Snap Shot

BucksBoy, any chance your wife could, 'ave a word' with my husband ? He's a kiwi. Born in Britain, emigrated with his parents as a young boy to NZ in the '60's. He returned to Britain in 1990 in his late twenties for his late start OE. We married in 1994 two years after meeting in Britain. I told him during our engagement that I wasn't interested in moving to NZ. Somehow in the intervening years he worked it past me.

We lived in Britain until 2011 when he relocated/I emigrated to NZ. His mother and sister live in Auckland, we don't ! His sister is married with children. His 79 year old mother isn't getting any younger. So we've been able to visit his family more often than we would have if we were still in Britain.

Auckland isn't the city it once was when he was young man. He's also experiencing New Zealand as it is in the here and now. Not some daydream of NZ that he would have kept dreaming if I hadn't agreed to come to NZ, mostly to give him a dose of reality.

As to the future ? If I don't get a job, the facts will be staring us in the face. In the three and a half years I've been here I've only been able to get temporary jobs either from employment agencies or directly from the organisation concerned as the job was on a short term project. I've spent more time out of paid employment than in. That isn't the right way to live. For me, at least. I can't just be mouldering away in NZ indefinitely.

Believe me, it's not for the want of trying.

Anyway, wrt NZ. My view is pretty much, 'is that it ?' Not so much different to Britain IMO. Well, 'on the eye' at least. We had visited NZ three times for a holiday/family visit over the years before coming here. There was not enough of a positive difference in NZ to make me want to come. When we got home from a visit to NZ I never said, 'that was fantastic, I wish we lived there' no, it was more like, 'thank God that's over, I'm glad we're home.' So, we're here mostly on my husband's sentiment. He is well aware of how fed up I am.

If we ever return to Britain it will be because the facts will be staring us in the face. Come to NZ for a better life ? No. Similar to what we had in Britain, but I already knew that. OK, my husband doesn't commute to work anymore which is a plus point. However, there will be things that will be edited out of our lives upon our return to Britain, should we ever go.

Snap Shot

What honeymoon period ? Well apart from week on Jersey in the Channel Islands which was very nice straight after getting married in 1994. Then again in 2004 for our second honeymoon after ten years of marriage.

There's been no honeymoon period for us. Total/usual nightmare from day one of arrival in NZ.

When our furniture arrived (we had sent it on ahead of us, it was 'on the dockside' on our arrival) it was most certainly not like Christmas ! I just felt embarrassed, as in, 'oh God, we've really done it now. We won't be going home, we sold our home, this is just our furniture arriving.' My husband felt that if our furniture could speak it would say, 'what did you bring us here for ?'

BucksBoy

This website needs more like you, keep it up!! At least until 'they' gag you!

Snap Shot

Gag me ? I'm a don't all at once !

bourbon-biscuit

Gag her?! What are you on about; Snap Shot has been on here for yonks and yonks!

Assanah

This might be a new thought but we also can change over time. What is right and good for us now might not be in the future. So if you guys all use your superior planning skills how do you figure this in? NZ is one of the worst countries in the West for changing interest as options in NZ are limited indeed.

Catchafire

Still beating the same tired old drum Assanah?

The more time we spend here the more opportunities have open up for us.

Builder UK

It does rather seem the negatives are somewhat overly moderated on here.

There is a hint of bitterness and hatred in some of the responses to anybody criticising NZ, this reminds me of brit expats over there sadly, it feels like a hard sell, then when flaws are pointed out you get the mardy cold shoulder, it's all smiles and happy clapping while you are in awe of empty beaches and the bush.

It feels/felt that most brit expats I met actually enjoyed the fact that Britain was in recession, enjoyed the fact Britain had problems with terrorism and immigration, I got the "glad we got out when we did" comment a lot, it was like they were happy at Britains failings, so they still felt like they had 1 up on friends back in Britain.

I know one lady in NZ who when I visited, slagged off to high heaven about her family because nobody had been to visit her in NZ, she even stopped talking to her own daughter for a while because she went to the Caribbean for a holiday instead of NZ.

These are my own personal views and opinions and are not the views and/or opinions of any other member on this site.

Builder UK

I'd also like to add (I had to stop before, there was a Muslim terrorist on my garden) about the herald and media, it seemed to have a very overactive interest in negative world news, again mainly British news.

MrsFychan

Moderation usually only happens when Reports have been made, we prefer to moderate moderately but if people complain we will act.

Also some people just like to come on and post rubbish after being previously banned or are from another site just trying to bait. Sometimes we react immediately and some times we let it run and most times the members can suss it out themselves.

So I do not agree that NZ forum is overly moderated

The Weezer

Yes, finding a sausage sizzle on a shopping trip might not have the same charm after a few years.

You have a point, Assanah, especially if you have children. I would want my child to have as many options as possible, especially as they grow and their interests change. Limited options is one of the driving forces of the OE for young people in NZ, not some some preternatural desire to explore the world, as the Kiwis would have it. People in remote places and islands have always left in large numbers to find more and better, probably since time immemorial.

Yes, it's just too expensive, plus, you'd have to really want to visit New Zealand. I think there are many other places people would probably rather see first. Before I came to NZ to live, I visited the far south of Patagonia. Extraordinary place, lots of unique wildlife, and very, very few people. Quite a bit further south than NZ as well, giving it that spectacular light you only see in the really high latitudes. If someone asked me for a recommendation for travel, I would definitely recommend Southern Chile and Argentina over NZ.

bearskin

I was talking to my brother who lives in UK last week, and he does an hour each way commute to work and back. He did say that if he had that time back it would be like having a day back to himself to do what he wanted to every week. I do think that a commute to work is a significant factor in their lives for those who do it.

Robbo25

Some people are genuinely glad to be out of the place because for a lot of people being born there doesn't mean they have to love the place, however you are also right that many people do not want to be perceived as having made a mistake. Just like doing a new job or whatever, people are hardly likely to say 'oh no this was a terrible move' soon after doing it, that's just human behaviour.

bourbon-biscuit

I snipped out the first bit of your post cos I don't agree with it; ime negative posts remain and get a more or less sympathetic ear unless they are rude or become ridiculous making assertions about kiwi people and culture. I think that's fair and right and if you want to just wrap it all up as bad-bad-bad then it seems there are other forums on the net that will meet that need nicely.

The bit about meeting british expats who are cheery about Britain's troubles, and self-congratulatory about getting out of there, and bitter about relatives who are grieving and/or don't want to make the trip out here: yes, yes, yes! Cambridge is full of them. Coffee in town is like a game of 'dodge the annoying expat'.

TommyLuck

Can't say I've come across any ex-pats like this, nor am I one of them.


To the OP;

I've said on here before and I'll say it again, I'm still proud to be British. The UK gave me, health care, employment and wealth that I only have dreamed of as I embarked on a life after education in 2004.

Having been back to the UK recently, I enjoyed the visit. I didn't see a crap country struggling in the doldrums.

I saw a place that I once enjoyed (perhaps too much) but my life changed and a move out of there - given I'm in an international relationship - was an option that I needed to take for the sake of my own sanity and the emotional health of my family.

New Zealand could really be anywhere. If my wife was Brazilian, I suppose a move to Brazil would have had the same effect.

I enjoy New Zealand because of the opportunity it's afforded my life style and my family that I simply couldn't manage to do in the UK - my fault not the UK's!!

Financially in the UK I was earning quite a lot more than I do in New Zealand, but what worth are those earnings if I end up divorced, paying child support and other costs whilst being miserable?

So I might, or might not be be viewed as a happy clapper, but the truth is had I stayed in the UK the proverbial was about to hit the fan. I decided that emigrating was a good idea and NZ was the country of choice (owing to my wife's nationality).

For these reasons NZ has been a sanctuary for me and my family and therefore I am grateful that I have met good people, found employment that I ultimately enjoy (mostly) and my family and I have settled and regained our love and trust for one another.

As I say New Zealand could be anywhere. But it's New Zealand that has given me and my family the spring board for all this to happen.

There are many reasons people emigrate, down to minute detail. Just like most things in life; for some it works. Some have expectations that are not fulfilled. Some realise that they've made a huge error.

If you are in the later categories, I feel for you but the failings in your life (we all have them - me, I'm a procrastinator!!) are not down to a workings of a whole country.