pippalonghorn

What a good, interesting post Tommyluck. I feel we all have that place where we thrive in life and your lucky that you have found yours.

It just takes some of us a bit longer to find ours. I'm settled in the UK but not in the area I am living now. It's good to be home but here is not my forever home. I suppose that's the downfall of having the guts to try different countries - some of us never truely know where we really want to be. We all have one thing in common though and that's we have tried it.

bourbon-biscuit

Doesn't mean they don't exist
I am frequently writing on here that I know plenty of expats who are very happy with NZ and their beautiful lives here, but I've met several with a bitterness towards the UK that I don't relate to at all.

bearskin

What are your thoughts about the area? It is where a lot of my family are from originally - i.e. my grandparents where from there, my parents were born there... I used to play around the Durham Cathedral as a boy.

When we flew back to the UK two years ago we flew into Newcastle and spent the first few days in the area (generally north of Newcastle, not Durham) and really liked it. Could see myself living somewhere like that - maybe Alnwick and wandering over to Barter Books on a Saturday morning to sit by the fire and have hot chocolate, lol.

lardyl

/wafts into the thread like a lingering bad smell with a strange feeling of dejavu/

Been in NZ for nearly 8 years and been through all the stages, however, it seems that the kiwi "market" for my work is never going to catch up with Europe or Oz so there is a very strong possibility that once the kids are grown enough it'll be time to head off back to Europe or maybe Melbourne. However there is a strong chance of some retirement time here later on. Who knows.

a brief thought occurs maybe "Kiwi Professionalism" could be like Matilda (you know the poem)
.... or possibly a thing like "Military Intelligence" (you know the joke)

anyway on the subject of "censorship", my limited experience is of more people leaving the forum for being *considered* too negative rather than too positive about NZ.

pippalonghorn

Oh we will stay in the north east area. I love being close to my sister. I would like to eventually live somewhere with a large chunk of land. We can't afford that right now but will hopefully get it one day. There is nothing like the north east people. Were about 6 miles from Durham.

I agree about the book shops though. We have lots of second hand book stores which I could spend all day browsing through.

I do think that living in another country opens your world up. You realise that life isn't just contained to your own little village. I am not the same person as I was before I emigrated. I hope I've changed for the better. I'm more understanding of others now and their situations and more tolerant too.

If your ever in the area your more than welcome to visit. I've got lots of books and a log burner! Not sure I make the best hot chocolate you'll have tasted though! Lol

lardyl

nice spot, years ago as a drunken student I was often found lying on the stone graves outside the cathedral staring up at the (spinning) stars.....
bits of County Durham are a bit rough tho, take the road up to Pity Me to see that or some of the pit villages we lived in when first married - Ushaw Moor or the Langleys
Northumberland is a nice spot if you can make the work side work I suppose -bit like the cheaper and more green parts of NZ. Hard to reach and commute from but a pleasant spot.

Catchafire

Americans and South Africans have been the most vocal in slagging of their former homeland in my experience. I pay very little attention to news from the UK these days.

Regarding "limited opportunities", I have found NZ to be a catalyst to reinvention and the discovery of new skills. I was a business development manager for some large IT corporations back in the UK. Not many of those around here in Marlborough. So I started my own business and take great satisfaction that I can support my family on the back of my own endeavours. I make wine, run a small guest house and I am currently studying for my skippers license, so I can take our guests out for a day out in the sounds. Which is much better for my well being than being a corporate wage slave.

Now if you want to argue that not pursuing my previous career is limiting my potential here in NZ, I would have to disagree. IMO your opportunities are only limited by your imagination.

Stormer999

Surely if they are "too negative" living in NZ are they not just moving to another forum group such as returning to the UK where they can interact with like minded peeps instead of just staying on here and making themselves more miserable...and are most of the peeps that use the NZ forum leaving after they gain entry as they are then quite happy with that.

TommyLuck

I think the colloquially call this; living the dream.

TommyLuck

Absolutely.

I've met plenty who are pleased to be in NZ rather than the UK, but none speak in derogatory terms about the UK.

However, my Dad speaks about the UK in derogatory terms frequently - he still lives there. Always will. Go figure

Builder UK

Many naive people do

People in the UK don't realise how good they have got it, that is the 1 thing I am thankful to NZ British expats and NZ itself, it made me appreciate what I have and where I live.

Good night and God bless peeps

TommyLuck

Not sure how "good" my parents "have it".

Mum has recently been diagnosed with Parkinsons disease and is a self employed Housekeeper, so not the greatest ailment when you work with your hands. Dad stacks shelves at Tesco largely because he simply can't afford to retire.

Both will be 60 next year, with a little bit of capital in their house but no private pension to speak of will be largely relying on the state if/when the time comes that they can't work, because of;

a. Health Reasons
b. No one will employ them

That said, it's really isn't the fault of the UK that they don't have a "pot to piss in" [a oft regaled quote of my old man] - poor decisions on business ventures are the real reasons. Decisions made by them and only them, and yet somehow it's someone else's fault.

I've given up trying to reason with Dad in particular, not least that at the very least they own their own house and have jobs at all!!

You see, when you begin to blame factors that are sometimes irrelevant and certainly beyond your control you will never ever come to terms with the situation you find yourself in and therefore put yourself in a position to move on and improve your situation be it money, general wellbeing, weight, cigarettes, work, alcohol etc.

Tom H

There's quite a few here who have nothing but bitterness about the UK

I went back to London, only for a couple of days but any negatives I had when first came over (I slagged it off), have all gone. I think the move made me realise what it was that you had and left behind. Barking was still Barking - a wonderful blend of a mixture of cultures, the Underground still contained people that don't know what soap is, getting to the office was all about how fast you could go - things like that, that made the UK what it is.

Yet I hear of nothing but oh in the UK you get gangs, foreigners kill, long live UKIP etc - hmm, no different to here. Oh, the UK is full of left wing apologists, really? I presume the left wing haters then didn't take Labour Day off and worked, in order not to be hypocrites. The UK is full of foreigners - well what are you in NZ then? I'd certainly never give my nationality up, god bless Blighty.

Crime, Obese, slums, chavs etc, they all exist here. Google 'police ten seven' and you can see where we're coming from.

I think the ones who continue to slag the UK off are the ones that want something to defend their move to NZ if it's going pear shaped. We heavily considered going back when the reserve bank set the LTV to 80% minimum and I listed all the negatives I had of the UK, and would they stop me from returning. None of them did. I spoke to the company that do the Football Manager game and was all but set to return until my wife said no. I'm glad she did put her foot down on this, as after mine and her trips, we enjoy the UK, it is where we're from, but it's no longer our home anymore.

Bo-Jangles

Like all the other hundreds of folks we have encountered in our emigration journey that said they hate it in the UK, it's gone to the dogs and all the other rubbish about how lucky we are / how they were gonna, coulda, woulda shoulda emigrated when they had the chance.... if only, but ... for whatever reason they didn't do it.

I think you have to have a certain motivation and for the stars and cats and dogs and finances and kids and parents all other things to be in alignment, with a little spark or push could tip you one way or the other between staying and doing what you're doing or moving on to something else. This is true for any situation: be it the house your living in or the job your doing - some days you love it others you hate it but most of the time it's just okay.

Being 'okay' works a lot of the time but sometimes we get a little bit 'Animal farm' and get greedy or envious of others that appear to be more 'okay' than us. It's good to have aspirations and look outside of your sphere. Them green hills far away might look like a better option but you have to have some motivation to get yourself up off you butt and have a look and see what it's like - far less have the guts to actually go for it and jump through all the bureaucracy and process of transporting yourself and all your wordly goods beyond that horizon.

Who knows what lies beyond the horizon, you won't know unless you step off the edge. It could be better, it could be worse: you pays your money and takes your chances. It's a 50:50 chance and despite all best efforts I don't think that 50% of people will stay forever. I have seen statistics can't remember what or where (but have faith I can rely on someone here with a direct link to Wikipedia on all things New Zealandy to find them and prove me wrong)

I know y'all think of me as a moaning old minnie but really I'm stuck in the middle, many things about the UK to love and hanker after but really I am comfortable (most days) with just being me and getting on with whatever comes my way, regardless of where I might be. I do have certain frustrations here and some things certainly got lost in translation in terms of making my life more 'okay' here than it was in the UK - it's far from it, but the stoic nature and degree of humour means I am mostly ambivalent to the fact. Cest la vie, it is what it is and we will soldier on. I

I am quite happy with my place in life - I don't have any great yearning or desire to be somewhere else and I have neither the motivation nor the strength in my own circumstances or character to make any such radical change in the foreseeable. It's a huge undertaking and I have neither the ambition or confidence to embark upon such a huge project of selling houses, changing jobs and all that malarkey all over again.

Such is life, this of course could all change tomorrow!!

To me anywhere is liveable on most days provided you have your basic needs met, your freedom, somewhere to live, food to eat and a bed to sleep in. Most days things tick along on a fairly even keel, we go to work, get along mostly amiably with the folks we meet, come home have dinner relax a bit in whatever way that suits, go to sleep and hopefully get up the next day to do it all over again.

We all differ though on what we will tolerate on the continuum of new versus old, being competitive or risk taking, being courageous, embracing change, attention to detail and orientation towards other people around us. Most people are happy to accept stability rather than growth or change. I am not one of them really and think of the world in terms of cavemen, the world has changed beyond recognition even in my lifetime and if people had no aspirations or ideas beyond the horizon then none of us would be where we are and people would all still be living in caves.

Trying somehow to wrap up the essay and segway back to the point of this thread - I like change, I like new things and a bit of risk taking but am one who pays great attention to detail, likes things done properly and am hugely intolerant of sloppiness and the she'll be right attitude that prevails. I wasn't at all ready for that particular cultural change - it's a biggie and I might go on about it but I have never looked back and thought that I coulda, woulda shoulda stayed in the UK because of it.

I don't do that with any aspect of my life - we move on, we deal with the consequence but don't have to necessarily love it all - life's not like that.

Polly 3

Wow, this got off topic in a big way! This mobile phone while working thing, is of course a worldwide problem. Having our bathrooms renovated here in OZ (so we can sell to return to NZ) and the tiler, at $80p/h, spent half an hour talking to his wife on his phone. I politely told him I would of course deduct that time from the the account and he was stunned! I also pointed out, he had taken upwards of 20 enquiries about work on other jobs during the day that I would overlook. In my local mall, many shops now have signs saying "Anyone bringing goods to the counter while talking on mobiles will not be served, its rude" Buy hey, thats OZ for you!
I really would be interested to hear what others do about people you employ by the hour spending so much time on the phone, or is this something we just have to get over?