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Its just flippin coffee..

Its just flippin coffee..

Old Sep 7th 2012, 3:55 am
  #1  
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Default Its just flippin coffee..

isnt it?

I am a man who drinks lots of coffee, and always has done. I like my coffee strong and black.

Since i ended up here people have been waxing lyrical about how fantastic the coffee in nz is. These conversations go like this..

Them: 'do you want to meet for a coffee?'

Me:'no'

Them: 'why not? the coffee here in nz is great'

Me: 'Why would i want to go out, when i have a kettle in the house where i can drink nice coffee which i buy because i like it'

Them: "but you dont get the whole experience and quality of coffee at home'

Me: 'by experience i guess you mean standing about in the way of the other customers while one poor person with a made up job title fights with a machine filled with steam that sounds like it is trying to blow up a balloon with no lips. This poor individuals life is made even more diffcult by the fact that no one actually wants their coffee to taste like coffee. So they spend half an hour trying to decode the random selection of words that someone has made up in order to make themselves sound cultured. Mocha chcoa double shot skinny de caf with sprinkles is no way for an adult to talk. You cant even just ask for a filter coffee from a big pot behind the counter. No you have to have it freshly made to ensure that as much power and energy as possible goes into each and every drop.'

Them: 'but you can get a person to bring it to you'

Me: 'Indeed you can. You get a nice number to hold while you stare at people who have obvioulsy finished there overprice cup of froth but are refusing to move. If you are lucky you might get a seat at one of the nice tables on the side of the road to add a twist of exhaust fume to the whole cultured experience. All this while trying not to burn out your retinas due to the sun reflecting off the stylish and yet bum numbingly pointless shiney silver tables and chairs. Eventually some underpaid and underwhelming member of staff will bring my liquid brown out to me in a cup that has a handle which is so small as to be only of use to an as yet undercovered tribe of south american pigmys. Just to finish this joy of design off, the surface area of the cup will be the most efficent cooling device known to man rendering my vessel of caffine cold in 3.7 seconds.'

Them: ' Pint then?'

Me: 'i'll get my coat'
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Old Sep 7th 2012, 4:18 am
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Default Re: Its just flippin coffee..

Originally Posted by theghostofdustybin View Post
Them: ' Pint then?'

Me: 'i'll get my coat'
We speak the same language
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Old Sep 7th 2012, 4:28 am
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Default Re: Its just flippin coffee..

I prefer a cup of Nescafe Gold instant coffee anyday
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Old Sep 7th 2012, 8:09 am
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Default Re: Its just flippin coffee..

Glad I like tea and don't drink coffee
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Old Sep 7th 2012, 8:58 am
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Default Re: Its just flippin coffee..

NZ coffee was like cat pee last time I was in Auckland.

Want real coffee you have to travel to Melbourne.
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Old Sep 7th 2012, 9:02 am
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Default Re: Its just flippin coffee..

I like coffee, I drink a lot of the stuff but I still don't get the rave reviews about NZ coffee.
Its just regular coffee, same as you get anywhere else. True there's some real good stuff out there and some real shitty pond water, some people make it well and some don't (and some crazy patterns on the foam are better than others!)but thats the same pretty much anywhere you go.

I have just been introduced to Turkish coffee by one of my clients (I'm a midwife not a hooker!) if anyone knows of anywhere in Auckland that makes a decent cup of that I'd be interested in hearing about it.
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Old Sep 7th 2012, 9:05 am
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Default Re: Its just flippin coffee..

Possibly my favourite post ever.

You've just described all the coffee wankers up in Kingsland.

This whole 'coffee culture' in New Zealand is a load of over marketed bollocks.
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Old Sep 7th 2012, 9:12 am
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Default Re: Its just flippin coffee..

I love coffee, but I don't drink coffee at cafes - Wasting money! (IMO)

latte, cappuccino and flat white - they are yuck! Long black is nice though...(sometimes)

btw NZ coffee is gr8t!
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Old Sep 7th 2012, 9:21 am
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Default Re: Its just flippin coffee..

This quote from the website of a Cafe in Brighton UK (Taylor Street Barista) explains the difference between a latte in Wellington (most places but not the BNZ food court Crapcoffee!) and a latte in UK:

"The first time you have a really good coffee can be a bit of a curse. With one sip, your expectations are radically transformed. All other coffee is ruined for you. Coffee shops that used to prop up every corner of every city block soon reveal themselves to be mere pretenders: the blind serving the blind. Purveyors of limp and burnt and watery coffee.

With one sip, your coffee options dwindle to a precious few: a mere handful of skilled baristas capable of meeting your newly enlightened needs.

Yours is a wretched plight, indeed. For those who inhabit this lonely world, we welcome you to our humble little corner of the web: a place where real coffee lovers can gather around and share and console and learn from each other.




This Chain and Flat White in Soho do replicate a good Wellington latte BUT in the other places Costa, Cafe Nero, Starbucks, the barista makes or breaks the quality of your drink....too often they overextract and leave your drink with a burnt taste. This means that sometimes in UK it is better to find a place that does a mild coffee with froth on top so you don't waste your money and you can actually drink it....such a coffee is a bit unexciting however, so I'd probably prefer tea instead....

The coffee is the only thing I am missing from NZ and I knew it would be from my trips home. I will try to make it at home when our container gets unpacked finally - but it's not the same as the home machines don't have the same bar pressure or sth.
It's a nice first world problem to have and at least I have re-dressed the balance on this thread.
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Old Sep 7th 2012, 9:25 am
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Default Re: Its just flippin coffee..

Originally Posted by crap coffee View Post
I love coffee, but I don't drink coffee at cafes - Wasting money! (IMO)

latte, cappuccino and flat white - they are yuck! Long black is nice though...(sometimes)

btw NZ coffee is gr8t!
Crapcoffee have you ever tried a latte at Maranui (strong), or Polo or Elements or Salvation(strong) in Wellington? If so I don't get your issue with Cafe Coffee in Wellington.
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Old Sep 7th 2012, 9:41 am
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Default Re: Its just flippin coffee..

Originally Posted by luvwelly View Post


This Chain and Flat White in Soho do replicate a good Wellington latte BUT in the other places Costa, Cafe Nero, Starbucks, the barista makes or breaks the quality of your drink....too often they overextract and leave your drink with a burnt taste. This means that sometimes in UK it is better to find a place that does a mild coffee with froth on top so you don't waste your money and you can actually drink it....such a coffee is a bit unexciting however, so I'd probably prefer tea instead....

The coffee is the only thing I am missing from NZ and I knew it would be from my trips home. I will try to make it at home when our container gets unpacked finally - but it's not the same as the home machines don't have the same bar pressure or sth.
It's a nice first world problem to have and at least I have re-dressed the balance on this thread.
I find australian coffees like that - the one I had in Sydney Airport.. That was so different from Nz coffee. an interesting experience but I prefer Nz coffee.

Yeah, BNZ food court coffee IS horrible indeed!
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Old Sep 7th 2012, 9:42 am
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Default Re: Its just flippin coffee..

I'm with you guys 100% of the way, I love my coffee, hot black and strong and I can drink pints of the stuff everyday. I do not want all the fluff and nonsense, I don't understand why people will pay $4 for half a cup of coffee with three inches of frothy milk, a naff old fern shape and marshmallows on top. How can people claim this to be the best thing about being in NZ or that coffee is something uniquely Kiwi.

How can it be better than anywhere else in the World?

I don't get it at all, it's all in the roasting they say, well don't they have commercial roasting machines imported from some far flung place in the world, along with the coffee beans.
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Old Sep 7th 2012, 9:47 am
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Default Re: Its just flippin coffee..

Originally Posted by luvwelly View Post
Crapcoffee have you ever tried a latte at Maranui (strong), or Polo or Elements or Salvation(strong) in Wellington? If so I don't get your issue with Cafe Coffee in Wellington.
No...

I go to Clark's cafe (one in the library) - that is the only coffee place for me since I was a uni student. and I believe -- the best coffee/hot chocolate in Welly.

btw luvwelly I no longer live in Welly. so no more new coffee experiences for me... in future and oh yeah, why bother drinking [email protected] coffee in Auckland? No thanks mate.

Last edited by crap coffee; Sep 7th 2012 at 9:53 am.
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Old Sep 7th 2012, 10:33 am
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Default Re: Its just flippin coffee..

Marketing at it's worst. When I first came to this country in 1980, the burgers from the local take away were wonderful. Always added extra's like beatroot or mushrooms. I swore Macdonalds (as it was spelt before they decided to save petty cash on their A's!) would never make a mark here. Alas the power of advertising and the need to belong takes over. This is what has happened with the coffee thing. Coffee comes from a bean of which (as far as I am aware) is not grown in NZ. Therefore it is just coffee and no better than anywhere else. Rant over!
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Old Sep 7th 2012, 11:50 am
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Default Re: Its just flippin coffee..

Never got the coffee thing. Liked it for about 2months when I was 6 and hated it ever since. Think I thought I was sophisticated and then realised that it wan't worth the effort of drinking something I didn't really like.
So glad Mr S hates the stuff as well or I'd never go near him In fact when I think back none of my exes ever liked coffee or that's what they said anyway...

Give me a nice cup of tea any day
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