let's get real

Old Jul 9th 2011, 4:26 pm
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Default let's get real

A lot of people say that you've got to give it six months, a year, two years, before you can really settle in a new country. In reality it can take so much longer, especially if deep down you don't really want to assimilate into a new country/culture. I've been reading a lot of postings on the forum of late and to be honest I'm getting a bit fed up with the constant negativity. Folks, negativity breeds negativity. I'm convinced that some people don't really want to start a new life in a new country. What they really want is the country to change to suit their wants/needs.

If we're always going to compare everything to what we had before we're never going to be happy. Europe is an absolutely fantastic place, and there are no other continents on this small planet quite like it. It's got sooo much history, fantastic architecture, stunning scenery, and a multitude of diverse cultures within an area 1/2 the size of north america. What's not to love? And for those of us who are from there, it's a place to be extremely proud of.

Please excuse me, but I find a get a little frustrated with people who are extremely naive to think that in the space of less than 200 years, NZ is going to be at the same stage as Europe. What on earth are you thinking? There are so many complaints I wish I could hold a real debate with some posters so that we could all really think about the why's and wherefores.

Perhaps before we just complain about everything, can we possibly think to ourselves what the real reasons why some things are different to what we are used to? For example, road toll - our response is that kiwis are just bad drivers - we're so much better than the locals. Could it perhaps be anything to do with lack of public transport? Which of course comes with time and a great deal of investment. And the fact that 18 year old UK boys can't afford car insurance or find a place to park their car (thank god). Also the terrain is soo much different to the UK, and roading systems - dual carriageways etc. There is a scientific reason to most things, not just that people from the northern hemisphere are so much better at everything than people from the southern hemisphere.

I bet some of you even left the UK because you were sick of being over run with immigrants, and were peeved off with their lack of integration with the local communities. All I can say is, HELLO!!

I know a lot of people hate the kiwi attitude, "oh well, if you don't like it here then piss off". Well, when I lived in SW London I knew a LOT of Sth Africans. They always took great pleasure in telling everyone how much better Sth Africa was to the UK (esp the weather) - and do you know what the usual response they got from their local Brit community? "Why the hell don't you back then?!"

All I'm trying to say is, it doesn't matter what country it is, some things are going to be better than what you're used to, and some things are going to be worse. It's up to YOU to make things work for you. I hate small minded mentality, but do you know what, I challenge it. You have the power. If you don't like something, change it. If you really hate it here, then make a plan.

No excuses, it's getting boring.
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Old Jul 9th 2011, 4:41 pm
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Default Re: let's get real

Negativity is a lot more use as an insight into a new venture than "Rose tints" when making a massive move in life. Providing that you read the info in context to the posters "theme" then all is understood and appreciated. Good old Genesis supplies us with a load of "this is the crap to expect" so don,t say you haven't been warned posts but will be the first up to tell you he wouldn't trade NZ for UK. You expect utopia....be disappointed, expect sh~t and be pleasantly surprised..........
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Old Jul 9th 2011, 5:04 pm
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Default Re: let's get real

Originally Posted by Stormer999
Negativity is a lot more use as an insight into a new venture than "Rose tints" when making a massive move in life. Providing that you read the info in context to the posters "theme" then all is understood and appreciated. Good old Genesis supplies us with a load of "this is the crap to expect" so don,t say you haven't been warned posts but will be the first up to tell you he wouldn't trade NZ for UK. You expect utopia....be disappointed, expect sh~t and be pleasantly surprised..........
There is an art in being happy, and there's more to it than being happy because u didn't expect anything other than shit in the first place. If that is u, then ur probably going to find that the same shit will follow u wherever u go. U gotta open ur mind and open ur arms to things that r different than what ur used to sometimes.
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Old Jul 9th 2011, 5:32 pm
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Default Re: let's get real

Originally Posted by RJT UK
There is an art in being happy, and there's more to it than being happy because u didn't expect anything other than shit in the first place. If that is u, then ur probably going to find that the same shit will follow u wherever u go. U gotta open ur mind and open ur arms to things that r different than what ur used to sometimes.
I do not do happy pills just reality capsules and that is what this site is for, to let us know that settling into NZ lifestyle is hard and for that I thank all of the Kiwi's that give me guidance on this site, take their advice for what they intend and stop trying to pick a fight with them for their honesty. I am looking for the garden of Eden like everyone else on this planet and realise that I will have to create my own in NZ because I am naturally a happy person....but also a realist..
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Old Jul 9th 2011, 8:06 pm
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Default Re: let's get real

Originally Posted by RJT UK
There is an art in being happy, .
I completely agree!! To some extent you get what you expect/unconciously want in life (obviously not true for the random stuff like illness) because a lot of it is to do with how you view things, your thought patterns, what you choose to see/focus on etc...

Although the 'cons' as well as the 'pros' is definitely good to get a whole picture, if you spend too much time looking at the negatives after a while that's all you can see!
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Old Jul 9th 2011, 8:49 pm
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Default Re: let's get real

Originally Posted by Stormer999
Negativity is a lot more use as an insight into a new venture than "Rose tints" when making a massive move in life. Providing that you read the info in context to the posters "theme" then all is understood and appreciated. Good old Genesis supplies us with a load of "this is the crap to expect" so don,t say you haven't been warned posts but will be the first up to tell you he wouldn't trade NZ for UK. You expect utopia....be disappointed, expect sh~t and be pleasantly surprised..........
Had a chat about returning to the UK today (devil's advocate type of Sunday AM lie in question) and it was a resounding no..for a plethora of reasons.

Whilst there are loads of positive about a life back in the UK (in the right area..not NN13PZ!!) there is all the what I see as negative stuff. Kate could never 'copy' her job over there, I personally don't think my kids would fare well in UK schools, the crowds would drive me nuts and we have so much space here.

So there you go. NZ is good, NZ is cool, NZ is a wonderful place to live IMO. We all get irked by stuff and I personally hear very little whinging about 'NZ not being like the UK'. Those that moan on here in the main have good, honest moans. Like me and the driving over here..its shite. My view, my opinion its valid. Just like others who have negative views on other things. Like the crap clothes, crap internete, expensive cars, mobile phones, crappy supermarkets et al.

They are all valid and they will come out. They are there for you to digest or ignore. They are all worthwhile. As are the many posters who love it here. End of the day NZ is full of good and bad stuff..just like everywhere. You simply have to ensure that the good bucket has more in it than the shite bucket. My good bucket is brimming. Which is nice. The shite bucket has shite in it but its doable.

And if your shite bucket is too full you are right....you need to find a way to empty it. Life 'tis but a short sojourn. And that is the reason I need a Porsche Cayman sooner than later..stuff the Honda S2000!!!!
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Old Jul 9th 2011, 9:27 pm
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Default Re: let's get real

Originally Posted by RJT UK
There is an art in being happy
It's wanting what you've got, but if we all followed that mantra none of us would have emigrated I guess. Anyway, I'm trying to live my life more and more by 'happiness is wanting what you've got', not 'happiness is just over there, in that thing/place/feeling/experience/relationship'.
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Old Jul 9th 2011, 9:55 pm
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Default Re: let's get real

Originally Posted by RJT UK
A lot of people say that you've got to give it six months, a year, two years, before you can really settle in a new country. In reality it can take so much longer, especially if deep down you don't really want to assimilate into a new country/culture. I've been reading a lot of postings on the forum of late and to be honest I'm getting a bit fed up with the constant negativity. Folks, negativity breeds negativity. I'm convinced that some people don't really want to start a new life in a new country. What they really want is the country to change to suit their wants/needs.

If we're always going to compare everything to what we had before we're never going to be happy. Europe is an absolutely fantastic place, and there are no other continents on this small planet quite like it. It's got sooo much history, fantastic architecture, stunning scenery, and a multitude of diverse cultures within an area 1/2 the size of north america. What's not to love? And for those of us who are from there, it's a place to be extremely proud of.

Please excuse me, but I find a get a little frustrated with people who are extremely naive to think that in the space of less than 200 years, NZ is going to be at the same stage as Europe. What on earth are you thinking? There are so many complaints I wish I could hold a real debate with some posters so that we could all really think about the why's and wherefores.

Perhaps before we just complain about everything, can we possibly think to ourselves what the real reasons why some things are different to what we are used to? For example, road toll - our response is that kiwis are just bad drivers - we're so much better than the locals. Could it perhaps be anything to do with lack of public transport? Which of course comes with time and a great deal of investment. And the fact that 18 year old UK boys can't afford car insurance or find a place to park their car (thank god). Also the terrain is soo much different to the UK, and roading systems - dual carriageways etc. There is a scientific reason to most things, not just that people from the northern hemisphere are so much better at everything than people from the southern hemisphere.

I bet some of you even left the UK because you were sick of being over run with immigrants, and were peeved off with their lack of integration with the local communities. All I can say is, HELLO!!

I know a lot of people hate the kiwi attitude, "oh well, if you don't like it here then piss off". Well, when I lived in SW London I knew a LOT of Sth Africans. They always took great pleasure in telling everyone how much better Sth Africa was to the UK (esp the weather) - and do you know what the usual response they got from their local Brit community? "Why the hell don't you back then?!"

All I'm trying to say is, it doesn't matter what country it is, some things are going to be better than what you're used to, and some things are going to be worse. It's up to YOU to make things work for you. I hate small minded mentality, but do you know what, I challenge it. You have the power. If you don't like something, change it. If you really hate it here, then make a plan.

No excuses, it's getting boring.
We found the negative threads very helpful when making choices initially - we still made a couple of poor ones regarding rental housing - but had it not been for this forum, we would have jumped straight into a house purchase and would have ended up making a mistake we may never have recovered from.

I do agree that negativity breeds negativity to a point, however - I also think a lot of people vent on here because they spend the rest of the time walking around with fixed smile being 'glass half full' to their friends/family.

Speaking as someone who's lived in many different countries - we've always found the first 18 months the most difficult, simply because it seems to take that long to reach financial and emotional 'break even point'.

I'm also quite happy to hold up any mistakes I've made and surround them in flashing neon - if it stops just one family from making the same mistake costing them time, stress or hassle - then I'm chuffed to bits.

I've never been someone who believed in watching everyone 'learn the hard way' though, I would hope someone would do the same for us.


It's for this reason that I like the negative threads and read them even if it hurts! Mostly, I find peoples' experiences insightful and sometimes funny. (funny when it's appropriate to be funny, I don't laugh at old ladies falling over in the street or crying children!!
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Old Jul 10th 2011, 2:29 am
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Default Re: let's get real

Originally Posted by RJT UK
A lot of people say that you've got to give it six months, a year, two years, before you can really settle in a new country. In reality it can take so much longer, especially if deep down you don't really want to assimilate into a new country/culture. I've been reading a lot of postings on the forum of late and to be honest I'm getting a bit fed up with the constant negativity. Folks, negativity breeds negativity. I'm convinced that some people don't really want to start a new life in a new country. What they really want is the country to change to suit their wants/needs.

If we're always going to compare everything to what we had before we're never going to be happy. Europe is an absolutely fantastic place, and there are no other continents on this small planet quite like it. It's got sooo much history, fantastic architecture, stunning scenery, and a multitude of diverse cultures within an area 1/2 the size of north america. What's not to love? And for those of us who are from there, it's a place to be extremely proud of.

Please excuse me, but I find a get a little frustrated with people who are extremely naive to think that in the space of less than 200 years, NZ is going to be at the same stage as Europe. What on earth are you thinking? There are so many complaints I wish I could hold a real debate with some posters so that we could all really think about the why's and wherefores.

Perhaps before we just complain about everything, can we possibly think to ourselves what the real reasons why some things are different to what we are used to? For example, road toll - our response is that kiwis are just bad drivers - we're so much better than the locals. Could it perhaps be anything to do with lack of public transport? Which of course comes with time and a great deal of investment. And the fact that 18 year old UK boys can't afford car insurance or find a place to park their car (thank god). Also the terrain is soo much different to the UK, and roading systems - dual carriageways etc. There is a scientific reason to most things, not just that people from the northern hemisphere are so much better at everything than people from the southern hemisphere.

I bet some of you even left the UK because you were sick of being over run with immigrants, and were peeved off with their lack of integration with the local communities. All I can say is, HELLO!!

I know a lot of people hate the kiwi attitude, "oh well, if you don't like it here then piss off". Well, when I lived in SW London I knew a LOT of Sth Africans. They always took great pleasure in telling everyone how much better Sth Africa was to the UK (esp the weather) - and do you know what the usual response they got from their local Brit community? "Why the hell don't you back then?!"

All I'm trying to say is, it doesn't matter what country it is, some things are going to be better than what you're used to, and some things are going to be worse. It's up to YOU to make things work for you. I hate small minded mentality, but do you know what, I challenge it. You have the power. If you don't like something, change it. If you really hate it here, then make a plan.

No excuses, it's getting boring.
Hi RJT

You say amongst other things that , “negativity breeds negativity”, which to some degree can be the case. However, a forum such as this is all about peoples experiences, hopes, dreams and yes, nightmare scenarios. Sometimes we do need a platform to “vent” from, a safe podium if you like, where we can let off steam, have a laugh, a cry, a “whinge” without fear of upsetting the locals.

You say that you would like to hold a real debate with some people who post here, as to the whys and wherefore’s…. so okay, do it! That’s partly what the forum is about unless I’m mistaken. We all have our own opinions, and I’m sure you would agree with some, argue against others…. Who’s to say who is right? … put up the appropriate thread, draw the line and see who steps up! Just keep it clean, Queensbury rules, no gouging, hitting below the belt, and remember, we all have the right to our own opinions.

The last quip you made however, “no excuses its getting boring”, well, maybe you shouldn’t read the “boring” threads… just ignore them, as you would a “boring” TV program.

Lastly, it would be nice to hear a little more about your experiences, like where you are located, how long have you been here, how are you finding things…. Anything really, other than to just say you don’t like what you are reading... to date you have but seven postings, so why not add something a little more "positive" to the forum.... as you know, positivity breeds positivity

Peace.

Last edited by Kevin; Jul 10th 2011 at 2:36 am.
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Old Jul 10th 2011, 2:36 am
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Default Re: let's get real

Perhaps before we just complain about everything, can we possibly think to ourselves what the real reasons why some things are different to what we are used to? For example, road toll - our response is that kiwis are just bad drivers - we're so much better than the locals. Could it perhaps be anything to do with lack of public transport? Which of course comes with time and a great deal of investment. And the fact that 18 year old UK boys can't afford car insurance or find a place to park their car (thank god). Also the terrain is soo much different to the UK, and roading systems - dual carriageways etc. There is a scientific reason to most things, not just that people from the northern hemisphere are so much better at everything than people from the southern hemisphere.
Some of the reasons are as follows:

1. It is very easy to get a license in New Zealand - my wife drove there for 10 years, never had a driving lesson, could not drive a manual. Why do you think there are so many automatics in NZ?

2. The state of some of the cars - brakes, tyres, shock absorbers all way below the legal limit. My brother in law happily drives around in a car that is simply a death trap - I know, I have driven it.

3. Over aggressive driving - try using the filter lanes near Auckland.

Most of the comments I heard over there were from Kiwi's along the lines of '%$#!&^ asian drivers'.The death toll figures in NZ are simply horrendous given the population.

This is the sort of information that is useful for people to know before coming here - I certainly drove with the attitude that everyone was going to do something stupid and that kept me safe for 3 years. I very much doubt you will find anyone who thinks that the general standard of driving is very good, but that hardly makes them euro supremacists!
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Old Jul 10th 2011, 2:44 am
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Default Re: let's get real

And....

No excuses, it's getting boring
...possibly the most negative thing I have read on these forums!!!
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Old Jul 10th 2011, 3:02 am
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Default Re: let's get real

*sigh*
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Old Jul 10th 2011, 3:14 am
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Smile Re: let's get real

I like the people who move and think NZ will be like the UK in every detail. The sooner you can accept it's diffrent the better chance you will have of resuming a normal life. So get ya gumboots and swanny on, slap on some sunscreen and get out there .
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Old Jul 10th 2011, 3:30 am
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Default Re: let's get real

Originally Posted by Charismatic
I like the people who move and think NZ will be like the UK in every detail. The sooner you can accept it's diffrent the better chance you will have of resuming a normal life. So get ya gumboots and swanny on, slap on some sunscreen and get out there .
And wait for summer when you can go to the bach, put on some jandals, and take a six pack of Lion Red to the beach in your chilly bin.
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Old Jul 10th 2011, 3:43 am
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Default Re: let's get real

Originally Posted by Genesis
Had a chat about returning to the UK today (devil's advocate type of Sunday AM lie in question) and it was a resounding no..for a plethora of reasons.

Whilst there are loads of positive about a life back in the UK (in the right area..not NN13PZ!!) there is all the what I see as negative stuff. Kate could never 'copy' her job over there, I personally don't think my kids would fare well in UK schools, the crowds would drive me nuts and we have so much space here.

So there you go. NZ is good, NZ is cool, NZ is a wonderful place to live IMO. We all get irked by stuff and I personally hear very little whinging about 'NZ not being like the UK'. Those that moan on here in the main have good, honest moans. Like me and the driving over here..its shite. My view, my opinion its valid. Just like others who have negative views on other things. Like the crap clothes, crap internete, expensive cars, mobile phones, crappy supermarkets et al.

They are all valid and they will come out. They are there for you to digest or ignore. They are all worthwhile. As are the many posters who love it here. End of the day NZ is full of good and bad stuff..just like everywhere. You simply have to ensure that the good bucket has more in it than the shite bucket. My good bucket is brimming. Which is nice. The shite bucket has shite in it but its doable.

And if your shite bucket is too full you are right....you need to find a way to empty it. Life 'tis but a short sojourn. And that is the reason I need a Porsche Cayman sooner than later..stuff the Honda S2000!!!!
Please stop banging on about the 'Shite Bucket'. I`m just about to have my lunch.
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