opportunity for work came up for my wife.
On hindsite we should have went south straight off but we fell into the kiwi work trap that is Auckland.
I love this country and the people are very different but a few really do spoil it and this i am repeatedly told has been a rewarding experience because you can't buy the wisdom you learn.
We are happy to be going back but if i was standing at the airport knowing what i know now I would still come.
Cheers Lee
